


And Now The Whole World Knows

by funfan



Series: Durch jedes Feuer [1]
Category: Football RPF, Real Person Fiction, Sports RPF
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Coming Out, Football Hooliganism, Homophobia, M/M, Media Criticism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-02-19 03:06:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 157,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2372264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funfan/pseuds/funfan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I thought it was for the best if no one knew. And now the whole world does.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Front Page News

Marco had been staring at the bright display of his notebook in his dark room for minutes, not believing his eyes. He was awoken at dawn by his agent’s call. He remained speechless as he announced the worst possible news for Marco: his homosexuality was out in public.

He didn’t know what went wrong the night before. He was out with his boyfriend, just like they had done so many times in the past years. They did everything exactly the same, careful not to seem more than two good friends. They avoided every physical contact, and still, Marco now saw photos of them kissing in front of his house. At least they were tactful enough to blur his boyfriend’s face. No wonder, he was no one, at least in the eyes of the public.

Marco never felt more vulnerable in his life, as he saw such an intrusion on his privacy. So far, the pictures were ‘only’ on the web and his management had succeeded before to get down unwanted photos, but this was different. Marco knew that the snapshots would be covering the front pages of all the newspapers. This news was big; very big.

He sent a message to his love: _Check Bild. Talk 2 u later._ He was unable to have a reasonable thought. His career, his whole life was at stake. Things had changed a lot in football, but somehow Marco felt that homosexuality was still something that shouldn’t have been talked about. In a sport that is run by money, there’s no place for sympathy or politic movements. He was doubtless about his teammates’ reaction: they would reassure him, but Marco couldn’t believe that all of it would be sincere and not just posing for the press.

His phone rang. He checked the display and dropped the phone when he saw the three letters that on another day would make his heart skip a beat. He couldn’t talk to anyone right now, least to his boyfriend. His mind was racing, a new thought emerging before he could even formulate the one before. He let the cell ring for nearly a minute, before it finally went mute. Marco sighed. It would take only an hour before he needed a smaller call center to put through everyone that wanted to talk to him. He grabbed his phone to write another message to the same person. _I can’t talk right now, but don’t worry. I need to know what’s next for me first. Love u._

It was so hollow. Of course he wasn’t alright. He was about to face the biggest storm of his life, and he had no idea what he should do. And in the middle of his desperation, his phone rang again. This time though, it was his agent.

“Hello?” Marco answered with trembling voice.

“Marco! It’s madness, what’s going on! I’ve talked to a few team officials, and we’re having a press conference at noon. I’m on my way to Dortmund. Stay at home, don’t go outside and don’t do anything stupid! Do you hear me?” First Marco only nodded and when he realized his agent couldn’t see him, he uttered a faint yes. “Good. The next few weeks will be extra hard, Marco, I don’t want to lie to you. But I will do everything in my power to get you through this, alright? And I need you to do exactly what I tell you.”

Marco took a deep breath. He was relieved a bit. For the first time, he realized that maybe he didn’t have to face everything alone, that there would be some by his side, instructing him and helping him.

“Don’t answer to anyone. No reporters, no interviews, don’t even talk to your friends or teammates. We’re a few steps behind so we must be careful what we do. It’s a matter of life and death, I hope you know that.”

“I fucking get it!” Marco exclaimed, raw anger in his voice. He was the one that knew the most of all what exactly was at stake; he didn’t need anyone to remind him. He hated the whole world: the society for being so hostile, the reporters for being the parasites they were.

“Why didn’t you tell me, Marco?” His agent asked him, still taken aback by Marco’s words. “We could have figured out a way to be ready for such situations. Didn’t you trust me?”

“It’s not that. But I thought it was for the best if no one knew. And now the whole world does.”

“Calm down, Marco. Whatever happened, happened. There’s no point in brooding over the past. Don’t blame yourself, don’t speculate about the future; we will deal with problems as they arise. I’ve got a good feeling that we might come quite well out of this.” He calmed him and while Marco was grateful for constantly referring to _them_ instead of _him_ , he was aware of the fact that it was only he that had something to fear for. Not just something, _everything_.

“Can’t we deny this somehow?” Marco tried.

“No, Marco. It would ruin your public image even more. You wouldn’t only be a gay footballer, but one that is ashamed of it. We must try to get you accepted. It’s a big story, everyone will cover it.”

“Great.” Marco noted sarcastically.

“Maybe we can use publicity for our purposes. But first, I have to ask you something and you won’t be happy. Is he famous?”

“No.” Marco answered barely audibly. “He’s just an average man.”

“That’s good news. Very good. I’ll need to talk to him too.”

“Alright.” Marco sighed resigned.

“Okay, that’s it for now. Try to relax a bit, Marco. I’ll call you when I’m in Dortmund.”

He hung up without saying goodbye and Marco was left alone with his thoughts. So far he had only worried about his own career, but it was news that could ruin both their lives. Being the boyfriend of an openly gay football star couldn’t have been much easier than being that star itself. It didn’t take long before his phone rang again and Jürgen Klopp’s name appeared on the display.

“Trainer, I’m really sorry for what had happened. I had no idea there were reporters nearby. I didn’t want to cause any trouble and I can understand if you don’t want me on the team anymore.” He rattled.

“Chill out, Marco.” His coach started. “I’m just calling you to let you know that I’m picking you up in fifteen minutes. Get ready, we will go to training.”

And he already hung up. Marco was in awe. What was going on? Kloppo didn’t accept his apology, that’s one thing. But he mentioned training. Was he really thinking that they could continue pretending that nothing had happened? He knew his coach, he was pretty open-minded and Marco knew he could have done anything in his spare time as long as it didn’t affect his playing. But Kloppo was also a bit naïve. He believed that everyone was as accepting as him. Sure, things would have been easier that way.

Marco had no right and no strength to question his orders, though. He got dressed and packed a few things to his training bag. He sat down in his living room and buried his face in his hands. His agent had warned him about thinking about the future, but he couldn’t help it: his mind returned to his chances over and over again. His career was over. That one he knew for sure. No team would want a gay player, so the prospect of a transfer was gone, and he would be lucky to be able to stay at Dortmund. But there was also the national team and that troubled him more. There had been campaigns going on against racism and discrimination, but Marco had never known how much these were true. He personally knew players that had spoken up for tolerance, while hating their teammates of other colors. What would they do if they felt their own sexuality threatened by that teammate?

Once he read that the worst fear is the fear of the unknown, and he had to admit that whoever said that, was right. It was all so damned complicated, the worst possible scenario. If only he had had to face something that he could imagine. An injury? Fine, bad news, but at least he would have gotten a date for his return to look forward to. A suspension? A similar case. But this was something without precedent and the sheer terror was eating him from the inside out.

By the time Jürgen Klopp arrived at his house, there were already a few reporters gathering in the street. They started off the coach’s way when they noticed him, but he kept them away with a hostile look. It worked for the time being, but it couldn’t stall off uncomfortable questions forever. Marco jumped up from his couch as his doorbell rang and rushed to the front door to open it, careful not to be seen by the photographers lying in wait for a shot of him.

“Hello, Marco!” Kloppo greeted him in the most casual manner.

“I don’t know what to say, trainer. I screwed up. I’m so sorry I disappointed you and the club. I didn’t mean to–”

“Stop before you even start.” The coach silenced him with a simple wave of his hand. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Marco. You’re still the same person in my eyes, the developments change nothing. Well, as long as they don’t affect you, that is.”

“What? I don’t understand.” Marco stammered.

“You’re still our best player; I won’t dispose of you because you happen to be in love with another guy, if that’s what you worry about.” Kloppo explained offended by the mere thought of him being a man that would think in such a way.

“That’s nice, but what about the team?”

“You must have misjudged us if you think that any of us would care. I guarantee it. If someone has a problem with you, well, the door is open; they can go and find another team for themselves.” His words warmed Marco’s heart. He hadn’t expected such a support from his coach.

“Thank you.” He muttered under his breath.

“Don’t thank me. It’s the least I can do. You’re still going to have a hell of a bad time. But I won’t accept any excuses if your performance level drops.” He turned all professional again. “Now, is there any other way out of your house?”

“Well, I can jump over the fence in the backyard; I’d get to an alley.”

“Great, you go there and I’ll wait for you. So these vultures will think that you’re not joining team training today.”

Three minutes later Marco was sitting in Klopp’s car in the passenger seat. The coach didn’t say much, he was concentrating on the traffic. Marco was grateful to him; if it wasn’t for Kloppo, he would have still been lying curled up on his bed, damning his bad fortune. Instead of that, now he had something to look forward to.

“We’re having a team meeting about the news. You don’t have to take part if you don’t want to.” He didn’t even turn to Marco.

“No.” The midfielder sighed. “I don’t want to run away from difficulties. I should be there when they learn about me.”

“That’s great composure and very responsible.”

“Can I ask you something, trainer?” Marco started, looking at the bearded man, who nodded. “Did you know? I mean, you didn’t question the authenticity of those photos.”

“I didn’t know for sure, but I’ve had a very strong suspicion. I know you all more than you’d think.”

“And why do you stand by me?” Marco asked the question that had been in his mind ever since his coach’s call.

“All these years at Dortmund, we’ve been building a team based on acceptance and love; just like a family. I would betray all that if I didn’t support you now.”

“And what about the board?”

“Well, that will be tougher, especially with the investors. But don’t worry about Achi. He will do everything for you. And if I were you, I wouldn’t care about my orientation. You’re a pro footballer, and that’s what you need to remain. You’ll get a lot of requests to be the face of various campaigns or the spokesperson for certain movements. Don’t accept them. Just be you and it will do much more than any pointless phrase that you repeat over and over again.”

“Thank you.” Marco nodded, chewing on Klopp’s words.

They arrived at the training ground ten minutes later. Marco saw the cars of a few of his teammates’ and involuntarily he thought about whether they already knew. They first went to the office of Hans-Joachim Watzke and the CEO reassured Marco. He was grateful and appreciated the effort. It seemed that everyone wanted to get him out of his melancholy. Maybe they were right and it was the only way to live through all this.

They left for the big conference room ten minutes later. Marco could hear the buzz of the whole squad through the closed door. They stopped and Klopp asked him whether he was ready. They entered only after he managed a faint nod. He could immediately see all eyes focused on him. They knew. Or was it just his imagination playing with him? After all, no matter who would come in with their coach, he would get some questioning glances. But this was different. Marco could feel all strength leaving his legs, which were now trembling. He quickly sat down before he would have fainted.

“You know me: I’m not a man of great words.” Klopp started the speech that was going to be the most important of his career. “I don’t know whether you saw the front page of the Bild or not. They publicized a few photos of Marco– kissing with his boyfriend.” He made a pause before the last word, which was followed by sudden murmurs. If bones could break because of people looking at you, Marco wouldn’t have had a single unscathed one left in his body.

“Now, that doesn’t make us the first team to have a gay footballer in their squad, but Marco’s sexuality will be a public topic for the upcoming we– days. I want to make myself clear that I won’t tolerate anything like that within the team. We have never intruded into anyone’s private life and I don’t want anyone to change this practice. Marco is one of our bests, a friend to a lot of you, and nothing should change that. I won’t put up with any homophobic comments, you can think whatever you want, but keep it to yourself. If it’s too much to ask for, well– the world is big enough, I’m sure you can find other teams.” He emphasized his words with a serious look. “Marco, do you want to say something?”

Marco shook his head. He was overwhelmed by the support his coach showed. Even if he wanted to say something, he couldn’t have.

“Okay, so if any of you fears for his ass from Marco, he does rightly so, because _I_ will kick it very hard. You’re not going to talk to the press about it, unless you say the next sentence exactly: I don’t care about anyone’s sexual orientation and I don’t think it should be a debate for the public. Everything’s clear?”

Marco could only guess that the whole squad nodded in unison, since he was sitting in the first row of chairs. If Klopp was ever good at something, it was making himself clear. He was a great motivator and Marco could feel courage gathering in his veins. For the first time that day, he thought that maybe, with help from his team, he could weather the storm.

But of course, their coach couldn’t be always next to him. And the moment Klopp signalized that he’s finished and started off towards the door, the distress returned. It was dread that took over Marco. He hung his head low, wishing he could vanish from the face of Earth. Klopp sent him a reassuring look before he left the room, but it did no good. Marco just sat there, waiting for the waves of hate from his teammates.

But the outburst didn’t come; instead, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He lifted his head and slightly turned around, to face Mats. The defender smiled at him, his face an island of tranquility.

“It’s okay.” He whispered as he stood up and turned toward their teammates. “Is there anyone who’d like to disagree with Kloppo’s words? Great! Now I fully expect you to support Marco through what will be the hardest time of his life.”

He spoke like a true captain, but Marco couldn’t listen to him. He stood up with shaking legs and looked at his friends who would never treat him the same way again.

“Thank you, Mats, but I’m not a freak, or at least I don’t want to think of myself as one. You know me; I’ve never wanted caring looks and encouraging pats. All I ask for is treating me normal. I know it’s not easy but please try.”

His voice broke and he slumped back on his chair, burying his face in his hands. He knew he was about to cry, and he didn’t want anyone to see him that way. He quickly got up and rushed out of the room. Once the door fell shut behind him, he gave way to his tears that started to flow, falling freely on the carpet, leaving behind a trail of wet spots. Marco ran straight to the restroom, locking himself in a stall. He leant against the wall, and slid down to the floor, wrapping his arms around his legs, resting his forehead against his knees.

Previously he had been grateful to Klopp for dragging him out of his house, but now he thought that facing his teammates was too much. And these were his friends, his brothers-in-arms, those who he could trust. They didn’t even give him a reason to feel hated. What was he going to do about the public’s reaction?

He wasn’t left alone with his thoughts for a long time. Someone else entered the restroom, headed directly towards Marco’s stall, trying to get inside.

“Marco, let me in!” Mats demanded.

“No, I’m fine. I just need some time alone.” Marco said with a shaking voice.

“Bullshit, Marco!” Mats cried out, smashing the stall’s door. “Open the fucking door!”

As much as Marco wanted to be left alone, he couldn’t ignore the desperate worry in Mats’s voice. He reached for the lock and switched it. The defender tore the door open immediately, grabbing Marco by his shoulders and pulling him up, which surprised the midfielder. Their captain was shaking with anger and fear.

“What were you doing there?” He was still shouting.

“Nothing.” Marco answered confused. What was Mats thinking?

“Are you sure? You didn’t want to do anything stupid?” And Marco finally got it.

“Jesus, Mats! I won’t kill myself!” He tried to sound as convincing as possible, but he would have been lying if he had said the thought hadn’t crossed his mind when he had seen the photos on the web. But he was brought up to endure every hardship and face every challenge with a will to fight.

“Good.” Mats finally let go of him. “I’m sorry but you looked like a complete wreck when you left the room and I couldn’t help but think of the worst. Hey, listen, I’ve spoken with the guys and they promised they would not bring up, well–”

“Me being a faggot.” Marco finished the sentence for him. Mats looked at him not believing his ears. “Of course they said so, but do you really think they will act like nothing had happened? Nothing ever will be the same, Mats!” He whined, his face distorted by pain. Mats had never seen him like this; even the worst injury couldn’t bring such reaction out of him.

“You’re right. But give them a chance, trust them. And if anyone abuses you, you tell me, alright? And then they can look for another team, just like Kloppo said.”

“That’s all nice!” Marco faked a smile. “But who do you think would have to go? Me or five players? It’s all nice that you support me, but no one’s career is threatened but mine.”

“Stop thinking like that! You won’t get any insults from other players or our fans and who cares about douchebags that only know how to hate? They despise us anyway. So don’t pretend that your life is already pointless!” Mats would have kept going on, but Marco’s phone rang with his boyfriend’s name on the display.

“Yeah?” Marco answered casually. “Yes, I’m fine.– They will have a press conference.– At noon.– No, they’ve been supportive.– Me neither.– You can pick me up after training.– Me too.” He hung up with a faint grin on his face.

“I hope he’s worth of all this.” Mats smiled at him.

“He is.” Marco answered with lifted spirits. He wasn’t fighting only for himself, and his love was definitely someone to risk everything for.

They had been together for nearly two years and Marco had to do his best to conceal their relationship. They had met after a game where Marco performed under average and he felt like getting drunk to forget his disappointment. He went to his favorite place that was secluded, but not so much that his presence caused a sensation. When he arrived, he got the usual encouraging words and congratulations. He sat down into a box in the corner, buried in his thoughts. And then a guy with shoulder length black hair stopped by him with two glasses of beer.

“Can I sit down?” He asked and Marco nodded. He earned a lot of money, but it was always nice to get a free drink, especially if he’d get a few compliments gratis. But what the young man had to say shocked him completely. “Pretty shitty game today, huh? I mean– for you. The team performed quite okay.”

“What?” He exclaimed offended.

“Don’t get me wrong, I like your style but it must be said: you were bad today.”

Marco was completely taken aback. He looked at the stranger with a dropped jaw. It was the first time that an outsider criticized him openly face to face. Others usually played the role of the fan with unconditional support. It was a new experience for Marco, but surprisingly he loved it.

“Oh really? Tell me more about it.” He said teasingly.

“Let’s take the attack in the 27th minute for example–” He started and from then he went on to make a nearly half hour long explanation of the weaknesses of Marco’s play, not forgetting the positives of his performance. The midfielder was astounded. That brazen boy was right, that was beyond dispute. But his analysis was so thorough and to the point that even Kloppo would have envied it.

“Wow, how do you know so much about tactics and football in overall?”

“You know, lot of matches and analysis watched, I’ve read a few books and played a lot of Football Manager.” Marco couldn’t help it, but burst out laughing. It’s not that he had anything against video games, but he would have never imagined that they could teach you so many things.

They spoke through the whole night, right until closing time. Just after they said goodbye, Marco realized he forgot to ask for his phone number. He really wanted to talk to him again. He turned around to call after him, but the other one already disappeared. The next days he returned to the pub, living a very exhausting double life, which he eventually gave up after a week.

He started to search for the gifted stranger on the Internet, thinking that he was a journalist for a football magazine, but his efforts remained fruitless. He then decided to approach the problem with his brain. Maybe _he_ would search for Marco, if he made an error on the pitch. So in the dying minutes of the next home game, he deliberately awarded the ball to the opponent over and over again. It was the first time he had ever done that and he swore that it would be the only time. But he had to try. He almost lost his hope again when he didn’t turn up. And then, just before the pub closed, he heard a familiar voice from behind.

“What were you thinking those last minutes?”

“It was bait and it seems to have worked.” Marco spun around with a maybe unnecessarily wide grin.

“And why did you need to lure me here?” He sat down opposite Marco without asking for permission that he would have gotten anyway.

“First of all, to get your name. I’ve been looking for you for two weeks, but no sports portal had information about you.”

“I’m Seb. And no wonder you didn’t find me on those we-know-everything pages.”

“You’re not telling me that you don’t make your living by writing about football, right?”

“No, I do write, but for a slightly smaller page.” He grabbed his phone and started to open something on it. “But I do a lot of other things to get money.”

He seemed to finally find what he was looking for, showing Marco his phone. A blog was open, full of articles about football. Marco scrolled through them; they were match reports from different leagues all over Europe. It looked like Seb knew something about every team; at least Marco got that impression as he read a few lines.

“That’s impressive!” He nodded in awe. “But it’s a no name page. You could do so much better than that.”

“Thank you. That was a bit rude, but thank you. I’ll take it as constructive criticism to the editor.”

“Is this your blog?” Marco was even more shocked. He was clueless about computers and everything beyond his skills was a miracle.

“Yep. So Mr. Reus, have you gotten all your answers?” Was he just teasing him, or directly making fun of him?

“Well, I hoped I could get your phone number.” He muttered under his breath, embarrassed.

“Since you already have my phone, why don’t _you_ give me yours?” Seb answered with a huge smile on his face.

From then on, everything took its own way. They started to meet regularly, but mostly they talked about football: Seb giving Marco his critical notes, and getting insider views of the game in exchange. It was incredible how much they learnt from each other, but what Marco really loved, was the way Seb talked to him. He didn’t see Marco Reus, the star player, but Marco Reus, the person.

They formed a friendship very soon and Seb invited Marco for a concert of his band. The midfielder was shocked, he had never talked about playing on guitar before, and Marco wasn’t a fan of rock music, but he couldn’t say no. He bought a few dark clothes especially for this occasion and went to see them in the pub they had met for the first time.

It was amazing. The way Seb played was unbelievable; Marco had never thought such sounds could be made with a guitar. And when he considered the amount of alcohol the guy had drunk before the concert, it all looked impossible.

“Did you like it?” Seb slumped down next to him. Marco was a VIP guest, sharing a box with the band.

“Did I like it? It was astonishing! But tell me, how the hell can you play drunk?”

“Come on, I think you could do the same with football.” He was right. Once in his teenage years Marco was so drunk that he could barely stand, and yet, when someone gave him a ball, he could do the wildest tricks.

“And how come that such a gifted guitarist like you doesn’t have fangirls all around him?”

“The same reason you don’t see them around Rob Halford.” Seb said casually, already starting a conversation with their bass guitarist.

Marco had to do a Google search to get what exactly he had meant. And he was left speechless again; Seb had demonstrated the subtlest coming out in history. Marco didn’t know what the right reaction to such news was, but he was sure _his_ wasn’t considered normal. He felt– relieved. All the emotions he felt towards Seb suddenly emerged and took over him. He had fallen in love with the guy much earlier, but he suppressed his feelings like he had done for his whole life. Being gay and being a footballer don’t usually work together. He had to choose one. And up to that point he had been sure that he had made the right decision.

But Seb changed everything. Marco was sitting in his dark room, his mind rushing, trying to stop his heart from pushing him into a big mistake, but it was hopeless. He knew that slowly but surely he was walking into Seb’s arms. Or he would hit a wall. But there was only one way to find out.

He spent days brooding over the possibilities, without talking to the reason behind his distress. He loved Seb and he could barely control his feelings. But what about him? Did the self-determining man love him back? He had enough of guessing. One day he grabbed his coat and went to see Seb. Just when he opened the door, Marco barged in.

“Glad to see that you haven’t forgotten me.” Seb noted sarcastically.

“How could I?”

“Well, people tend to do that when they find out you’re gay.”

“That’s why I never tell anyone.” Marco said, surprised by his own confidence.

“What?” Seb stammered. It was the first time Marco saw him taken aback.

“You heard me. I couldn’t be happier that you’re gay. As strange as it sounds.”

“Is this some kind of love confession?”

“Only if it’s requited.”

For hours Marco tried to persuade him that they should try dating each other, that it would work out and he could keep it secret. Seb was aware of the risk Marco would take with him, and he did everything to talk him out of doing it. Not because he didn’t love him back or he didn’t want him as much as the midfielder wanted him; he was crazy about Marco, that’s why he didn’t want him to risk his career. That was the worst part of being other than ‘normal’. Marco finally gave up the talking and pressed his lips against Seb’s. It was a horrible first kiss, but they could still feel the sparkles between them and it washed away the last bits of objection in Seb (truth to be told, he reasoned with ‘it can only get better’).

And that was it: they were a couple, but they had no idea what they could and couldn’t do. So for the most, they kept doing the same things they had done earlier, this time with lots of kissing and cuddling. Marco liked it, but their flats got boring very quickly, so they decided to go out now and then, of course taking care what they did and avoiding all the popular places. It was awkward at first, but somehow they got into it, and posing became natural to them. It wasn’t ideal, but was definitely better than nothing. But most importantly, it worked; at least until that night.


	2. The Press Conference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My name’s Marco Reus, I’m a football player– and I’m gay.”

Training was better and worse than Marco had expected. They practiced behind closed doors, without any reporters present and Marco was very grateful for that. It was his teammates that made him remember that nothing was the same anymore. It’s not that they afflicted him, but Marco couldn’t ignore all the subtle things that had changed. First, he didn’t get as many balls during the training match and they left him out when they were improving their ball control. Then, in the breaks, he found himself alone, something that would have never happened earlier. But now, his teammates gathered up in smaller groups, trying to remain unsuspicious but finish talking whenever Marco looked at them.

“Give them some time.” Mats reassured him when he noticed his anguish. “It’s not easy for them, either. It will get better, you’ll see.”

Marco nodded, rather to slough the defender off, than because he believed his words. He knew the captain meant good, but all his efforts of lifting Marco’s spirits only added to his suffering, reminding him of the hard times he was going to face. He couldn’t really concentrate on anything else, resulting in the worst training session of his career (and who knew, maybe he wasn’t going to have much more). Klopp saw him struggling, and after an hour he decided it was the best if he took a rest.

“That’s enough for today, Marco. There’s too much on your mind, and I don’t blame you. There’s no use in you pushing your limits. Your agent will be here anytime; I guess you want to meet him.”

“Okay.” Marco remarked sourly.

“It’s alright, Marco. Don’t be too hard on you. You need time and that’s only natural.” The coach embraced him before he sent him off.

Marco started to walk towards the team’s building, anger piling up in him and he let it out by kicking into the perimeter board that produced a big bang. He could feel all eyes fixated on him, before he heard Klopp instruct everyone to continue.

He rushed to the lockers, nearly knocking over his agent who called after him, but Marco didn’t stop to answer him. Once he was in the familiar room, he slumped down on the bench. Why was he even trying? How could he believe that he stood a chance? It was all pointless. He checked his mobile; he had more than a hundred unanswered calls from his relatives and friends, half of them from his mother. He quickly dialed her number. He was in no mood to talk to anyone, but he had to reassure her.

“Marco! I was so worried about you! How are you doing, darling?” She asked relieved.

“I’m fine, Mom. It’s not easy, but I’m dealing with it.”

“You won’t fool me. How bad is it?”

“Very.” He sighed. Somehow it helped him to admit the truth and finally be honest with someone, despite the harshness of reality. “I don’t think I can stand it anymore.”

“Shhh. What’s wrong? Did your friends hurt you? Or was it the trainer?”

“No, they are doing their best. But I feel so powerless and it’s killing me.”

“Darling, we are all powerless in this situation, but you have to remember that we are here for you.”

“Thank you, Mom. How are you? I hope they left you alone.”

“Oh, there were a few journalists, but they vanished when your father mentioned the police to them. Don’t worry about us. Stay strong!”

“I will. Could you please tell the others that I’m fine? I have a lot to do right now, and–”

“Of course, Marco. Do everything you have to.”

“Sorry for dragging you into this.”

“Don’t you think about that! You know we’ve never had any problems accepting who you were and that won’t change a bit. I’m proud of you, Marco.” He could hear that she was holding back her tears.

“I’ve got to go now, but I’ll call you as soon as I can. Bye, Mom.”

He hung up and maybe he was being rude, but he couldn’t listen to her any longer. She was full of worry, all because of him and Marco couldn’t stand it. His agent entered the room and Marco looked at him. He was exhausted, and his day was only beginning.

“How are you, Marco?” Again that question.

“I’ve had better days. How does it look like outside?”

“Like a thunderstorm. But we’ll get through it. Hey, we managed to agree with Bild. They won’t publish the unedited photos, so for the time being no one will know who you’re seeing. I thought you wanted to know.”

“Thank you.” Knowing that he could protect Seb indeed helped. “What do they want in return?”

“Your first interview after all this. I know it doesn’t sound good, but we had to accept it.” He explained and Marco nodded. He had no strength to argue. “How does it look like in here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I don’t want to sound harsh, but my job is to represent you. If there are any insults from the team’s side, I have to know.”

“There’s nothing going on like that!” Marco burst out. “God, how can you even think of it?” He was surprised that he stood up for his teammates, when just minutes earlier he was disgusted about their behavior.

“I’m sorry, Marco, I’m only doing my job. And you’ll have to answer more uncomfortable questions before I’m done, so why don’t we continue?” He asked in his usual calm manner. Marco didn’t say anything so he went on talking. “First, I want to know about your former relationships. The journalists will leave no stone unturned and I don’t want to face any more surprises. So tell me, were you dating any guys I should know about?”

“No.” Marco answered firmly.

“Are you sure? Celebrities? Other players?”

“I said no!” Marco was annoyed. “If I had had affairs, don’t you think I’d know about them?”

“Calm down, Marco.” He waved his hands in defense. “I just want to hear the complete truth.”

“Oh, you’re interested in the truth! Then you’ll be happy to hear that I have never had a true relationship ever since my professional career started.” His passion ran out by the time he finished; it was horrible to say it and face everything that he had given up to live his dream. All for nothing.

“I didn’t mean to intrude your privacy. But it’s a special situation and you have to cooperate.”

“Trust me: Seb is the first guy in my life for a very long time.”

“Oh, his name is Seb.” He suddenly turned very interested and friendly. “Tell me more about him. Like what does he work, how long have you been together? Have you made any photos or videos that might be leaked and put you into– hm, uncomfortable situation?” He sat down next to Marco, striking a reassuring and encouraging pose.

“I can’t believe you!” Marco exclaimed and sprung up. “You have no right to ask all this!”

“I’m sorry to tell you this, but I do.” He stood up too and looked at Marco menacingly. “I’m your agent. It’s my job to ask you everything necessary.”

“Well, that can be solved very easily.” Marco put on a sarcastic smile. “You’re fired!”

“You don’t know what you’re saying, Marco! It’s a hard time, and you can’t think rationally. That’s why you should tell me everything and let _me_ handle this. I’m here to help. I’m your friend, not your enemy.”

“And you’re fired.” Marco repeated calmly.

“Listen, you smartass!” He got offensive again. “I don’t think you understand the mess you are in: one misstep and you’re finished. Your career can be over in the next minutes. This news puts the club into a very unfortunate situation and _you_ might be the one that gets fired. And they might sue you for breaking your contract by causing them bad publicity and financial loss. How would you like that, huh?”

“They would never do that!” Marco was still shouting.

“Who told you that? Klopp? Watzke? Of course they’d say so. But at the end of the day, all he cares about is profit and financial figures. You’re just another player of theirs, nothing more. They don’t care about you, Marco. I do.”

“Get out.” Marco hissed with big pause.

“I’ll take that you don’t want me to take part in today’s press conference, then.” He said resigned. “But if you take my advice, you don’t go there either. The reporters will eat you alive.”

He turned around and walked out of the room. Marco stared after him, slowly realizing what had happened. He had someone by his side and he got rid of him in seconds. He had to do so much better if he was going to get out of it all the best possible way. He sighed and decided to take a cold shower. Maybe it would help him cool down his nerves and starting to have normal thoughts.

But he was wrong. Just when he stepped into the stall, he realized why Klopp had sent him away before everyone else. In light of the recent developments his presence with the team in the shower wasn’t desirable. He was full of sorrow again and it clenched his heart. He finished and got dressed in record time. He grabbed his phone and headed to the roof where he would find the privacy he needed. He rushed past his teammates, who were returning from their morning training session. He heard Mats calling after him, but he ignored the defender. He felt betrayed. He would have never thought that things could change so rapidly. One day he was the center of all attention, and a day later he was the one despised by everyone.

The fresh air helped him calm down a bit. He took some deep breaths and evaluated his position. In a few minutes he had to face the press and the whole world was going to listen to his words. He didn’t have an agent who would stand up for his interests. And he was in a team whose management supported him, but whose squad didn’t know what to do about the news. Not the best prospects. And in the middle of all this, he had only one person on his mind, who could solace him and give him useful advice.

“Hello.” He greeted when Seb answered his call.

“Marco! It’s so good to hear from you. How are you doing?”

“I feel like shit, Seb!” He whined. “What will I say to the world?”

“Why don’t you let your agent worry about that?”

“Because I don’t have one.”

“What?” Seb couldn’t hide his surprise.

“I sent him away. I don’t even know, why.”

“Then call him, apologize and let him worry about the press.” How typical of Seb. Always looking forward, drifting with the current and hoping things would turn out alright. Amazingly, with him, they usually did. If only Marco could be like Seb.

“I can’t do that.”

“Have you lost his number, did he lose his phone or did he die?”

“No.” Seb’s words put a small smile on Marco’s face. “But I’ve said some things that are past cure.”

“Great news.” Seb sighed. “So what are you planning to do?”

“I have no idea. What should I do?”

“How will the club address the problem?”

“I don’t know.” Marco was getting annoyed. Every single time _he_ had to answer all the questions.

“Find it out and we’ll talk then. But really, how are you?” It was the first time Marco could hear the worry in Seb’s voice.

“I guess it could be worse. The guys ignore me, Mats is getting over-caring, Kloppo wants me to carry on training like nothing had happened, and no one cares about what I want. Which is kind of gracious, since I don’t really know what I want.”

“Well, that’s shitty!” Seb ascertained. “What are you doing after training? Can I come over?”

“I don’t think you’ll be able to get there through all the photographers.” Marco said dryly.

“Okay, then I’ll pick you up after training. And let me care about everything else.” Seb rattled, putting his wit to use. “And call me when you agreed on a common statement.”

He hung up before Marco could say anything. What was wrong with him? Didn’t he realize what Marco was facing? No, that couldn’t be the case. From the two of them, Seb was the smarter one, who always understood things one step earlier than Marco. On the other hand, Marco was the more responsible. Seb would usually do something stupid, not caring about the consequences; he was easygoing, maybe a bit too much. It had to be so this time too; he probably decided to ignore the storm that surrounded them and pretend that everything was normal. Except, it wasn’t.

Marco sighed when he saw the first reporters arriving to the media event of the day/week/month/year/who knows. He went down the stairs to the common room. He felt all eyes fixated on him the moment he stepped over the threshold. He took a deep breath and looked at Mats, not taking his eyes off him until he walked over to him.

“Do you know where Kloppo is?”

“He was looking for you. I guess you can catch him in the hallway.”

Marco didn’t answer, he rushed out of the room; his presence was getting uncomfortable. Mats was right, after a minute he found their coach.

“Marco, where the hell have you been? And where’s your agent? We’re having the press conference in ten minutes!”

“I don’t have an agent.” Marco answered simply.

“Oh. Was it because of your– you know?” Marco had never seen Klopp so uneasy.

“No, I just felt we shouldn’t work together anymore.”

“I see. Well, it will be Achi and me doing the PC, then.”

“I want to be there.” Marco mustered all his courage.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to. Give it some time.”

“I don’t think things will be easier for me, no matter how long I wait. I guess I should get it over with. The sooner the better.”

“Okay, but whenever you want to leave, you leave. I don’t want any heroics that would make a total wreck out of you.” He determined some rules.

“I promise.” Marco nodded. “But what should I say? I mean– I don’t want to go against the statement of the club.”

“It’s up to you. We will only tell the world that we are okay with your sexual orientation and that you will get no special treatment: nor positive, nor negative. Anything else is totally your choice. I’ll see you before the press room in five minutes.” He turned around suddenly and left Marco behind.

The midfielder reached for his phone immediately and redialed the last called number.

“What’s up?” Came the casual answer from the familiar voice.

“They’re going to state that it is no big deal, everything will stay the way it is.”

“So they’re not gonna risk anything. Wise decision.”

“Easy for them. I’m risking everything. God, I don’t even think I should do that press conference!” Marco sighed.

“You have to! Otherwise it would look like you’re ashamed of your homosexuality, which you are not, right?” The question was followed by silence. “Admit it! And be normal about it – no embarrassment and no excessive pride.”

“And what about you? Should I tell them about us? Or should I say it was a hook-up only?”

“How dare you, Marco Reus?” Seb exclaimed jokingly. “You would deny our romance so easily? I feel offended!”

“Seb, I’m in no mood for your acting! I don’t have much time!”

“If they ask you about it and you’re ready to show up with me as your boyfriend in public, tell them that you’re in a relationship. But please, don’t tell them my name. I don’t want to be the daily sensation! I don’t want them to learn about us in this way. And now hurry, you don’t have much time.” He added mockingly.

Marco was left in doubt. Was Seb really hurt or did he just play his stupid game? And what about what he had said? Was he ready to show up with his boyfriend? Of course it would be easier to do so, if the public knew. But still, there’s big difference between a gay player and a gay player in a relationship. Somehow, he thought that Seb would make his homosexuality more real, more tangible.

On the other hand, it was already out in public, so why conceal it any longer? They wanted to be together so much when they had to keep it secret for their own (but mostly Marco’s) sake, so why shouldn’t they go on when they could finally kiss each other whenever and wherever? It should have been such an easy decision, but Marco couldn’t make up his mind. He was afraid that publicity would take out the excitement from their relationship. And one thing he knew for sure: he wanted to be with Seb.

He walked towards the media room with robotic steps, not present in his mind. He joined Klopp, Watzke and the club’s press spokesman before the wide doors that separated him from the world’s observing eyes. They all gave him encouraging smiles, but he barely noticed. All he could think of was the hungry reporters and the growing feeling of nausea.

“Everything’s fine?” Watzke asked him and Marco nodded. “Then let’s go!”

The doors flung open and they were hit by what sounded like a clatter of at least two hundred people. It was the spokesman who moved first, closely followed by Watzke and Klopp, Marco ambling along. When they turned towards the cameras and sat down, they were nearly blinded by flashlights. Marco felt he was going to throw up, so he reached quickly for the jug and poured himself a glass of water. The room was packed with reporters. Probably there had never been such an interest for any of BVB’s previous press conferences. He tried to hide his anxiety and look normal, but all he managed was a deadpan face, which was still an improvement. Soon, the room went silent all awaiting impatiently the moment they started to talk.

“Good afternoon everyone and welcome to our press conference! A warm welcome goes to our CEO, _Herr_ Hans-Joachim Watzke, to our coach Jürgen Klopp and Marco Reus. First these three gentlemen have the opportunity to comment on today’s news and after that they will answer your questions.”

It was the usual text and it made Marco a bit more comfortable. For a moment he felt like he was at an average press conference. But then, the reality slipped back to his mind.

“Marco, I think you should start.” Klopp bent over to him.

“Yes, um–” Not a good start. If his agent were there he would have told him what to say. But he was on his way away from Dortmund and Marco was panicking. “I’m– My–” _Come on, say something!_ , he thought. He sighed and started over. “My name’s Marco Reus, I’m a football player– and I’m gay.” It wasn’t perfect, but at least it was out. “I’m making this announcement in reaction to the shots of me published today. I feel like it is the right thing to do and I’m happy to finally be able to say it publicly. I’d like to emphasis that in the past I haven’t talked about it because I considered it part of my private life and something that had nothing to do with the public. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of my orientation and I will never be. But I will continue to live by this rule concentrating on my career only and keeping the public strictly out of my private life.”

It was all he could say. Maybe later he would regret it, or wish he had said things otherwise, but it was all he could manage. Klopp sent him a reassuring smile and Watzke spoke up to get the attention away from Marco.

“Of course, at Borussia Dortmund we promote diversity and believe that hatred, discrimination and homophobia have no place in football and we will continue in this campaign. That means we will give Marco every support he needs and we will step up against any kind of assault or mistreatment he will face. I urge our supporters and everyone who loves this wonderful game to show their support and acceptance, so we will create a culture where no player should hide his true self in order to accomplish his dreams.”

It sounded so nice, but Marco doubted that it would be that simple. Maybe their own fans would speak up, but no other teams was going to join them and risk their stature because of this cause, let it be however good.

 “Now let’s get back to earth a little bit.” Kloppo started smiling. “Of course I can’t argue with Achi’s words, but that doesn’t mean that Marco will get special treatment from us. He will get as much time as he needs to cope with the negative effect of this public interest, but he is a professional and I expect him to get back to his form as soon as possible, and I offer him all our help. I also want to ask our fans to keep supporting him, he is one of our bests after all and nothing will change that. Anyone who wants to value him based on his sexual orientation and not his performances, should start looking for other team to support, because I personally – but I think I’m speaking on behalf of everyone in this team when I say this – don’t want supporters like that.”

It was straightforward, harsh and honest. Again, Klopp managed to warm Marco’s heart and find his courage. He felt full of power and will, but it had to come from his last reserves and he wondered when he would run out of them.

“Thank you.” The spokesman adopted the role of the anchorman. “It’s time for your questions, and I would like you to ask the player first. And please accept that the team is having another training session in the afternoon so probably we won’t be able to answer all your questions. Before you ask anything, please state your name and the newspaper you work for.”

Suddenly dozens of hands flew up in the air and Marco got sick by only looking at them. The microphone wandered to a stubbly man in his mid-30s that he knew. He was from Kicker, so at least he was getting a professional question first.

“Lothar Roth, Kicker. Marco, I’d like to know what do you think, how will this news affect your career? Are you afraid of the fans’ or your teammates’ reaction?”

Well, _shit_! What was he supposed to answer to that? He didn’t really know what to expect from his life and his friends anymore. But he couldn’t stay silent forever.

“Um, yeah, I know that I am going to have some hard time, but I want to concentrate on my play and I hope that I will be able to keep my private life out of the pitch. As for the fans or fellow footballers– I don’t want to change anyone, my only wish is to continue playing and I hope that I can do that.”

“Beate Bremm, FAZ. There’s no question about your teammates knowing about your orientation now, but could you tell us if you told them earlier and if not, why? And also could you tell us how they reacted?”

“No, they are entitled to their opinion and I don’t want to talk about things that are internal to the team. As I’ve said, the most important thing to me is to keep playing and I know that my teammates will support me in that.” As he spoke it, he realized that he really believed it. “I didn’t come out to them earlier, but again, I have to say that it wasn’t because I felt embarrassed or I thought it was something to hide. Simply, I consider it my personal matter that no one needs to be concerned with.” Okay, this time he lied. He did conceal his homosexuality because he was afraid and tactful enough to know it could ruin his prospects.

“Elmar Maas, Männer. Of course this news is going to be followed by all major media. Do you want to maybe capitalize on that publicity and speak up for equality and against the discrimination of members of the LGBT community?”

“Not for now, I want to keep playing first, and that’s what I’ll be working for.”

“Your last question to the player, please.” The spokesman interrupted.

“Leni Schulz, Bild.” All blood left Marco’s head in a second. He was hoping he could avoid this particular paper, and they did their best to do so. “I’d like to ask you how long have you been in a relationship if you’ve been in any and also, are there any players that you talked to about your homosexuality?”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s any of your business.”

“And that’s it; you’re welcome to ask further questions to our coach. Marco, thank you for taking part in this press conference, but I think you should be going if you don’t want to be late from your training.” He smiled at him.

Marco got up, which was a great accomplishment, given that he didn’t think there was any strength in his legs. He trod carefully, watching his step, but even so he almost tripped and fell off the podium. Just as the doors closed behind him, he bent forward and threw up, emptying the contents of his stomach into a bin. His legs gave up and he collapsed to the floor, listening to the rest of the press conference. It was all so surreal: it was going to decide his further career and yet, he lacked the strength and the ability to affect it.

“Jürgen, despite what you said, you must admit that this isn’t a usual situation. Do you think that Marco should have warned you about his orientation, giving you time to prevent or at least get ready for this news?” The voice was muffled, but Marco still recognized the same reporter from Bild talking.

 “You know, the funny thing is that you’re questioning Marco’s morality, while it was your colleague who spied on him, making and publishing photos Marco had never agreed to, risking _his_ career, but that’s your way of thinking.” Marco could almost see Klopp raging with fury. His comment was greeted with loud murmur, and some even clapped. “No, Marco hasn’t told me that he’s gay, and I don’t think he should have. Just like I don’t talk to my players about their heterosexuality I won’t discuss anyone’s homosexuality. The only thing that matters to me is that they perform on the pitch. And that’s what everyone else should do in my opinion.”

Marco couldn’t listen to it anymore. He was touched by the way Klopp stood by him, but he didn’t want him to risk his own career for him, which he was doing nonetheless. Marco got up and stumbled into the nearest restroom, resting his head against the cold tiles. He was unable to think. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the blackness he saw. The only thing he wanted to do was retire, run away from the starving eyes of the public and never show up again. It would have been the easiest way, but he couldn’t choose it anymore. Not now, when the club committed itself on the issue.

He didn’t know how long he had been standing there, head against the wall. He didn’t even realize that someone walked next to him, so he was startled when he wrapped his arm around him.

“Marco, is everything alright?” He heard his coach’s voice, which had a bit more worry than what Marco was used to.

“Why are you doing this?” Marco looked at his confused face. “Get rid of me and we all gain.”

“Sure, like it would ever come through: Marco Reus fired because he’s gay. It would put us in a favorable position. The bomb has already exploded, Marco. I know you don’t think you have the strength to survive this, but you will. Trust me. It just needs time, eventually everything will get better. I’m sorry I might have been too hard on you. I thought that maybe if you went on like nothing had happened, it would help, but I now realize it was a mistake. Go home and take some rest, Marco. For a week, two weeks, as much as you need.”

“I don’t want to go home. I don’t even think I could get close because of the reporters.”

“Oh, I see. Then your parents’ house maybe? I guess you could use their support. But of course, my doors are open to you as well.”

“Thanks, but I don’t want to be a burden. I’m just going to stay here for a few hours, if it’s not a problem. I feel safer here.”

“Indeed, indeed. Whatever you feel right.” Klopp nodded. “I must go to training, but if there’s anything you need, you know where to find me.”

Marco waited for a few minutes before he peeped out of the restroom. The hallway was empty and dead silent. He stepped out warily and started off toward the common room. He lay down on a comfortable leather couch and picked out his phone from his pocket. At least another hundred missed calls and messages. He started to read through them, but gave up after a dozen. He got tired from seeing the same meaningless words over and over again. Instead, he scrolled through the list of those who tried to talk to him. Relatives, friends, fellow players, but nothing from the one Marco really wished to hear from. He sighed and was about to drop his cell, when it started to ring.

“Hello?” He picked up.

“You did pretty well. Voice trembling now and then, but it’s acceptable.”

“Fuck you, Seb! Just get here already! I’m getting sick of this place and all the worried looks.”

“I’m on my way, Marco, but I need to arrange something first. Give me like thirty more minutes, alright?”

“Okay, but hurry up!” Marco sighed and hung up immediately. Thirty minutes. It seemed like an eternity before they could meet finally. And until then, he only had the hope that in Seb’s arms all troubles would look smaller.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and the kudos you've left. As usual, you're welcome to share your thoughts.


	3. A Hard Day's Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but school started and I don't have as much time as I'd like to have. Also, I don't want to rush myself and end up with a horrible story (which doesn't mean that this couldn't have been better). I upload new chapters when I already have another one ready (or close to ready), so if anything would happen I could rely on that, and it actually hurt me to write the next chapter.  
> Anyway, I think I got carried away a bit, I guess I'm having a confidence crisis, so I should shut up finally. Enjoy this chapter and share your opinion (good or bad), because it keeps me going. :)

In the end, Seb called him back fifteen minutes later, announcing that he’s waiting for him before the building. Marco sprung up and ran down the stairs, nearly tripping over. He couldn’t believe Seb could get past the facility’s security, but he had surprised Marco earlier. And really, when he threw the door open, there he stood, leaning against his old car. Just like a high school boy waiting for his girlfriend, Marco noted and didn’t even mind that he had just thought of himself as someone’s girlfriend.

“How the hell did you get in here? They wouldn’t let _me_ in when I don’t have my pass.” He strode towards Seb.

“I have my own methods and you don’t want to know them.” Seb smiled in the way that Marco couldn’t resist.

He flung himself in Seb’s arms and the dark-haired caught him laughing. They looked into each other’s eyes; Seb’s were full of playfulness, just like always, but in Marco’s eyes the usual sign of affection was replaced by anxiety, hurt and pain. He had hoped that Seb’s arms would make every trouble vanish, but it didn’t happen. He stood on his tiptoe, trying to steal a kiss from Seb, but the other one pulled away from the contact.

“We shouldn’t do this.” He whispered simply.

“Why not? It’s not a secret anymore.” Marco smiled. He thought he understood Seb’s reaction. The first time he wanted to make the move, his instincts stopped him. They couldn’t erase years-long habits of carefulness in a moment.

“I know, but still– what if someone sees us? I mean, your teammates know you’re gay, that’s one thing. Maybe they even know that you have a boyfriend. But _seeing_ you with me wouldn’t help your acceptance.”

“Oh, just shut up finally!” Marco exclaimed and to make sure Seb did so, he pressed his lips against his. Seb played along immediately, deepening their kiss, breathing into Marco’s mouth, who groaned in response. “All day long I’ve been waiting for this moment and you wanted to deny it to me?” He gasped when they parted.

“Now I know it was a bad idea.” Seb chuckled. “So you feel better?”

“Ever since I saw you. But you still haven’t told me how you got in here.”

“Do I really need to?” He grizzled playfully. “Fine, I used my charm and persuaded the guard to let me in.”

“Right, like that could ever work.”

“Marco, you’re hurting me. I’m a front page celebrity now, emblazoning every newsstand in the country. Who could resist me?”

“You know, considering you can be such a jerk, sometimes I really wander why I started seeing you in the first place.” Marco would never admit it, but Seb’s dumb comments worked. He was feeling better and for the first time that day, he forgot about everything.

“See, that’s what I’m talking about. And by the way, I pointed out to the guard that you were going to get into my car and it would be in everyone’s favor if you did that inside the training ground, not in front of the photographers. Oh, and you will have to take a picture with his nephew.”

Marco burst out laughing. He shook his head and grabbed Seb’s hand, pulling him away from the car so he could open the door and sit in the passenger seat. Seb went round the auto and slumped down next to Marco.

“Could you please take me to Marcel’s place? I guess him driving me home wouldn’t be that suspicious.”

“No, since you’re not going home.” Seb stated firmly.

“What? Where are we going?”

“I told you to let me worry about that.”

“Seb, I’m in no mood for your games.”

“Okay, I’m taking you to my house. You’re going to stay there for a few days. Until things get better.” Seb was clearly irritated. He wanted to have everything under his control and hated when someone wouldn’t let him handle the situation.

“I appreciate it, but I don’t want you to get into trouble because of me. I’ll manage.”

“You’re lucky I’m driving and I need both my hands, otherwise I’d slap you right now.” Seb mumbled.

They stopped before the gate that led to BVB’s training center. Seb pulled down the window and leaned out of the car, discussing something with the security man. He looked inside the car and nodded. Marco took a glance on the outside world. On both sides of the road, TV and newspaper cars were parked. Marco had never seen more of them in one place. Seb turned back and changed to reverse gear and backed away from the gate, that was being opened.

“What are you doing?” Marco asked confused.

“Our passengers are kindly requested to fasten their seatbelts.” Seb said and suddenly changed forward.

The car shot out and Marco was pressed into his seat. He grabbed the handle above the side window. By the time they passed the gate they must have hit 80 km/h. Then Marco realized what this all was about. The journalists, who were waiting close to the fence with cameras, rushed towards their cars, but by the time they got in, Seb and Marco were far away.

“That was smart.” Marco acknowledged. “Hey, about that previous thing, I’m sorry. I’m just tired and angry and all. And I might hurt you a lot in the upcoming days, but I want you to know that it’s not your fault and you shouldn’t take it seriously.”

“You’re overthinking, Marco. I can take your shit. Can you?”

“I don’t know.” Marco shook his head. It was so unfair that it took him hours to get out from his misery, but he fell back in seconds. “It feels like it is too much for me, and I don’t have the slightest idea whether I’m doing things right.”

“You did well at the press conference.” Seb said it like it was just an ordinary thing, but Marco knew he meant it. The other one had always had problems expressing his feelings, that’s why he always tried to joke around. “Of course not as good as Klopp. I mean the man was phenomenal. I would watch your press conferences only because of him. You should have stayed there to listen to his answers.”

“I think I heard enough.”

“The rainbow part too?” Seb turned to him and when he saw Marco’s clueless look, he continued. “It was that reporter from that gay magazine. He asked what his thoughts were on your coming out. Well, Klopp brought him back to earth, pointing out that you didn’t really come out, but were outed and the sad truth is that probably you would never even consider making your homosexuality public. It was a nice little deheroization. Oh and when asked whether the club would start a campaign against homophobia, he simply said that Dortmund weren’t going to shit rainbows.”

“What the–” Marco asked with dropped jaw. It was something that Kloppo would think, but Marco had never thought he would actually say it out loud.

“Relax, it was the wise decision. Maybe they will get some criticism from LGBT papers, but the rest of the footballing world will praise their rational handling of the situation. It will make you look like a player for whom football is the most important.”

“God, could you stop that?” Marco burst out. “For the past hours I’ve been told how things will make me look like. I’ve had enough of it! I don’t care about my public image; I only want everything to stay the way they were.”

“Well, in that case, you should consider how you will come out of this all.” Seb noted dryly.

They spent the rest of their drive in silence. And if there was something Marco hated, it was unresolved conflicts. On the other hand though, he had too big self-esteem to ever ask Seb or anyone else to talk things over. Usually it led to misunderstandings and every time that happened, Marco would curse his stubbornness, but he couldn’t change.

Seb lived in a small house that was the complete opposite to Marco’s home. It lacked any signs of luxury; the furniture was old and worn. Out of the three little rooms Seb used one only to practice on his guitar, what made the other two packed. The first time Marco visited him, he was deterred by the sight. Not that he was surprised; he hadn’t expected anything else from Seb, and in a strange way the house even felt cozy – just like what an average bachelor would have. But for Marco it was all dismal and he decided to do something about it.

The first time he bought Seb a new piece of furniture, he thanked him, but the next time he visited, the armchair was nowhere to be seen. Seb claimed he had spilled coffee on it and the stain just wouldn’t go away so he had to throw it out. Marco’s next gift was a set of shelves to help organize Seb’s things. Now the shelves were on the wall of his living room, only to serve as dust catchers. The next time Marco brought a new TV with him, which was really needed since Seb’s device had a decent number of dead pixels. The TV, along with a PlayStation and a DVD-player, found itself in the garage.

Marco eventually gave up his efforts, with a double-sized bed being the only thing that got to be put in use from his presents, only because he refused to sleep at Seb’s after once he woke up feeling totally beaten up. Apparently, Seb hated when someone tried to help him out. Marco first thought it was because Seb felt uncomfortable about the difference in their fortune, so he tried to promote his football page from the background. It was the cause of their first real row, when Seb pointed out that suddenly certain men pretending to be professional footballers started to seek his opinion and advice. That was it: he couldn’t change Seb’s house, nor the man himself.

But now, when they stepped inside Seb’s house he saw that some things had changed. The small hall was more packed than usual, three trash bags lined up on the floor.

 “What are these?”

“Your things.”

“What?” Marco pealed.

“I got them from your house.”

“But how?” Marco stammered. “You couldn’t possibly walk in there without drawing any attention.”

“Me not. But a charwoman – played by my sister – is pretty unsuspicious, especially if she takes out the trash.”

Marco’s jaw dropped and once again he had to bow before Seb’s genius. Literally, the guy had an incredible mind and yet, he didn’t use it to its full potential. At least, that’s what Marco thought. And then came moments like this when he had to reconsider his opinion. Initially, it seemed strange that Seb decided to choose the life path he chose, since Marco was sure he could have become just anything he wanted to be, but that was what made Seb happy and in a way Marco envied him for his courage.

“Wait, you’ve got my clothes transferred here in _trash bags_?”

“You’re welcome.” Seb nodded. “Although it is so typical of you to complain about the bags. You know, they haven’t been used before, so they are as clean as any other bag.”

 “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to be unthankful. I’m so grateful for you right now.”

“Marco, it’s okay.” Seb waved him off. “You don’t need to apologize all the time, not for trifles like this.”

They sat down in Seb’s living room that was furnished in the same manner as the rest of the house. Marco couldn’t understand why the younger one hadn’t gotten rid of his tumbledown couch or his coffee table that shook for a minute whenever someone put something on it. But when he asked Seb about it, he explained everything with the item’s history: they bore a lot of stories and lived through a lot, so they stayed.

“What’s up for you now?”

“I don’t know. Klopp asked me to skip trainings until I get over my misery and the storm calms down a bit. It’s for the best. I have some time to pull myself together and the guys to accept that I’m gay. I’ll have to call Jogi too and hope that I still have a place in the national team.”

“In Germany? Really? Just imagine what we’d get if they dropped you because you’re gay.”

“Thanks, but I really don’t want to be subject to political games.” Marco snorted.

“You will be. And no one will ask you whether you want it or not.”

Marco answered with a hum and sank into his thoughts. It was the same thing over and over again: worry for his career, anger for being stupid and caught and hatred towards the world. Definitely not a positive state of mind. Seb tried to distract him, but failed with getting only few words long answers. Finally he gave up and hauled off the couch, again not getting Marco’s attention, who only looked at him questioningly when he announced he was going out.

“You’re leaving me here?” The blonde finally looked at him.

“What, you need me to give you fresh tissues while you sulk? I’m sorry but I won’t assist in that.”

He slammed the door before Marco could retort with anything. Okay, Seb was right but still, he should have been more understanding. He was left alone with his thoughts once again, but this time he would have given anything for distraction. He turned on the TV, but not surprisingly his picture looked back at him from the display. He was leading news, something that would have made him proud under different circumstances. He turned off the TV and grabbed his mobile phone to read through the messages he hadn’t seen yet.

It was good to feel his friends’ support, although he hated to be the defenseless child. It turned out he didn’t have to call the Bundestrainer, since Löw already texted him, wishing him strength and reassuring him of his place in the national eleven. After he finished, he called Marcel, one of the few people that he told he was gay. It was just what he needed, Marcel tried to solace him and even though he failed, at least he tried. He was a bit worried about Marco staying at Seb’s – he never came to like Marco’s boyfriend – and asked him to move to his place instead, which Marco refused politely.

He decided to pack out his things, as Seb called them, only to divert his thoughts from the one person he hadn’t heard from. One bag contained pants, T-shirts, hoodies and underwear enough for at least two weeks. At first, he found the scene of Seb’s sister – whom he had met just once – rummaging in his house a bit strange but soon dismissed all uneasiness. After all, she was helping them and Marco could use every kind of help. He had no idea where to put his clothes until he found out that Seb had cleared two shelves in his wardrobe for him.

The second bag had five pairs of his shoes; not the ones he would have chosen to wear in the upcoming days. He guessed Seb’s sister followed her brother’s instructions in her choice of the items she took. The last bag was only half-empty, (Marco had always voted for half-full, but that day he opted for the pessimistic option) a box full of his jewelry, a few DVDs and CDs and his personal devices being the most notable contents. He was almost finished organizing by the time Seb returned, carrying a handful of shopping bags.

“I see you made yourself at home already.”

“Is that a problem?” Marco was a bit too harsh.

“No, I’m glad.” This time Seb’s voice lacked any sarcasm or cynicism.

“I’m so–” Marco started but stopped when he noticed Seb’s threatening look. “Forget it!”

“Here, get this!” He threw one of the plastic bags to Marco who caught it easily. “I hope I’ve got them right.”

Marco opened the bag that held toiletries, ones he usually used. He was left speechless by this proof of Seb caring after all. He had always been sensitive about his look and Seb was well-aware of it. “You bought these to _me_?”

“Don’t be greedy, these for example” he lifted a few bags “are from the groceries. My fridge wasn’t calibrated for two.”

Marco laughed out loud and gave a hand with putting all the food into the pantry, which was a challenge. After that, they sat down in the kitchen and talked while Seb was preparing dinner. At first it was strange to see his boyfriend so domestic and he was bewildered at how easily Seb found his way around. He was full of surprises. They were often interrupted by the ringing of Marco’s phone. The midfielder grabbed it with a hopeful face but his look changed to disappointed every time.

“Alright, what’s the newest reason for concern in Marco Reus’s dark world?” Seb sighed after the three-dozenth time.

“Nothing.” Marco said but went on as Seb put to use his _oh-please_ face. “It’s Mario. He hasn’t called me or texted me and I’m getting anxious that– that I might have upset him.”

“Then call him.”

“But what if he doesn’t want to talk to me? What if he’s disgusted with me?”

“Then he won’t answer and you will know for sure.” Seb pointed out.

“No, maybe he just needs some time.” Marco sighed, putting his phone on the table. Seb reached out as quickly as lightning and grabbed it. Before Marco could do anything, he unlocked it and pressed a few buttons before throwing it back to Marco. The footballer took a glance at the display. “You son of a–”

“Hello? Marco is that you?” He heard the faint voice of Mario from the speaker.

“Yeah.” He put the mobile to his ear.

“Is everything alright? You sounded pretty– angry.”

“Yes, I was arguing with my– toaster.” He added awkwardly. “Hey, listen, I called you because– I mean it will sound lame, but I need to be sure. So, I was wondering what you say to today’s news.”

“Oh, I see your confusion. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to trouble you and make you think that I’m against you or something. I just didn’t want to disturb you as I guessed you still had much to deal with. But I’m curious why do you have social media if you don’t use it?”

“What?” Marco asked clueless, suppressing an exclamation of relief.

“Check facebook, twitter or instagram.” Mario gave no further explanations so Marco stood up and went to the living room, sitting to his laptop.

“So how are things going in Munich?” He tried to kill time while he was waiting for the system to start.

“You should have been here in the morning. There was a kind of an uproar when the news got here.” Mario started passionately. “We even had a team meeting for fuck’s sake! We were asked not to make any comments about you and not to risk the club’s status by showing support to you. And then, Philipp speaks up and threatens to leave if they forbid it. It caused an even bigger stir, with Rafinha questioning why does he care about that little fa– well, you. And it just got worse. Robert sprung up and we had to hold him back.”

“What?” Marco burst out. He started his web browser.

“Yes, it was hilarious!” Mario laughed, although Marco didn’t share his opinion. “After that it was a huge hassle between the Germans together with Robert, Arjen, Dante and Xherdan and the rest of the squad. In the end they had to call off training to make peace. And they let us do about the news whatever we wanted to, but asked the disapprovers to shut up. So we agreed to–”

“What’s hashtag reuspect?” Marco interrupted him indignantly. His social media sites went crazy, thousands of notifications waiting for him on every page.

“That’s what I was starting to explain. We’ve come up with this idea of supporting you. It’s not much but it should drown out the haters. It must be trending by now.”

“It is.” Marco was furious. _He_ was trending (along with #shitrainbows).

“What’s wrong?” Mario asked innocently.

“I don’t want this, Mario!” Marco burst out angrily. “I’m not a freak, am I? Then why does everyone treat me like one?”

“No one does that. It was meant to help, to make you feel loved, don’t you get it?”

“Yes, I get it.” Marco sighed. “I’m sorry; it’s just too much on me. I appreciate it, but I wish everyone just shrugged his shoulders and carried on.”

“They will, eventually, don’t worry. And we support you, don’t forget that.”

“Thank you, I won’t. And Mario– did you know?”

“Well, with the time we spent together it was pretty obvious. And there was also Seb, I couldn’t see a reason why would you talk to him unless he was really close to your heart. Let’s face it, he’s a jerk.”

“Mario! Don’t say that, if you knew him–”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. I didn’t mean to offend him. And if he makes you happy, then it’s none of my business. I just hope he treats you well and tends to you.”

“He kind of does, I guess.” Marco shrugged.

“Well, that wasn’t very convincing.” Mario laughed.

“It’s not that, but it must be hard for him and you know he always had problems expressing his feelings or dealing with emotional trouble. Just like me. Maybe that’s why we get along so well.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it is seventh heaven right now.”

“We’re trying.”

“I’m glad. Hey, I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go right now, but call me whenever you need me.”

“Thanks again. And Mario, I’m glad you still stand by me. I could accept if others turned their backs on me, but not you.”

“Sure thing.” Mario hung up.

Marco stared before himself and then looked at the display. He clicked on his Facebook page that was flooded by supportive and not so decent comments. He searched for Mario’s page and found what he was looking for. Mario had posted a picture of them from the last time they were together on international duty. _All the best, my bro, stay strong!_ , read the accompanying text. He went over the accounts of all the international players and he found his strength again. Mario was right: it helped him to see the love he was getting. He checked the club’s post on the news too. It asked the fans for support and urged the world of football to finally end with homophobia. The typical political stuff, Marco thought.

He was startled by Seb, who was standing next to him, announcing dinner was ready. They ate in silence and then sat before the TV, watching it disinterested right until the news program started and Seb reached out to change channels.

“Wait, no! I want to know what’s going on.” Marco stopped him.

“Today’s top story: Marco Reus, midfielder for Borussia Dortmund and the German national team announces he’s gay after photos of him and his boyfriend emerged on the internet earlier today. Most of the Bundesliga teams and fellow footballers expressed their support on various social media.”

After that, they showed a summary of the press conference. Marco was shocked by how pale and stressed he looked like and he only hoped that he was in better shape right now. The reporter went into details in describing the events chronologically and then Klopp’s face appeared on the screen.

“We’re not gonna shit rainbows. I’ve talked to Marco and advised him to concentrate on his career and I hope that’s what he’ll do. For me it is irrelevant whether someone is straight or gay and that’s why I think it is for the best if we don’t treat Marco’s situation differently than any other player’s.”

_“The coach’s words caused big controversy with multiple voices claiming he spoke out of homophobia.”_

The news report featured a short snippet from an interview with an LGBT-organization’s leader and then with Watzke and concluded with a rhetorical question about Marco’s future career.

“Great, just what I expected: almost no word about me, only political ding-dong.” Marco sighed.

“That’s what keeps TVs and newspapers alive. But at least you will be able to retire for a few days.”

“I’d like to think so, but I doubt it will be so. I mean, it’s alright while I’m here, but sooner or later I’ll have to leave and face a lot of questioning looks. And a lot of hatred.”

“You’re right.” Seb murmured.

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” Marco burst out.

“What do you expect from me, Marco? Hold your hand and lie that everything will be fine?”

“Well, for starters, it would be good. I would be mostly grateful if you even pretended that you care!”

“I do care about you, Marco!” Seb sprung up. “I just don’t think you should care about all this. It’s the only way to deal with it.”

“Yeah, right, and why would I be listening to you?” Marco’s voice was full of sarcasm. “Seb, you never had to lose anything, you never even had a career!”

The words slipped out before Marco could even think about them. An awkward silence ruled over the room, both of them breathing heavily with anger. Marco’s eyes fell and looked before himself with an empty gaze. What was he doing? Pushing away everyone who tried to help him, hurting them, making enemies instead of allies.

“Have you ever wondered, why?” Seb broke the silence hoarsely. “Or were you too full of yourself to ever think about it?”

“What?” Marco stammered.

“It’s always you who has to be the martyr, isn’t it? No one else can risk or lose anything, right?”

“What are you talking about?” Marco asked confused.

“Nothing.” Seb sighed. “Forget it.”

“No, talk to me!” Marco cried out.

“I’m out of here!” Seb announced casually, already reaching for his coat.

“Seb, wait!”

Marco got up and grabbed his boyfriend’s wrist. Seb looked at him angrily and Marco loosened his grip so he could get out of Marco’s hold. He put on his shoes and stepped out, slamming the door behind himself.

What was wrong with him was all Marco could think about. Alright, he hadn’t expected solacing words from Seb, but he should have been more empathetic. And what was he talking about? How could he say that Marco was being selfish, when he ran away whenever Marco needed support? He sighed and slumped down in the armchair, buried in his thoughts.

His life was a total mess. He was a total mess. His phone rang; it was Mats who called him. Marco rejects the call. He was in no mood to talk to anyone. Well, he would have talked to one certain person, but he was cruising the streets right now. Everything was much harder than he had imagined. If the news only influenced his professional life, he could have accepted it, but his personal life suffered because of his new publicity.

His phone rang again, and Marco picked it up frustrated.

“What?”

“Where the fuck are you?” Mats shouted.

“At Seb, I mean– at my boyfriend.” Marco explained.

“Great, and when were you planning to share it with us? Before or after we sent the whole city police looking for you? You vanish into thin air after training and you think you don’t have to tell anyone?”

“Mats, please, I don’t want to have this conversation right now.” Marco’s voice was full of pain.

“What’s going on?” Mats asked, sensing that something was really wrong, but he got no answers, as Marco hung up.

He spent hours in doubts, chewing on Seb’s words, but no matter how hard he tried, he didn’t get closer to guessing what the younger one meant. The sun went down, leaving Marco in complete darkness, but he didn’t move. It must have been midnight when he heard fumbling from the other side of the door and Seb entered the house.

“You’re still up?” He was surprised when he saw Marco.

“I couldn’t sleep. Too many thoughts.”

“You should have tried heroin, it switches you off.” Seb said with a dry voice.

“Seb, we need to talk. You make me feel I did something wrong, but I have no idea, what. What did you mean when you said I was full of myself? What happened to you? Why can’t you stay with me longer than an hour?”

“I shouldn’t have said that.” Seb slumped down next to Marco. “I was full of anger and it took over me completely, I’m sorry.”

 “Tell me more, Seb. I want to know. Something must have happened in the past.” Marco pushed him and Seb nodded.

“While in university, we went to an internship at a big sports newspaper. I was doing great, they were about to offer me a job, something that was unbelievable for me at that time – it was unbelievable for everyone. So we went out with the other guys to celebrate and I kind of ended up making out with another boy. It somehow got to the other journalists and they started teasing me. I forbore; you can’t imagine how much I wanted that job. But one day our boss called me into his office.” He took a deep breath before he continued. “He kindly asked me to quit.”

“That’s horrible!” Marco whispered.

“For days I was angry at the whole world, but mostly at myself. Why couldn’t I stay sober that night? Everyone tried to persuade me that nothing was wrong with me; it was the society that was to be blamed. But that’s not how it works, Marco. I could have done two things: keep feeding my anger and hatred or stop caring. I chose the latter; otherwise I would have gone crazy. That’s what I’ve been doing this ever since; running away. You want to know why I went out today? Because I saw you and it made me– mad at myself.”

“I don’t understand.” Marco stammered.

“Whenever I look at you, Marco and I see the pain and the suffering you endure, I blame myself. I should have known better. That evening when you came here and asked me to be your boyfriend. I knew the risk we were taking and how thin that ice was we were walking on. And yet, I said yes.”

“Seb, it’s–” Marco was speechless. “I don’t know what to say. It’s not your fault, you hear? I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault. It might be horrible right now and maybe it will end my career, but I don’t regret my decision.”

“Yeah, sure.” Seb snorted cynically. “You don’t have to lie to me Marco just to make me feel better. I know how much football means to you and I know I can never be more important. And let’s not think about the worst possibility.”

“Okay.” Marco leant over and hugged Seb. “Next to you I can do that.” He thought.


	4. The Storm Comes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I got depressed by Dortmund's poor form which made me write the whole night, so here I am with the next chapter. I warn you it's not going to be a fluffy, romantic update, it will be the exact opposite to anything like that. Maybe I was being too mean to Marco and as I've said, it actually hurt me to write this chapter but I wouldn't change it a bit.  
> I remind you that this is just fiction, it doesn't represent my opinion about football fans, what happens, happens for the sake of the story.

Just four days later Marco was back in training. The first wave of attention burnt out much sooner than he had expected. The press poked him, just like a child pokes an animal to get some reaction, but Marco ignored them systematically. And although eventually they moved on, Marco knew his story wasn’t over.

He practiced individually, since the others were in their preparation for the upcoming game and Klopp didn’t want him to hold up the work. At least that’s what he said. Marco guessed he was trying to protect both parties. So he did some running and practiced his ball control on a secluded pitch, closed to public. In the end, it was him, who posted a photo of himself, to show everyone he was being serious when talked about coming back. As he shared the shot, he was unsettled; it was easy to be strong when he got no face to face reply, but would he have the strength when it really mattered? On the pitch or in the street? He got rid of thoughts like this very easily, by concentrating on training. That’s the reason he wanted to be back as soon as possible. Nothing could switch him off more than football.

Of course, Seb did everything he could to get his mind off doubts and worries, but he wasn’t always there for him and Marco couldn’t ask for that. He had his own life and Marco had to respect that. Actually, he had never thought that Seb’s life was so full of business. Now, as he was staying at his place, he realized how much effort was behind Seb’s knowledge. He watched more football games in those four days than Marco could in a month. Literally, there was no idle time in Seb’s days, but still, he seemed to enjoy himself in every minute. Marco found it impossible but the first day he went to the club’s training ground, he realized _he_ could work all day long and feel good at the same time.

By the time he finished his session, the team was already done so the main building was completely silent, the walls echoing his steps. He ruffled his soaking wet hair, he flapped his shirt that was stuck to his sweaty body, trying to cool himself down. He entered the locker room with great confidence but almost backed down when he saw Erik sitting on a bench. The young defender looked at him and his look said it all.

“I thought training ended already.” Marco started.

“It did, but– I wanted to talk to you.” Erik was as unsettled as Marco, who forgot all the progress he had made when his hunch about the other one trying to speak to him turned out to be true. “Well, rather apologize.”

“For what?” Marco asked. He didn’t look at the defender. He walked to his locker and got his towels, as if he was getting ready to take a shower. He hoped that it might cut their conversation short.

“For the way I behaved. You know, when Kloppo told us.”

“You don’t have to apologize for that.”

“I do. We didn’t take the news the way we should have. You are a great person and a friend to a lot of us. We should have looked through it all, just like it was nothing. Because it _is_ nothing. Or it should be. You did so much for this team, for us, and when you needed us to do something for you, we betrayed you. We treated you like a disgrace.”

“No you did not.” Marco objected. He finally looked at Erik, who dropped his eyes and blushed in shame. The midfielder walked over to him and sat down next to him. He stretched out his arm, to embrace the younger one, but pulled back. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea. Instead, he continued. “Your reaction was completely understandable and normal.”

“Not, it wasn’t. Take Mats! He could stand by you immediately; he never ever showed that doubt or questions crossed his mind. He was by your side through all. Like a true friend. And I acted like you didn’t even count.”

“Erik, look at me.” Marco said in a calm voice. The defender shot a glance at him, but turned his face away quickly. But Marco still had enough time to see the regret in his eyes. “I’m not mad at you for what had happened. I never was. I don’t blame you for the way you reacted. We are all different and Mats has known me much longer than you. Just the fact that you are so much troubled shows how much you care about me and I’m grateful for that. So have no hard feelings to yourself.”

“Thank you.” Erik nodded. “And if you ever need me, I promise I’ll be there. Just ask me anything, alright?”

“Alright.” Marco smiled. “Hey, I need to take a shower first, but if you want me to, I could give you a lift home.”

“Really? Thanks.”

So fifteen minutes later they walked out of the training center together, chatting casually. When they turned around the corner and saw the parking space, Erik stopped abruptly.

“I thought you had an Aston.”

“Oh, that!” Marco looked at Seb’s car, which didn’t look dependably. “It’s temporary, you know, not to cause attention.”

“Oh, I see.” Erik sighed and they continued on their way. “Was it horrible? I mean all those questions and harassment? It certainly looked like a systematic persecution to me.” He asked once they got in.

“Well, it wasn’t pleasant.” Marco started cagily. “But it could have been worse. Once they realized they weren’t getting any answers from me, they gave up. And I always had something to look forward to.”

“When will you be back?”

“I don’t know. Kloppo told me not to rush things and I don’t want to, but I can’t bear it much longer without football. I guess he won’t let me get back before he thinks the time is right, though.”

“I’m sure it will be soon. We’re missing you and we have quite a schedule ahead of us.” Erik hinted.

“We’ll see.” Marco muttered, repeating the words under his breath.

When he finally got home, Seb was having a late lunch or an early dinner – Marco couldn’t guess what the spaghetti with a sickening amount of cheese was supposed to be. He was watching an Eredivisie match and based on the paper sheets piled up on the table, he had been analyzing the whole day.

“Hey.” Marco greeted. “Interesting game?”

“Lots of goals, exactly what you would expect from the Dutch. But I don’t think they’ll score any more.” Seb shrugged his shoulders. “You’re late.”

“Yes, I drove home Erik first.”

“Should I be getting jealous?” Seb asked, his eyebrows lifted.

“No.” Marco laughed. “He just apologized for his way of dealing with the news. I think he’s taking it too seriously.”

“Strange to hear it from you.” Seb noted with his clinical and sometimes offensive manner. “Anyway, are you going to watch the match in the weekend?”

“Well, we could go.”

“No, _we_ cannot go. You can go and I can go, but I’m still your secret love, remember?”

“Then I’ll stay home.”

“Good, ‘cause I’m going.”

“What the hell, Seb?” Marco was annoyed.

“Once the world knows who I am, I don’t think I’ll be very welcome in the stadium, so I want to enjoy the games why I still can.”

“That’s nonsense!” Marco snorted.

“The idea of the world knowing or that I won’t be welcome? Really, when can we finally get out together?”

“Not yet. I guess it should be done after my comeback. Don’t you agree?”

“You’re the captain.” Seb put his now empty plate on the table.

“And I’ve been thinking about what he had spoken about a week ago. You know, you never having a career. I think we can help that.”

“Marco, I don’t remember asking for help. Don’t you think there might be a reason behind it? That I don’t want help, for example.”

“I know you’re all for DIY, but if you gave me a few of your articles and I showed it to a few journalists, then–”

“Marco, no! And that’s my final answer.” Seb got up fretfully and went to the kitchen, Marco closely following him. “Relax, I’m just washing the dishes, or do you think I need help with that, too?”

“Seb, that’s enough! You wouldn’t die if you accepted some help now and then.”

“Again– strange coming from you.”

“Why are you being so cynical?”

“Because I know it wouldn’t work. Homosexuality and football don’t go together, not even in journalism. And you’ll see that once you’re back on the pitch.”

“Thanks for lifting my spirits.” Marco snorted. “As if I wasn’t nervous already.”

“To be honest, I don’t think you’re nervous enough.” Seb noted suggestively.

And again, he was right. Dortmund won their game in the weekend despite Marco’s absence, but his creativity was indeed missed in the team’s attack. They couldn’t perform those quick changes from defense to offense that made them so deadly. Plus, they received heavy criticism from the press for dropping Marco from the first team. The professional newspapers saw the reason behind Klopp’s decision, but all the major TV channels tried to stir up the tension and provoke the club.

The day after the winning game, Klopp called Marco to his office. They sat down facing each other, a telling silence between them.

“How are you doing, Marco?” The coach opened their dialogue with a sigh.

“I manage. It’s far from perfect, but I’m concentrating on football like you said and it helps.”

“Good.” Klopp nodded. “I was thinking you could rejoin team training tomorrow. Only if you agree, of course.”

“We could give it a try.”

“And another thing– I know I told you you’d get as much time as you need, but we’re playing Bayern next week, and I don’t give us much chance without you, so I want you to think about it for the next days and we will see on Friday, alright?”

“Okay.” Marco couldn’t hide his ardor.

“I don’t want to rush you and don’t take this for granted. If I have the slightest doubt that it could do you more harm than good, you’ll stay here. Understood?”

“Understood.”

In the end, he was judged prepared and no one could bring him back down to earth after Klopp told him. He rushed home like a schoolboy who got a good mark to boast about the news, but Seb’s reaction was a bit disappointing.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” He asked with a lifted eyebrow.

“I am. I thought you would be happy to see me back.”

“I am happy for you.” Seb explained. “But, I just don’t think it’s a good idea. It’s too soon, and in Munich above all! I think Klopp is risking you for the team’s success.”

“No, it’s not like that! I agreed to it and I guess I have to get over it sooner or later.”

“The emphasis here is on _later_.” Seb noted sourly.

“You’re too worried; it will be alright. I know I’ll get some booing or rants, but I can ignore them. And I really miss playing.”

“I know. And if you want to be back, no one can stop you.” Seb smiled, but there was still some sadness in his voice.

“Can I ask you something? Could you come with me to Munich?” Marco pleaded. “I need you there, next to me. I sure I can ask the club to take you with us.”

“No, I don’t want to go there with the team.” Seb snapped. “I’ll go if you want me to, but on my own.”

“Why would you make my life easier, right?” Marco shook his head in disbelief.

Seb managed to book a room in the same hotel the team was staying in, and left for Munich a day earlier than Marco. He went to see Bayern’s last open to public training before the game. It looked so much professional than the ones Dortmund had. On the other hand, the Black and Yellows trained in a more familial atmosphere. As soon as the BVB plane landed, Marco sent him a message, but it was practically needless. The news portals were already crazy about the prospect of Marco Reus making his comeback, and they were fighting to cover the story better than their rivals. Seb could only smile to himself at the childish battle.

Marco couldn’t snub the attention so easily, with cameras getting into his face despite the struggle of the airport’s security. He was listening to music so loudly that it was probably going to cause temporary ear damage, but he still could hear the shouts of reporters trying to get an answer from him. He was ushered to the team bus by his teammates and could finally relax. He got through the first difficulty. Sadly, it was also the easiest one.

In the hotel lobby, he was turning around like a madman in search for Seb, but he couldn’t see him. They were never getting a warm welcome in Munich, but on this occasion the receptionist’s look was slightly more hostile towards him than usual. He wanted to punch the guy in the face, but he kept his cool and thanked for the key card in his most polite voice.

They had training in the afternoon in the Allianz Arena. It was good, considering the circumstances. Members of the press were forbidden on the stands but Marco could still feel their curious eyes through the stadium’s walls. In truth, he was more annoyed by his teammates’ caring and patronizing glances. At the end of the session Kloppo announced the line-up: Marco was starting on the bench. It looked like the coach didn’t trust in him so much, after all.

“I hope there are no hard feelings, Marco.” Klopp said after he drew aside the midfielder. “But after what happened at the airport I don’t want to press you unless it is inevitable. We have a lot of injured players but I still couldn’t expect you to play ninety minutes.”

“It’s alright.” Marco muttered, unable to hide his disappointment.

“It’s a process, Marco. You’ll be back, I promise, but we have to take it one step a time. I’ve warned you.”

“I know, I just thought– never mind. Can I go?” Marco asked, looking at his teammates who were already at the sidelines.

Klopp nodded and Marco rushed after them, catching up to them at the locker rooms. He rushed past a few of them, pushing his way to his training bag, quickly changing his shoes and packing in.

“Aren’t you going to take a shower first?” Mats leant over to ask him quietly.

“Nah, I forgot my things at the hotel.” He was very ‘forgetful’ lately, but it was the only way he could avoid showering together, which he still thought unwanted. “I’ll wait you in the bus.” He got up before the captain could say anything else.

He wanted to be alone. Well, actually he wanted to be with Seb, but he could content himself with his thoughts, even though they gave a bad company. He sat down in the empty team bus, putting on his headphones, staring out the window, but seeing nothing. It didn’t feel good, but it was okay, and in the last few days it was the most he could ask for. But the moment was ruined. As soon as the rest of the team arrived and got into the bus, Mats slumped down next to him, signalizing unmistakably for him to get rid of his headphones. Marco obeyed annoyed.

“How are you doing, Marco? Are you really ready to come back?”

“I want to.” Marco said and it was true. He wasn’t sure about himself, but sitting at home and going to pointless trainings was killing him. “I just wish everyone left me alone, and stopped gazing at me so– worriedly. It’s getting annoying.”

“It’s only because they care about you.” Mats pointed out needlessly. Marco was well aware of it, but it didn’t help him concede the stares. “And they are worried. _I_ am worried. I think it’s too early for you.”

“Well, it’s too late to change things now, isn’t it?” Marco shrugged and put back his headphones, ignoring the defender for the rest of their drive back to the hotel. It was only a provisional solution, since they shared a room and Marco knew Mats wouldn’t drop the topic unless they spoke about it.

And the defender didn’t disappoint. He kept silent until and during dinner, but after they retired to get a good night’s sleep before the game, he started to ask his questions. At one point he even announced that he wouldn’t let Marco play unless he saw an unambiguous sign of his capability to deal with the situation. Marco was doubtful that he could manage to do it, but Mats’s look was persuasive enough not to risk. So Marco reached for his phone and texted an S.O.S. message to Seb.

_Room 317. Rescue me!_

The answer came after five minutes: _Try to get past that ape who is guarding your dreams!_

_Well, try to get past Mats;_ Marco murmured, but anyway, what was Seb talking about? They never hired a security guard and Marco couldn’t think of any reason for it, unless–

“Since when do I need to be guarded?” Marco burst out, and Mats almost jumped at the sudden explosion of his anger.

“Relax, Marco, it’s only provision, in case someone wanted to– harm you. And how do you even know about it?” He retorted.

“I? I have my sources.” He stammered.

“Your boyfriend’s here, right?” Mats shouted self-conceitedly, proud of himself, that he solved the puzzle so easily.

Marco could have contradicted him, but he was too desperate to do so. He faintly nodded and shot his look down. Mats sighed and got up from his bed, leaving for the front door.

“I’ll see what I can do.” He said quietly and left.

Marco grabbed his cell and called Seb, giving him a heads up, taking a mental note to remember to thank Mats for his assistance. A few minutes later Seb’s face appeared in the door and he quickly slipped in the room. Marco sprung up and ran to him, hugging him immediately.

“I’m so happy that you came.” He whispered, not caring how lame he must have sounded.

“What happened?” Seb grabbed him by his upper arms, staring right into Marco’s eyes.

“Nothing in specific. I’m just not sure in myself. I don’t think I can do that, Seb! I feel so powerless!” He whined.

“I thought you wanted to come back.”

“I still want to! But I’m afraid. What if I fail the team and the fans? They expect me to be my old self, but I won’t be able to be like that.”

“Marco, no-one expects you to be at your best.” His voice was totally calm. “You’ll get back to your form, but it needs time. And everyone knows that. Just go out there and enjoy yourself. I’ll be in the stadium the entire game.”

“Thank you.” Marco whispered. “It means a lot.”

_And yet, it’s a lie_. Seb thought to himself. He damned himself for not being strong enough to tell Marco the truth. He couldn’t help the midfielder; he was powerless too. In fact, everyone was powerless and clueless about what was going to happen the next day. But maybe that’s what relationships are about: being able to pretend that you have the strength the other one lacks.

“Can you stay?” Marco asked, hope in his eyes.

“I’m afraid I can’t. You have to get some sleep.” He wiped down the tears gathering in Marco’s eyes. “I’ll be with you, don’t forget.” He said before he planted a kiss on his boyfriend’s lips.

He turned around and left the room. Marco watched him stock-still. In the hallway, Seb sighed and started for the elevators, bumping into Dortmund’s security guard.

“I thought I told you clearly that you had nothing to do here.” He grunted.

“And I told you I needed to speak to a player.” Seb retorted, get round him. “And don’t worry, that someone is still alive.” He called back, to the bewilderment of the other one.

He turned around the corner, noticing a tall man standing before the elevators. Seb saw only his back, but his black curls gave him away easily.

“Checking me out?” He asked, startling Mats. The defender turned around and despite his obviousness, his eyes wandered down Seb multiple times.

“Don’t take it hard, but I was curious.” Mats smiled. “You surprised me. I was expecting something else.”

“Should I take it as a compliment?”

“How is he doing?” Mats asked, jerking his head in their room’s way.

“Hard to tell. But please, leave him be. He will still have a bad time on his own, but you annoying him won’t help a bit. I know you mean good, but that’s how Marco works.” Seb shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay.” Mats nodded. He seemed to want to carry on with the conversation but Seb took the stairs, returning to his room and lying down on his bed. His mind was racing and he couldn’t get rid of the many thoughts conflicting in his head, causing him the first sleepless night of his life.

Marco, on the other hand, couldn’t complain. He woke up refreshed. Maybe it was a defense mechanism that rocked him into a dreamless sleep. And his mind managed to protect him from unwanted thoughts during the morning, enjoying himself for the first time since a long time. He was going to play football and nothing could ruin it. The team had breakfast and then they had an improvised team meeting, going over the tactics and their opponents once more. It was all needless: they already knew what they were supposed to do on the pitch.

They left for their last training just before ten and Marco spotted Seb in the lobby. The other one sent him a wink and Marco smiled under his nose. Maybe the team was worrying too much and everything was going to be okay. After all, what could go wrong on a football game? That afternoon, everything did.

They arrived at the stadium three hours before the game started and they did the warming up in front of a nearly empty stadium, although Marco could see the reporters and photographers not taking their eyes off him. But he kept fully concentrated on the ball and the instructions they got from their coaches. They finished well before the crowd started to fill the stands and Marco walked back to their locker room keeping his head low, not really wanting to see the Bayern (nor the BVB) supporters.

Klopp’s pre-game speech was nothing out of the ordinary. He asked them to keep focused and not to get too self-assured or deterred. They were facing the best German team, but they could beat them. The substitutes left for the bench earlier than the starters, but a few Bayern players were already gathering in the hallway leading to the pitch, Mario among them. The brunette grinned when he spotted Marco and drew him into an embrace.

“Good luck, take care!” He whispered into Marco’s ears.

“We’re going to kick your asses!” Marco waved him away with laughter.

He joined his teammates on the bench. He could hear a few booing sounds, but it was nothing out of the ordinary. The match started soon and both teams started to play their own football: Bayern keeping possession, careful not to make any mistakes and waiting for some space to open up, while Dortmund tried to capitalize on their quick counters. But after forty-five minutes, they returned to the locker rooms after a goalless first half. Klopp ordered a few substitutes to do some warming-up, but Marco wasn’t among them, so he went to hear the coach’s half-time speech.

Kloppo specifically asked them to carry on the way they had played and not to get impatient or risking needlessly. But after only thirteen minutes of play, it seemed superfluous. Piszczu drove forward, trying to dribble through the defenders, ultimately losing the ball and allowing space for Ribéry, who netted the goal easily. The stadium went crazy and Klopp couldn’t hide his disappointment. Marco looked at him and they caught each other’s glance. _They need me_ , Marco sent a silent prayer and the coach nodded; a few minutes later he sent all the unused substitutes to warm up.

He heard a few rants coming his way, but he was too focused on his exercises to actually understand the words spat at him. Good five minutes have passed when he saw an assistant signalizing for him to come back to the bench and get ready for play. He jogged there and took off his jacket and set his shin pads right. He got up and started off towards the edge of the technical zone.

“Enjoy yourself and don’t care about anything else.” Klopp said to him, embracing him, before Marco walked next to the fourth official.

The game was stopped for a throw-in and the referee gave a sign for substitution. It was the 70th minute and Kevin jogged off to give place for Marco. The stadium presenter announced the change and when Marco stepped on the pitch a wave of whistle went over the crowd. _What is wrong with them?_ Marco asked silently, but immediately reminded himself that he had a football match to finish.

But it isn’t easy when forty-thousand fans boo at you by every contact with the ball. Marco did his best to ignore them, but it was an impossible task. In his first ten minutes he didn’t have a single useful pass and he was completely broken down. Anger and hatred piled up in him, which lead to a stupid tackle on Philipp that cost him a yellow card.

“Pull yourself together!” Mats shouted at him, clearly mad at someone. Was it the crowd, Marco, himself or Klopp?

It was already in the injury time when Dortmund managed to get a shot on goal through Auba, but Neuer pushed it over the bar. Marco started towards the corner lacking any signs of life and looking at the stands didn’t help at all. He was facing a crush of fans, who were yelling at him and this time he did hear the words meant for him, although he wished he hadn’t.

He put the ball next to the flag, raising his hand to give a signal to his teammates and was about to take the corner when something hit his nape. By the feel of it, it was something cylindrical made out of rubber, but still hard enough to cause some pain. Considering the hateful words still flowing his direction, he didn’t need to look down to have a good guess about what it could have been. All strength left him and he thought he was going to faint, when a figure dressed in red ran past him and started to shout toward the stands.

It took him a few seconds to recognize Mario’s voice. He turned left and saw the midfielder gesticulating angrily. The referee stopped the game again and ran to them to find out what had happened. He was closely followed by the two captains. Philipp pulled Mario back and sent him away to the Bayern goal, while Mats cupped Marco’s face and looked deep into his eyes. Then he took a glance at the ground, spotting the thing that had hit him and Marco could see rage appearing in his eyes. He turned around and rushed at Philipp. Marco could hear the indistinct voices of their raw, which was ended with a desperate shout of the Bayern captain. Then they shared a few words with the referee, who nodded and blew his whistle three times, ending the match.

The stadium went crazy; it looked like they already forgot about Marco. He saw Mats speaking to Erik. The young defender walked to Marco, put his hand around Marco’s waist and drew him towards the locker rooms. Marco got a few apologetic looks from the Bayern bench and Klopp stopped them, saying sorry to Marco.

The duo disappeared in the passageway and rushed to their locker room, with a few photographers already gathering nearby to get a shot of Marco. Once they were inside, Marco walked lifelessly to his spot, slumping down on the bench, burying his face in his hands. Erik stayed leaning against the door, watching his teammate. He had never been angrier and more hurt seeing Marco’s anguish. The worst thing was that he had no idea what to do. Finally, he walked to Marco and sat down next to him.

“Marco.” He started quietly to no answer. “Marco, say something.” The midfielder kept his face hidden but Erik knew he was crying, and how couldn’t he? “Can I help you?”

“No.” Marco shook his head, his voice distorted with pain. “No one can.”

They stayed like this for a few seconds and then, as if he remembered something, Marco opened his bag and got out his phone. He quickly turned it on and called someone, ignoring all the sounds the cell made to signal dozens of missed calls and messages.

 “Can you come here?” He said instead of greeting. “No of course you can’t.– Please, I need you!” He begged with despair. He looked at Erik and sudden realization appeared in his eyes. “I will think of something, just get as close as you can.”

“Marco, what’s going on?” Erik asked, afraid of the frantic look of his teammate.

“Erik, do you remember when you told me I could count on you?”

“Of course, but what–”

“Could you do me a favor? I need you to bring someone here.” He was talking like a madman, but his voice had a hint of hope in it, so Erik took it as improvement, before he said yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Feedback is much appreciated. Share your thoughts and opinion, it keeps me going.


	5. A Second First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the game in Munich Marco makes a big decision. But will it help or will it only cause more trouble?

Klopp got back to the team’s locker room after a completely useless press conference. It wasn’t even about the match, with only the two coaches summing up the game at the beginning. The reporters were interested in one thing: Marco Reus’s comeback and the incident at the end of the match. It was disgusting and Klopp got sick from hearing all the snoopy inquiries. The journalists must have had a morbid fascination with Marco’s affliction and Klopp wanted to punch them right in the face. He had enough after five questions. No matter what he said, the reporters kept asking the same things over and over. Fortunately, the Bayern spokesman realized his annoyance and called off the press conference.

The two coaches shook hands and Guardiola apologized once more for what had happened, but Klopp didn’t really listen to him. He rushed out of the room, towards their locker room. When he stormed in, all eyes were pointed at him. All of his players were expecting solution from him; they thought he would obliterate the whole match, especially the dying minutes. He would if he could, but he was no God. They had to face the reality, no matter how hard it might have been.

He tried to look as calm and confident as possible, even though he was full of anger, doubt and pity himself. He didn’t care about his team, only one player was on his mind, and he started looking for Marco. He was sitting in a corner, head hung low, staring at the floor and listening to a figure crouching in front of him. Klopp frowned; he had no idea who that person was, until he realized with fury it was none of his players.

“Can I ask you who the hell are you and what are you doing in here?” He burst out, rushing at the stranger.

Mats sprung up, trying to stop him. “No, you don’t understand, coach, he’s Marco’s–”

“Number one fan.” The unknown man finished the sentence for the captain.

He got up and turned around to face the coach. Klopp cast an eye on him; he had never seen him and yet, he looked familiar. His short black hair and the mohawk on the top, his clothing and especially his posture gave the impression of someone he should know. But his face was new to him, Klopp was sure of that. He had thin eyebrows, all-knowing blue eyes, straight nose, slightly sunken cheeks and thin lips; he wasn’t a decidedly nice person. Maybe he was a friend of Marco and Klopp had seen him with the player somewhere in Dortmund.

“I think I should wait outside, then.” He sighed, ending the silence between them.

He walked past Klopp with so much confidence and ease that the coach noted he couldn’t be someone close to Marco. Someone close must have been affected by the booing and the pelting. Then who was he? Klopp shook his head and stepped to Marco, placing his hand on the midfielder’s shoulder. Marco looked up and if he hadn’t moved, Klopp would have sworn he was facing a corpse.

Marco’s eyes were empty, not resembling the usual concentration and joy they usually bore. His complexion was pale; he didn’t have the strength to even cry. He looked like he had aged ten years in the past hour.

 “Marco, I’m so sorry– If I knew that this was going to happen, I’d have never let you play.”

“I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to do anything.” Marco sighed and buried his face in his hands.

 

* * *

 

Mario had never experienced such a depressed atmosphere in Bayern’s locker room after a victory. Hell, they were happier after a loss! But no-one of them could understand what had been going on in their stadium, in their home, that was disgraced by their own fans. Mario could not believe; the same people who months earlier cheered at a good performance of Marco for the national team now treated him like the shame of the whole country. What happened to them? Mario wandered.

He couldn’t spend much time with his teammates. They were all buried in their own thoughts, even the ones who hadn’t approved of Marco’s coming out were shocked. Mario stood up and started towards the door, but Philipp blocked his way.

 “Tell him sorry for the whole team.” His captain asked him then let him go.

Mario nodded and stepped outside into the corridor. He turned left, but only could make a few steps before he was stopped by a horde of reporters who shoved microphones in front of him, shouting their questions at the same time, which made every one of them unintelligible.

“Mr. Götze, you were clearly upset at your fans’ reception of Marco Reus. What do you think about the incident today?” One woman was louder than anyone else.

“They brought shame to the whole team.” Mario said quietly, not wanting to be heard, but even if he was, he would stand by his words.

He left behind the journalists who were asked by a few security guards to leave the area close to the locker rooms. The Dortmund part of the ‘backstage’ was already cleared; only one person stood in the narrow hallway. Mario had to take a second look before he believed his eyes. The man was leaning against the wall, hitting it with his right hand in despair, breathing heavily.

“Seb, is that you?” Mario asked shyly, startling the other one. “I didn’t know you were in Munich. How did you get in here?”

“Are you satisfied? Your fans put out a great performance today!” Seb charged at him, pressing the brunette against the wall with his lower arm.

“What the fuck? Do you think I fucking enjoyed it?” Mario shouted angrily and thrust Seb away. “I’m disgusted at them! I had no idea this was going to happen!”

They were looking into each other’s eyes for long moments. If they could kill with their gazes, both of them would have been dead already. The tension finally released and Seb dropped his shoulders, something that was unnatural from him.

“I know, I’m sorry. It’s just so– unbelievable. I mean I feared it wouldn’t be all fluffy, but I hadn’t imagined anything like this. It’s going to destroy Marco.”

“No, you cannot let that happen!” Mario cried out. “He needs you now more than anytime! You need to keep him going, Seb. You’re the only one that can do it. You can’t give up on him! It could only get better than this.”

“Are you sure?” Seb snorted.

“I don’t– It was sheer hatred, it was frightening to see them. I mean, when I play in Dortmund, I can understand the catcalls. But this– this was senseless. Marco never did anything wrong to them.”

“Except being gay.” Seb noted dryly. “That’s enough reason for them.”

“But it’s madness!” Mario cried out. “It won’t go on like this for long. When they will see the records, they will see that this is unacceptable.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Seb said, but his voice bore no signs of conviction.

The door to the Dortmund locker room was opened and a few of the players stepped out, carrying their bags. They apparently encompassed someone and it took no genius to find out whom. Seb and Mario watched the scene in silence, as the small group passed by them. Mario got a glimpse of Marco, although the blonde man with his head hung low didn’t look like his best friend. They were followed by the staff, with Klopp and Mats ending the line. The coach didn’t even seem to notice them, but the defender stepped to the duo, shaking hands with Mario.

“How is he?” The midfielder asked.

“Not good at all. He wouldn’t speak; he’s practically like a ghost.” Mats explained then turned to Seb. “Hey, I think you should come with us by plane. He needs you.”

“Wait, you know about Seb?” Mario asked in surprise.

“How do _you_ know about him?” Mats retorted.

“Now that everyone knows about me, I shall point out that I won’t fly with you back to Dortmund.”

“What?” They both exclaimed at the same time. “You must take care of him. You’re his boyfriend.” Mats continued.

“I am. And while you might be comfortable enough to share this little fact in the team’s locker room or with the whole world, it’s not so simple for us involved. Especially for Marco. I don’t know what he wants. I can’t read his mind. I’ll be by his side, but only at home. And until he decides what he wants to do with our relationship I’d be grateful if you could keep it secret.” He rattled sourly and left the two footballers.

“I see he hasn’t changed a bit.” Mario snorted. “The same old douchebag.”

“How do you know him so well?” Mats asked.

“From my Dortmund years. Marco was already seeing him back then.”

“You’re kidding, right?” Mats’s eyes widened. “How come I didn’t notice?”

“Marco was trying to keep it down.” Mario explained as they started to walk to the Dortmund bus. “He was pretty successful, I might add. No-one suspected anything for nearly two years.”

“Wait, Marco has been lying for two years?”

“Well, I wouldn’t call it lying. He just wasn’t telling the truth. I cannot imagine how hard it must have been. But anyways, he met Seb and they clicked immediately, but I have no idea how. In my opinion Seb is just an offensive prick, who is unable to care about anyone else than himself. And yet, Marco seems to like him.”

“He doesn’t only like him. I guess it’s love from his whole heart.” Mats corrected Mario. “But I can’t understand Seb. We already know Marco has a boyfriend and we all saw them in the locker rooms. Only an idiot wouldn’t get it that they are together. No one would bat an eye if he came with us.”

“Don’t worry; no-one gets him completely. He says only a fraction of what he thinks and he leaves you in doubts all the time. But somehow, whatever he does, it turns out to be the best decision. So if he says Marco needs time alone, I’ll trust him. And please, do so too. Leave him be, Marco will seek your help when he is ready. Alright?” They arrived at the bus.

“Okay, I’ll warn the lads.” Mats nodded.

“Tell everyone we’re sorry for what happened. The team has nothing to do with it.” Mario said apologetically.

“Of course. I never even thought so.” Mats hugged Mario then got in the bus. Mario watched as they embarked on their journey home, knowing that Marco was facing a much harder journey in his thoughts and his soul.

 

* * *

 

Once he landed in Dortmund, Seb drove directly to Marco’s, but there was no sign of the midfielder there. He went home, but once again, only an empty house waited for him. He was panicking. On the flight back he had been thinking and he realized that Mats and Mario were right (although he had trouble admitting in the latter one’s case; their contempt was mutual). He was afraid that he had made the first huge mistake in their relationship and that Marco would misread his actions, especially considering they hadn’t spoken since Klopp sent Seb away from the locker room. He knew Marco well enough to see him jumping to conclusions. He needed to talk to him soon.

There were only two places where Marco could stay. Seb jumped into his car. He ruled out his parent’s house. They must have been worried about Marco, but Seb gathered it was a bit too much for Marco’s liking since he never liked to be tended. So it left only Marcel’s place, which was far more the worst possibility for Seb. If there was anyone from Marco’s friends, who liked Seb less than Mario, it was Marcel. The worst thing about it was that Seb hadn’t given any reason for him to do so. Just like Marco found him in some strange way appealing, his friend decided that they should be enemies from then on.

Seb had been at his place only once and it turned out to be a flying visit after they started to fight and Marco stopped them scolding their childish behavior. So Seb had to concentrate to find the way but he succeeded eventually. _The lion’s lair_ , Seb said to himself as he was walking on the pathway to the door. He rang the ball and waited stooping. If Marcel looked out the peephole and saw him, he stood no chance of talking to Marco.

“What do you want?” Marcel opened the door, his complexion changing from annoyed to more annoyed.

“Talk to Marco.”

“He’s not here.” Marcel said dryly, ready to slam the door in Seb’s face.

“Yes, and I’m a fabulous celebrity.” Seb snorted. “Please, I need to talk to him.”

“Well, I don’t think he should talk to you. Come back later, when he forgets that you left him alone when he needed you the most. But honestly, I hope he never does that.” His words stabbed Seb in his heart.

“Did he say so? Does he think I abandoned him?” Seb stammered.

“Haven’t you?” Marcel asked cynically.

“Alright, I heard enough of it! Let me in!” Seb cried out, trying to push his way into the house.

“If you make another step, I’ll call the police.” Marcel shot a threatening glance at him.

“Marcel.” A feeble voice came from inside.

It was Marco’s, who was leaning against the back wall of the anteroom. Marcel was taken aback by his appearance and Seb used his hesitation to step inside the house. It didn’t take long for Marcel to react. He grabbed his shoulders and tried to shove him out, but Seb pushed aside his hands.

“Just stop it finally!” Marco probably wanted to shout, but he only managed a gasp.

“Should I go?” Seb asked Marco, looking straight into his eyes.

The blonde shook his head and walked back to the living room. Seb followed him. Marco’s bag was lying in the corner and an untouched glass of water stood on the coffee table. Nothing suggested that the midfielder did anything except for sitting in the armchair the all evening.

“Keep it short.” Marcel warned him as he stopped in the doorway, looking at the two of them ready to interfere.

“Marco, I don’t know what to say. I understand if you’re mad at me and I’m sorry for not staying by your side. But you have to look at it from my point of view. You didn’t say anything after the match and I didn’t know what to do, what _you_ wanted me to do. So I decided it was for the best if I let things stay the way they were for the time being, that’s why I didn’t come with you in the plane. And I was afraid. I tried to be the tough guy all the time, pretending that these things didn’t affect me at all and that you could get through this easily. But the truth is I’m not sure I have the strength to support you. Not alone.” He looked at a bewildered Marcel. “So I want you to know that I will be there for you as long as you want me to be here. And I will accept whatever your decision might be.” His monolog was followed by a long silence.

“Why are you speaking as if you were afraid I wanted to dump you?” Marco asked finally. “If I wanted to have an attached boyfriend, I wouldn’t have started seeing you in the first place.” He smiled. “I won’t get rid of you to make my life easier if that’s what you meant. I could never do that and I know you know that as well. The genie is out of the bottle, half of the world already hates me and me having or not having a boyfriend will not change it.”

“Thank you.” Seb sighed. He was surprised by the way Marco understood his worries. “So what’s next for– us?”

“I want to make us public. I want to go out with you in the city and finally be myself. I mean if it’s okay with you.”

“What?” Marcel exclaimed. They almost forgot he was there in the room. “Marco, have you gone completely mad? Did he brainwash you? Would you risk your career for _him_? I know your upset because of today and that’s why you shouldn’t make any rash decisions.”

“Thanks for your concern, but I’m not brainwashed. I’m not doing it for Seb, well not entirely. I had thought that if I kept everything down and we didn’t show together outside, people would accept me and would leave me alone. I was wrong. So it seems I can finally be myself. I won’t care about what people will say, because honestly, after today I couldn’t mind them less. And if I have to stop playing football, so be it. But I hope that if they see that I’m happy despite their every effort, they will give it up.”

“It can work.” Seb put the analytical part of his mind to work. “And don’t worry; you will not have to stop playing. Klopp wouldn’t let you do that.”

“You’re both completely out of your minds!” Marcel snorted. “I mean I support you, Marco, but I think you’re making a mistake. I think you should wait until the first wave of uproar recedes and _then_ come out with Seb. Have you already forgotten how hateful the fans were today? If you started showing off it would only annoy them much more.”

“No I haven’t forgotten that they threw a dildo at me, thanks for reminding.” Marco burst out. As he said it out loud, it made the incident tangible all of a sudden, sending the other two into deep silence. “Maybe you’re right: maybe they will hate and despise me even more. But there will be one subtle difference. This time I won’t have to face it all by myself.”

 

* * *

 

For the next days, Marco asked for time off and Klopp was more than happy to give it to him. He probably had pangs of conscience and Marco was willing to exploit them. They observed the developments from Marco’s house, which was closely monitored by reporters at first, but a police car passing by more often than usual finally persuaded them to leave the neighborhood. The papers still had a lot to talk about; _Der Klassiker_ was front page news everywhere with a public outrage surrounding the fans’ behavior.

Watzke helped the publicity by openly criticizing the Bayern management’s approach: “If you don’t stand up against xenophobia you should not be surprised that something like this happens. Bayern Munich were the only big German team that hadn’t issued a statement about Marco’s coming out and now the supporters did it for them. Although I don’t think the board approves of what had happened, I do feel they are responsible for it in part and I hope they will take part in the now widespread campaign for a more acceptant football world. Such hooliganism has no place in modern football and I urge the football association to prevent any further similar occurrences.”

Bayern didn’t wait long for an answer. Immediately after the game they publicly apologized for their supporters’ acts and they promised a thorough investigation so the ones responsible would be punished. But they still didn’t show direct support to Marco and he didn’t really mind it. Despite all their efforts, Bayern still had to play a home game behind closed doors, with two other games forbidden to the ultras.

After two days, the newspapers started to inform about Marco’s reclusion. The wildest theories emerged but Marco ignored them all. One reporter even suggested that he was retiring from football and had already moved abroad. Although Marco fancied the prospect, he wasn’t going to give up so easily and Seb made sure about it. They planned every single step of their coming out very carefully. They had the upper hand and they could use it in any possible way.

“I can mention us in a press conference and then the story will come to its own life.” Marco suggested as they were watching an exhaustive news report about his ‘crusade’, as the media called it.

“Nah, then we will be only an attraction and we could lose control. We should do it inconspicuously. Like why don’t we go out on a date? We never really had a proper one. I guess there will be only a few photos taken by civilians and the press will be dying to get more information.”

“But we will not give it to them, right? I still don’t want to make a big fuss about us. You know, just like we were a normal couple.”

“Agreed.” Seb nodded. “Since we _are_ a normal couple.”

“Well, you know what I meant.” Marco explained. “Are you sure you want to do this? I don’t want you to go through this all only because of me.”

“No, I’m doing it for myself too.” Seb shook his head. “All these years I’ve been running away, pushing away people from me so I wouldn’t have anything to lose. But you were right: I cannot keep living like this.”

“I’m proud of you.” Marco said overwhelmed.

“Don’t put it like this.” Seb snorted playfully. “There’s nothing heroic in it. Actually it’s quite selfish.”

“You’re not completely normal, you know that, right?” Marco laughed. “Anyway, I want to ask you about the team. I’d like to make us official to them before they read it in the papers.”

“Okay, when do you have the next bring-your-love-to-work day?”

“Well, I was thinking about tomorrow.”

“What?” Seb cried out in surprise.

“I don’t want to miss much time just sitting at home and I know you are afraid that it’s too early, but I want to train at least. Don’t worry, nothing wrong can happen to me there.”

“And where do I come in?”

“I don’t know yet, but it would be fair to let them know about our plan.”

“I don’t think they have much to do with it.” Seb tried to back out.

“Wait!” Marco exclaimed as he realized what was going on. “You are afraid of them and that they won’t like you!” He laughed as if it was the most hilarious thing in the world.

“Shut up, I’m not afraid!” Seb pouted but his voice revealed him. “It’s just all new to me. I have never been in a public relationship with a world-class footballer.”

“But you want to be, right?” Marco asked teasingly. Seb leaned over and answered with a kiss. They soon got lost in the contact, parting only when they were both gasping for air.

The next thing Marco did was call Klopp and tell him that he wanted to get back to training. The coach was eager to have him back and immediately promised to keep the press out, and was pretty surprised when Marco objected. But he didn’t ask anything, probably because he knew he wouldn’t get any more explanation. Eventually Seb persuaded Marco that it was enough if he told his teammates about him, they didn’t really need to meet him in person; they would do it on some other occasion.

 

* * *

 

So the next morning Marco left his house on his own, driving to BVB’s training grounds. Countless photographers were waiting next to the fence. Their hunger for some first-hand shots repelled Marco but they were doing their job after all. He stopped at their coach and let him in on their plans. Klopp didn’t say a thing, but Marco could see that he wasn’t convinced it was the right move. But at that point no one could discourage him. He also wanted to speak to the team before training and he got an opportunity to do so.

“First of all I want to thank you all for the support you showed so far. I might have not shown it, but it helped me a lot. It was good to know I had such a great company standing behind me. I won’t say that what happened in Munich didn’t affect me a bit, and I don’t expect any easier games for me in the near future, but I made a decision. You already know that I’m in a relationship and most of you already saw my boyfriend. Well, we decided that we will go public and I thought I should tell you before you learn it from the papers. That’s it for me; I guess we have another game to get ready for.”

He didn’t like the way he had to explain himself and talk about something this private, but it still seemed the right thing to do. After he finished he looked at Mats and saw pride in the defender’s eyes, who nodded in approval. It felt like he had finally gotten rid of a big burden. He didn’t know if it was him, but it looked like his teammates finally came to terms with his homosexuality and they found a way to deal with it. He could still recognize the pity in their glances but he reacted to it better. He could finally find someone to speak to in the short breaks they had or even during exercises. It wasn’t completely like it used to be but at least it resembled what was normal. When he got home, Seb wasn’t there, he arrived an hour after Marco.

“Where have you been?”

“I was preparing my folks that their son will be a front page celebrity soon.” Seb said with a huge smile.

“So you haven’t changed your mind? Today it is?”

Seb nodded. “I hope you’re taking me to some expensive place.”

Marco burst out laughing. He was exhausted after training but it was the kind of tiredness that felt good and could be deflated very easily. And Seb was an expert on that. As he was getting ready for the dinner, he felt like people do before their first date and in a sense it was. He had never gone out with anyone. He almost wanted to back down, but he had promised himself that he’d go through with it, no matter what. But he still recoiled when they stepped outside.

“What’s wrong?” Seb looked back at him worried.

“Nothing.” Marco took a deep breath. “Let’s go.”

“Okay. But don’t forget one very important thing.”

“What?” Marco asked bewilderedly.

“That we love each other and we’re glad that we’re together.” Seb whispered playfully and reached out for Marco’s hand.

Marco’s first instinct was to pull back, just like he had done in the past years, but he commanded himself and they entangled their fingers. It was a strange feeling. Marco couldn’t think of many other occasions when they held each other’s hands, definitely not in public. It was totally absurd; they had been together for two years and he didn’t even know how Seb’s hands felt like in his own. Surprisingly, they filled him with confidence. A faint smile appeared on his face as they got into his car and drove to the city. No one seemed to understand why he loved Seb so much, but this was the reason. No matter what he came up with, Seb – although he usually gave voice to his disagreement – carried through and sometimes Marco would have stopped without his support.

They went to an elegant restaurant where they could have the privacy for a date, but they still weren’t too secluded not to be seen. And indeed, all eyes were fixated on them as they were ushered to their table. They sat down facing each other but Seb soon slipped over to him, putting his hand on his waist.

“I couldn’t stand seeing those puzzled faces.” Seb whispered and planted a kiss on his cheek.

“I think you’re overacting.” Marco couldn’t hide his blush. He felt like they were two schoolboys who had just made a mischief.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be pushy.” Seb smiled then sat back opposite to Marco.

They had a pleasant dinner. Sometimes it felt awkward but it was understandable, given that it really was the first time they were out like a couple. When they got up, everyone looked at them again and Seb holding his hand started a wave of whispers. But no one spoke up to them, which calmed Marco. He feared the whole evening that something horrible would happen but it seemed that his concerns were unfounded.

Out in the street, Seb suggested they took a walk and although Marco wanted to go home before anything went bad, he agreed. He had to get out of his comfort zone. If they were going to be a real couple, he had to face his dreads. And once again, they got nothing worse than disapproving looks and quiet whispers, but he could cope with them. And whenever a ruder comment caught their ears, Seb squeezed his hand in encouragement.

It was close to a perfect evening. When they got home, Marco called his mom to let her know that everything went fine. She reassured him that they did the right thing and she was proud of them. As he hung up, Seb appeared in the doorway with two glasses of beer.

“I’m having training tomorrow.” Marco objected.

“That’s why I didn’t ask you.” Seb replied as he handed Marco one of them. They both took a sip. “Hey, listen, about what happened in the restaurant. I really didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, sorry. But I had this urge to kiss you and–”

“Seb, I enjoyed it. In fact, I hope you still have a similar urge.” He said with a suggestive smile.

“Oh, really?” Seb put his beer on the table and sat into Marco’s lap, straddling him. He leant closer and stopped just before Marco’s face teasingly. The midfielder put his hand on his nape and pulled him into a kiss. Their lips met and it was finally a familiar feeling. They knew so well what made the other one really happy and they found their way easily to that sweet spot in each other’s mouths. Their tongues joined a crazy passionate dance and they had to adjust the angle of their heads time to time. Both of them were gasping for air when they finally parted. Seb sighed and rested his head on Marco’s forehead.

“Wait, I was thinking maybe I could post a photo of us on the net. If it’s okay for you.” Marco said hesitantly.

“Whatever.” Seb agreed and got off Marco, slumping down next to him.

The midfielder reached for his phone and took a shot of them leaning against each other, their heads touching. He quickly typed in an accompanying text and showed it to Seb.

“Not bad, huh?”

“Wait, can I add something to it?” Seb asked, already pushing a few buttons on Marco’s phone.

“Really?” Marco asked with lifted eyebrows when he read the tag Seb added.

“They owe you this much.” They both burst out laughing and Marco shared the picture.

 

_After two years finally together openly. Thx for a fantastic evening. #echteliebe #miasanmia_

 

The next morning pictures of them emerged on the front page again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for now, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for the kudos and your wonderful comments. Please, share your thoughts on this chapter or the fic in whole. I'm writing this to entertain myself and you, but also to learn something and I won't do that if I don't get some (constructive) criticism. I'd really like to know your opinion about the course of this story and what do you think would/should happen next.


	6. Strangers in the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You are like a god to them so you can’t make anything bad. Trust me, I know how they think. I’ve been feeling the same way about you for the past years."

They could both hardly get any sleep that night. Marco lied on his back, staring at the ceiling, hugging Seb with one hand. So many thoughts crossed his mind. He was glad that they made a step forward; he felt it would help their relationship too, but he wasn’t sure about the timing. What if Marcel was right and they were just adding fuel to the fire? He only looked at it from his own point of view, but what would the majority think? He wasn’t convinced they’d be so supportive. Maybe they would think that he ‘sold out’ for some gay pride movement, what was very far from the truth. He never liked those gays who tried to push their beliefs on the majority by overacting and shouting discrimination everywhere. All Marco wanted to do was live a happy life with his love, undisturbed by any strangers.

Seb breathed evenly next to him and with his shut eyes he looked like he was sleeping but Marco knew him enough to know he wasn’t. He must have fought with the same doubts, only he was better at not showing them. They snuggled closer to each other, trying to serve as shields between them and the troubling thoughts. It didn’t really work, but at least it put Seb to sleep. If he was dreaming, they were nightmares, as he was groaning and he woke up minutes later kicking the sheets (and Marco). Marco didn’t ask anything, he just kissed Seb’s forehead and drew him into an even tighter embrace. Just before dawn, Marco finally got asleep and when he woke up, the bed next to him was empty.

He got up and took a cold shower in hope that it could rid him of his fatigue. He was making breakfast when Seb came back from his morning run all sweaty. He walked into the kitchen with confident steps and tossed a newspaper on the table.

“Did you really have to bring _this_ here?” Marco pointed at the print. He had to try hard not to concentrate on the T-shirt sticking to Seb’s body, revealing the outline of his muscles.

“I wanted to read the news.” Seb shrugged, getting a bottle of water from the fridge. He opened it and started drinking hastily. He almost choked though and spilled the fluid on his cheek, drops of water falling on his chest.

_If he’s trying to get my attention, he’s doing it damn well._ Marco thought half-angrily, half-wistfully. “You had nightmares.” He noted trying to start a conversation before he’d jump at Seb driven with lust.

“Yes, I did.” Seb nodded. He decided to take big gulps of water instead of drowning himself.

“About what?” Marco asked.

“It’s nothing.”

“Seb, I want to know.”

“Marco, leave it. It was a stupid dream.” Seb waved him off.

“No, Seb!” Marco snapped. “If we are up to finally having a meaningful relationship, we have to share even our dreams with each other.”

“Alright.” Seb sighed. “I’ve always wanted to be a football analyst or a rock star. Neither of them worked out.” He added mockingly and put an apologetic peck on Marco’s cheek before he slipped off the kitchen, running away from Marco’s chiding.

Marco sighed when he heard the bathroom door slammed shut behind Seb. Alright, they definitely needed to talk about some new rules. He finished preparing his breakfast and sat down to eat. He picked up the newspaper. He was looking at the selfie they took the day before along with a few pictures of them walking hand in hand that must have been taken by a few enthusiastic readers who thought it was their right to know about the lives of celebrities. Marco almost lost his appetite when he read the title printed in big letters.

 

_REUS’S ANSWER: TWO YEARS OF LYING – OVER!_

 

His stomach made a full turn before he continued reading the article, despite his common sense dictating him to stop. The author went into a detailed description of Marco’s and Seb’s evening, which felt like an intrusion on their privacy. He even asked for a psychologist’s opinion about the consequences of living a double life! Marco could only read halfway through, he crumpled the paper into a big ball and threw it into the bin.

“Hey, I was going to read it!” Seb entered the kitchen, drying up his hair with a towel.

“Why the fuck did you bring it here?” Marco snapped, his voice full of anger.

“Whoa, whoa, stop!” Seb put up his hands in defense. “Disgusting as it is, we must know what they write, if we want to be up-to-date. Otherwise, it might get out of control.”

“You know, maybe it was a mistake. Maybe we should have remained secret.”

“What?” Seb dropped his jaw. Marco’s words hurt him more than they should have. It all sounded to him like Marco wasn’t sure about them. Maybe he wasn’t proud of their relationship? Maybe he didn’t want to show up with him? “Is it still about that stupid nightmare?”

“It’s not about that. You’re taking this coming-out business as if it was an operation. You’re planning and all, and in the meantime you forget to ask me what I want.”

“ _I_ don’t ask you what you want? This whole going public thing was your idea!” Seb retorted.

“I know, but after that you took charge. I wanted to keep it down, we didn’t. I wanted you to meet the team, you did not.” Marco listed.

“I didn’t meet them because there was no reason for me to meet them.” Seb snorted.

“I just don’t know if I can trust you, Seb.” Marco sighed exhausted.

“What are you talking about?” Seb stammered. This was serious stuff, he realized. “Have you been talking to Marcel?” He snarled.

“Why does it always have to be him?” Marco yelled.

“Marco, the guy hates me. He wouldn’t say thanks if I saved his life. I’m not sure he would even accept my help!”

“Well, you didn’t give him much reason to like you.” Marco retorted.

They fell into a deep silence. Unspoken words hung in the air, but neither of them wanted to utter them. Marco couldn’t think of any other occasion they had a fight and he really didn’t want to have their first one right now. Not when they needed each other so much. Not when there was no turning back.

“What’s got into us, Seb?” Marco sighed.

“I tell you. Ever since you told a few of your friends about our relationship, you started to care about their opinions. Before that it was only us that really mattered, and we worked great together.”

“Oh, right, so it’s all my fault?” Marco snapped. “You’re unbelievable! This happens every single time! Only I can be at fault, because you are the perfect human being that can never even make a mistake!”

“What are you talking about, Marco?” Seb asked taken aback. “Every time? I’m not saying it’s your fault, but _I’m_ not the one that cares about anyone else.”

“The problem is that you seem to stopped caring about me.” Marco mumbled.

“I’ve had enough of this.” Seb snorted and started off.

“Yeah, just walk away! That’s the only thing you’re good at.” Marco called out to him. Seb stopped in the doorway for a second then continued. A few minutes later he walked out from the house.

 

* * *

 

Mats noticed that something was wrong the moment Marco entered the locker room. He hadn’t been the team’s resident jokester lately, but his eyes were gloomier than what was usual for him in the past weeks. He walked straight to his locker, slammed his training bag on the bench and practically tore the door open. Mats sighed as he hauled off and started off Marco’s way.

“What’s wrong?” He asked cautiously, trying not to cause much attention from their teammates, but Marco made all his efforts needless.

“Leave me alone! I’m fine!” He snapped as he shook off Mats’s hand from his shoulder maybe a bit too harshly.

The BVB captain took a deep breath and grabbed Marco’s arm, pulling him into the hallway angrily. As the locker room’s door closed behind them, he pushed the midfielder against the wall and blocked him on either side. Marco refused to look at him; he stared at his shoes, ashamed.

“Now you listen to me, Mister!” Mats yelled. “We understand that you’re not going through an easy period and we are ready to give you every support you need, but that doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want. We’re not going to take your shit forever, Marco. This all doesn’t justify you to act like a complete dick! We expect you to work hard and give your best in trainings. I know something’s wrong and I won’t push you. If you want to tell me, you will, if not, then you won’t. I’ll respect your private life, but I won’t accept any behavior like this, you understand? We are all behind you and some gratefulness isn’t too much to ask for.”

“You don’t get this all, so don’t try to pretend you know what I’m going through!” Marco shouted back, shoving his captain, but Mats stood still.

“I’ve never said that. I can’t even imagine what it’s like and honestly, I don’t want to know. But if you can’t control your troubles, they will ruin first your career and then your life.”

“Oh, now you’re that all-caring good guy again?” Marco snorted sarcastically. “Spare me, please.”

“Alright, that’s enough from the two of you!” Klopp’s voice snapped. They hadn’t even realized the coach was watching them. “Mats get ready for training. Marco you’re coming with me.” He left no space for objections.

Mats shot another furious glance at Marco then let him go. Marco followed their trainer, his head hung low. Okay, maybe he was overreacting, but he felt he wasn’t the only one to blame. Firstly, there was Mats, always annoying him with empty questions and solacing words. He was really getting enough of it – why couldn’t they just let him cope with the situation on his own, in his own way? But foremost, it was Seb’s fault.

Marco couldn’t understand what happened to his boyfriend. He had changed and he did it by one night. Marco still could recall he felt like everything was perfect last evening and then, in the morning, Seb made him question their relationship. It wasn’t that he didn’t love him anymore, but he wanted to know more about him but Seb gave away the least that was possible. It wasn’t enough for Marco. He had hoped that their coming out would finally end this mystery and they would be more honest with each other. But now he was getting the feeling that maybe their now-public relationship wasn’t better from the secret one at all.

Klopp led him into his office and offered him a seat before he sat down. He didn’t say anything for some time and Marco cast a glance at his coach. Klopp did his best to look relaxed but Marco could notice that he was angry and– disappointed. He ran his fingers through his hair before he spoke up.

“Marco, I’ll be honest with you: I don’t know what’s come into you, but you’re losing your footing. I admit I had my share in it. I shouldn’t have rushed you back to playing, and I’m sorry for what happened in Munich, but I trusted you. You looked so enthusiastic to get back as soon as possible that you made me believe that you shut your personal life off from the pitch. I was wrong. You’re losing it on every level, Marco, I don’t know if you realize that. I didn’t want to pry into your privacy, but I warned you that if it affects your game, we’re done. You need to pull yourself together and I don’t want to have you back earlier than that. Go home and don’t come back until everything’s clear to you.”

“So that’s it for all that shit, right?” Marco looked at his trainer who was taken aback by his words. “All those warnings that anyone mistreating me should start looking for another team– you didn’t mean it. In the end, I’m the one that has to go, right?”

“I was talking about your homosexuality and not your behavior. Maybe it doesn’t worry you, but you almost attacked your captain there. And no-one can do that in my team. Marco, I’m not kicking you out. I’m trying to help. You asked Mats to leave you alone. I’m giving you an opportunity to be alone. I’ll be glad to welcome you back once you act like a professional again.”

 

* * *

 

Marcel was waiting impatiently in front of Marco’s house. After Klopp sent him away from training, Mats called him and Marcel drove to the blonde’s house immediately. If Marco was sent away, something was wrong, very wrong. There was a chance that he had arrived even before Marco could, but almost an hour passed since then and Marcel was getting more worried. Maybe it was only that Marco needed some time to clear his mind and took a round in the city, but he presumed he rather went to Seb’s place and Marcel got angry by the prospect of it.

How couldn’t Marco see that they weren’t meant for each other at all? He never really enjoyed Seb’s presence but he could accept it when the two of them were only friends. But after that – before Marco told him – he realized there was more between them than friendship. Marco’s gayness was no surprise for him; he got the subtle signs a lot earlier. The midfielder always tried to change the subject whenever they talked about girls and Marcel couldn’t recall a relationship of Marco. The footballer tried to explain it with his focus on his career but Marcel was smarter than that and was happy for him when he got together with Seb.

And Marco did look happy at the dawn of their relationship. They were of course careful enough not to show any signs of affection in public but the sparkle in Marco’s eyes gave him away to Marcel. He tried to do his best to show support for Marco even though he didn’t like Seb. But soon things changed and Marcel saw their relationship was slowly dying. He tried to explain it with them concealing everything; after all, secrets are doomed to kill a romance, but nothing happened after Marco came out to his closest friends. Marco and Seb became the band still playing on a sinking ship. They were still crazy about each other, that was clear, but their minds weren’t blinded by their love anymore. They were disappointed but refused to admit it. Marcel did his best to persuade Marco to end this misery that only hurt both of them, but the blonde was ready to cling onto their love until the last moment.

Marcel was about to leave when Marco’s Aston Martin turned around the corner. The midfielder stopped in his driveway and didn’t seem to notice his friend. Marcel had to hurry to catch up to him before he disappeared in the house.

“Marcel, what are you doing here?” Marco asked surprised when he turned around and finally saw Marcel.

“I thought I’d stop by. How come you’re not at training?” Marcel tried to pretend he was clueless.

“Wait. You thought I was at training but you stopped by?” Marco retorted.

Marcel sighed. “Why don’t we have a talk?”

They sat down in Marco’s living room and stared before themselves for a few minutes. Marcel didn’t want to be pushy: the mere fact that Marco let him in showed that he wanted to talk it was only a matter of time that he spoke up.

“We had a fight.” Marco said dryly while rubbing his nape. “I don’t really know or why. I guess it has been coming. We never really spoke; we were busy only loving each other and for some time it was enough. But this hardship seems too much for us.”

“Marco, it would be too much for almost every relationship.” Marcel solaced him tenderly. He didn’t really know why he said it. He would have jumped at any other occasion that could help him make Marco get rid of Seb. But now as he saw his friend’s despair he asked himself what would be the best for Marco. And he hated to admit it, but maybe Seb was the answer.

“This is different.” Marco shook his head. “He won’t change and I don’t want him to. But– he should be more understanding. I realized it a lot longer ago but this news only made everything worse. He’s nothing like you. You are there for me all the time and you listen to me. He urges me to go on, but I need time. I listened to him and I was impatient with myself and it did no good.”

“Marco. You know that I don’t like Seb, but you can’t blame everything on him. Have you talked to him about what’s wrong?”

“I haven’t. Thinking about it, I don’t really know what’s wrong. I mean, I wish he’d care more about what I want, but I don’t know what I want. I’m full of doubts. I want to keep playing football but I’m unsure whether I can ever be as good as I used to be. I wonder if the hateful voices will ever fade away. I wonder if I ever get accepted.”

“Don’t say that, Marco! You must keep fighting!”

“Why?” Marco asked in a raw voice. “It’s all pointless and I’m tired of it. Maybe it would be for the best if I just hid somewhere and never showed up again. Maybe it would make things right between Seb and me.”

“Can I ask you something?” Marcel tried to take his mind off these gloomy thoughts. “Why do you stick to Seb? I mean I don’t see any reason that you should keep on seeing him. I never saw.”

“It’s nothing that can be seen or said. You wouldn’t understand and I couldn’t describe it. It’s that next to him I can never think about giving up. He believes in me more than I do. And I admit he’s a prick most of the time, but he never means bad to anyone. It’s just _him_. He lived through a lot, he was hurt a lot and I guess that’s the way he prevents getting hurt again. But he doesn’t realize that he’s pushing away the closest ones next to him in the meantime.”

“I think you should tell him this before you make any decision.” Marcel muttered.

“How come you’re suddenly on his side?” Marco smiled.

“I’m on no-one’s side. But it’d be unfair to him if you didn’t give him a chance, if you didn’t tell him how you felt.”

Marco answered with a humming sound and he lost himself in his thoughts. Marcel stayed at his place for the rest of the day. They talked about lot of things and it was their first real discussion since Marco’s homosexuality was made public. He didn’t help Marco settle what he wanted but he put him on the right track. He left early in the evening and Marco decided to go to bed. He didn’t hear from Seb, not that he had expected any word from him. Seb wasn’t the kind of guy that would come back crawling on his knees and ask for forgiveness, especially since he didn’t really have anything to feel sorry for.

Marco was fast asleep and was having a dreamless sleep when he was awaken by the ringing of his phone. Before he checked who the caller was, he looked at the time. It was almost one a.m. and there was only one person that would rouse him at that ungodly hour. He yawned before he answered the phone.

“Hey, Seb. Look, it’s not really–”

“ _Herr_ Reus?” He was cut short by a woman’s voice. Marco got wide awake immediately and sat up in the bed.

“Yes, who’s there?”

“I’m doctor Karla Storp.” _Doctor?_ Marco said to himself. What the hell was happening? “I’m sorry to disturb you but I thought I should call you.”

“Is everything alright? Where’s Seb?” Marco was all nerves.

“ _Herr_ Kruse was hauled to our hospital earlier this night.” She spoke detachedly. “Now, you’re not on his list of persons to inform but I read the papers today and–”

“What’s happened to him?” Marco exclaimed, his voice full of panic.

“There’s no reason for you to worry much.” She added the last word after a considerable silence. “Could you come in, please? We might need medical information on your boyfriend.”

“I’ll be there!” Marco shouted, already getting out his clothes from the closet.

She thanked him but he barely listened. His brain was on fire, a million of thoughts attacking him at the same time. She didn’t say what had happened and maybe it was for the best. Even though he was left in doubts, Marco knew he couldn’t bear bad news. He grabbed his car keys and rushed out of his house.

He didn’t know how he made it to the hospital. His mind was shattered into thousands of pieces and he was unable to have a single thought. He was just staring out the windshield trying to avoid any collisions. He stopped before the hospital’s entrance and ran into the lobby. It was empty, only a security guard and the nurse on duty looking at him questioningly.

“Hello, um– I’m here to see Sebastian Kruse. He was brought in tonight.” He didn’t really know what to say, it was the first time he found himself in a similar situation.

The nurse typed something into her computer then looked at him expressionlessly. “I’m sorry, but you’re not on his list. You should come back in the morning in the visiting hours.”

“Oh, come on!” Marco burst out. “Don’t pretend that you don’t know who I am. I’m sure you’ve read the papers today. You know exactly that he’s my boyfriend!”

“Honestly, I don’t really care how you call yourself or him. You’re not on the list and you can’t go in there.”

“It’s okay, Agathe.” A young woman appeared in the door leading to the emergency rooms. She must have been Dr. Storp, Marco presumed. “I’ve informed _Herr_ Reus. Please, come this way.” She turned to Marco. Marco took a few steps in her way before he was stopped by the nurse’s voice.

“But it’s against the protocol!” She shouted.

“Then report it!” Dr. Storp retorted, placing a hand on Marco’s back and guided him into the emergency department. She turned to face Marco and continued in a friendly voice. “I’m sorry about that. I didn’t want to give you further details over the phone not to upset you. Your boyfriend was attacked. He was taken care of and his state is fair, which means that he’s stable and conscious but he’s in some pain.”

“He was attacked? But why, how?” Marco couldn’t process her words.

“That’s for the police to find out. I won’t say that _Herr_ Kruse is in top shape, but it could be worse. He has a cracked rib, three broken fingers, a lot of bruises and we had to stitch his eyebrow. But fortunately there’s no damage to his organs and no internal bleeding so he should be able to leave the hospital soon.”

She meant it encouragingly, but it couldn’t reassure Marco. All he could think of was the image of Seb getting hit and kicked in a dark alley. His hands started shaking and all strength left his body.

“Can I see him?” He stammered.

Dr. Storp nodded and turned around showing Marco the way. He followed her lifelessly. There are moments when you are so powerless that you can only stare out of your head, but it was nothing compared to what Marco felt that moment. They stopped before an open door.

“There he is.” Dr. Storp pointed inside the ward. “As I’ve said he’s conscious, but we gave him strong painkillers so his speech might be blurred and confused.” She turned around, ready to leave.

“Wait, doctor!” Marco stopped her. “What about the information that you needed?”

“Oh, we already know everything we need. I just wanted to let you know what to say if someone asked you why you were here.” She smiled and left.

It was good to have friends everywhere, Marco thought. He took a deep breath and stepped inside the ward. There was an empty bed in the room; the other one was occupied by Seb. When Marco saw his face he almost broke down and rushed out. It was full of purple bruises and his eyebrow was so swollen that he couldn’t open his left eye and there was still some blood left on his lower lip. He breathed shallowly. Marco walked to his bed and looked at him. If Seb noticed him, he didn’t give any signs of it. They stayed silent for long minutes that felt unbearable to Marco. It was Seb who broke the silence.

“I dreamed about this.” He spoke slowly and Marco could hear that speaking hurt him. “This morning. I didn’t tell you, because every normal boyfriend would have been worried about you and not himself.”

“Seb–” Marco whispered, a few tears escaping his eyes. “Who did this to you?”

“I don’t know, but they’ve mentioned your name a lot. They weren’t happy I seduced you.”

“I’m so sorry. My own fans?” The thought seemed so absurd.

“That’s why they beat me and not you. You are like a god to them so you can’t make anything bad. Trust me, I know how they think. I’ve been feeling the same way about you for the past years.” He smiled and Marco wasn’t sure whether it was honest or was it the drugs that made him say something like that.

“Seb, I’m sorry about what I said in the morning.”

“No, you’re only sorry because I’ve got beaten up.” It was frightful how he could read Marco’s thoughts even when the midfielder couldn’t. “You meant it. And you were right. I’m unable to maintain a normal relationship. You stuck to me and I was never grateful for that. I would have never fought for you. Marcel was right about me: you deserve someone much better.”

“No Seb. You are the only one I ever needed. You did for me much more than you realize.” Marco rattled and he made a long pause before he continued. “I’m giving it up, Seb. I’m retiring. This is too much for me.”

“Could you lean closer?” Seb said in a weak voice. Marco had no idea what he wanted to do but he obeyed. Seb swung his hand and the sudden move made him sore, so when he reached Marco’s face, it was nothing more than a tender caress, but his intention was clear: he wanted to slap him for what he said. “No, you won’t do that! You need to keep fighting Marco! Don’t let them stop you because if you do, they win.”

“But they hurt you!” Marco whined.

“I’ve had my fair share of punches in my life. I’m willing to take a few more for you.” Seb smiled. “Deal?”

“Deal.” Marco nodded, and it hurt him to hold back his tears gathered in his eyes.

“How was training today? How did they react to us?” Seb asked.

“Klopp sent me home. I wasn’t behaving properly. He said I needed time to sort my thoughts.” Marco said and in an attempt to change the subject he added. “Can I get you anything?”

“No. Just think about what you want. And then get back to training as soon as possible. I’ll wait for your answer and won’t run away.” He added smiling, his eyes closing.

As if someone had called her, Dr. Storp appeared in the door. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but you should go now. He needs some rest. We will transport him to a different department in the morning, you can visit him then.” She said quietly.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, alright?” Marco whispered and leant over to kiss Seb, but he judged it wouldn’t help him at all, so he straightened up. In the end, he kissed his own fingers and put them carefully on Seb’s forehead. He was already asleep.

Marco turned around and walked out the room. He wanted to punch something to get out his anger but he only let out a sigh and buried his head in his hands.

“He’s going to be fine, don’t worry.” Dr. Storp rubbed his back gently. “He’s in good care.”

Marco nodded and turned to face her. “Thank you for calling me. You didn’t have to and I appreciate it.”

“No problem. I’ve followed your story and that was the least I could do to support you.” She smiled.

“Could you give me a call if something happens?” He asked shyly.

“Sure.”

Marco nodded in thankfulness and left the ward. He walked out through the lobby, getting a disapproving glance from the nurse. The cold night brought him back to his senses. He was exhausted. Not physically, but mentally. He had tried to conceal how much the proceedings really affected him, but they were doomed to emerge at once. He sat into his car and started the engine. He didn’t want to go home to an empty house. He wouldn’t get his mind off Seb. Instead, he decided to take a drive in the city.

And then he stopped at a pub. When he entered the barman told him they were already closing but he was willing to sell him a few bottles of beer and tactful enough not to ask anything. Marco packed his purchase into a plastic bag and walked into a nearby park. He sat down on a bench and emptied one bottle after another. He had never been a good drinker and he got squiffy very soon. He didn’t like the taste of it but he didn’t plan to stop. When he realized what he was doing he was already blind drunk.

He tried to collect the empty bottles but he only managed to knock them over so he decided to leave them that way. He stood up and the world suddenly started to turn around really fast. He tried to walk but every step threatened with him tripping, so he was basically bouncing from one tree to the other. Somehow he made it to a street lamp which was an accomplishment on its own and on the top of that he managed not to throw up. He needed to sit down so he leaned against a fence and slid down to the ground.

He saw a couple walking on the street but he didn’t care about them until someone shouted his name. The voice was familiar but he was too drunk to be able to identify its owner. He closed his eyes. He was just hallucinating. Everyone that knew him was sleeping in their bed. But no. Someone was definitely running his way and that someone soon grabbed his chin and lifted his head. The sudden movement actually hurt him but he guessed everything would have. He opened his eyes and he looked at the stranger. _Shit!_ He thought when he finally recognized the familiar face before his mind gave up its fight with alcohol and he passed out. He was totally screwed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised this for tomorrow, but I thought I'd give you something to read before Der Klassiker. :) This chapter maybe wasn't much to your liking, but I promise that it will get better. As always, I'm hungry for your comments and opinions, so please share them with me. It will help me write a fic that you will like more.  
> Thanks for your kudos and encouraging comments, you're the best! :)


	7. Serious Talks

Marco woke up to the biggest headache of his life. He tried to collect the shattered memories of the previous night but he didn’t get far. He remembered what had happened to Seb and his visit to the hospital and he had a lurking suspicion that he had wound up in a pub but he wasn’t sure whether it was the truth or just his imagination. After that, only darkness. His head felt like someone was pummeling it from the inside. Time to get going, he thought and he started to open his eyes, but his eyelids disobeyed him and closed stubbornly as the first sunbeams reached them. He succeeded only on the third try, but even then, he had to close his eyes again. But he had still seen enough to come to a disturbing realization: he wasn’t in his home!

Although he wanted nothing else but to lie there, not moving for at least two days, cursing himself for even thinking about drinking, he had to find out where he was. A small wave of panic was building up in him, but his hangover could hold it back for the time being. He turned to his side, which caused his stomach to protest insanely and it took him a few minutes to adjust to his new position. He placed his hand on his face and opened his eyes slowly. He froze halfway through. On a small table, not far from the unfamiliar leather couch he was lying on, a stubbly face with a wide grin and happy eyes looked back at him from a wedding photo.

_Shit!_ Marco shouted in himself and he literally jumped up from his position, to the dislike of his every body part. Suddenly, dozens of foggy memories burst into his mind of his coach finding him under a street lamp; Klopp dragging him to his car; him lying half-asleep on the backseat. _This cannot be true_ , he repeated to himself and in an attempt to change reality he closed his eyes and rubbed them before opening them again. But nothing happened: he still was in Jürgen Klopp’s living room.

If there was some numbness left in his body and mind, it vanished immediately. He sat up quickly trying to find the best way to deal with the situation. After a few seconds of hard thinking (if an alcohol-dumbed mind can think hard) he came up with nothing. There were only bad and worse options so he opted for the least embarrassing.

He got up, searching for his things. His keys, phone and wallet were on the coffee table, his coat lied neatly folded in an armchair and he found his shoes next to the couch. He took them on, packed his belongings into his pockets and grabbed his coat. He slipped out of the room into the hall and tiptoed to the door. His hand was already on the knob when a raspy voice startled him from behind.

“It’s not very polite to leave without any notice.”

He slowly turned around, afraid to face his coach, but it was inevitable now. Much to his surprise, Klopp didn’t look angry at all. Marco could only perceive worry and patronization. He sighed and his head drooped.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, barely apprehensively.

“Why don’t we talk about it over breakfast?” Klopp smiled, pointing at their kitchen with his left hand.

Marco started off that way, hanging his head low. His coach placed his hand reassuringly on his back and led him to a small and cozy kitchen. The table was already served for two, empty plates and glasses waiting for them with a lot of food. Klopp signalized Marco to sit down and he poured him orange juice before sitting down. He put a few slices of ham and cheese to his plate and grabbed a roll.

“Aren’t you going to eat? You should have something.” He asked, his mouth almost full.

“No. I don’t want to throw up in front of you.”

“Oh, we are past that!” Klopp said casually.

“God!” Marco’s eyes widened. “Coach, I’m so sorry! I know there’s no excuse for what happened, but I–”

“Slow down, Marco.” He stopped his rattle. “First of all, you have to eat something. That’s an order! And after that, why don’t you tell your story from the start?”

Marco nodded and started to chew on a toast. His stomach protested but he swallowed the food, sending it down with a huge amount of juice. He tried to save time but he knew he had to answer Klopp’s questions sooner or later.

“I got drunk.” He said finally.

“I know that. I’m more interested in the cause of this all.” Klopp noted.

Marco hesitated for a bit. Was he really supposed to tell him about everything? His row with Seb? The beating of his boyfriend? His plans to retire? His hopeless situation? He never thought they were so close with Klopp that they should have discussed so intimate issues. But after all, he should have been glad that the older man was still willing to talk to him.

“Someone beat Seb. You know, my boyfriend.” He added after he realized he had never introduced them to each other. Amusingly, thinking of it, he assumed the two of them would understand each other quite easily.

“And getting drunk changed that?”

“No, I know it didn’t change anything!” Marco snapped. “But I needed some way to switch off and alcohol looked like the only solution.”

“Okay, go on.” Klopp nodded.

“It’s more complicated than that. We had a fight last morning and I said some very stupid things and I raised a lot of serious questions. Somehow nothing had turned out as I had expected.” Now the words came more easily. “I mean, after coming out I thought everything would be better. We could finally love each other openly; we didn’t have to pretend any longer. Actually, it did more harm than good. It made me ask myself: do I really want to do this?”

“Well, I’m not an expert on this.” Klopp started. “But I think it is normal. There have been a lot of changes in your life, Marco. You have to find a way to adapt to them. Of course your relationship will be different from now on and maybe you are just afraid of the change. You had hoped it would be the only thing that stayed the same way and when it didn’t, you panicked. But just because things change, it doesn’t mean they will be worse. Give yourself some time.”

“Can I ask you something?” Marco waited for his coach’s nod. “Why do you help me so much? I mean, you could have thrown me out of the team so many times and no-one would have had any objections. And yet, you stick by me.”

Klopp sighed before he started. “Back at my hometown we had a kid with great talent. It was obvious that he’d become a professional if given the chance. We were like twelve or thirteen when someone saw him kissing another boy. Some started to tease him and more joined, including me. We all thought it was an innocent little chaff. We were kids, we didn’t realize that what we said could hurt him, but it’s no excuse. After some months he stopped coming to trainings and he gave up football. A few years ago I went back to visit my family and I’ve met him. He has a family and a decent job, but he’s a total wreck. I could barely recognize him. It might sound selfish but when the news about you got out, I felt it was my chance to make things right. And that’s why I’ll never let you give up. So are you willing to fight, Marco?”

“I want to fight, but I don’t have the power. It sounds so easy when you tell me to go on and everyone says I’m not alone and I don’t have to face it on my own. But at the end of the day, I am the one that takes all the rants.”

“I cannot argue with that. But so far you only saw one side of the coin.”

“Will I ever see the other one?” Marco cut him short.

Klopp opened his mouth to reply but he couldn’t say anything to dismiss Marco’s worries. “You must have faith. There’s nothing else left for you.”

His words were followed by long silence. As much as Marco wanted to believe him, based on what had happened in the past weeks, he couldn’t. His mind was full of doubts and for the first time he thought that maybe drinking wasn’t that bad after all. At least it ridded him of gloominess. He was deep in his thoughts when Klopp remarked they should be leaving for training. Marco nodded and got up, thanking for breakfast. They left the house and they got into a small city car that was probably Klopp’s wife’s.

“You’re going to take my other car to the cleaner’s. A tiny accident happened there in the night.” He said with no intention of humiliating.

“Oh, god!” Marco buried his face in his hands in embarrassment. How long was he going to be made to face the things he had done that night?

“Don’t worry, Marco! We all make mistakes. It could have been worse.” Klopp patted his shoulder as they drove off.

They were both silent on their drive to the city, Klopp’s words echoing in Marco’s mind. Was he really giving up too easily? Was he too weak or just afraid of facing further hardships? But more importantly: was he expecting too much from his relationship? He always had trouble answering such questions. He usually didn’t have to think about his feelings; they came natural to him and he made his decisions easily based on them. Every time he was forced to analyze a difficult situation, he rather backed out and let others decide. But how could anyone else decide about his life?

They entered the city and slowly they passed buildings that were familiar to Marco. It still took him a few seconds to realize where exactly they were.

“Could you stop at the park for a minute?” He asked his coach, driven by a sudden idea.

“Why? Did you leave something there in the night?” Klopp replied, not getting his eyes off the road.

“No. I just want to– I don’t really know. I feel like I should spend some time there.” Marco said hesitantly.

Klopp stopped the car almost exactly where he had found Marco a few hours earlier. Marco got out of the car, promising not to stay there for more than a minute. He walked to the bench where he had been drinking. The empty bottles were still there and it made Marco sick. Seeing the number of them made him realize just how much he had sunk.

“I can’t believe this!” A raspy voice startled him. “These youngsters can’t appreciate the beauty of nature anymore.”

Marco turned around and saw a park keeper grumbling with a trash bag in his hand. The old man shook his head as he stooped to collect the bottles lying all over the place. Marco volunteered to help him and he quickly threw all the bottles into the bag. The keeper thanked him and checked him out more closely.

“I’m sorry, aren’t you that gay player? I can’t remember your name.”

“Yes, I am.”

Marco sighed. Was this always going to be like this? Was he ever going to be just Marco Reus again? But much to his surprise, the keeper dropped the bag and hugged him, burying his head where Marco’s right arm met his trunk. It was an awkward situation and he was glad there was no-one around. He carefully pushed the old man further and he noticed he had tears in his eyes.

“Thank you.” He stuttered. “My grandson also loves boys, but he was afraid to tell his parents. But you helped him do that, and I’ll always be thankful for that.”

“Um, okay.” Marco mumbled not sure how to react. A lot of children had told him he was their role model, but this was different. “I’m glad he found the courage.” He smiled and then another crazy idea crossed his mind. “Hey, this might sound strange, but could I keep one of those bottles?” He pointed at the blue trash bag lying on the ground.

The man nodded and Marco got out a bottle. He told goodbye to him and walked back to Klopp’s car. The coach was waiting for him impatiently and he started the car before Marco could fasten his seatbelt. He shot a glance at him, looking at the bottle for some time, but he didn’t say anything.

“It’s a souvenir.” Marco answered to an unuttered question. “To let me remember this night and warn me about never making the same mistake again.” Klopp nodded in understanding. “Hey, I know you told me to keep away from training until I sort my things out, but do you think you could have me back in a few days?”

“It depends only on you, Marco. But I won’t let you train unless I am sure that you are committed to work hard and you know what you want.”

“It’s fair enough.” Marco nodded. He was already committed to change his attitude and life. He was going to make it, and this time it wasn’t just a phrase he kept repeating. He felt the strength in him.

When they arrived at the training ground, Marco went to the team’s locker room. All eyes turned to him, and all faces went pale with worry when they saw how he looked like. Except Kevin’s.

“What, Marco? Rough night with your boy?”

“Kevin!” Erik snapped.

“We can say that.” Marco answered emotionlessly. “I was with him in the hospital after someone beat him up.”

The shock went over the room and it muted even Kevin. He stammered something like a sorry, but Marco couldn’t care less about him. He wanted to talk to one man only.

“Hey, can I have a word with you?” He stepped to Mats, who nodded in approval. They went out to the corridor. “I wanted to say I’m sorry for what happened yesterday. I was angry at everyone and–”

“Marco, don’t even continue. It’s alright. After what you’ve been through, it’s completely understandable.”

“No, I don’t want to seek any excuses anymore. No matter what had happened, I shouldn’t have acted like this. I need to stop blaming the world, because if there’s anyone who’s responsible for what I do, it’s me.”

“Wow, it sounds like you made some great decisions.” Mats smiled and Marco joined him. “Was that true about Seb?” Marco nodded. “Oh my god, is he alright?”

“He’ll be fine. _We’ll_ be fine.” Marco answered.

“I’m happy for you, Marco! I don’t know what happened this night, but you’re a completely different person. You seem full of confidence.”

“Thanks. I feel so.” Marco smiled and held out his hand. “Are we good again?”

Mats pushed away his hand and hugged him. “We’ve never been better.”

 

* * *

 

While Marco was fixing his friendship, Klopp paid a visit to Watzke. They sat down in the comfortable armchairs in his office.

“Did you bring Marco to training today? Did I see it right?” Watzke inquired.

“Yes.” Klopp replied briefly.

“Do you have anything to report to me on him?”

“Nothing significant.” Klopp shook his head.

“Then why did you come to me?”

“I just wondered if we had a good enough relationship with the fan clubs to have contact on them.”

“Why do you ask?” Watzke raised his eyebrow higher.

“Because I’m planning to make the biggest mistake of my life. Or the biggest gambit.” Klopp leaned back in his armchair.

 

* * *

 

If it wasn’t for the sudden pain caused by his movement, Seb would have jumped out of his bed when a brunette with long hair entered his hospital room. He walked steadily to Seb and sat down on a chair next to his bed.

“What the hell are you doing here David?” Seb snapped.

“Well, good morning to you, too.” He retorted mockingly.

They had been best friends, well, basically for ever. They grew up in the same neighborhood, they went to the same school, and they even started playing music together. No wonder they became an inseparable duo. They stuck together, most importantly because they complemented each other very well. Of the two of them, David was the prettier one who got all the girls he wanted, but in this sense, his look wasn’t his only advantage over Seb. Oddly enough, Mother Nature wasn’t so generous when dealing other characteristics. Someone once said that bass players ought to be the dumbest in a band and David duly complied with it. His otherwise flawless face was spoiled by his eyes that were almost totally blank. And those dark eyes were now searching his face.

“How did you know that I was here?”

“Call it sixth sense. Plus, I’ve talked to Marco.” He added with a wide smile.

Seb never told him officially about him and Marco, but he didn’t need to. David knew him more than he knew himself and before Seb realized it, he was referring to Marco and him as a couple. Denying never crossed Seb’s mind and ever since then, David was his secret advisor, just like Marcel was Marco’s. But at least David wasn’t trying to part them.

“How is he taking it?”

“I’m lying here all bandaged up and you worry about how Marco is taking it?” Seb laughed, but his ribs cried no, so he stopped abruptly.

“Oh, come on, Seb! We both know you’ll pretend that what happened has no effect on you and you will slowly believe it yourself. And in the meantime it will most certainly make you even more miserable.”

“It’s really great to have friends like this!” Seb sighed because he knew David was right. “And about Marco– I don’t think this little accident is his biggest problem right now.”

“What? Something else happened? Did you have a row?”

“We could say that.”

“About what?”

“A nightmare.” Seb mumbled, then seeing David’s puzzled face he went on. “Marco wants to move on in our relationship. You know, the trusting-each-other and all the other serious things. He thinks that now that we’re out in the open, we should do that. But I don’t want it. And what’s worse, I don’t want to tell him that.”

“You’re not making any sense.” David shook his head.

“I know. I’m not making any sense to myself either. I’ve been thinking the whole morning but I haven’t figured out anything. I should be glad that he wants to share his life with me completely, but instead of that, I’m afraid. I fear that if he gets to know me better he will freak out and change his mind about me. I’m afraid I’m not ready for the next step. And I’m afraid that if we go into public and start doing things that we want to do everywhere, it would ruin his career totally.”

“Seb, you’re crazy. If he was willing to risk everything he had because of you, you could be damned sure that he means your relationship seriously. You must talk to him; I can’t tell you anything else. And maybe for the first time in your life, be honest. Show him that he really matters to you, show him that this _all_ matters to you. Don’t be afraid to reveal your real feelings, Seb. I meant what I said, it’s killing you. I’ve known you my whole life and I must say that you’re far from that nice young boy.”

“A lot of things have happened since then.” Seb mumbled under his breath.

“Yes.” David nodded. “And now Marco is going through the same. And while you’ve slowly given up your own identity, you’re expecting him not to change a bit. Don’t you think it’s a bit unfair?” His accusation was received with silence. “Marco needs you more than ever and you are the only one that can really help him. Only you have gone through anything similar. You always say that if there’s a hardship in your life you shouldn’t care about it more than necessary, otherwise it would ruin you. And you always pretend that when your gayness stopped your career, you stopped caring. But you didn’t. All that repressed anger and disappointment piled up in you and made you a different person. And not a better one.”

“I know.” Seb sighed, a tear running down his face. David couldn’t remember when was the last time he saw him crying. It certainly felt like a lifetime ago.

“But the point is that it’s not too late to change. You hear me, Seb? But you cannot do that alone.”

“And you think that Marco would be the perfect companion.” Seb laughed.

“I don’t think there’s something like a perfect companion, but you could surely help each other out.” David noted.

 

* * *

 

The small conference room was packed, which was no wonder, since the big mahogany table and a dozen chairs around it almost occupied all the space. But this time people seated in every chair made everything look extra crowded. Strangely enough, there was no buzz as the men all seemed a bit taken aback by the fact that they were invited into Dortmund’s training complex. They changed glances between Hans-Joachim Watzke, who was sitting at the end of the table and Jürgen Klopp. The coach was a bit annoyed, he didn’t want the CEO to be there and he had clearly warned him that he wanted to act on his own. But of course, Watzke came by nonetheless.

“Alright, I think everyone’s here.” Klopp started. “The reason I asked you to come here is pretty simple and can be summed up in two words: Marco Reus.” He said the name with a pause. “I feel that last weekend’s incident in Munich ought to be answered and I ask for your help in that.” He took a deep breath before he continued, noticing Watzke’s puzzled face.

“We are having a home game after the international break; that means nearly two weeks. I’m sure Marco will be back by then and I want you to show complete support to him. It’s up to you what way you choose, but I want you to make him feel loved and accepted.”

“You forget one thing.” A middle-aged man with a BVB-scarf spoke up first. “We are supporters of a club and not a player.”

“Marco has done so much for this team. I think he deserves this much payback.” Klopp explained.

“You didn’t get it.” A younger man tried to clear up the misunderstanding. “It’s not that we don’t think he deserves it. And I think I speak on everyone’s behalf when I say we support Marco wholeheartedly. But we need to consider other things as well, like the club’s stature. If we made such a statement, it would definitely have a huge effect on it and it’s not guaranteed that it would benefit from it.”

“Are you kidding me?” Klopp snapped. This was going to be harder than he had thought. “It’s the board that should be concerned with the club’s stature, not you. You are our supporters. Support us. Support _him_.”

“Yes, but can you imagine what would we, the supporters get because of such a statement? Just think about the reaction of other team’s fans.” More and more were joining the discussion.

“Oh, come on! We’ve been called sons of bitches and you are worried about some homophobic comments? You’ve been making statements against discrimination and xenophobia. It’s time for you to finally stand by what you preach! Look, I wouldn’t ask you this if Marco wasn’t in sore need of some support. I don’t want immediate response from you. But promise me you’ll consider it. Don’t forget: the home game after the international break and be sure that Marco will play.”

Watzke shot him a warning glance that said I hope you know what you are doing.

 

* * *

 

There was an awkward silence between Marco and Seb again as they looked at each other for long minutes. Seb had been transferred to a different department and now he was treated in a ward with three beds lined up next to each other, but it wasn’t the cause of their hush. They both wanted to say so many things, but neither of them had the courage to start. Marco finally sat down on the side of Seb’s bed and put his hand on the other one’s biceps, one of the few intact places on his body.

“How do you feel?” Marco asked worried.

“I’ve been better.” Seb shrugged, keeping his voice low. “I need to speak with you.”

And then it all flowed out of him. Everything David said to him and his feelings and fears. He told Marco about how his life was spoiled by him running away all the time, never fighting and only watching his environment passively. He told him how he hated himself for being a coward and how he had hoped that his relationship with Marco would change it.

“For the past years I’ve been sinking, Marco.” He continued with regret in his voice. “I tried to be the tough guy, who wasn’t touched by any hardship and I had hoped that somehow it would make me believe it and finally I’d really become someone like that. But it’s all hopeless and I’m afraid there’s no turning back for me. I was selfish about you. You were the only one that could make me forget about my misery and I didn’t want to let you go. You were right when you said I didn’t care about you. I’ve been considering only myself and whenever you gave a sign that you were unsure about our relationship, I freaked out. And luckily, you have always come back to me. But I knew this couldn’t go on forever. I dreaded the moment when you said you wanted to take the next step. I didn’t know if you’d love the real me. The one I never showed you. I’m sorry I lied to you, Marco, but– I just couldn’t do anything else.”

He broke down crying and it was the first time Marco saw him do so. He reached out and wiped down his tears carefully with his fingers. He was clearly touched by Seb’s monologue and took his time to process what his love had said. Seb waited impatiently for any response from him. Marco finally gave him a crooked smile and bent forward to plant a kiss on his forehead. Seb flinched a little at the little pain caused by the contact, but he could endure it as long as it was for Marco.

“You are stupid.” The footballer laughed. “Based on what you showed me from your other side, I’m totally in love with the true Seb.”

“But you were thinking about dumping the old Seb, right?” He asked a bit sourly. Marco’s face turned serious in a fraction of a second.

“You’ve been sincere to me, so I’ll tell you the truth too.” Marco started and Seb already knew what he was going to say. “I was unsure about us. If we could keep on working with the way you acted. I was concentrating on what _you_ did wrong and I was blaming only you. I’m sorry for that. But since then I realized that I wasn’t at my best, either.” He shook his head, indicating that he couldn’t continue.

“What’s happened, Marco? Did someone hurt you?” Seb lifted his head, worry replacing sadness and regret in his eyes.

“No, that’s not it. I did something horrible, Seb!” He whined. “After I left here, I got drunk. And I wasn’t just pickled, I was totally wasted.”

“Did someone see you?”

“Kloppo found me and he took me to his place. God, it was so embarrassing. But that’s not the point! It made me think what went wrong for me. I didn’t want to turn out this way. I planned on getting back to playing and back to normal but it didn’t work out. I blamed everyone and everything before, but this morning I realized it’s only me that can be blamed.”

“Marco, it’s not just your fault.” Seb objected.

“No, you’re just trying to solace me, but I think that’s what I did wrong. I’ve pitied myself too much. I wouldn’t admit that I was responsible for my life. But I want to change that and I need you to help me.”

“What?” Seb was taken aback. “Marco, if you have any doubts about us, just don’t stick to me. I can understand that.”

“Oh, shut up finally!” Marco snapped but there was no anger in his voice. “I’ve just explained to you that I realized I can’t go on without you. I need to keep fighting and only you can make me do that. You know the best way to get me back to top form. And maybe, just maybe, you need me too, at least based on what you told me. So will you help me?”

“Marco, I don’t know what to say.” Seb stammered.

“Then say yes.” Marco smiled and bent over his boyfriend. Seb didn’t say yes in the end, he just planted a kiss on Marco’s lips. The midfielder contented himself with that answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and please share your thoughts, I'm really interested in your opinion and where you think this story should go. :)


	8. Fighting Back

The next day Jogi called Marco to ask him if he was ready to join the national team. It hurt Marco to say no to such an opportunity, but he knew it was for the best if he stayed focused on making his return to top form. When the list of the registered players was made public, there was an uproar about Marco’s absence, with some papers suggesting that he had been left out because of his homosexuality, but the football federation confuted these rumors quickly. Marco still had to do some explanation to his best friends, to Mario in particular. The young brunette was completely shocked when he told him that he actually turned down Jogi’s offer, but eventually understood his decision.

They had agreed with Kloppo that he’d rejoin team training during international duty. He spent the remaining few days mostly in the hospital next to Seb. He wanted to be there all day long, but Seb usually kicked him out around noon, stating that him wasting his time next to a cripple didn’t advance his recovery. And his state was still improving rapidly. But what maybe was more important, their relationship was getting better at the same pace. They talked over every issue that crossed their minds. They both felt so alone in the evenings and it made them realize just how much they needed the other one. They couldn’t wait for the day Seb would be discharged.

The moment finally came the day before Marco’s comeback. Marco went to pick up his boyfriend joyfully. Before they could leave, they had to sit through a lecture from Dr. Storp. She reminded them of all the precautions they had to take and warned Seb not to rush things and wait for his bruises and injuries to heal properly. Seb nodded eagerly but Marco saw in his eyes that he wasn’t planning on taking the doctor’s words. She dismissed them and Marco thanked her once more for her help.

Once they were sitting in Marco’s car, Seb leaned over trying to kiss him, but he got sore from the movement so he sat back instead. Marco laughed and planted a kiss on Seb’s cheek.

“Well, I was expecting something more.” Seb sighed, a playful smirk forming on his face.

“You’ll get more when we’re at home.” Marco winked at him.

He drove extra-carefully, avoiding every pot-hole. He even turned around in a street because there was a speed bump and didn’t want to cause any pain to Seb.

“I’m just hurt, not a cripple!” Seb snapped after the tenth time Marco shot him a worried look when despite his efforts, the car hove them.

“Hey, it’s my name on the discharging paper, so as long as I’m responsible for your well-being, you have to put up with my care.”

“Um, is it too late to change my mind and ask you to take me back to the hospital?” He asked sarcastically and they both laughed.

When they got into Marco’s house, the midfielder ordered him to lie down on his couch and he left no space for any objection. Seb noted sourly that apparently Marco was going to keep every instruction the doctor gave them. As much as he appreciated his boyfriend’s concern, he would have preferred him being more flexible about his medical care. But he still obeyed him. Marco joined him in the living room a few minutes later, carrying a tray with a mug of water, a glass and some biscuits.

“You know, I can walk.” Seb asked with a lifted eyebrow.

“Come on, Seb. Let me spoil you a bit.” Marco smiled as he crouched next to him and pressed his lips against Seb’s. It was their first kiss since their relationship was made public. They had agreed not to make any scenes in the hospital, even though his roommates were two old men who looked definitely dead sometimes. Seb relaxed himself into the contact and put his hand on Marco’s nape, pulling him closer. He tried to turn to make some space for the blonde but again his ribs protested and he broke their kiss with a sudden cry.

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry! Did I hurt you?” Marco panicked, his eyes full of worry and regret.

“Marco. I’m fine.” Seb said calmly. “Just get me a painkiller, will you?”

The midfielder nodded, got up and walked to the bag where they put all the medicine. He got out a pill and handed it to Seb along with the glass now filled with water. He stroked his hair then stood up.

“I’m going to get some stuff over from your place. Do you need anything in particular?”

Seb shook his head and grabbed the remote control, turning on the TV. Marco left the room and stopped at Seb’s bag. He suddenly remembered that he’d read about the risks of strong painkillers and how easy it was to get addicted to them. He hesitated for a moment and almost took out the box of medicine, but he changed his mind. If he wanted Seb to trust him more, he had to do the same. He promised Seb to be back quickly once more and then he left.

 

* * *

 

Seb dozed off a few minutes later. Maybe it was the painkillers numbing him, or he was really that tired. But his nap didn’t last long; he was startled awake by a knock on the door. He didn’t answer, hoping that the visitor would go away if he got no response, plus he still didn’t feel that comfortable in their relationship: it was Marco’s house after all. But the knocking didn’t stop so he carefully hauled himself off and limped to the front door. Another impatient knock came before he opened the door–

And found himself face to face with Jürgen Klopp. The coach looked surprised; he hadn’t expected a stranger opening the door to one of his player’s house. He looked around abashedly and it was funny to see him in such a situation.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to interrupt anything.” He apologized, his voice breaking a few times.

“You’re not interrupting anything. Marco’s not here.” Seb said. It was an unreal experience for him; he was speaking with one of football’s best managers and he wasn’t the more embarrassed one.

“I see. Then I’ll come back later. Or I’ll call him.” Klopp nodded, turning around already.

“You know you can wait for him here. He shouldn’t be long.” Seb stepped aside. The coach considered his options for a few seconds then accepted the invitation.

“I guess I didn’t have to opportunity to introduce myself properly.” Seb scratched his head. “Seb Kruse. I’d like to offer you my hand but as you see, I’d have some problem with it.” He raised his hand that was still in cast. “Please, come on in.” He pointed at the living room and Klopp started off that way. Seb followed him with slow, careful strides and virtually slapped himself for his fanboyish excitement.

“Can I get you something?” The coach shook his head and sat down on the couch. Seb took his place in an armchair.

“Marco told me what happened to you. Are you feeling better?” Klopp asked, but kept looking at his entwined fingers.

“Well, I’m getting better.” Seb shrugged. That was it for their conversation.

“You’re watching football?” Klopp asked, trying to end the awkward silence. He nodded in the TV’s direction.

“Yeah.” Seb stammered. Actually, he had no idea what was on.

He took a quick glance at the screen and saw that a Dutch game was being broadcasted. The home team was already leading 4–0. They both stared at the TV, engrossed in watching the one-sided match. Seb didn’t like such games that much. They might have been interesting for an average viewer who was looking for some attractive football, but they hid no challenge from an analytical point of view. They usually came down to a single tactical mistake the losing team made and finding it was usually no big challenge. This time the mistake became all apparent after a quick break that almost resulted in a fifth goal, the ball was stopped only by the post.

“I can’t believe they don’t realize why they fucked up!” Seb cried out, forgetting for a moment that he had company.

“Excuse me?” Klopp looked at him bewildered.

“Well, take the two center-backs. All it would take to get a better defense is change them. The smaller guy can’t win any headers against that giant striker, and the other one is way too slow for that fast-paced forward.” He explained with fiery gestures, pointing at said players.

“Nice.” Klopp nodded, a faint smile forming on his face.

The front door was opened and shut instantly. Marco put down two bags with Seb’s things in the hall and walked to the living room. He caught sight of Seb sitting in the armchair and was about to open his mouth to scold his boyfriend for disrespecting his specific orders, when another step made him notice his coach. _Oh_ was all he could say as he stopped in the doorway.

“Marco.” Klopp stood up. He was clearly more comfortable in his player’s presence. “I don’t want to stay long; I just wanted to make sure that you were ready to attend training tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I think I’m ready.” Marco could barely gather his thoughts. He had definitely not expected to return to a scene with his boyfriend and coach in the same room.

“Good. I hope you remember my terms, because you won’t get any more chances.” Klopp’s voice was suddenly all serious. Marco nodded. “I should be going then.” He smiled and turned to Seb. “Thanks for a pleasant experience.” He left without further ado, leaving behind two puzzled men.

“What was it about that pleasant experience?” Marco was the first one to get back to his senses.

“I have no bloody clue.” Seb shrugged. “What was it about his terms?”

“He just wants a proof that I won’t have another breakdown and I’m willing to fight my way back to the top.”

“And are you?”

“I’ve never been more ready.” Marco smiled.

 

* * *

 

Despite his struggles, Marco couldn’t come up with an explanation to Kloppo’s words and Seb wasn’t eager to share every detail of their conversation with him. He left for training determined to put an end to his bafflement. He usually went with the national side for international games, but he still knew what to expect from team training during such time. Only a few players remained in Dortmund, what made the sessions and the coaches friendlier.

The training center was unusually quiet when he arrived, almost deserted. He parked his car and got his bag from the backseats. He was walking towards the main building when a weak voice startled him from behind.

“You’re back already? That’s good news.” Marco turned around in record time, only to see a totally dressed-up Erik.

“I thought you were leaving with the national team.”

“Yes, but I caught a cold or something.” He explained annoyed and disappointed. Marco knew the feeling. It was hard enough to miss international games due to injury; when it was because of a ridiculously little thing such as a cold, it became much harder. “So I’m staying home, but the docs wanted to get a look at me.”

“I’m sorry to hear it. But at least, you’re going to miss just one match.” Marco tried to find the positive side of Erik’s misfortune. “And you can help me get back to form when you’re healthy again.” He smiled.

“So you’re coming back? That must be– really hard.” He said hesitantly.

“Yeah, but I have no other choice.” Marco shrugged. They reached the entrance and walked into the building. Erik turned left towards the medical rooms, while Marco headed straight to the locker room, but stepped back driven by a sudden idea. “Hey, Erik! If you’ll feel better, you can come over one evening. I don’t know; maybe we could hang out or watch the German game?”

“That sounds good.” Erik nodded.

Marco smiled and hurried to the locker room. He got dressed quickly and jogged to the training pitch. He was planning to get some time alone with the ball before the others arrived. He picked a ball and started kicking it around aimlessly. He caressed it and played with it, just the way he had done ever since he was a small boy. They didn’t need to speak, they understood each other smoothly; the ball obeyed his orders and he didn’t even need to look down at his feet to get it where he wanted to. He juggled a little bit before his teammates joined him.

There were eight of them and they were joined by Klopp. Their coach announced that they would have just one session that day and they would practice ball control and teamwork. Marco was put into a trio with Sebastian and Manni. He hadn’t realized how much he missed trainings. Klopp kept a close eye on him, but his worried and attentive glances soon released and they ended the session joking around.

“I’m proud of you, Marco.” The coach said as they were walking to the main building next to each other. “You showed great commitment and will today. I hope it will last.”

“It will.” Marco answered. “I can’t wait to play a match again. I want to focus on the game and not the supporters.”

“We’ll see about that.” An implicative smile hovering over his lips. “About last night, I’m sorry if I caused some awkwardness. I had no idea you had a visitor.”

“Well, I wouldn’t call Seb a visitor any longer.” Marco said languidly.

“Okay, stop that! I don’t want to hear more details about your private life; I think I’ve had enough of it lately.” Klopp laughed. “But tell me, how much does he know about football?”

“Everything, I would say! Why are you asking?” He groped, hoping to get some answers about his coach’s last night’s strange behavior, but Kloppo shrugged him off with a simple ‘nothing’.

 

* * *

 

Erik joined team training two days later and after that they did everything together with Marco. Previously they hadn’t been friends. They got on well together, but it was no more than professional relationship. But as Marco came to know the defender better, he realized they had so much in common. If Kloppo didn’t like that they always practiced together, he didn’t show a sign of it. After all, it was never bad to have a duo on the flank used to each other. And they were getting better; their passing improved rapidly and Erik set up two goals for Marco on a friendly against the reserve team on the day of the national match.

“Good game today, huh?” Marco patted Erik’s shoulder and the younger one blushed.

“Yes.” He bit on his lower lip, as if he was thinking about something.

“What’s wrong?” Marco asked raising his eyebrows and looking into Erik’s eyes.

“Nothing.” Erik shook his head. “I was just wondering if your invitation to watch the match was serious.”

“Well of course it was!” Marco roared. “I’d be glad to have you there.” Erik blushed again. “What will you drink? What should I get you?”

“Don’t trouble yourself!” Erik waved with his hands. “You’re the host; I’ll get the refreshment, alright?”

“Okay.” Marco laughed.

They talked for another half an hour before they left the training center. Marco drove to a supermarket first and despite Erik’s promise, he bought two packs of beer and some chips for the evening. When he got home, Seb was practicing on his guitar. At first, the sound of a guitar felt alien in his house, but he got used to it. He hadn’t had the slightest idea how Seb could play with broken fingers on his right hand, but somehow he managed to sound the strings.

“You’re doing great.” He smiled at his boyfriend leaning against the doorframe.

“Thanks. How was training?”

“Good. I feel like I’m on the right track again, but we should analyze one little thing.” Marco said. They spent a lot of time talking about his play and how it could be improved. Seb seemed like the perfect advisor for him and he took his advices willingly.

“Okay. What’s the fuss about?” He pointed at the shopping bags Marco was still holding.

“Oh, Erik’s coming over to watch the game.” His eyes revealed some requests but he didn’t utter them.

“And you want me to get out of here?” Seb asked mockingly. Some things never changed, nor did Seb’s style.

“No. I just wanted to check if it was OK with you.”

“It’s your house, your rules.” Seb raised his hands in defense.

“Then try to be polite please. I don’t want the whole team to think that I’m dating a complete jerk. A 50% jerk will do.” Marco smiled.

 

* * *

 

Erik arrived at his place an hour before kickoff. Marco and Seb both stood up to answer his knocking, but it was the former that got to the door sooner. Erik entered the house with a huge smile on his face but it somehow languished when he spotted Seb. His confusion lasted only a few seconds though.

“Welcome, I’m glad you came in the end.” Marco greeted him and grabbed the beers Erik was carrying. “You already know each other, right?” He shot a glance at both of them.

“Yes.” Erik nodded offering his hand to Seb. Seb just raised his plastered hand and looked at the defender apologetically.

“Go on, have a seat while I put these in the fridge.” Marco instructed them.

They walked into the living room and sat down far from each other. The pre-match analysis was already on, the two experts commenting on various aspects of the game. They got right most of the facts, Seb admitted to himself. They shared a few clueless looks with Erik; neither of them knew what they were supposed to say. Marco had asked Seb to be nice and he knew himself well enough to know that the only way to prevent any offensive comments was to keep silent for the rest of the evening. Fortunately, Marco joined them a few moments later, carrying three bottles of beer.

“Here, take these until the other ones cool down.” He gave everyone a bottle.

“I don’t think my painkillers would welcome it.” Seb shrugged and put the beer on the table.

“Oh, right. You want anything else?” Marco asked a bit embarrassed. Seb shook his head and Marco took a seat next to him, flinging an arm around his shoulder and drawing him closer.

The broadcast switched to the stadium, showing some offstage shots from the locker rooms. Erik and Marco smiled as they saw their teammates leaving for the player’s corridor. They reminded themselves of a few insider jokes that Seb couldn’t understand so he focused on the commentator’s voice instead. He was talking about the absentees in the national side. He went on to criticize the defensive performance of the past games, pointing out the sensible consequences of Lahm’s and Mertesacker’s retirement.

“Bullshit!” Seb cried out, forgetting about his environment. Marco squeezed his shoulder in warning. “I mean, all credit to Mertesacker, but he’d be too slow for this free-flowing game Jogi’s trying to implement.”

“Okay, Mr. Expert, why don’t you lean back and just enjoy the game?” Marco asked and planted a kiss on Seb’s temple, much to Erik’s discomfort. The defender shot down his look and started to study his fingers. It somehow felt strange to Seb, but he couldn’t get exactly what was wrong, yet.

Both teams lined up for the national anthems and they listened to them in silence. It took another couple of minutes until kickoff. The Germans started the game but lost the ball immediately after a sloppy pass. The visitors took advantage of the situation and started a quick attack on the right flank. Their winger was getting forward and it was only Höwedes’s composure and steadiness that stopped him. The two players uttered a sigh of relief and Seb drew the consequences from the scene.

“You see, you should work on your physicality just like that.” He turned to Erik and continued despite Marco’s disapproving look. “I mean, take this as an advice: you go down in tackles way too easily. You need to gain some mass and work on your stamina.” The defender looked at him with a dropped jaw.

“Seb!” Marco snapped. He withdrew his hand which was a clear sign of him not being pleased with his boyfriend’s behavior. “Don’t listen to him, Erik! He’s just searching for faults in everyone. Your body’s perfect the way it is.”

The young defender blushed again and looked at his feet. He was obviously embarrassed and Seb saw no reason behind his reaction. But then something clicked in his mind– can it be?

The game was soon stopped after a fault on Mario and Marco used this small break to get another two bottles of beer. Before he left, he whispered a warning into Seb’s ear. Not that he was planning to respect it.

“Hey, I’m sorry about what I said. I didn’t mean it bad.”

“It’s okay. Kloppo told me the same so I guess there’s something to it.” Erik shrugged.

“So how do you feel about it?” Seb asked.

“About what?” Erik looked at him startled.

“About your crush on Marco.” Seb said it if it was just a minor issue.

“My _what_?” Erik snapped. He tried to look offended but Seb saw that he had hit a soft spot and that there was some truth in his theory.

“Look, we can go on like this, but I don’t see any reason in you denying.” Seb smiled. Erik’s confused face raised pity for him.

“What are you guys talking about?” Marco interrupted them before Erik could say anything. He was smiling and was clearly ignorant of the conversation between them.

“I just apologized for what I said.” Seb smiled back at his boyfriend. Marco looked at Erik for affirmation. The defender nodded and Marco sat down next to Seb, only to spring back up. “God, I forgot the bottle opener!”

“Look, can you not tell him?” Erik whispered after Marco rushed out of the room. “I’m not sure about my feelings and I’m totally confused. I’m not gay, or at least I had never considered myself to be one. I don’t want things to get awkward between Marco and me. And I probably shouldn’t discuss this with his boyfriend.”

“Sure thing. I don’t blame you; after all, I fell in love with him too.” Seb smiled and Erik looked relieved. “But don’t hit on him, alright? Cause I can hit back pretty hard.” His smile didn’t fade, but Erik was terrified by his threats.

Marco’s return ended their discussion, but of course it could still be sensed in the air. This time Marco wasn’t oblivious to it. He noticed that something was going on but omitted the topic for the rest of the evening. Only after Germany had won the game and Erik had left he turned to Seb questioningly.

“So what did you say to him?” His voice was full of anger.

“I promised him not to tell you.” Seb replied defensively.

“Seriously, I can’t leave you alone for a minute and trust you to act normal? Sometimes you’re more troublesome than a baby!”

“Believe me, this time I didn’t do anything bad. Really. I just pushed him in a way he had to go nonetheless.”

“Do you swear?” Marco didn’t look convinced at all.

“I swear.” Seb nodded, although he wasn’t sure if he really should have pushed Erik that hard.

 

* * *

 

Marco found it even harder to believe Seb the next days. Erik was deliberately avoiding him. He quickly paired up with others every time, leaving Marco alone. Whenever the midfielder looked at him, the younger one shot down his glance and turned around, escaping Marco’s stare. He wanted to talk to him, but Erik disappeared after every session and didn’t answer his calls. Marco was getting angrier at Seb. Now it was clean-cut that he had said something to Erik; something that had made him hate Marco. But his boyfriend stuck to his statement that nothing similar had happened.

Marco finally got enough of Erik’s behavior and questioned him openly at training, much to the defender’s embarrassment, but Marco couldn’t care less. He deserved to get some answers.

“So what’s got into you?” He poked the bewildered defender with his index finger.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Erik shrugged, ready to continue his practice.

“Just the simple fact that you haven’t spoken to me since the German match.” Marco said angrily. “Listen if this is about Seb and what he said, forget it! He always says things like that and he doesn’t even realize that he might hurt someone else. He’s not good with people, you know.” Marco explained, surprised that he was defending Seb when he was madder at him than at Erik.

“No, it’s not what he said.” Erik shook his head. “Well, not in the way you think.” He sighed. “I just don’t want you to be angry with him because of me. He didn’t do anything bad, I swear.” Erik reassured him. _Always this swearing_ , Marco thought. The only problem was that he couldn’t believe them.

“Then tell me what’s wrong. I don’t want to lose our _friendship_. It means so much to me.” He said, unaware of how his words hurt Erik.

“I can’t. Not yet. I need to sort things out first.” Erik blushed.

“It sounds serious.” Marco was taken aback and softened his voice. “Are you sure you don’t want to tell me? Maybe I could help you?”

“No, I appreciate it, but no. I promise I will tell you– one day.” He added, buried in his thoughts.

“Reus! Durm! If you finished your rendezvous, maybe you would care to join us?” Klopp snapped at them. He was calling them on their surnames, which was a clear sign of his annoyance.

After that, Erik changed his attitude but Marco wasn’t sure it was for the best. Their conversations were awkward and Erik was always looking for an excuse to change the topic to something bagatelle or to involve their teammates.

Marco wasn’t more successful with Seb either. His boyfriend wouldn’t tell him what he had said to Erik. Instead, he was focused on working on Marco’s morale. He would make him watch the Bayern game over and over again (at least the last ten minutes or so). It was painful– at first, but after talking out his hurt, things got better and he managed to look at the pictures of him getting hit with a somewhat aloofness.

But it wasn’t just him getting better. Seb finally started to tell him his whole life story. Marco was shocked how much he hadn’t known about his boyfriend. But just after a few talks he felt glad that Seb didn’t share every detail with him. Marco listened to him in horror as he recalled his worst experiences. Each of them could have been enough to make anyone give up, except for Seb. If Marco hadn’t been convinced that he should and could carry on, Seb’s example would have made him think so.

He literally lost everything in his life before he could even acquire it. Marco knew himself enough to know that he’d have given up after the third or fourth time; and yet, somehow, Seb managed to go on. And Marco thought he definitely deserved the little he had right now.

In the afternoons, when Marco didn’t have training session, they would go out on a pitch not far from Marco’s house to chill out. Marco couldn’t stop admiring how someone who knew so much about football like Seb could play it so bad. Sometimes he looked like he would fall over his own feet and Marco laughed from the bottom of his heart; he couldn’t remember when he had done so for the last time.

“Okay, time to put you under some pressure.” Seb nodded after he had enough of failing on every possible level. He placed the ball around ten meters from the goal. “Can you score from here?” He asked tauntingly.

“Sure thing.” Marco nodded with confidence and got ready to take the quasi-penalty. He took one more quick glance at the goal and stepped back to be able to hit the ball with full force–

“Motherfucking faggot!” Seb shouted just before Marco’s foot touched the ball. Marco was startled and he sent the ball well above the crossbar. He looked at Seb indignantly.

“What was that for?” He still couldn’t believe the words he had spoken and the anger he had put in them.

“If you can’t ignore it here and now, what will you do if it really matters?” Seb shook his head disapprovingly as he walked to gather the ball. He jogged back with it and put it down on the same spot. “Once again.”

“Why are we doing this exactly?” Marco asked him unconvinced.

“Do you think that you forgot how to play football when you went on the pitch against Bayern? No. You just couldn’t get the rants out of your head. We’re working on that right now.”

Seb sent him an encouraging look and gave him a peck. But it didn’t matter a few seconds later, when he yelled at Marco again. And this all resulted in an equally awful kick and so did the next dozen. Seb came up with even more hurtful blusters and Marco couldn’t find the net.

“Come on, Marco, I’m running out of ideas!” Seb begged fretfully.

“Oh really, if you think it’s so fucking easy, why don’t you try it?” Marco snapped.

“You’re addressing this the wrong way.” Seb explained. “Don’t let the anger lead you. Let me or them say whatever they want. You’re playing football and you should concentrate on the pitch.”

“Now you’re an expert?” Marco asked annoyed; he was getting enough of Seb’s stupid ideas.

“Well, I have my experiences. Just try to do what I said, okay?” His voice was calm. “Use the force, Marco, use the force!” He added laughing.

Marco listened to him. He focused on the ball and the goal and the task ahead. _I can do it_ , he told himself. He took a step back and closed his eyes. He heard Seb starting to rant something like _Come on you little_ – but he didn’t hear the end of it. He flung his leg and hit the ball with all his power. The ball flew towards the goal. It rattled the crossbar before it came bouncing down and then into the net, almost tearing a hole in it.

“ _Now_ you’re going to do fine.” Seb smiled and embraced him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, a bit earlier update (not necessarily just because there's a German match today, although it's becoming a habit of mine to post new chapters before football games). Okay, I don't know about this little twist, so please tell me what you think. Feedback is always welcome and it keeps me going, so if you have anything you think you'd share with us, go on, I shall be thankful for it. :)


	9. The Yellow Wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here I am with another update, because you guys deserve it. :) Thanks for your support and kudos and comments and everything. And as always: please share your thoughts on this chapter or the fic in whole, it will be very much appreciated.

His relationship with Erik got more endurable after their teammates returned from international duty. Well, it didn’t particularly improve, but at least there were Mats and Kevin and others to take his mind off the young defender. On the first day they had an easier training to give some time for the national players to recover. They ended the session with an in-club test match.

Marco wasn’t just good. He was almost as good as he had ever been and everyone seemed to notice it. He was very satisfied with his performance and Kloppo nodded approvingly too. But he had no illusions this time. They were playing behind closed doors, careful not to hurt each other and it was all about tactics. In a stadium it would be completely different. There would be an opposing side, but most importantly there would be fans – and not just friendly ones.

“So how were things going on here?” Mats put his arm around his shoulder as they were walking down the pitch. They were both all smiles. “As the team’s captain, I ought to know about all the news.”

“I’ve been working hard.”

“I noticed it. We all did. You look a completely different person. Or rather– you have been a completely different person until now and you are beginning to resemble your old self.”

“I’m feeling like it.” Marco nodded. He sighed. Was he supposed to tell Mats about Erik and his strange behavior? It was no point in concealing it; Dortmund’s captain wasn’t blind, there could hardly be a secret in front of him. “And I kind of got friends with Erik. I mean– better friends. But he started to act a bit– I don’t know; reservedly, I guess.”

“Do you want me to talk to him?” Mats raised an eyebrow.

“No.” Marco shook his head, but he knew it was pointless. Mats would have a word with Erik nonetheless. “There’s no ill will in his behavior, it’s just– he changed very quickly. And I suspect Seb has something to do with it.”

“Seb? How are you guys doing lately?”

“Better and better.” Marco said with pride in his voice. He was really satisfied with their romance. “But enough of me, what’s new in the national team?”

“It’s all the same, but you can’t miss another international break. I couldn’t take Mario alone once more.” Mats laughed.

“What did he do?” Marco asked scared, although Mats’s laughter dismissed a good deal of his worries.

“Nothing wrong, but he kept asking about you all the time. How you’re doing and so on? It had no end.” Mats sighed at the memory.

“Really?” Marco was surprised that Mario cared about him so much. Okay, they were best friends and Mats might have been exaggerating things, but still– it felt like the young brunette did much more for him than what was expected. “And what about Jogi? I hope he wasn’t too angry at me for snubbing the _Mannschaft_?”

“Not at all. I think he totally understands. We even had a team meeting about you!”

“Oh, God, great!” Marco sighed.

“Don’t be like this.” Mats punched his arm tenderly. “He meant no bad. And it’s the least he had to do after Munich– um, never mind.” He cut himself short, after he realized that Marco had asked him never to mention the Bayern game again. But this time the midfielder’s reaction was different. He looked like the remark didn’t affect him at all. He sure had changed, Mats noted.

“And what did he say?” Marco inquired.

“Nothing in particular.” Mats shrugged. “He just reminded us that we were not only the nation’s best, but we are also representatives and we should act accordingly. He wanted to make sure there would be no unwanted comments upon your return. And they will have an appeal to the fans before your next international game too, so get ready.”

Marco had mixed feelings. He was touched by the Bundestrainer’s care and foresight, but at the same time, he didn’t want to be treated differently than his teammates. He had expected that the football association would make some political statements about him, after all, they were a state-wide organization; they were supposed to approach his case with prudence. He wasn’t afraid of the other players’ reaction; they were all good friends and he knew they would never taunt him.

“But back to Erik.” Mats brought him out of his deep thinking. “What exactly happened? I mean, you worked excellent together on the pitch today.”

“I know, and that’s the most curious thing. I invited him over to watch the national match. I don’t think I did anything wrong, I just left them alone with Seb for a few minutes and when I got back, the whole atmosphere was changed. Ever since then, he strives to keep our relationship strictly professional. And I can’t imagine, why that is.”

“This sounds strange indeed.” Mats nodded. “You really have no idea what they might  have talked about?” Marco shook his head. “Have you talked to Erik?”

“Well, I asked him and he said he would tell me, but he needed some time– ‘to sort things out’, I guess?” He tried to recall Erik’s exact words. “And Seb isn’t different. He hasn’t said anything more about this whole thing.”

Mats hummed as they reached the locker room and they ceased their conversation. He took a glance at Erik who didn’t seem out of the ordinary, but his eyes hid a sign of uncertainty and agony. Something wasn’t right with the young one and Mats hadn’t noticed it. He had to do something about it. Not only because he was the team’s captain, but also because Erik was his friend. But if he hadn’t told Marco the reason of his distress, he wouldn’t share it with him, either. Well, not if he asked him directly. But if he had an excuse–

“Erik?” He got the young brunette’s attention as he stepped to him. “What would you say if we had a beer after training?”

“I don’t know, I’m quite tired.” Erik objected shyly.

Mats lowered his voice as if he was about to share a big secret. “Look, Jogi had some instructions and I promised him I’d tell you.”

“Then why don’t you tell me right now?” Erik looked puzzled.

“Well, it’s not really for public discussion.” He said suggesting something awkward, jerking his head in Marco’s way.

“Oh.” Erik sighed as he got Mats’s lame signs. “Okay, we can meet later today, then.” He nodded although he didn’t quite believe it was something that confidential if Mats was willing to discuss it in a pub but not in front of their teammates. He argued it was Marco’s presence that the captain minded.

 

* * *

 

Marco didn’t have an idea about Mats’s and Erik’s discussion so he went home on cloud nine. He trotted into his living room where Seb was reading a newspaper lazily and dropped his training bag on the floor before he plopped down on the sofa next to his boyfriend. Seb looked at him over the paper questioningly but he didn’t say a thing. He continued reading the news, pretending to be interested in what the press had to say, but Marco noticed the twinkle of teasing in his eyes.

_You’re not going to pull one over on me_ , Marco thought as he pulled down the newspaper. The paper rustled under his fingers. Seb raised his eyebrow, a not-so-well-concealed smile forming on his lips. He faced a grinning Marco just a few centimeters from him. The midfielder finally tore the newspaper from his hand and shoved it to the floor. He leaned closer to Seb and tilted his head a little bit to the left to make their lips match perfectly when they touched a few moments later.

Seb welcomed Marco and invited his tongue deeper, parting his teeth to give way. Marco took his chance and rubbed himself against Seb’s palate, the contact gently tickling him and sending waves of sensation down his spine. He moaned against Marco’s mouth and the blonde stopped for a second to smile in satisfaction before he started to circle Seb’s tongue with his own. He placed his hand on Seb’s nape and drew him into a more passionate and rough kiss. And Seb wasn’t one to say no.

He wrapped his arms around Marco to lift him a bit and drop him on the couch, careful not to hurt him. In the end it was his fingers and ribs that protested but he couldn’t care less about them. Marco chuckled as Seb took charge and became the dominant one in their making out session. And he had all skills to make Marco give up.

First, he pushed Marco’s tongue back into his own mouth and he soon followed him. He felt like home there; he knew every detail of Marco by heart by now. He found his sweet spot very easily and pushed his tongue against it. Marco couldn’t hold back his smile. He raised his hand and started stroking Seb’s cheek, careful not to touch his scars that hadn’t disappeared yet. Seb kept on pleasing him. Their noses collided a few times awkwardly but it couldn’t deter either of them.

“So will you tell me why I got this for?” Seb asked when he finally broke the contact but was still stooping over Marco.

“Oh did I start this?” Marco asked cheekily. “I guess it had to be because you’re the best boyfriend I could imagine.”

“Training must have been a success, then.” Seb joined him in smiling.

“Oh, it was more than that. I was just so composed and focused and– you should have seen that.” Marco’s excitement got the better of him. He was like an innocent child riding a feeling completely. But Seb always thought that children got it all figured out better than adults.

“Don’t worry; I’ll see you at the weekend. You will play, right?”

“I think so.” Marco nodded. “Actually, I might have convinced Kloppo to start me.”

Seb couldn’t quite believe him. He expected Klopp to be more cautious this time. Marco might have been exceptional at training but there was no guarantee he would be the same under pressure. Seb thought all these things but seeing Marco’s joyful and hopeful face he couldn’t bring himself to share them with him. He leant down and gave him a peck instead, his lips taking their time to say goodbye to Marco’s. But they did eventually and Seb sat up on the couch, Marco following his example.

“Hey, I’ve been thinking a lot about this and–” Marco took a pause before he continued; having all of Seb’s attention. “You know, you’ve been staying here for almost two weeks now and I was wondering if you– I mean, maybe you could stay here longer– well, permanently.” He finally blurted out after much hesitation. Seb’s eyes widened and when Marco saw his reaction, he added hastily: “Of course you don’t have to, if you don’t want to or you think that it’s too early or anything.”

“It’s not that.” Seb’s voice wasn’t any more confident than Marco’s. “I just always imagined that if we were going to move in together, we would search for a house together.”

“What?” Marco was taken aback, because the whole idea of Seb planning seriously to live with him was hard to believe.

“Not that I have anything against your place. It’s comfy and all, but it might be a bit small for two.”

Marco didn’t know what he was talking about. His house was _huge_. All of the rooms felt almost empty because of the relative lack of furniture. But above all, he _liked_ it. He didn’t want to argue with Seb though and they would have a lot of time to agree on the details.

“So are you in?” He asked for affirmation.

“Sure as hell.” Seb smiled.

 

* * *

 

Mats took Erik to his favorite bar. It was a small place in a secluded street, but they served good beer and played good music. It was still early so they were the only guests. Mats ordered two glasses of beer and they sat down in a box out of sight. The captain studied Erik’s face as they both took a sip of their drinks. Worry and anxiety was written all over the younger one’s face. Mats didn’t know if he wanted to conceal his pain but if he did, he was very bad at it.

“So what did you want to talk to me about?” Erik asked between two big gulps. His glass was now half-empty.

“Just a few guidelines about Marco in the national team.” Mats started. “Not that I don’t trust you, but you know Jogi. He wants the whole team to act as a whole. First of all, no-one is allowed to make any comments about his homosexuality. Kind of a ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ policy but a bit broader. Of course it doesn’t apply to private conversations.”

“Fair enough.” Erik nodded dryly.

“And there’s some difference about interviews and press conferences. If anyone asks about Marco we have to answer and – I don’t have to emphasize this – in an approving way. The DFB doesn’t want to make it look like it’s a taboo for us.”

“While keeping it a taboo.” Erik smiled sourly.

“Well, you know how it is. It’s not an easy situation.” Mats shrugged. He ran out of topics. Actually the national trainer didn’t specify what they were supposed to do; he just wanted to make himself clear what he expected of the nation’s bests. “But any homophobic behavior entails immediate exclusion from the team.” Erik snorted sarcastically. “What’s that?”

“Nothing.” The younger one smiled. “It’s just these empty threats that certainly sound good but we all know they wouldn’t do something like this. Not because of Marco, not because of any other gay player.”

Mats sensed that they arrived at a sore spot. He leaned closer as if he was making their conversation more confidential. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, don’t listen to me!” Erik shook his head, when he realized what he had just said. “It must be the beer. Isn’t it a bit too strong?” He tried to change the course of the conversation but chugged the rest of the drink nonetheless.

“Erik?” Mats raised an eyebrow. “Is there anything you think you should tell me?”

“No. Absolutely nothing.” He tried to speak confidently, but his voice wasn’t convincing at all.

“Erik, I see that there’s something troubling you and it might help if you shared it with someone.” He reached out to grab his hand but Erik pulled it back suddenly. “Come on, talk to me. You’re clearly upset.”

“Leave it be! Why do you care about my private life? You have no right to pry!” Now it was the alcohol speaking of him, but after all it couldn’t make you say things that weren’t in you already.

“Erik, I don’t want to be nosy. But you need someone to talk to and I’m here.” Mats tried to keep his calm.

“How could I tell _you_ how I feel when even _I_ don’t know?” Erik blurted out in a sudden rush and then he realized that he had said more than he should have.

“How you feel?” This was more serious than Mats had expected. “Erik what is going on?” Now he was panicking.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Mats. I don’t want to have this conversation. Will you take me home or do I need to call a taxi?” Erik was acting like a cornered rat.

“Okay, I’ll just pay for the beers.” He nodded and got up. He didn’t want to push Erik any more; he was already at his wits’ end.

Mats walked to the counter and paid for their order, not forgetting the generous tip he used to give in return for keeping down his frequent visits. In the meantime Erik stumbled behind him and they left the bar. They kept quiet during the drive to Erik’s place and the tension between them eased a bit.

“Thanks for the lift.” Erik nodded when Mats stopped before the apartment house where Erik lived. He tried to unfasten his seat belt but his hands were trembling too much and he gave the impression of someone pretty drunk.

“Here, let me help you.” Mats pressed the button and Erik was finally free to go. “Do you think you can get home safely from here or do I need to escort you?” He asked, making fun of Erik. He hadn’t seen him drink earlier and he found the fact that the younger one got drunk from just one beer quite funny.

“I’ll be fine.” Erik waved him off, not getting the mocking undertone of Mats’s question. He opened the door and carefully put both his feet on the pavement before he hauled himself off the seat.

“Erik, wait!” Mats called after him before he could slam the door. The younger one looked back at him. “I might be wrong here, but– if this all has something to do with Marco, I think you should talk to him. He’s worried.”

Erik didn’t say anything, just nodded and shut the door. He waited until Mats drove off and he fished out his keys from his pocket. He had some trouble putting the right key into the keyhole, but eventually he got inside. He was living on the second floor and he usually took the stairs, but he wasn’t sure it would be a good idea this time, so he waited for the elevator. He floundered inside and pushed the button next to the number two. Just as the doors closed in front of him, he reached into his pocket and got out a plastic bottle full of pills. He opened it and put two of them into his mouth and swallowed them with a great gulp. He leaned against the elevator’s wall. It wasn’t a good idea, he was sure of that. The pills didn’t do him any good and they definitely didn’t get along with alcohol, but they were the only thing that could calm his mind and put him to sleep.

 

* * *

 

In the next few days Marco was too preoccupied with his own play to realize that something was wrong with Erik. And the signs were just too obvious. He tired very soon during trainings, he had trouble concentrating and every morning he looked like he hadn’t had any sleep at all. Klopp and Mats did their best to get the reason behind the young defender’s distress, but neither of them succeeded. The coach even threatened him to rule him out of trainings for a few days, but he still didn’t get an explanation.

 

Marco in the meantime was thriving. He regained the fitness he had lost during the involuntary break, but what was more important for him, he learned to work together with his teammates. Finally he got all the passes he needed and it looked like everyone had come to terms with him. That’s exactly why he was indignant when Klopp announced the line-up the day before the next game. Marco was benched.

“Marco, is everything alright?” The coach approached him as the players were dismissed. Marco’s anger and disappointment were visible on his face.

“No.” Marco had the courage to argue with Klopp; something that he wouldn’t have done earlier. “I just don’t understand you. I’m doing great, I’m ready to get back to playing and you know that. Why were you so supportive and reassuring when you ditched me in the end?”

“Marco, I totally get your reaction.” Klopp smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. “But you have to understand: I’m coaching a team and not just you. We have other players and I think they are capable of winning the match for us. You’re not a starter but that doesn’t mean that you won’t be needed at all. And I want you to be ready when you’ll have to contribute to our success. Can you do that?”

“Yes, but–“ Marco started, but Klopp cut him short.

“There’s no but.” This time his voice was a bit firmer and had less empathy in it. “I’ve made a decision and your job is to accept it and not question it. Got it?” Marco nodded and sighed. “Your time will come, and you’ll be great then. But I’ve made a mistake before the Munich game and I don’t want to make the same mistake again. Now go home and get some rest before tomorrow!”

Marco still wanted to say something but his coach’s strict look deterred him. He turned around sulking and rushed to the locker room. He took a quick shower, threw all his things in his training bag and strode to his car, nearly tumbling down an absentminded Erik. Marco didn’t even stop to apologize, he marched on. He plopped down into the driver’s seat and punched the dashboard.

He drove home in a crazy manner, almost crashing his car thrice. He slammed both the car’s and the front door when he got home and ran into the kitchen to tear up the fridge and get out a bottle of beer. Seb caught up to him when he was taking big gulps of the freezing cold drink.

“Care to share with me what’s wrong?” His boyfriend asked a bit warily, afraid of Marco’s reaction.

“They screwed with me!” He burst out. “They made me believe I could play and then stamped on my hopes!”

“Okay, calm down a little bit.” Seb stepped to him and got the bottle away from him to replace it with his own hands. “You are not a starter tomorrow?”

“No.” Marco shook his head, now a bit more composed. “I’m benched.”

“Well, it definitely doesn’t sound like the end of the world.” Seb pointed out.

“No, it doesn’t.” Marco sighed. “But– I just wanted it so bad. I am ready, why doesn’t Kloppo see that?”

“He knows it; otherwise you wouldn’t be in the line-up at all.”

“Thanks, it’s great help.” Marco snorted.

“I’m not trying to help you. I only want you to realize how childish you are at this moment. You were always so proud of you being a team player, right? Now you have to be one. When was the last time you played a normal match? Months ago. Do you think Kloppo would put you on the pitch from kickoff if you missed this much due to an injury?”

“No. But it’s different– I wasn’t injured.” Marco started, but Seb put his finger in front of his mouth.

“Yes, you were. But this time it wasn’t your body, but your soul.” Seb smiled and Marco joined him.

“You are right. Do you think I should apologize to Kloppo? I was kind of a dick to him.”

“I don’t think so. He’ll understand. Just show your best side tomorrow, okay?”

“Will you come and watch me?” Marco looked at him with hope in his eyes. Seb had planned to stay at Marco’s place, but he couldn’t say no to his boyfriend.

 

They hit bed early, just like they did all the time before matches. Well, actually it was the first time they did it together and they lay in the same bed. Earlier, Seb wouldn’t stay at Marco’s the night before a game; it was a rule he was sticking to. They were two grown men, they should have been able to control themselves, but when they were so close to each other, they could hardly hold back the temptation. They wouldn’t necessarily had sex, but they would talk through the night, breaking their program with a few kissing sessions now and then.

This time they had no choice. Although Seb offered that he could sleep on the couch and it would be okay to him, Marco waved off his proposal and they ended up under the same blanket. After they lay down, Marco tossed and tumbled for nearly an hour. Seb kept his eyes shut, but couldn’t fall asleep either.

“You know, a sleepless night won’t help your quest to top form.” He mumbled after Marco turned around angrily for the thousandth time.

“I know. I’m sorry if I woke you up, I just can’t sleep. I’ll get some pills.” He was ready to get up, but Seb reached out after him.

“No, they could mess you up.”

“Not as much as not sleeping at all.” Marco shrugged.

“Come, I might have another solution.” Seb smiled as he pulled him back under the blanket. Marco turned on his left side, with his back to Seb. His boyfriend wrapped an arm around his chest and snuggled closer to him.

“Here. Better?” He asked, stroking the blonde’s hair. Marco nodded. “You will be great tomorrow.” He whispered in the sweetest voice that lulled Marco to sleep.

 

* * *

 

Klopp hadn’t been this tense before a football game since his first ever match in charge of Dortmund. And as he stepped on the turf, surrounded by stands and 80.000 roaring fans, he felt that it was way worse than back in 2008. Snapshots of the atrocious press conference popped up in his mind; it all felt like this wasn’t about football any longer, but about Marco. Marco, who was sitting on the back row of the bench, hiding from all the curious eyes of cameras and reporters. He looked like he could throw up any second from anxiety, although he did his best to conceal his stress.

As the referee signaled for the start of the game, Klopp’s strain somewhat reduced. He was now concentrating on his players’ performance. Fortunately, it was a match they were supposed to win easily, although he had experienced not once in his career that sometimes these were the hardest battles. This wasn’t the case today. Although the opposition had some promising chances early on, the home team soon found a natural rhythm and they cleared every threat on their penalty box.

It took them barely thirty minutes to score and they doubled their lead just before half-time. Klopp nodded approvingly when the referee ended the first half. There was a lot he wanted to tell his lads. Most notably, he wasn’t satisfied with their activity on the left flank. It was bad enough that he had to omit Erik for his dubious performance in trainings, but their attack was practically non-existent there. And they failed to threaten the opposition goal from standard situations. Two great problems that could be solved by one person. And that person was looking at him full of hopes when he turned around.

“Go get ready!” He nodded to Marco, who grinned immediately and joined his teammates from the bench in the warm-up.

They started the second half a bit lazily and Klopp wasn’t surprised when the guests pulled one back. Luckily, the Dortmund players reacted well and Auba put the third ball in the opposition’s net. An hour into the game, Klopp made the first change, it was Ilkay for Manni. Marco looked disappointed when Klopp walked back to the bench to have a gulp of water.

“Do some jogging.” He said to him smiling. Marco sprang up immediately and put on his vest. Klopp looked at him as he rushed to the end of the pitch and started his warm-up exercises. He seemed so relieved and ready to act, but at the same time, a strange feeling descended upon the coach. He had no guarantee that the crowd would greet Marco in a good way and Klopp was afraid that another bad experience could completely ruin him. If there was something he hated about his job, it was the responsibility of deciding about other people’s lives. But right now it was a risk to take.

He concentrated on the game instead and tried to ignore the growing feeling of foreboding that was about to prevail in him. It worked for the time being; he didn’t know how much minutes had passed but suddenly a member of the coaching staff asked him about Marco. He nodded and they gave him the signal to return.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Klopp asked the midfielder worriedly as the blonde was putting on his shinpads.

“Oh, just get me on the pitch finally!” Marco was half-annoyed, half-worried, Klopp could tell this much from his voice.

“Okay then.” He patted his shoulder. They called for the fourth official and just a minute later Marco was standing on the sidelines, waiting for the referee’s consent to join the game. “Play for yourself, alright?” Klopp said to him from behind when the match was stopped and Kevin started to come off the pitch. Klopp hardly ever begged, but that time, he mumbled a silent prayer. _Please, let them show support_.

He closed his eyes and hoped for the best. Suddenly, an ovation waved over the stands, as Marco crossed the white line. Klopp opened his eyes. The blonde was still jumping on his left foot, a ritual that the coach had always found ridiculous. He shot a glance at the Südtribune and he almost lost his footing. 25.000 fans held up colored pieces of paper, forming a yellow sea with a huge ‘11’ in the middle and the word ‘Reuspect’ at the bottom. The mosaic was received with an even louder cheer, if that was even possible. By now the whole Signal Iduna Park was a buzzing hive of complete support. And when everyone shouted Marco’s name when the substitution was announced, the hair on Klopp’s arms stood up.

But it was just the beginning. By every ball contact from Marco, the crowd hurrahed and the blonde clearly enjoyed it. He played with great self-confidence, dribbling past opponents as if they weren’t even there. Klopp thought it wouldn’t last long, but the fans didn’t seem to get enough of it, they supported their star player relentlessly. And Marco repaid the favor: it was just pure bad luck that two of his shots didn’t find the net.

There were like five minutes left from the game when Henrikh forged forward only for the ball to be taken away from him and to be cleared behind the goal-line for a corner. Marco started towards the flag but recoiled after a few steps. Klopp followed his gaze and realized what the problem was. The ball was in front of the away fans.

“Come on, you can do it.” Klopp mumbled encouragingly and as if Marco had heard him, he continued on his way and put the ball on the side of the corner area. The coach watched warily as Marco took a few steps backwards and then started off after the referee’s whistle. He hit the ball perfectly: it flew through air straight onto Papa’s head and from there into the net.

The crowd went crazy and Klopp’s heart skipped a few beats. He hadn’t been more relieved in his entire life. For the remaining minutes pure joy could be felt in the stadium and when the referee ended the game, Klopp had to compose himself not to run on the pitch immediately. He first shook hands with the opposition’s coach and then with a few players on the way, but he was walking towards Marco very unequivocally.

The midfielder was surrounded by his teammates, accepting congratulatory handshakes from all sides. The circle of players opened when Klopp got closer and they glanced at each other with Marco for a long time. Finally Marco jogged to him and threw himself into Klopp’s arms.

“Thank you.” He mumbled, his voice almost too weak to be heard.

“Thank _you_! You did a great job. Come on, let’s go.” He said as their group started toward the southern stand to make their usual gesture to the most loyal fans. The crowd shouted with them, as the players raised their hands in unison.

“I think you should thank them, too.” Klopp told Marco and the blonde took a few faltering steps forward.

The sight was unbelievable. One man standing in front of a crush of fans. And still, those thousands of people cheered at a single motion of Marco, who raised his hands and clapped before he took a bow. He turned around and joined his teammates. Klopp knew the midfielder would have never admitted it, but he could swear he saw Marco wiping away a few tears from his eyes.


	10. A Long Evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm totally not sure about this chapter but somehow I came up with this idea and I liked it very much. We've jumped in time a little bit, don't ask me how much, I don't know. Just enjoy reading it and don't hate me much by the time you finish it...  
> As always, your opinion is welcome.

Seb was ready to cut his wrist as he crumpled his tie after the hundredth unsuccessful try. He angrily grumbled under his breath and exhaled heavily when he prepared for giving it another go. He put the tie on his neck and started to tie it, but he ended up with his hands entangled.

“Do you need some help?” Marco asked for the hundredth time, smiling to himself as he styled his hair in the bathroom mirror. Naturally, he looked flawless. Seb’s answer was a no; he was too stubborn to give up in front of his boyfriend. The blonde walked to him nonetheless and grabbed his tie, knotting it with comfortable movements.

“Could you explain me why I have to go tonight?” Seb sighed as Marco finished his masterpiece and the knot looked indeed perfect.

“Because it is a tradition at the club. We always have a banquet before the winter break. Call it our Christmas dinner. And all players are obliged to go.”

“Okay, that’s the reason why _you_ have to be there. But what about me?” Seb argued.

“I’ve got two tickets and my other date didn’t have time.” Marco said with a playful smile forming on his lips.

“Oh, really? So I’m only your second choice?” Seb played along.

“Well, if I had anyone, I’m sure he’d be the more presentable from the two of you.”

“Thanks.” Seb pretended to be pouty. He couldn’t fool Marco though and they both burst out laughing suddenly. “You know that I’m crazy about you, right? I wouldn’t dress up like this just for anyone.”

“And I couldn’t imagine a better companion for tonight.” Marco said still smiling but his voice had seriousness to it and it warmed Seb’s heart. “But– try to behave, will you?”

“I will, I promise.” Seb put away the rebel living in him. He didn’t want to embarrass Marco and on the other hand – although he would never admit it – he was freaked out by the prospect of a great hall of people staring at him.

“No cynical comments, no swearing, no rolling your eyes?” Marco went through the mental list he must have been writing in his head for some time.

“I’ll be a good boy, _Daddy_.” Seb laughed and gave Marco a peck. The blonde drew him closer and wanted to kiss him, when his phone started to ring.

“Hallo, Mats?” Marco answered the call.

“Hey, Marco.” Seb could hear the captain’s voice through the speaker. “Have you left home yet?”

“No, we were just about to leave.”

“Listen, Erik’s a bit pussy and he doesn’t want to come.” Seb could see the sudden change in Marco’s facial expression at the defender’s name. “I know things haven’t been great between you two lately, but you are my last hope. You can stop by him on your way and–”

“Okay Mats, we will bring him with us.” Marco gave in.

“Thanks Marco, you’ll save the whole evening. You’re the best. I’ll call Erik and tell him to get ready.”

Marco hung up the phone with a sour look and turned to Seb, the affection that had been there just a few moments ago, gone from his eyes. “Shall we go?” He asked and Seb nodded.

He had no idea whether Erik had talked to Marco, but based on what Mats said and the fact that Marco hadn’t yelled his head off recently, he gathered, he hadn’t. Maybe that time he had gone too far and confronting Erik with his crush was too much on the younger one. As they were walking down the stairs with Marco, Seb wondered if he was supposed to tell Marco. After all, if Erik wasn’t willing to, someone had to explain him why they weren’t friends anymore. Finally, Seb decided that it wouldn’t be a good idea to ruin Marco’s night. He was looking forward to this gathering so much.

They were at Erik’s in less than ten minutes. Marco got out of the car and although Seb would have preferred to stay there, he pulled him with him. They rang the bell and Erik let them in. They rushed up the stairs. Erik was waiting for them half-dressed and he looked taken aback by Seb’s presence. Not that they weren’t surprised by the way he looked like. Erik’s usually joyful eyes lacked any sparkle, his face was paler than Marco’s (and that was saying something) and Seb was sure he had dropped a few pounds.

“Come on in; just give me a few minutes.”

They stepped inside. Marco asked if he could use the bathroom and he soon went there. He seemed completely ignorant of Erik’s change and Seb saw no way that could have happened. The signs were all there; how could he? But after all, he met the defender every day, and Seb knew that it was hard to seem the closest to us change. Erik left the hall for the bedroom, Seb supposed and he decided to follow him.

“I see you haven’t talked to him.” He mumbled, leaning against the doorframe. Erik turned around startled and started to button his shirt. “Erik, if I knew that it would mess you up this much, I hadn’t had said a thing.”

“Well, it’s a bit too late now, isn’t it?” Erik snorted as he reached for his suit jacket.

“You need to tell him. This cannot go on any longer, you’re a total wreck!”

“Like you care.”

“I _do_. If you don’t talk to him, I will. I’ve nearly ruined one footballer’s career, I won’t do that again.”

Erik sighed. “Okay. But not today.”

Seb nodded and they joined Marco in the lobby. It took Erik another minute to get his hair right, although Seb could have sworn he also put up some make-up. They walked to the car in complete silence. Maybe it was for the best, because the first time Marco spoke up, everything started to go on a way that lead to a horrible evening.

“So Erik, should we pick up your date too?”

_Ouch!_ Seb sighed. Even if Marco meant good, he said the words that made Erik feel the worst possible way. And he didn’t even know how much they hurt. The defender’s answer was an awkward mumbling. Seb shot him an apologetic glance through the rear mirror, but by then Erik was staring out the window absentmindedly.

 

* * *

 

BVB had its year-ending gala in an elegant hotel in the heart of Dortmund. There was no big fuss, and Seb was very grateful for it. As they stopped in front of the wide entrance, a valet walked to them and offered to park the car for Marco. So they all got out and headed towards the building. In the lobby they were greeted by Mats. The team’s captain was well groomed, his hair was neatly styled, and his dress fit his body perfectly.

“You’re here finally! I guess we can start soon, then.” He shook hands with Erik who continued on his walk as if nothing had happened. Mats turned to the two of them. “Thanks for bringing him, it’s my first time as a captain and I don’t want to screw up. Not being able to get the whole team counts like that.”

“It’s okay, Mats, just chill out finally.” Marco laughed. “I haven’t seen you this nervous.”

“You know I’m the captain now: I shall only rest in the grave.” Mats smiled before he turned to Seb, addressing his next words to him. “I’m really glad you came.”

“The pleasure is mine.” Seb nodded and his voice hid no signs of sarcasm, much to Marco’s surprise. Maybe Seb could behave normally after all.

They walked to the huge conference room that was packed with players, members of the staff and their escorts. Seb knew instantly he would stick out from such a presentable bunch of people. As if Marco read his mind, he reached out for Seb’s hand and squeezed it as they were ushered by Mats to their table. Gazing eyes followed them all the way, but it wasn’t that uncomfortable anymore. They were seated along with the captain, Sebastian and Neven. After Marco introduced Seb properly to his teammates and their girlfriends, they finally sat down. Erik sat just two tables away from them and was already asking one waiter to refill his glass with champagne. It took the gathering some time to settle down and the club’s president could take the stage to give his opening speech.

He praised in detail the team’s performances so far in the season and he went on to emphasize the values they had stood up for and the solidarity they showed (and at that point he gazed at Marco for a long time). It was all too long and boring, if you asked Seb, but the president still got a huge applause after he finished. He was replaced by Watzke and the chairman gave another gushy speech, full of hidden but unambiguous references to Marco. After that, Klopp’s short and expressive summary was real refreshing. As the last sounds of applause faded, Mats sprung up from his chair and rushed to the stage, careful not to spill a single drop of his champagne.

“Okay, I know you don’t want to hear any more, so I’ll be short. Thank you for this wonderful year. It’s been very hard for me to get used to my new role, but you made it easier. I don’t think any captain could wish for a better team to lead. So here’s to BVB and another great year!”

He lifted his glass and everyone in the ballroom stood up. Clinking of glasses could be heard all over the place as Mats jogged back to their table to share a kiss with his girlfriend and Neven with Sebastian followed his suit. _What the hell should we do now?_ Seb sent a desperate look to Marco, who just raised his glass and took a sip, unable to hide his smirk. Seb faintly nodded and drank. Mats looked at the two of them a bit disapprovingly but his concerns were soon forgotten thanks to the dinner being served.

They chattered over dinner: the four footballers discussing their chances for the remainder of the season, the three girls sharing their Christmas and winter break plans and Seb– he was eating quietly and trying to pretend that he had a good time. This was the reason he didn’t want to come at all; he knew he would be an outsider. Not that he blamed Marco; the blonde deserved to finally have a night he could enjoy and he indeed relished the time spent with his friends. But Seb wasn’t a footballer, so he wasn’t one of _them_ , but he didn’t want to be grouped with various escorts, dates and girlfriends either.

So he decided to study those present. At least that was what he told himself; basically he was just staring at Erik. Not that it was such a pleasant activity. _It’s my fault_ , Seb realized and he started to have twinges of conscience. If he had known he would cause such distress to Erik, he would have kept his mouth shut. The defender shot a few quick glances in their way – in Marco’s way – and then Seb saw something he hadn’t expected, even if he should have: guilt. He had been there and he guessed most gays were too: the feeling of self-condemnation for just thinking about loving someone of their own gender. He remembered how hard it had been for him to get over it and learn to accept himself and Erik apparently wasn’t having an easier time.

“Seb?” A woman’s voice startled him. He turned back to their table and realized that now all eyes were fixated on him. “I’ve asked what plans you had with Marco for the holidays.”

It was Mats’s girlfriend, Cathy, if he remembered her name right. So in the end, he was grouped with the WAGs, he sighed but he found the idea ridiculous at the same time. All were expecting now an answer from him, except for Marco. Seb could almost hear the blonde’s voice in his head asking him to be nice.

“Well, we haven’t really made any plans. You know, we haven’t had the opportunity lately.” He said and Marco looked at him approvingly. _Don’t worry, Seb’s been a good boy_ , he thought to himself sourly.

“Oh, right. I’m sorry. It’s my bad.” Cathy hesitated.

The conversation languished there and everyone realized that it was impossible to ask anything personal from Marco or Seb without touching a sore spot. But the party didn’t stop and as more and more players got more comfortable they started to walk to other tables.

“Can I leave you alone here?” Marco leaned over to him. Seb nodded. “Are you sure? If it’s not okay with you, it’s alright.”

“Just go finally and enjoy yourself.” Seb tossed him laughing, hoping he could conceal his dark thoughts. The midfielder looked at him for a long time, before squeezing his hand and getting up. It seemed that they were still restricted to squeezing hands in public places, Seb sighed. Marco walked over to a table in the other end of the ballroom and he started talking to Auba. Seb leaned back happily: at least one of them was having a good time.

 

* * *

 

Marco lost track of time. He was passionately telling Auba about a movie he had seen recently when he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder. He turned around to see Mats standing over him. There was a smile on the captain’s face and Marco suspected that Mats’s happiness wasn’t the only source of it and the alcohol the defender had had probably had something to do with it too.

“Can I talk to you?” Mats’s grin never faded.

“Sure.” Marco nodded, waiting for the defender to blurt out what he wanted to say.

“I meant in private.” Mats explained, this time more seriously and then turned to the Gabonese. “No offence.”

“It’s okay.” Auba raised his hands and laughed.

Marco stood up reluctantly and followed the taller man. No discussion that started with ‘Can I talk to you’ ended up with anything pleasant and the midfielder had a feeling that this wasn’t going to be the first one to do so. Mats lead him to the hall, stopping just beside the doors.

“So, what is this about?” Marco asked. If he had to go through it all, he’d better got over with it as soon as possible.

“Ergh– I don’t really know how to say it.” _Great, this is going to be worse than I expected_ , Marco thought. “I know you asked me not to, but I talked to Erik. He didn’t exactly tell me what made him avoid you, but I guess I have a pretty good idea. I might be wrong here, but based on what he said and how he said it, I think–” Mats hesitated for a bit, then took a deep breath before heaving out his theory. “I suspect Seb suggested that Erik might have– well, feelings for you beyond friendship.”

A wave of shock ran through Marco. He was left motionless by the captain’s words and he dropped his jaw in surprise. Seb did _what_? Of course Mats could have been wrong and Marco hoped he was, but he didn’t find the idea too groundless. It was something Seb could have said easily and it would have explained Erik’s strange behavior. The younger one of course couldn’t have known that Seb didn’t tell Marco about his theory and he could have thought it best if he stayed out of Marco’s way for the time being. Marco felt anger taking over his mind.

“I’m going to kill him!” He shouted as he rushed past Mats. The defender tried to stop him and he said something rapidly that Marco couldn’t hear.

He stepped inside the ballroom and searched for his boyfriend. His chair was empty which surprised Marco. He took a glance at the buffet, but Seb was nowhere near it. Marco’s eyes started to sweep the room and it gave him some time to cool down. Otherwise he would have shouted straight at Seb when he finally found him next to Kevin. _What the hell they have to talk about?_ Marco knew that out of the Dortmund players, Seb valued Kevin the least. A bit more composed, he strode over to their table, but his steps were still too stormy not too cause any attention from a number of players, including Erik.

“Come with me!”

Marco cut all the refinement Mats managed to employ. It was more like a harsh order and Seb got at the first time that there was no place for objection. He sprung up and obliged as Marco drew him to the restroom and closed the door behind them.

“Are you completely mad?” Marco burst out and Seb fancied that any precaution taken by the blonde was useless and he could be heard in the ballroom despite the music. “Have you lost your mind? Have you no senses at all?”

“First of all, calm down and then tell me what you are talking about.”

“Oh, you know very well what I’m talking about! Why did you accuse Erik of having some feelings for me?”

“Did he tell you that?” Seb asked, unaware that he had just admitted his actions.

“Shit, Seb!” Marco exclaimed even louder and Seb rather didn’t think about what the people outside thought they were doing after that sentence. “How could you? Why would you?”

“I presume he didn’t tell you then.” Seb sighed. He was fucked.

“Were you jealous that I got along with him or what? Tell me, because I don’t understand.”

“First of all, it was not an accusation. It was the truth. I still think he has a crush on you.” There was no place for mincing his words.

“What?” Marco stammered and he dropped his jaw for the second time in a few minutes time.

“He loves you, Marco.” Seb put it even more legibly.

“You’re mad!” Marco laughed. “Do you think if he loved me he would have been so hostile after I told them I was gay?”

“Yes, if you were the living proof that he could never be completely happy.” Seb said dryly and he noticed that he was starting to convince his boyfriend. “And don’t forget that he was the first one to apologize. Marco, it’s not an if: Erik loves you.”

“But– but this can’t be true.” Marco whispered completely bewildered. He no longer questioned Seb’s opinion because it fit in all too well. Thinking of it now it seemed the only logical explanation. “But still, you think you are the most competent to talk to him about me?”

“Well, he wasn’t the first one I had to deal with who had a crush on you.”

“Now what’s that supposed to mean?” Marco snapped.

“Remember the crazy fangirls wherever we went?” Seb was annoyed. “You posed and flirted with them and what was left for me? I had to sit there and pretend that I was okay with everything. And I was your boyfriend, for fuck’s sake!”

“I–” Marco was speechless. Seb was right– again. And he had never even thought of it this way. Interacting with fans was natural to him and never imagined it could hurt Seb but now he saw that it must have. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, you must know that.”

“Marco, I didn’t say it to make you feel bad.” Seb sighed. He spoke with long pauses between his sentences. “I don’t know why I’ve said it at all. I guess I just held it back for too long. But please, talk to Erik. He’s a complete wreck and he needs you.”

“Okay.” Marco nodded and left.

 

When he stepped out of the restroom, everyone at the party had already minded his own business again. There was nothing that would have suggested that something notable had happened. A few eyes shot a look at Marco as he reappeared, but that was it: nothing could ruin the atmosphere. Marco swept the room with his eyes, but he couldn’t find Erik. And then Mats bumped into him.

“Marco, you’ve got to listen to me!” He started hurriedly. “It’s not only that Seb said something about Erik’s feelings, I think he was right.”

“Thanks, Mats, it’s already late for that.” Marco informed Mats, who was a few steps behind. “Have you seen Erik?”

“He just rushed outside.” Mats said casually, but his eyes widened when he came to a conclusion. “You didn’t say anything to him, right?”

But once again, Marco didn’t wait for him to finish his sentence. He ran out of the ballroom, into the main lobby, pushing the front door and stepping outside the cold night. He could not see the young defender. He jumped down the stairs and shouted his name. He was about to run a bit down the street hoping that he would catch up to him, when a weak voice came from behind.

“I’m here.”

Marco turned around and saw Erik sitting on the side of the stairs, in the shadows. Marco walked to him and sat down. They stared before themselves and for a long time not a single word was spoken.

“Is it true?” Marco finally broke the silence. There was no need for further explanation.

“It doesn’t matter, does it?” Erik smiled sourly.

“Of course it does, Erik! I want to hear it from you.”

Erik suddenly turned to him and Marco could see the traces of tears left on his cheeks. “I love you, Marco! Satisfied?”

Marco was taken aback. He didn’t know what he had expected, but somehow he had hoped that it was just a huge misunderstanding and a few days later they would only laugh at their stupidity. But now suddenly everything became real. Erik was in love with him. The realization hit him in the heart and he had no idea what he could do. Erik turned away from him and then Marco noticed he was grasping something.

“What’s this?” He leant closer to examine the plastic bottle. He could hardly read the letters printed on its label, but when he did, he was shocked. “Geez, Erik, that’s some serious shit!” He shouted. Erik’s reply was a simple shrug of shoulder.

“Did you need it because of me?” Marco gulped.

“It’s not your fault. I’ll come to terms with myself.” Erik whispered, but Marco could make out of his voice that he didn’t believe what he had said.

“You can’t do that alone.” Marco slid closer to him. It was really cold outside and Erik’s body offered him some warmth.

“And what can _you_ do about it, Marco? I’m in love with you but you don’t feel the same way. I get it, there’s no need to sympathize with the miserable guy.”

“I don’t think you’re miserable.” Marco bent forward to be able to look Erik in the eyes. “And I don’t want you to be in pain. It’s about more than your feelings, right?”

Erik nodded, swallowing back his tears. “What’s wrong with me, Marco?” He whined as all the hurt he had kept back emerged suddenly. “I’ve never felt like this before. I’m not gay, that can’t be! But last year I realized that I wanted something more from you than friendship. At first I thought it was just some crazy bro crush. You know, something like Mario and you have. I knew that the heart could do stupid things and come up with stupid feelings. I hoped it would go away, but it didn’t. It was easy to control it though. I kept saying myself that I stood no chance and you were straight so I should stop being pathetic.”

“And then I came out.” Marco whispered.

“Yes. And from then on it just got worse.” Erik sobbed. Marco put his arm around his shoulder and the younger one leaned into the touch. Maybe it wasn’t intentional, and Marco was feeling uncomfortable about it, but if it helped Erik just a little bit, he could endure it.

“It’s okay, Erik.” He hushed him.

“No, it’s not.” The defender shook his head. “What’s gonna happen to us?”

“I don’t know.” Maybe Marco was harsh, but he didn’t want to lull Erik with untruthful words.

“But please don’t hate me.” Erik suddenly lifted his head and looked straight into Marco’s eyes. His hid an amount of fear that Marco thought impossible.

“Erik, I could never hate you. Not for how you feel.” He drew Erik even closer to himself and the younger one buried his head in Marco’s chest. The blonde pressed his lips against Erik’s forehead in reassurance. “Come on, it’s cold here. We should get inside before we catch some serious cold.” He tried to pull up Erik, but he couldn’t be moved.

“I don’t want to go in there.” He shook his head. “I must look awful and they will raise a lot of unnecessary questions.”

“Okay.” Marco nodded. He fully understood Erik. Just a few weeks earlier he was in the same position. “I’ll get our coats then. Wait here, I’m taking you home.”

“No, I can’t ask you that.” Erik sprang up in hasty objection. “I’ll call a taxi. You stay here and enjoy the rest of the night.”

“No way! I couldn’t sleep anyway until I knew you were alright.” Marco was adamant. “I’ll be back in a second.”

He rushed inside. Seb was standing in the doorway to the ballroom an expression of worry and guilt on his face. Marco strode over to him to give him some sort of relief. He was clearly feeling bad for Erik’s state and this was new to Marco. He hadn’t questioned that his boyfriend cared about people, but he usually didn’t let it reflect on his behavior.

“How is he?” Seb asked before Marco could say anything.

“You were right.” Marco sighed. “Gosh, I feel so stupid! I should have known, I should have seen. The signs were all there and yet, I failed to connect them.”

“It’s understandable. You were going through a lot on your own.”

“Thanks.” Marco nodded. “I’m taking him home now. Could you tell Mats that we’re leaving?”

“Oh, okay.” Seb couldn’t hide his surprise. “I’ll wait for you at home.”

 

Marco turned around and walked to the cloakroom. Seb watched as he collected Erik’s and his coat. Before he stepped outside, he waved at Seb and he accepted his goodbye with a faint nod. Suddenly a sour feeling rushed over him. It all seemed to him that it was just the beginning of something even worse. He went back to the ballroom nonetheless. He didn’t need to search for Mats: the captain was waiting impatiently on the other side of the door.

“Marco took Erik home.” Seb explained before Mats asked anything. He walked past him to his chair and slumped down on it.

What went wrong? He was in no mood of coming to this gala in the first place, but after some time spent among the people working for the club, he found himself amused. While Marco was speaking with his friends, he had been making new acquaintances. He hadn’t felt this great for a long time and then, Mats blurted out this whole stupid thing to Marco. Couldn’t he wait for just one day, he wondered.

He soon got enough of it. When you’re the only sad person in a group full of cheerful people, the whole world seems gloomy. He got up after half an hour and went for his coat. The night got even colder. On any other occasion, he would have walked home, but he wanted to get back as soon as possible. To get back to Marco. To be with him and tell him how sorry he was.

He called a taxi and arrived at Marco’s house in fifteen minutes. The driveway was empty. He walked inside and plopped down on the couch. He didn’t even turn the lights on. The darkness felt so suitable to his mood.

He couldn’t tell when he fell asleep, but he was startled awake by his phone buzzing in his pocket. He got it out quickly and read the message Marco had sent him.

 

_I’m staying here for the night. Everything’s fine, see you tomorrow._

 

Seb retired to the bedroom and lay down, but he didn’t feel exhausted any longer. Whenever he closed his eyes, the image of something horrible appeared in front of him. He sighed as he murmured a silent prayer. He could only hope that neither Erik nor Marco was going to make a huge mistake.


	11. An Offer You Can't Refuse

They arrived at Erik’s place after a dumb drive. Marco focused on the slippery road, shooting a few glances at the defender. The youngster still looked horribly, but somehow the blonde felt he was in a much better shape now. For the most part he just stared out the windshield. His tears dried up but his eyes were still swollen from crying. When they stopped in front of Erik’s apartment house, they both sighed at the same time.

“Do you want me to go up with you?” Marco broke the silence.

Erik nodded and they got out of the car. They climbed the stairs trying to make as little noise as possible. Marco couldn’t help but wonder what the neighbors thought of Erik. But after all, he wasn’t that much of a partying type. He opened the door and let Marco in before stepping inside. He switched on the lights and the sudden brightness made Marco blink. When he opened his eyes again, Erik was standing uncomfortably close to him, his bodies almost touching. Marco would have liked to blame it on the size of the hall, but it wasn’t as small as not to be big enough for two grown-up men.

“Do you want a beer?” Erik asked and Marco said yes in his abashment before he could remember that he was supposed to drive that night. _One bottle won’t hurt_ , he reasoned to himself. He followed Erik to the kitchen and realized this was the first time he was at the defender, apart from his earlier visit that evening.

If he didn’t know he was at Erik’s though, he would have guessed it easily: the apartment had Erik written all over it. The furniture was low-key but modern at the same time. It was great evidence of the younger one’s modesty and reservedness. Something that Marco had always found astonishing but only now he questioned if it was that natural to Erik, or was it the result of his withheld feelings.

Erik returned with two bottles in his hand and led the way to a spacious living room. As they entered, Marco ran through the pictures hung on the wall with his eyes. Most of them were family photos and of Erik with his friends, but there were some with the team and one with only Marco. He remembered that picture; they took it on an unofficial ‘team-building’ Kevin had organized. They rented a wooden house in the forest and it was a stroke of luck there was so many of them there, so they could pull together all the pieces of what happened.

They sat down on a white sofa, both staring at their beers. It wasn’t that fascinating, but neither of them wanted to start the conversation they ought to have. In a way, they were already having it. They didn’t utter a single word, but they both led a talk in their heads. Not with each other, but with their own thoughts. But soon the silence became harder to bear and finally it was Erik who spoke up.

“I’m not sure about myself, you know?” His voice now lacked all pain. It was simply emotionless. “I mean– I don’t think I’m gay. But can it be? How could I love you if I’m not attracted to men? Or is it just my heart screwing with me?”

He looked at Marco with great anticipation. Maybe he was expecting some soothing words from him. But he couldn’t give them to him. He wasn’t an expert. Sure, he went through the same process in his life, but he couldn’t know Erik’s feelings. He couldn’t read Erik’s heart, not when even the defender couldn’t.

“I don’t know.” He said after a long pause. “Only you can answer that. But don’t reject any possibility. Are you sure you have never loved another guy? Maybe in your teenage years?”

Erik shook his head. “Well, I’m not saying I never checked out other guys, but that’s normal, right? I mean, I never considered dating one of them. No kissing, no _that_.” He blushed. “And then I forgot about it completely. I was focusing on my career; I had no time for serious relationships.”

Marco smiled sourly. It was the same lie he used to tell himself over and over again. But he was old and smart enough to know that no matter what the mind says, the heart cannot be fooled. He clearly remembered that Erik once told him that he had never had a girlfriend, but he thought this wasn’t the right time to remind him that.

“It all changed when I started playing for Dortmund and I met you.” Erik continued. Marco couldn’t help but notice that it sounded like he was the one to blame, but he stayed silent. The defender certainly didn’t mean it that way. “I didn’t fall in love with you at first sight, but after I came to know you, it was hard not to.”

Erik sighed and Marco put a hand on his shoulder. “You don’t have to tell me all this if you don’t want to.”

Erik shook his head and swallowed back his tears. “No, I think it will be better if I tell you all. You deserve it.”

“Okay then, go on.” Marco sighed. Honestly, he didn’t want to know any of it. Any more details just would have made him sorrier for the younger one.

“I freaked out. You know, my father isn’t that acceptive with these kinds of things. I couldn’t talk to anyone and I wouldn’t. I was in a new environment, completely on my own. So I kept my feelings to myself.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Marco asked and immediately realized how stupid he was.

“I didn’t know how you would react. I had no idea you were gay. Plus, I wasn’t sure about my feelings either. I still hoped that my heart was just playing with me. I wish it did.” Now every sentence was harder to say for Erik. “But there I was, hopelessly fallen for you. I tried to make myself hate you. The harder I tried, the more I loved you. Before I knew I was crazy about you. It was like being stuck in a spider web. And I ended up hating myself for not being strong enough to acknowledge my true feelings. I was a coward and a disgrace.”

“Don’t talk like that, Erik!” Marco scolded him.

“But it’s true! Look at you! You found a way to accept yourself. Of course, it must have hurt you a lot, but here you are, through with your troubles. You’re a happy man, Marco. And me? I’m a loser.”

“That’s enough!” Marco snapped, grabbing Erik with both hands and shaking him angrily. “You stop talking about yourself like this, understood? You are not a loser. You just happen to be confused by your feelings. It’s completely okay.”

“No, it’s not.” Erik sighed. “You don’t understand. I cannot be gay. What chance would I stand if I were? And don’t try to persuade me that this is an all-accepting world, because that’s bullshit and you know that more than anyone! You had it easier. You were already a star, an idol when you came out.” _And I also had a lot to lose,_ Marco added in himself. “It was just a question of time when they finally let you alone, not a question of if. But what about me? Who would want me?”

“So you plan on denying who you are?” Marco asked quietly.

“Oh, don’t give me the upper hand here!” Erik snorted. “You are no different me. That’s exactly what you did.”

Marco could not argue with that. He shot down his eyes and stared at the floor embarrassed. Was he supposed to tell Erik how sorry he was he had chosen that way? It would have sounded so hypocritical. The defender sighed next to him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s okay, you have a point.” Marco admitted. “But let me tell you something. Don’t care about your future just for now. First, you should pull yourself together. Give it some time and don’t worry much about anything else. When you know how you feel, you can make a decision.”

“Was it this hard for you?” Erik asked shyly after a long silence.

“No.” Marco said simply. He leant back on the sofa and chugged the remaining beer. Maybe Erik expected a life story from him, but he didn’t feel they were so close friends.

“I’ll get you another one.” Erik pointed at his now empty bottle and stood up.

“No, thanks.” Marco sprung up. “I should be going anyways.” He added a bit calmer.

“Please, don’t!” Erik blurted out and shot down his eyes after he realized what he had said. “I mean– you’ve already had one beer and the roads are icy. Wouldn’t it be wiser if you stayed here for the night?”

“Do you want me to stay here?” Marco asked, seeing through Erik’s lame excuses and the defender nodded shyly. “Okay, then bring me another beer.” Marco sighed.

He sent a message to Seb and they talked until late in the night, stopping only when they ran out of beer, topics and energy. Erik offered Marco to sleep in the bed, but the blonde settled for the sofa and lay down before the host could say anything. He fell asleep before Erik returned to the living room with a blanket. The thought, that sleeping over at someone who had a helpless crush on him wasn’t the best choice, never crossed his mind.

 

* * *

 

Seb woke up to Marco’s fidgeting with his keys early in the morning. Not that he had much sleep during the night; he had been dozing off then jerking awake immediately. He couldn’t get rid of his worries and they returned in extra strength when he heard Marco’s keys turn in the lock. His boyfriend entered the house very warily, careful not to make any noise. It didn’t last long though, when he toppled an umbrella stand over. Seb shut his eyes.

 _If he had been drinking God knows what could have happened!_ From then on he took every single noise as a confirmation of Marco’s night spent drinking with Erik. What on another morning he would have considered a gentle shutting of the cupboard door intensified by the silence in the house now seemed as if Marco had slammed it because of his tipsiness. The blonde soon walked on the stairs, straight to the bathroom. He closed the door behind himself and got ready for a shower, based on what Seb heard.

Indeed, a few moments later Marco started the water and stepped into the shower stall. _He’s washing Erik off himself now_ , Seb sighed and the thought made him retch. He got up and opened the window, to let some fresh air in. The cold hit his face but couldn’t chase away his preoccupation. He didn’t want to believe that Marco had slept with Erik. He wouldn’t, but his mind kept saying that he could. His heart dictated that it just wasn’t right. He wasn’t surprised that the blonde empathized with the defender; Marco tried to cheer up anyone who was distressed because of him. But still, solacing someone and getting into bed with him was a huge difference.

Seb sighed and closed the window before he walked to the bathroom door, deciding to wait for Marco there. The midfielder appeared a few minutes later, his hair ruffled and damp. Just a few people saw him this way and Seb was supposed to be happy that he was one of them, but his worries stopped him from having any rational thought. He had planned to confront Marco instantly, but his tongue failed him. He shoved himself against Marco.

“What’s this?” Marco couldn’t hide his astonishment as he wrapped his arms around Seb’s hips.

“Nothing. I’m just so happy that you’re finally here.” Seb said, his voice cracking and his face buried in Marco’s bare chest. His emotions were clearly taking over him.

“How much did you drink last night?” Marco laughed as he gently pulled away a bit from Seb to be able to look into his eyes. He immediately noticed the strange expression on his boyfriend’s face. “What’s wrong? Did something happen yesterday?” He was panicking.

“No.” Seb shook his head. He was on the verge of crying and his quiet sobs must have given him away. “But why didn’t you come home?”

“I’m sorry. Erik didn’t want me to leave.” _Well, I wanted you to be here next to me_ , Seb thought to himself. “We’ve had a few drinks afterwards. I had no idea you would miss me so much.”

“So you just talked and drank?” Seb asked.

“Yes.” Marco nodded. “What did you expect? That we sprang at each other and had passionate sex?” He asked jokingly, unintentionally guessing right.

“I don’t know.” Seb mumbled. “Didn’t you?”

Marco took a step back and looked at Seb horrified. It was moments like this when Seb wished he had puppy eyes that would have made everything extremely cute, possibly even jealousy. Marco’s eyes examined him, looking for the slightest sign of that this all was just a prank. But he saw nothing like that: Seb was dead serious.

“Geez, Seb! How can you even think about it?” Marco snapped at him and rightly so.

“Please, just answer me.” Seb said, trying to sound as miserable as possible, which wasn’t hard, since he was taking miserableness to the limit. It seemed to have worked, since Marco broke into a smile and lifted Seb’s head.

“Oh, Seb! I wish you could trust me more. I would never leave you for anyone.”

“You’re not mad at me?” Seb raised his eyebrows.

“How could I be?” Marco’s grin grew even wider. “Okay, you shouldn’t have supposed that Erik and me, well _that_ , but I find your jealousy adorable. So no, I won’t get mad over something this trivial. We’ve been through much more than this.”

“Thank you.” Seb whispered as he embraced Marco again, pulling him into a tight grip. “I couldn’t believe that you would– Forget it! I promise I won’t question your love again.”

Ten minutes later they sat down in the kitchen, ready to have breakfast. Marco put on some clothes while Seb prepared scrambled eggs, dividing it into two portions, with the midfielder’s being significantly bigger than his. Marco always ate more than he due to his more demanding lifestyle.

“So how is Erik doing?” Seb asked when he made a pause in eating.

“I think he’s going to be fine. He just needed to get some things out of him. And I listened to much more than I would have liked.” Marco addressed his words to no-one specifically.

“You’re a great friend to him.” Seb smiled, reaching over the table, resting his hand on Marco’s.

“Can we not talk about this now?” Marco complained; he was clearly uncomfortable.

“Yeah, sure. Sorry.” Seb nodded.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about what Cathy asked last evening.” Marco said casually then explained in further detail as he saw Seb’s clueless face. “About _our_ holiday. And that you said we had no plans. Well, why don’t we go spend a week someplace to get away from our problems?”

“Well, I don’t know–” Seb hesitated. “I mean, things just got better. Don’t you want to finally enjoy the relative peace?”

“That’s what I’m talking about.” Marco cried out. “I’ve had enough of the city; I want to switch off for a few days.”

“Okay, we can talk about it later.” Seb nodded. He decided not to share the real reason behind his objection: he didn’t know how people would treat them abroad.

 

Marco knew they wouldn’t talk again about a trip. He had hoped that his boyfriend would be more flexible, but somehow he wasn’t surprised with his reaction. Whenever they reached this point in one of their disputes, there was nowhere to go. They would stick to their own opinion and ended up with one of them sacrificing himself for the other one. And in this case, Marco saw no chance that Seb would comply with his plans. Luckily for Marco though, things solved themselves when his phone rang later that day.

“Hey Marco, I haven’t heard about you for ages! How are you doing, bro?” Mario’s voice greeted him.

“Fine, thanks. What about you?” Marco smiled. His best friend never seemed to run out of kindness when it came to him.

“Great! Hey listen, I’m going to Dortmund for Christmas and I really miss you.”

“Okay, we could meet some time.”

“Well, I didn’t exactly mean that.” Mario started in a suggestive tone. “First I must ask you if you made any plans for after Christmas.”

“No, why? What are you–”

“Great.” Mario cut him short before he could finish his question. “You know, I felt so bad that I wasn’t near you when you needed me the most and on top of that I forgot to get you any present, so here’s my proposition. I’m going to celebrate New Year with Ann-Kathrin to Sydney. I’m going to book two more tickets and you’re coming with us. What do you say?”

Marco was left speechless for a few seconds. “Um– that is very nice of you. But are you sure it’s okay for Ann-Kathrin? I don’t want to ruin anything.”

“Yes, I’ve already asked her. Don’t worry about anything, you only have to say yes.” Marco could imagine the smile on Mario’s face.

“Okay, I’ll ask Seb and give you a call.” Marco gave in willingly. “And Mario? Thank you. Not just for this but for everything you’ve done for me.”

 

* * *

 

Seb wasn’t fond of the idea but Marco persuaded him that they couldn’t turn down such a lovely invitation. So he called back Mario to let him know that they were in. The brunette got excited and shouted into his phone in delight. He reassured Marco that they would have a great time, something that he doubted, but agreed anyway.

They were spending Christmas at Marco’s parents’ because there was no way he could drop out of the family dinner. He didn’t mind it though. He loved them very much and Christmas gave him an opportunity to somehow repay the support his family had shown him. On Christmas Eves the Reus household was full of life. The whole family reunited for just these few days. In any other case it would have led to great rows, but they were always appreciative with each other and if the children lifted up their voices, their mother made sure that they changed their attitudes.

They arrived at the house early in the morning. If Seb was nervous at all, he didn’t let it be seen. He walked next to Marco very comfortably. It was long since the first time he came along for a visit, and he got along with Marco’s parents. They accepted him as Marco’s boyfriend easily and by now he had grown to be treated as a family member. Seb had also met Marco’s sisters. They didn’t become fond of him, mostly because of his straight-forward manner, but they could easily understand why Marco chose him. As Melanie had put it: ‘Seb is almost always right. The problem is that he doesn’t know how to tell the truth in a non-offensive way.’

As they entered the house, they could smell the delicious cakes. Soon they heard footsteps and Nico appeared in the doorway leading to the kitchen, toddling towards his uncle. Marco smiled and crouched, waiting for the kid with open arms. Just as he caught him and lifted him in the air, all the female members of the family joined them in the hall, pouring all their love on Marco. Seb stepped aside, waiting for his turn. In the end, it was only Marco’s mom that gave him a hug; his sisters only shot resigned looks at him, but that was more than enough for him.

“Come on in for a tea!” Frau Reus invited them further inside. “The boys will be back soon. They went to do some last-minute shopping.” She smiled, leading the way to the kitchen.

In that moment, Thomas Reus and Yvonne’s husband, Hans stepped in with a remarkable amount of shopping bags. Seb was the closest to them and he took a few of them from Marco’s father.

“Thank you, Seb.” He smiled, his deep voice echoing in the room. “When did you arrive?”

“Just a minute ago.” Marco answered, still amazed by his boyfriend’s behavior. Seb could always be nice when with Marco’s family and the blonde wondered why that was. He suspicioned he had only selfish reasons. Seb must have known that Marco’s parents were the only ones who could persuade him that maybe they weren’t meant for each other after all. But whatever his grounds were, he impressed Marco whenever they came over to his parents’.

 

The Christmas tree was put up in an hour, much to Nico’s joy. While Hans and Marco’s father went outside to decorate the house, Melanie served as Frau Reus’s assistant in the kitchen, Marco and Yvonne sat down in the living room, keeping a vary eye on Seb and Nico who played together on the carpet.

“Nico seems to like him.”

“Well, no wonder. They’re basically at the same mental age.” Marco noted and Yvonne laughed at his remark.

“But really, Marco, how serious are you two?” She asked, keeping her voice low, not to be heard.

“I don’t really know. One day I can imagine my entire life with him, the next day I could strangle him with my bare hands. But I believe that in essence, he is a good guy.”

“Oh I’m sure you think more of him.” She smiled. “Admit it, you are crazy about him. I know you ever since you were as small as Nico. There was only one thing that could excite you, and that was football. You’d tried a lot of other things, but you got bored by them. That is, until Seb came along. I wouldn’t have thought that you could stick to someone as much as you stick to him.” Marco didn’t say anything, he just smiled. Yvonne was right and her words raised a curious question in Marco.

 

In the evening they all gathered around the tree to give each other their presents: all the boxes and bags could barely fit under it. They exchanged gifts; Marco got jewelries from his parents and a huge load of sets of DVDs from his sisters. But Seb’s present, two concert tickets completely blew his mind. It wasn’t the tickets itself; they were symbolic to Marco. If Seb was willing to go with him to listen to ‘his kind of music’, it was something to cherish. Especially considering how much Seb hated buying presents. Marco usually tried to reassure him that he was the best present he could get, but Seb always came up with the weirdest ideas that could cheer him up.

“Thank you.” Marco said as he hugged Seb and gave him a peck. It still felt strange to kiss him in front of others, even when it wasn’t the first time they did so in front of Marco’s parents. Actually, they were the only ones in the presence of who Marco felt comfortable enough to kiss Seb.

But Marco was left even more spellbound when Seb gave every member of his family a present. He was so touched that he could barely hold back his tears. Although Seb was better at concealing his feelings, Marco could tell he shared his when Marco gave him a box set of his favorite comic series (he still couldn’t understand what he liked about them).

They called the evening over early, mostly because of Nico who thought it unfair that he was the only one to have to go sleep. As Marco was getting ready in the bathroom to go to bed, his mother stepped in and hugged him tight.

“What’s wrong, Mom?” He asked worried after they parted.

“Nothing.” She smiled through her tears. “I’m just so happy for you. It was so nice to see you two together after all that happened. It shows how much you love each other. You should appreciate him, Marco.”

“I do.” Marco smiled. “But Mom. Do you really like him?”

“Well, he certainly has his own ways of doing things, but once you get used to them, it’s hard not to like him.” She smiled and left the bathroom, leaving behind a puzzled Marco.

 

Five minutes later he was sitting with Seb on his old bed, cuddled to each other. Marco rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder, listening to his even breathing. It was a perfect moment; he wished it could last forever.

“I still can’t believe you’re willing to come with me to listen R&B.”

Seb pulled away a bit from him and looked at him with a mischievous smile. “Me? I bought two tickets so you could take someone with you.” He laughed.

“Well, in that case I want to take you.” Marco smiled, pecking him.

“Darn it, I knew I should have stuck to that watch.” Seb faked annoyance.

“No, you shouldn’t have. This was the perfect present.” Marco whispered. “You made me so happy. Actually–” He got up driven by a sudden thought and crouched down in front of Seb, taking his hands in his own.

“I love you, Seb. You are a jerk sometimes and you often irritate me, but I have never loved anyone the way I love you. You have showed your real side in the last months and I couldn’t have asked for a better support than you were. You never cease to amaze me and you make me fall in love with you over and over again. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I could repay everything you’ve done for me. I feared that anything I could offer you would be too little compared to what you gave me. And then I realized there was a hole in my life. A hole only you can fill. Seb, I want to ask you something, but bear in mind that I’m gonna die if you say no.”

“Marco, what are you trying to do?” Seb asked, his face turned paler than white.

“Seb Kruse, will you be my agent?” Marco said, barely managing to withhold his laughter.

“Fuck off!” Seb snapped as he shoved away Marco who collapsed on the floor, bursting out in laughter as anger took over dread on Seb’s face.

“Oh, come on!” Marco sighed when he could finally contain his laughter. “You pull jokes on me all the time! Consider this a little revenge.”

“A _little_ revenge?” Seb pouted. “My heart almost stopped beating!”

“Okay, sorry.” Marco smiled, but he couldn’t have been further from the truth. “But I was serious though. I still don’t have an agent and the club was nice enough to take over managing my career, but I can’t use them forever.”

“You die or not, I have to say no.” Seb said and Marco’s grin vanished immediately.

“What? Why?” He stammered. “You know what is the best for me like no-one else knows.”

“Yeah, it’s not that.” Seb sighed and made a pause before continuing. Apparently, he had some big news to announce. “But I already have another offer.”

It was Marco’s time to stand shocked. “What? When? From who?”

“On the night of that banquet. From Klopp.”

Marco’s eyes widened even more, something he would have thought impossible. “What?”

“While you were talking to Auba, he came to me. He asked me if I wanted to work in the world of football. I was as shocked as you are. But he said he was impressed when he came over and I made some clever remarks about the match that was on the TV and you reassured him that I knew a lot about football.” He added with a raised eyebrow. “So he offered me an analyst job. I would have to watch the opponents and help with setting up opponent instructions for the team.”

“That’s fantastic!” Marco cried out. “When are you starting?”

“I haven’t answered him yet.”

“What? Why?”

“I wanted to talk to you first. I mean– wouldn’t it be odd if I worked there? Everyone would think that I got the job only because of you.”

“Then they would be the stupidest men alive.” Marco smiled and cupped Seb’s face in his hands. “Seb, this is a huge opportunity for you. You should take it. And don’t worry about the guys. Sure, they would be skeptic at first, but you have an amazing talent, you could convince everyone very soon.”

“And what about you? You wouldn’t mind me being there?”

“Of course not. Seb, maybe this is what you’ve always dreamt about. Don’t throw away this chance just because you’re not sure of yourself. If anyone, you can do it!”

“Thanks.” Seb smiled. “You helped me a lot. You really did.”

“Sure thing. You did much more for me.”

He kissed Seb and just minutes later he fell asleep in his arms with the reassuring thought that maybe brighter days were ahead of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is just a filler chapter and not much happens, I'm not satisfied with it myself (and don't try to convince me otherwise). The reason I posted it is the first and last scene (so basically all of this chapter). I don't know, I have mixed feelings about this, why don't you be my judge? Post your comments, opinions, thoughts anything you want to.  
> P.S.: I think we are getting closer to the end of this fic. There's not much left that I want to write about these two men who I came to love very much. So I feel I should finish this story before it gets boring (idk, maybe it already is boring).


	12. The Enemy Of My Enemy Is My Bofriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This will suck. I have a kind of a writer's block but the only thing that helps me out of it is writing, so here's another scrappy chapter. Not much happens but we're taking a detour before returning to the main course. I know this update might seem pointless but it has a purpose and I hope you'll see it after the next chapter. But maybe I'm wrong on that one and I'm going down a downward spiral... Okay, whatever, I have no excuses.  
> P.S.: I definitely have an issue about Ann-Kathrin.

Mario and Ann-Kathrin picked them up four days later early in the morning. They could hardly fit their luggage in the trunk (although Seb’s only small bag certainly made things easier). Mario’s father drove them to the airport where they quickly went through the checking-in procedure before the halls got crowded. No matter how much time has passed since his transfer, the brunette still got some disapproving looks in Dortmund. Luckily though, no-one went further than that.

They waited for their plane in the first class lounge and Mario and Marco immediately engaged in a passionate conversation. Seb listened to their dialogue amazed. He almost forgot how much those two understood each other. They kept talking for the entire time without a single awkward moment. He wished he could do that with Marco. Seeing the two good friends meeting after a long time, he and Ann-Kathrin felt a bit left out. From the two of them, it was the model that had a harder time accepting it.

Seb simply put on some music and relaxed, observing amused how much Ann-Kathrin tried to get Mario’s attention. She kept snuggling closer to him, making ridiculous comments to join their conversation. Apparently she was completely ignorant of her being the third wheel. Or maybe she knew exactly that she had no chance competing with Marco right now but she still didn’t plan on giving up so easily. The blonde soon yielded and sat back next to Seb, grabbing his hand and resting his head on his shoulder. Their display of affection was answered with an exaggeratedly loud and sappy kissing session from the neighboring couch, probably initialized by Ann-Kathrin. Seb didn’t look at them, only smiled to himself until Marco put a finger on his lips trying to make him behave, although he had a similarly wide grin on his face. They were going to have a long few days.

 

They stayed in what Seb presumed to be the most expensive hotel in Sydney. Mario didn’t reserve two hotel rooms, but a huge apartment on the top floor. It was equipped with a spacy common room that separated two smaller set of rooms which Seb was grateful for. If Ann-Kathrin wanted to keep up the pace of her showing off, the thick walls would come in handy in the night to muffle unwanted sounds.

Marco chose the room with a view on the city for them. They dropped their bags on the floor and immediately hit the bed, lying down next to each other. They looked at the ceiling for a few seconds and then burst out laughing at the same time. Marco tried to hush them but all he accomplished was an even bigger wave of giggling.

“We shouldn’t be laughing at her.” Marco said when he finally composed himself. “She just needs to remind everyone that Mario is hers.”

“I don’t have to do the same, right?” Seb turned to him with a serious face. Marco propped himself up, standing against his hands right above his boyfriend.

“No.” He said with a huge smile. “I know you love me. The fact that you’re here is proof enough.”

He sunk lower, planting a kiss on Seb’s lips. That moment there was a knock on the door and Mario opened it at once. He blushed when he realized what he interrupted and took a step back to stand on the other side of the door.

“Mario, you can come in.” Marc sighed as he climbed off Seb.

“I’m sorry, I had no idea that you two were–” He stammered in embarrassment as he entered the room again, staring at his feet.

“It’s okay, Mario. You haven’t disrupted anything.” Marco smiled

“Well, we are going to take a walk in the city and then have a dinner. Would you like to join us?”

Marco shot a look at Seb, whose eyes were heavily protesting against the invitation. It took only another glance from Marco to persuade him otherwise though.

“We’ll be glad to go. Can you give us five minutes?” The blonde said with the hugest grin out there.

“Sure thing. Take your time, we’re in no hurry.” Mario said with an equally wide smile and left.

“Do we really need to go?” Seb pouted as Mario shut the door.

“Seb, don’t start this.” Marco said a bit annoyed. “Mario invited us, try to appreciate his kindness.”

“I do, but I am in no mood to play the nice guy for Ann-Kathrin.”

“Yes, like you can do that.” Marco snorted.

“What was _that_ supposed to mean?” Seb raised his voice in faked resentment.

“Come on, Seb! We know you can’t play the nice guy even if you tried.”

“You want to bet?” There was a mischievous twinkle in Seb’s eyes.

“No, you won’t lure me into this.” Marco shook his head laughing. “You’re going to be nice just to prove me wrong.”

“Still, I feel I should get some reward for good behavior.” Seb went on.

Marco leant forward and kissed him carefully, biting down his lips carefully and moaning into his mouth.

“How about this?”

“Well, it certainly is a good way to start.” Seb smiled.

 

If Seb had thought the hotel they were staying at extravagant, he had no words for the restaurant they went to. They stuck out with their more casual outfits (except for Ann-Kathrin who had dressed up suspiciously properly), but Seb gathered that as long as you paid for the bill no-one cared what you wore. He found himself in an even bigger problem when they got the menu. He scanned through the pages trying to find a dish that was close to something he knew but he failed. As he looked at Marco he saw that the blonde was in a similar position but the other pair seemed to be used to this kind of carte.

Seb finally ordered the only food that rang a bell in his mind. Marco let Mario choose and after the waiter served their dinner it turned out that he made the smarter choice. Seb’s fish dish was far from being tasty; it really felt like chewing on gum.

“So Marco, when are you coming back to the national team?” Mario asked over his lobster.

“Oh.” The question took the blonde by surprise. “I haven’t talked to Jogi yet, but I guess I might be back in March. I heard you guys missed me?” He smiled.

“That’s great news!” Ann-Kathrin took over the conversation. “I think they shouldn’t have snubbed you in the first place, it’s such a shame that only because your–”

“No-one snubbed me.” Marco intercepted her just in time. “I declined.”

“Oh, I had no idea.” She tried to make up.

“Anyway I was so glad to see you getting better and coming back.” Mario smiled.

“Hey, I’m not the only one making some progress in his career.” Marco grinned as he pointed his thumb at Seb.

“What?” Mario asked clueless.

“Marco, I don’t think they need to be disturbed with every small detail of my life.” Seb tried to dissuade him politely, but he went on.

“Seb’s got a job at BVB.” Marco said, his eyes and voice full of pride.

“Wow, that’s unbelievable!” Mario cried out. He found it hard to process the news. “Congratulation, Seb! I’m sure you’re going to do great.”

“Why, are you so good at– anything you’re going to do?” Ann-Kathrin asked with a not well-hidden sarcastic edge in her voice.

“Good? He’s the best!” Mario reassured her enthusiastically. “He taught me a lot.” Seb was taken aback by his support. Maybe Mario wasn’t that bad after all.

“That’s hard to imagine.” She snorted.

“Hey guys, if you could stop talking about me, that’d be great.” Seb noted calmly, now clearly in discomfort.

“Sorry.” Mario apologized, but Ann-Kathrin wanted to go on.

“So what will you do, Seb?”

“First of all, I haven’t got the job yet. Second, if everything works out fine, I’m gonna be on the staff. I’ll make reports on opponents and stuff like this.”

“We should be more careful, then. No secret remains unrevealed before you.” Mario tried to ease the tension.

“So you’re going to be a man on your own.” Ann-Kathrin noted with a bid of malice in her voice.

“Yes and that’s good. You know, I’m not that kind of person who lives off someone else’s money, you know.” Seb retorted and maybe this time he went too far.

Marco put his hand on Seb’s thigh and gave it a strong squeeze lacking any signs of approval or love. It was pure anger and disappointment. If Ann-Kathrin realized the offensive edge of Seb’s answer, she didn’t let it be seen; but Seb gathered she was too full of herself to pay attention to the true meaning of his words. It wasn’t the case of Mario. The brunette looked at Seb horrified; his eyes were widened beyond what would be considered natural.

“Okay, now stop it!” Marco snapped. “Let’s enjoy our meal, shall we?”

“Why, Marco? I’m just eager to know more about your boyfriend.” She parried. “It was you who brought up this topic, after all!”

“That’s enough, darling.” Mario said calmly, grabbing Ann-Kathrin’s hand and leaning over to give her a peck. She stared at Seb for the whole time. He found her actions ridiculous and was about to open his mouth to make a comment when Marco gave his leg another squeeze and it deterred him from further conversation.

They finished their meal in silence, but nothing could change the venomous atmosphere. Marco adhered that he’d pay for the bill and Mario gave in after a round of polite objection. Mario and Ann-Kathrin started off to explore the Sydney night life, but Marco declined, blaming the jetlag for his tiredness. It was a transparent lie and once the other pair walked out of earshot, Marco took Seb by his arm and turned him around so they faced each other. The blonde’s eyes flickered with anger and his breathing got heavy in a split second.

“I hope you have some damn good excuse for your behavior!” He shouted and it drew a few passers-by’s attention. “That’s how you repay Mario’s kindness? By insulting his girlfriend and making ambiguous comments at her?”

“Oh, please, those comments were unambiguous. She’s just too dumb to understand them!” Seb snapped not realizing the depth of Marco’s fury.

“And that’s your warrant, right? Honestly Seb, I’m starting to feel that you’re like a small child!”

“I’m a child? Just because I stand by my opinion and tell her what I think of her? You don’t have the upper hand here, Marco. I know exactly that you think the same. That she’s just a bitch and a gold digger.”

“That’s enough!” Marco shouted and slapped Seb’s face. They looked straight into each other’s eyes for long moments the tension almost unbearable between them. Seb jerked his arm out of Marco’s grip. He turned around and started to walk away.

“Seb, wait! I don’t know–” Marco called after him in despair but without any effect. Seb strolled further never looking back.

 

* * *

 

Mario and Ann-Kathrin made their way back to the hotel late in the night. The brunette had tried to talk about the dinner with his girlfriend, but she waved him off at every occasion. She led him into a disco instead hoping that she could avoid unwanted questions. Her plan worked only for the time being. Once back in their hotel apartment, Mario recurred to the disastrous dining. They walked straight to their own room, not checking whether Marco and Seb had made their way back to the hotel.

Mario sat down on their bed while Ann-Kathrin started to wash off her make up in the bathroom. She got rid of it with confident movements and was next to Mario after two minutes.

“Will you tell me why you were so hostile to Seb?” Mario asked quietly.

“Me? Well, he wasn’t a role model of politeness either!” She snapped. “I don’t even know why he had to come with us. Don’t get me wrong, I feel for Marco and I really think he should have some time away from his troubles but this guy– Why is he together with him? And why did he bring him here? Didn’t you tell him that this is going to be an elegant New Year celebration? Can you imagine Seb in a suit on Marco’s side?”

“It shouldn’t be a problem unless you want to use him as an accessory.” Mario mumbled. He was getting annoyed by Ann-Kathrin’s ill manner. “But you still didn’t answer my question.”

“Well, if you ask me, I don’t give them much time. They are totally different personalities. They say that opposites attract, but in this case it won’t work. I don’t even know what they expect. I mean, do they want to walk through every hardship ignoring rotten tomatoes thrown at them and pretend that everyone is happy for them? It’s just pathetic!” She snorted.

“Do you even hear yourself?” Mario shouted. “They’ve been together longer than us!”

“Oh really? So if their romance is so perfect why don’t they cuddle in public? Hold hands? Kiss?”

“You have no idea how hard time they had!” Mario insisted, surprised by the passion with which he defended his best friend’s relationship.

“Or maybe this whole thing never was serious and they just enjoyed sharing the bed without any real commitments.”

“I can’t believe you!” Mario burst out. “And I’m not going to listen to this anymore.”

He sprung up and rushed out of the room, into the huge parlor. His anger blinded him so much that at first he didn’t notice the figure sitting on the couch in the darkness. But when he recognized who it belonged to, worry took over him. He walked over the leather sofa and placed a hand on the other one’s shoulder. He didn’t startle him; his gesture bore no reaction and it scared him out of his wits.

“Marco, what are you doing here?” He asked cautiously.

“Did you have a fight because of me?” Marco asked back in an emotionless voice.

“It’s not your fault.” Mario shook his head and circled the couch to slump down next to the blonde.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’ve told you it’s not your fault.”

“No. I shouldn’t have brought Seb here. I ruined your vacation.”

“Did _you_ guys have a fight?”

“I questioned him about his behavior. He was so rude to Ann-Kathrin.” Marco took a deep breath. “But he didn’t think he was. He kept on arguing with me.”

“That sounds like him.” Mario nodded.

“I hit him, Mario!” Marco cried out and Mario dropped his jaw. He couldn’t remember an occasion where Marco had lost his temper and used his hands. “He deserved it but still– I shouldn’t have done it.”

“Where is he now?” Mario almost whispered.

“I don’t know. He walked away. I tried to catch up to him but I lost his track.”

“Is he going to be fine?”

“Yes, he’ll come back, don’t worry.”

“Can I ask you something?” Mario asked to which Marco answered with a faint nod. “How are you guys doing? I mean, _really_!” He emphasized the last word.

“It’s hard to tell.” Marco shrugged. “When it’s just the two of us, everything works perfectly. But whenever someone shows up–” He circled with his index finger to finish the sentence for him.

“Like Ann-Kathrin did.”

“Gosh, I’m so sorry for his behavior.” Marco apologized hastily.

“It’s okay. The thing is he was right. Like he usually is.” Mario noted sourly.

“What? I don’t understand.” Marco stammered. “Don’t you love her?”

“Yes, I do love her. But I start to question if she loves me or my money?” The brunette laughed but it was full of sorrow. “She kisses me and holds my hand and does everything she is supposed to do. But that’s what it feels like: obligation. There’s no passion in her actions. She just _is_. She wants to be my girlfriend and nothing else. Not a person on her own.”

“Wow, you’ve never talked about this.”

“It’s not like I was your confidential advisor with your love life.” Mario sighed.

“That’s true.” Marco chuckled. “Look at us sitting in the dark, mourning over our fucked up relationships. We’re miserable!” His words weren’t meant offensively.

“Yeah, but that’s what friends are for, right?” Mario smiled.

“I miss you, you know? I miss those old days back in Dortmund when we were inseparable. We’d spend every afternoon together just chilling out, do you remember?”

“I do and I miss it to. But it’s not like I’ve given up on our friendship, Marco. You can still call me if you need me.” It was funny that despite being the younger, it had always been Mario who was Marco’s support, not the other way around.

“Yeah, but it’s not the same. We both have our own lives now and I don’t want to disturb you.”

“You could never disturb me, Marco.” Mario smiled and the blonde uttered a silent thank-you. “But so I don’t just pity us,” he winked at Marco “here’s an advice for you. Talk to Seb and tell him how you feel.”

Marco chuckled and Mario looked at him questioningly. “It’s just that I always get this advice when something goes wrong.”

“And does it help?”

“Usually. But you know what? Why don’t you take it too?” Marco smiled.

“You know that I’ve always been much better at giving advices than taking them.” They laughed together and stood up to return to their respective rooms.

 

* * *

 

It was almost dawn when Seb came back to the hotel. Marco was already asleep and was startled awake by his boyfriend fidgeting with the sheets. It took him a few seconds to realize what his intentions were.

“Where are you going?” Marco mumbled, his voice distorted by sleepiness.

“Oh, I’m sorry if I woke you up. But last time I saw you you weren’t that hospitable to me and I gathered I wasn’t welcome to your bed.” Seb shrugged his shoulders.

“Seb, don’t overdramatize this. Shall we just sit down and have a talk?” Marco sat up in the bed.

“I’m overdramatizing things? Well, excuse me but I had no idea how far your anger had taken you.”

“And weren’t I rightly angry?” Marco snapped; he was starting to lose his patience what he quickly realized and calmed his voice. “Look, we need to discuss this.”

“Okay.” Seb sighed and sat on the bed, facing Marco.

“First of all, I want to apologize for slapping you. I– I don’t know what’d gotten into me. I don’t expect you to forget it, but please, if I deserve it, forgive me. But I’m not sure about us, Seb! The way you behaved tonight or last night or whenever is unacceptable. You see, I try to trust you, I really do, but when you start acting like you did today– I can’t help but wonder if you really earn it. What’s wrong with you? Okay, I get you don’t approve of Ann-Kathrin, I don’t like her either, but you were outright rude! It wasn’t like you at all. Not the Seb I knew.”

“No, it was me. But the part of mine that is too straightforward to you. I didn’t say anything to her but the truth or at least my opinion. I was being honest with her, but apparently it isn’t something favored in the world.”

“Seb, there’s a difference between being honest and offending someone. You can share your opinion in a nicer way too.”

“I’m not finished yet.” Seb snapped and held up his palm, stopping Marco. “If you want me to listen to you, you should do the same. Because this isn’t just about that stupid dinner. I gave up a lot because of you and you made me a better person. But sometimes I feel that you want me to change completely. I’m not going to do that, Marco.”

“That’s not it, Seb!” Marco shook his head. “I don’t want you to change at all. I like you the way you are, but I want those close to me to like you too. And you’re not making my job easier. You must understand that my friends are very important for me, Marcel and Mario especially. And both well, dislike you.” No other word came to his mind that would have described Seb’s stature more accurately. “I want to go hang out with them and with you but I cannot do that because whenever we try, you start to fight. Is it too much to ask for?” He asked in a pleading voice. “I don’t know what’s happened but it feels like we are back where we stood a month ago. You are your old grumpy self, pushing away everyone and I have no idea why you would do that.”

“I never said you can’t meet your friends, Marco. Don’t try to blame me for stopping you from seeing them.”

“I _didn’t_ , Seb!” The blonde yelled. “Don’t you get it? The point is that I want to make you a bigger part of my life. Don’t you want it?” His voice broke in worry. This was the first time it occurred to him that maybe they didn’t wish for the same kind of relationship and that was the main reason behind all their rows.

“I want it.” Seb’s voice had a very tender tone to it. “But I don’t want you to throw up anything. If you want to talk to Marcel, go. I won’t mind. If you want me to go with you, I’ll be glad to go. But don’t expect me to be the nice guy to everyone because that’s what everyone needs to think of us: that we’re the perfect couple. We are not a perfect couple, Marco and we’ll never be. All I know is that we love each other. I’m not like Ann-Kathrin. I won’t be something like a WAG, clinging to your side and smiling for the public. If that’s what you want, you’re searching at the wrong place.”

“So what do _you_ want?” Marco asked, totally devastated by Seb’s words. “What is the ideal relationship to you?”

“I want us to be happy.” Seb said, grabbing the blonde’s hands. “I want to love you the way I have loved you ever since we met. And I want you to do the same. Not troubled by anyone. When it comes to _our_ love, it should be the two of us. I understand that your friends are very important to you. I care about mine too, but that doesn’t mean we have to be best buddies with them. I admit, I have been hostile to Marcel and I might have gone too far with Ann-Kathrin, but I’ll try to change it, I promise.”

“That’s enough for me.” Marco smiled.

“And what about public appearances? Do you want me to be there with you?”

“It’s up to you. I know you don’t feel comfortable around many people, so I won’t force you. But once you’ll be a staff member, you won’t have much choice left.” He smirked.

“We’re not there yet.” Seb laughed. “But we won’t ride triumphantly to every reception. They’d try to make heroes or pioneers of us and I don’t want that.  The pressure would be too much to bear and it would only lead to heartbreak. I saw you nearly give up all you had. I don’t want it to happen again.”

“Why do you keep doing this?” Marco shook his head, still smiling.

“What?”

“You make me question this whole romance and then it turns out you care about me much more than I have thought. I’m so so sorry I hit you.” Marco sighed, the feeling of guilt returning.

“Shh, it’s okay. I deserved it. It made me come to my senses.” Seb smiled and silenced Marco with a kiss.

 

* * *

 

The next morning they had breakfast in their apartment. A room service worker came up and set the table for four and placed a lot of different meals on it. The dining place overlooked the city’s most beautiful neighborhood and it gave the perfect scenario for a friendly breakfast. Yet, Marco sat down with a knot in his stomach, his eyes darting around between Seb and Ann-Kathrin. Maybe his boyfriend noticed his discomfort, because he spoke up.

“Before we start– Ann-Kathrin, I’d like to apologize for my behavior last night. I’m not usually like that. So maybe we can start all over?”

Marco almost forgot to close his mouth after he dropped his jaw at Seb’s speech. Mario looked at him questioningly and he shrugged his shoulders. It was Ann-Kathrin who recovered from the shock first.

“Is this some kind of a joke that I don’t get?” She asked.

“No. I was being rude yesterday and I’m sorry for that.” Marco could have sworn that he heard Seb add in himself ‘ _Although if it was a joke, I’m sure you wouldn’t get it_ ’.

“Oh, okay then.” She managed a smile in her confusion.

“What are you up to?” Marco mumbled as he leaned over to Seb.

“Being the boyfriend of your dreams.” Seb winked at him and started eating.

 

They finished breakfast in half an hour. Seb stood up first from the table and retired to their bedroom to make a very important call as he put it. The three of them remained bewildered and shared clueless glances. Mario and Ann-Kathrin expected an explanation from Marco but the blonde was taken aback as much as they were.

“What was this about?” Mario broke the silence.

“I have no idea.” Marco shook his head.

“Did you tell him to apologize?”

“Well, I took your advice and talked to him, but it didn’t go the way it could suggest such a sudden turn.”

“Wait, you guys talked about me behind my back?” Ann-Kathrin huffed.

“It was nothing, no ill will.” Mario hushed her. He was clearly annoyed by her comment. “And nothing you should know about.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Smartass!” She bridled and left.

“I see you haven’t talked to her.” Marco smiled.

“It’s not important right now. I’ll just dump her before she costs me another credit card.” Mario shook his head. “But we must find out what’s gotten into Seb.”

“I’m on it.” Marco nodded and got up.

He strode over to their room. He couldn’t tell what he was afraid of, but Seb’s behavior had some fishiness about it and it made him nervous. Seb was putting down his phone when he entered the room.

“Who were you talking to?”

“Klopp. I’ll have to pass a test first but after that there shouldn’t be any problems with my signing.”

“What kind of test?”

“I have no idea. He just told me to go to the first training session in the new year with you and I should see then.”

“I’m sure it will be fine.” Marco smiled as he walked to Seb and put a hand around his waist. “But tell me honestly, what were you doing out there?”

“Nothing. Just being nice like you wanted to. Now is _that_ a problem?”

“No, but you didn’t really approve of my idea and suddenly, you are acting accordingly to it. It doesn’t make sense.”

“I never do. It’s really nothing to it, Marco. Just trust me on this one.”

Marco nodded, but to himself he said _I wish I could_. He wasn’t convinced and the upcoming days didn’t dismiss his fears.


	13. Everything I Do Pt. I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after two awful chapters hopefully a better one. Thanks for your great support. Originally I wanted to go further in the story but it would have been a very long update, so I split it in two.   
> This chapter and the whole story goes to Blue_Night who has been a wonderful supporter all the way.

Marco wasn’t disappointed in Seb. It took him exactly twenty-seven seconds to pick another quarrel with Ann-Kathrin. They were leaving for some sightseeing and shopping and the model was lounging on the leather couch in the living room.

“Are you going in those?” She asked with disgust.

Seb casually glanced over himself but found nothing that could have caused such a reaction from her. Maybe his sneakers weren’t the newest (and cleanest) and his jeans were worn-out but they felt comfortable and that was all that had ever mattered to Seb when it came to clothing. He wasn’t the kind of person who’d dress up for taking out the thrash. Ann-Kathrin on the other hand wore brand new clothes that fitted her perfectly, Seb had to admit, but still– there was no reason to wear them for some sitting on a couch in Seb’s opinion.

“You’ve got a problem with them?”

“Not at all. You bring shame to us any way you want it.” She snorted.

“You watch your tongue, Ann-Kathrin!” Mario snapped. He just had entered the room, ready to leave with Marco and Seb.

The latter one sent a questioning look at the blonde, but Marco was apparently too preoccupied with his phone to stand up for his boyfriend. Seb shook his head and sighed.

“Well, maybe if I bring shame to you, you shouldn’t come at all.” He noted and that finally seemed to draw Marco’s attention. He sent a scolding glance in Seb’s direction.

“You know what? I don’t even want to!” Ann-Kathrin pouted.

“Okay, we’ll see you at lunch then.” Mario shrugged and started off towards the door.

“Wait, where do you think you’re going?” She snapped at him.

“To the city?” Mario asked back in a contemptuous manner.

“And you’re leaving me here?”

“If you don’t want to come, I can’t change your mind.” He said sharply and opened the door. Marco and Seb followed him after a moment of hesitation, Seb without looking back and Marco with his eyes kept firmly on his cell-phone, never looking up.

They walked out to the corridor, striding to the elevator. Mario led the way, his breathing heavy from anger, Seb walked just a half step behind him and Marco followed them, still fidgeting with his cell. Mario called the elevator and as they waited, he turned to Seb.

“I’m so sorry about her behavior. You shouldn’t take her seriously; she just can’t accept that she’s not the middle of attention.”

“It’s okay.” Seb smiled. “Thanks. You’re apparently the only one who cares.” He looked at Marco once again and their eyes met, but the blonde just looked straight through him.

It hit Seb with a huge thrust, leaving him breathless for a few moments. There had been times when not everything had worked well between them and this wasn’t the first occasion that Marco was mad at him (for any reason Seb couldn’t see). But this was new to him; Marco had never stopped being ready to risk his own life for Seb if needed. And now, he let Ann-Kathrin, a total stranger treat him anyway she wanted to. What was wrong with him? Why did he blame Seb for everything? Seb hadn’t told him that, but his slap hurt him much more than he showed. Not the strength of it, but the anger and fury Marco had put into it. It was as if it had held all of the midfielder’s resentment. And he had chosen Seb to take it all.

Their morning that was meant to be perfect turned into a nightmare. Marco kept busy with his phone. Mario tried to talk to him but he wasn’t communicative at all. Then the brunette turned to Seb but he already had enough to think about. Not that he didn’t appreciate Mario’s effort. He seemed to realize how hurt Seb actually was, and he tried to make it up to him. They soon gave up sightseeing and went to a shopping center instead.

“So what’s wrong between you guys?” Mario asked.

They were sitting in front of a shoe shop where Marco had been trying on shoes for fifteen minutes already. The brunette took a sip of his smoothie and looked at Seb with great anticipation.

“I don’t have the slightest idea. We spoke last night, he told me what his problem was I promised him I’d change and now he ignores me.” Seb shrugged.

“Don’t try to fool me. I won’t believe that it doesn’t matter to you. I can see it in your eyes.”

“Even if I mind, what can I do? I cannot persuade him.”

“I’d like to object here. You are the only one I know that can change Marco’s mind.” Mario smiled. “But if you let me take a guess, I’d say he has a problem with the way you love him.” Seb raised an eyebrow. “I mean, Marco’s a romantic guy. I know you love him and he knows it too. But he needs to be reminded of that from time to time. It’s ridiculous, but that’s how he works. He’s the kind of guy who’d push you just a few steps away and expect you to fight for him. If you don’t do that, he’ll get unsure about your relationship.”

“Wow, it seems that everyone knows him better than me, his boyfriend.” Seb pouted mockingly.

“I’m trying to help, Seb. And you know I’m right.”

“Surprisingly, you are.” Seb admitted with a nod. “But like usually, you are a few steps behind.” He stopped and then continued seeing Mario’s bewildered expression. “I know what Marco expects me to do, but I won’t do it. Well, not the way he wants it.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“My crusade to get back Marco. Even though I haven’t lost him, but you get the idea.”

“What are you planning to do?” Mario asked warily, his voice hid a bit of fear.

Seb sat closer to him and shared his plan with him, keeping his voice down, not that anyone could understand them. While speaking, Mario listened to him eagerly, his eyes widening after every sentence. By the time Seb finished, his mind was completely blown away.

“If you mess this up, you’ll definitely lose him.” He noted with horror on his face.

“And if it works out, I’ll teach him a lesson he’ll never forget.” Seb smirked.

“I think you are mad, but it could actually work.” Mario nodded.

“I’m glad you said that, because I need your assistance.”

“What?” The brunette burst out.

“First of all, I need you to loan me some money.” Seb sputtered the hardest words he could imagine. He hated borrowing anything from anyone, especially from someone he didn’t get along with. And Mario’s reaction wasn’t really encouraging. “No matter what your dear Ann-Kathrin thinks, I fend for myself and lately I haven’t been well-supplied with money. It’s just a matter of weeks, I’ll repay you. You name the terms.”

“It’s not that.” Mario shook his head. “You just caught me by surprise. I forgot how straightforward you could be.”

“Thanks. Secondly, I need you to play along.” Seb continued.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do that. I suck at lying especially to Marco. He reads me like an open book. If I were to act in front of him, he would find out the truth very easily.”

“Oh, come on, Mario! I’ve seen you play lately. You can go to the ground very convincingly at the smallest contact. I’m sure you can manage this much acting. Really, do you still have trainings or do you just go to take acting lessons since Pep took over?”

“Just a hint, Seb. You shouldn’t insult someone when your relationship might depend on his willingness to help you.” Mario jested.

“You might have a point here.” Seb acknowledged. “The most important thing is that you should be natural. That is, from Marco’s point of view. So if he says anything, just pretend that you don’t know about anything.”

“Then why did you tell me about your plan in the first place?”

“Footballers.” Seb shook his head. “I needed you to know and be in. So _are_ you in?”

“Okay.” Mario sighed after some seconds’ consideration. “But if this whole thing backfires, you can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

 

* * *

 

As the plane started to lose its altitude, Marcel’s head started to ache. He had never loved flying and could hardly bear it. That’s why he avoided it whenever possible. He’d usually choose a slower form of traveling not to put himself through the dull pain and nausea during landing. Robin was sitting next to him and tried to get his mind off his discomfort but it did not help. He took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes. The only soothing thought was that he was doing all this for Marco.

Seb had called him two days earlier, in the middle of the night. He wouldn’t have answered his call politely even if he had called at a more pleasant time. Not that he was asleep; he spent most of his days between the holidays enjoying life with his friends. But whenever he talked to Seb, it was either because something was wrong or something else would get wrong because they talked.

 

_“What?” He snapped as he picked up the phone._

_“Nice to hear you too.” Seb’s sarcastic and calm voice came from the speakers._

_“Aren’t you like in Sydney with Marco?” He asked ignoring the other one’s remark. He was still a bit angry at the blonde that he chose to leave for New Year. But he understood his decision: he clearly had needed some time away._

_“Yes I am. And that’s why I called you. It hasn’t turned out to be the perfect vacation after all. At least, not for Marco.”_

_“What have you done this time?” He became furious at once._

_“Nothing to do with me. Well, at least I think so.” Seb answered hurriedly and even though he wasn’t convinced himself, Marcel could hear in his voice that he wasn’t trying to dodge the responsibility. “But he’s downcast. So I wondered if you could come down here and cheer him up. I’m sure he’d appreciate it.”_

_“I’ll call him and talk about it.”_

_“No, it is supposed to be a surprise, you know? He can’t get through a day without mentioning you. I don’t know, maybe he misses the parties you always have this time of the year or whatever. Come on, it should be fun!”_

_“Seb, what is going on? You wouldn’t act out of pure benevolence and you would definitely not do such a thing if it included me. So what’s the gist? You had a fight, didn’t you?”_

_“Yes, we kind of had. But before you hang up–” Seb continued, reading Marcel’s thoughts. “I really don’t know, why. Marco isn’t his normal self, he completely ignores me. And I didn’t do anything.”_

_“I fear he might have a different opinion.” Marcel noted dryly._

_“Marcel, please!” It was the first time he heard that word from Seb._

_“Why would I try to save your relationship? I still think you’re the biggest mistake he has ever made. Why should I help you? Based on what you said he might be on the verge of dumping you.”_

_“See? One more reason for you to come. You can be present when he finally tells me goodbye. I’m sure you’d like that.” Seb snapped, his voice giving away his annoyance. There was a few seconds’ silence between the two of them and after that Seb sighed and continued in a calmer tone. “Look, if you don’t want to do it for me, do it for Marco. He needs you here.”_

_“I won’t let you manipulate him. He has suffered enough because of you. So if I go there don’t expect me to be supportive of your romance, okay?”_

_“If you come or when you come?”_

_“Okay, I’ll go there.” He gave in. “But just to be clear: I’m doing this for Marco, not for you.”_

_“Thanks, Marcel. Your plane takes off tomorrow evening. You can catch it, right?”_

_“You already reserved tickets?” Marcel’s jaw dropped._

_“Well, I always trust my persuasive skills.” Marcel could see Seb’s self-satisfied smile._

 

_Damn him_ , he thought as a sudden wave of pain waved over his head when the plane’s gears touched the runway’s asphalt. The pilot immediately hit the brakes and the change of speed almost made Marcel throw up. But as they slowed down, he felt his stomach calming down a little and by the time they reached the terminal and went through the customs control he already had forgotten that he had ever felt airsick.

 

But he simply couldn’t have said no. Not just to Seb, since Marco had texted him a few minutes later. They texted each other for an hour and the blonde told him everything that had happened. And what he heard, struck him. It was hard for him to admit, but this time Seb really had been honest and it wasn’t him who had a problem. As Marco recalled the events of the previous day, Marcel started to question whether he was talking to his best friend. The complaining and grumpy man didn’t resemble the kind and empathic guy he knew.

When he told him they had had a fight and how Seb had hurt him, Marcel was ready to swim the ocean and beat the shit out of Seb. But by the time Marco finished he wondered if it was really Seb who would need a proper beating. Seb insulting others was not news for Marcel, but Marco getting angry over it had been something unthinkable.

After all, that was why the blonde loved his boyfriend the most. And Marcel had to admit that Seb’s manner was quite entertaining when his stingers weren’t pointed at you. He didn’t hate him. His only problem was that he couldn’t tell whether Seb was a blessing or the biggest mistake in Marco’s life.

They seemed so balanced ever since they had met each other. They probably didn’t notice it but Marcel saw the obvious: they worked so well because they complemented each other. There was Seb, keeping Marco with two feet on the ground, so he wouldn’t get carried away by his fame. And on the other hand, Marco reminded Seb that he lived in a society where he had responsibilities and there were certain expectations towards him. Of course, he was not tamable and he wouldn’t give up his identity but a warning glance from Marco was enough for him to at least be quiet.

And Seb thanked him in a way that would have touched everyone. Marcel was sure Marco would have gotten through all the hardships of the past months without Seb’s help, but he certainly made things a whole lot easier. Marcel admired him for that. Marco had pushed him away so many times on his journey back to the top, and still, Seb stuck to him like no-one else did. Even when it hurt him.

And this was the first time he thought Seb was right from the two of them. He didn’t know all the details and he would be more than happy to change sides, but deep in his heart he already felt that Marco was making a mistake. A mistake he would regret later if they didn’t take action. Marcel had to swallow his pride and admit to himself that he came to Sydney not only because of Marco; Seb played an equally important part in his decision.

 

* * *

 

Mario had always been looking forward to the last day of the year. Not particularly because of the parties, although he didn’t mind them at all. The new year always brought a promise of something new and something better. He didn’t think that that something would come by itself, he knew from his life he would have to fight hard to acquire it, but still, the possibility was there and New Year’s Eve was a symbol for that.

And he hoped with his whole heart that the new year would bring better times for Marco and Seb. He had watched their relationship become estranged and that despite Seb’s every effort. No matter what he did, Marco pushed him further away from himself up to the point where they seemed nothing more than distant acquaintances. Mario felt sorry for Seb but whenever he tried to intervene, the other one stopped him and reassured him everything was okay that it was part of ‘the plan’.

The plan Mario didn’t know anything about. He had asked Seb not to share the details with him, so he wouldn’t give away them to Marco, but he hadn’t quite imagined it that way. 31st of December came and he had no idea what his role was. At least not until their breakfast.

“So are you guys ready for today’s party? It shall be very elegant, it usually is.” Ann-Kathrin chatted in a passionate voice.

“I don’t think I’m in the mood for partying.” Seb shrugged.

“Well, I’m not surprised. You wouldn’t enjoy the company there anyway. But I hope that you will join us, Marco.”

“Whatever.” The blonde answered.

“Hey, I have an alternative if you are interested, Marco.” Seb took the opportunity. “Why don’t we hit the streets and go where the flow takes us? We might have a great time.” He looked at Mario who got the message.

“It sounds like fun.” The brunette joined the conversation and earned a disapproving look from his girlfriend.

“You are not serious, right? We came here because of this hotel party. You don’t want to tell me that you’re more interested in some drinking free in the streets?” She snapped.

“Well, I always thought these parties were dull. What do you say, Marco?”

“I certainly won’t sit alone in my room.” He shrugged; his eyes saying just leave me alone.

 

“So what is your plan?” Mario sat on a chair closer to Seb when Marco left to take an early shower. He kept his voice down, to avoid unwanted attention from Ann-Kathrin. She was typing on her phone but shot a few glances now and then in their way.

“Nothing. That’s it. We go out, have a good time and start over.”

“I know you, Seb. I’m sure you have something prepared for the evening.”

“The last time you didn’t want to know more.”

“That was then. Come on, you should tell me what I paid for.” He smiled.

“No, you were quite right when you said you shouldn’t know much not to ruin anything. Trust me, it will be okay and I will tell you everything after tonight.” He stood up, ready to follow Marco.

“Seb, are you sure this is a good idea and it will work?”

He made a few seconds’ pause, chewing on Mario’s words. “It is a risk worth taking.”

Mario sighed as Seb made his way to his and Marco’s bedroom and he wondered why he helped him in the first place.

 

* * *

 

Marcel had been expecting something different when Seb said he’d pay for their stay. He had no idea about the other one’s financial situation but he knew two things for sure. First, Seb couldn’t have enough money to cover their accommodation in such a top hotel and second, he would never pay for it from Marco’s money. They got a suite with a bedroom and a living room that served as the hall at the same time.

After the porter showed them around, Marcel texted Seb immediately. He arrived five minutes later with a huge grin on his face. Marcel stepped away from the doorway and let him in. Robin was switching between channels but turned off the TV and looked at the two of them, exchanging measuring glances. They might have been united for a common goal but that didn’t mean that they put their repugnance behind.

“I’m thankful that you came.” Seb started their conversation and he sat down on the couch next to Robin. Marcel chose the armchair opposite them.

“So what is this all about?” Marcel snapped, his voice free of any kindliness.

“When you come to your apartment you can see for yourself. Until then I cannot tell you more than I already did. Marco is behaving out of his personality. I don’t know what’s happened. I guess it must be some unspoken resentment.”

“You guess?” Marcel snorted cynically. “And you guess it has nothing to do with you, right?”

“No. I’m sure it’s my fault.” Seb stayed calm and honest much to the bewilderment of the other two. “I just don’t know what I did and when I did it. I tried to get it out of him, but he wouldn’t talk to me and that’s why I need you.”

“If he didn’t tell you, he won’t tell us.” Robin noted.

“No, but you can get his mind off me for some time and maybe it will be enough for him to loosen up a bit. The rest is on me. And that’s why I’d like you to take him to a club. Don’t mention me, pretend that it was your idea.” He got out four tickets from his pocket and laid them on the table. “Mario will go with you. Everything’s ready, I’ll already be there.”

“This is your majestic plan? You don’t need us for that!” Marcel was still suspicious.

“Oh, trust me, I do need you there. You will think so when you meet Marco. Give me about two hours before you come up, okay? We’re on the highest floor thanks to Mario’s megalomania. You cannot miss it.”

He smiled but Marcel could see the effects of the last days in his eyes. He seemed tired and broken in a way. It gave him a new, more human look; something that Marcel had never seen in him. They stood up almost at the same time and he escorted him out, stopping him in the doorway.

“Seb, I know you better than this. There must be more to it.”

“Might be.” Seb nodded. “Can I count on you?”

“I don’t know, Seb. Just like I’ve said. I have to talk to Marco first and hear his side of it all, as well. I know what you’re capable of, that it would be no problem for you to fool us all just to get the most out of this situation for yourself. I won’t promise you anything until I’m sure it’s in Marco’s best interest.”

“Fair enough. So when you invite him to that club, it means that you’re in, okay?”

“And what if I’m not in?”

“Then I will be without a boyfriend before the year ends.” Seb mumbled and there was a certain sadness in his voice. Marcel stood in the door for one long moment and then straightened his shoulders as he came to a conclusion he knew he would most likely regret.


	14. Everything I Do Pt. II

Mario was about to start getting ready for the evening when there was a knock on the door. Ann-Kathrin was still sulking in their room because he had chosen Marco above her, but honestly, he couldn’t have cared less. He didn’t want to go to a fancy party in the first place, it was all her idea. The first half of the season had drained him of all energy. Even lying in bed the whole night seemed to be a better option than a party with posing and fake smiles.

That’s why he envied Seb. Not for his current situation but for his ability to say no from time to time and just carry on with his own life, in his own way. It certainly didn’t make his life easier but at least it was _his_ life with all hardships and flaws. Above that Seb also had that fighting spirit that made Mario and Marco the players they were. Almost everyone would have given up on Marco after the blonde’s behavior. Everyone except for him. There was Ann-Kathrin for a counterpart: he hadn’t hurt her the way Marco hurt Seb and she did nothing but keep on waiting patiently for Mario to crawl back to her on all fours and ask for forgiveness.

Seb was different. He had come up with a plan, he wanted to fight for Marco and Mario was sure he would appreciate his efforts. That is, if the blonde took Seb’s actions as a sign of fighting for him and not messing with him and his emotions. It was still not clear for Mario what Seb had exactly prepared but based on the money he had loaned him it was going to be something very big and special. No wonder he had done everything he could to persuade Marco to come with them in the evening.

And once again, Seb showed how big effect he had on the midfielder. His sour mood had slowly faded and by the time late afternoon had come, he had looked quite excited about their New Year’s Eve. He had finally put away his phone and started to spend time with the people that were just a few meters away from him. They spent the day talking, planning and laughing about stupid things. Mario couldn’t recall another moment when the three of them had had such a great time.

In his Dortmund years, he had tried to keep away from Seb because he had considered the guy only as trouble. His opinion hadn’t changed radically since then. He still saw Seb as a kind of person who wouldn’t consider his options before stepping into dangerous territories, but Mario was sure that he would never risk drawing anyone else there with him.

And suddenly all of Seb’s efforts seemed useless when Marco got up to answer the door. Mario looked over his shoulder to see who their visitor was. It couldn’t be the room service, maybe, Ann-Kathrin had rung up one of her fancy girlfriends to come over and curse all men in the world together. But as Marco opened the door, his heart missed at least three beats.

“Marcel? Robin? What the hell are you doing here?” Marco sounded as shocked as Mario was.

“You didn’t believe that you could get rid of us on New Year’s Eve, did you?” Marcel smiled from ear to ear as they made their way into the apartment. “Nice place.” He looked around appreciatively.

“Seriously guys, what are you doing here?” Marco repeated his question while he closed the door.

“We thought you’d get bored with all this upper class luxury, so we decided to come to shake things up a bit.” Robin explained.

“So where are we going in the evening?” Marcel asked as he slumped down on the couch next to Mario. He seemed already very comfortable in the apartment.

Of course, Seb chose to return from Marco’s and his unit at the same moment and recoiled when he noticed the uninvited guests. Mario could see the shock and the dread in his eyes. He tried to reassure him mentally that they would not screw up his plan, that he wouldn’t let them do that, but he had no telepathic abilities and he wouldn’t believe it himself in the first place.

“Um, hello?” Seb tried to look cool and calm but he failed miserably.

“Hi, Seb! It’s good to see you here.” Marcel greeted him mockingly, the chirping vibe gone from his voice. He was casual and cold.

“I wish I could tell the same about you.” Seb snorted and earned a disapproving look from Marco immediately.

“Don’t start this!” He hissed every word separately through his teeth. “Marcel and Robin came here to celebrate New Year with me.” Mario noted Marco’s appropriation. “Deal with it.”

His words were followed by dead silence that was broken by Robin. “So what is the big plan for today?”

“Well we were about to hit the streets and see where they take us.” Marco said a bit shyly and embarrassed.

“That sounds extremely lame! Whose idea was it?” Marcel blasted.

“Mine.” Seb answered with a quiet word that killed the other one’s carelessness.

Marcel’s smile faded and he frowned. It looked like he was thinking deeply, trying to solve a puzzle that Mario hadn’t even noticed. Seb was right, he wasn’t good at reading other people at all, and he usually felt one step behind.

“Anyway, do you have a better idea?” Marco tried to bring up the mood.

“Well, we might have one.” Robin smiled mischievously.

“What’s that?” Mario couldn’t help but notice a level of excitement from Marco Seb couldn’t get out of him after a day of trying.

“There’s a great club over here and we happen to have a few tickets there.” Marcel grinned as he got out four tickets from his pocket. “These were the last ones, so we will have to agree someway.” He glanced at Seb and even Mario could read his message: _I hope it will be you who stays here._

“Wow, you guys rock!” Marco shouted. “I don’t know what to say. I’m just so glad you’re here.”

His sentence was ended with a slamming of the door. Mario quickly looked around. Seb wasn’t in the room anymore.

“So are you in?” Marcel asked.

“Hell, yeah!”

“Great.” Marcel nodded. “We’re leaving in an hour.” He patted Marco’s shoulder and they left.

Marco grinned like a child as he started towards his bedroom to get ready. Mario watched him and just before he opened the door, he spoke up to him.

“What are you doing Marco?” His voice lacked all emotion.

“Taking a shower so I won’t be late. You should do the same.”

“ _Me_? Don’t you see what you’ve done?” He snapped, accusing his best friend.

“Well, if you don’t want to come, you don’t have to.” Marco shrugged and his every word poked Mario’s heart.

“I’m not talking about myself, but Seb! Don’t you care about him? Ever since we’ve arrived here you’ve done nothing but hurt him! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

“Don’t shout at me! And don’t pretend that your relationship is all so perfect. You’re not better than me, Mario! If Seb can’t be bothered to behave normally when I ask him to do so, why should I care what he does? Why should I even try? If he had wanted to come with us, he would have stayed here. My patience is not boundless; I can’t take his shit forever. So if you want to come, get ready, if you want to wait for him here and tend his broken heart, than stay! I don’t care!” He yelled and slammed the door in Mario’s face.

The brunette stood astounded in the middle of the room, processing the other one’s words. He had never heard Marco speak so aggressively. He reached for his phone and dialed Seb’s number, but the phone went straight to voice mail. He was anxious and felt that maybe there was nothing there for Seb to save any longer. But he wouldn’t give up. He would go with Marco and serve as his conscience, if he refused to listen to his own.

He rushed into his room and cast a glance at Ann-Kathrin who was sitting in front of the dressing table, putting on makeup. She looked at him with furious eyes through the mirror.

“Have you changed your mind about tonight?” She asked.

“I’m going with Marco if that’s what you are interested in.” Mario replied. “Marcel and Robin turned up and ruined everything. We’re going to a club.”

“Wow, that sounds an appropriate way to welcome the new year.” She mocked.

“Whatever you think. Enjoy your party.” He was about to go to the bathroom to have a shower, but Ann-Kathrin wasn’t done with the conversation.

“Mario, it’s not late for you to change your mind. And I want you to know that if you walk out that door, you’re walking out of my life too.”

“That’s fabulous!” Mario snapped.

“I’m sorry?” She couldn’t believe her ears.

“I said that’s fabulous. Honestly, Ann-Kathrin, you must be pretty dumb if you think that I’m the one who needs you. And I’ve had enough of your posing and fake attachment. So I won’t try to keep you.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” She stammered.

“Yes.” Mario nodded.

“Mario, darling, let’s talk about this, okay? I get it if you want to spend time with Marco, and we’ll come back to this tomorrow.” Her tone suddenly changed.

“Don’t ridicule yourself.” Mario stopped her and entered the bathroom.

 

* * *

 

When they arrived at the club, Mario knew Seb was screwed. It was just the kind of place that Marco liked the most: not too small, so people didn’t stare at you and yet not too big, so you didn’t feel like you were in a crowd. Still, all boxes were packed with people, a good hundred awaiting the new year, drinking and chatting. Their table was not far from the DJ booth. It wasn’t the best place to sit, but they couldn’t complain. He had no idea how Marcel bought tickets and the other one was adamant to tell him.

There were just a few people dancing as it was still early in the night. It wasn’t the best party Mario had been to, but he could already see how the organizers planned to shake things up. Marco didn’t seem to care about anything, he engaged in a spirited conversation with Marcel straight away. Robin was silent, he glimpsed at Mario a few times with a somewhat clueless face but didn’t give voice to his doubts.

“Can I bring you something?” A waitress stopped at their table, presenting them with her best and widest smile.

“Yeah, four of your best cocktail.” Marcel ordered.

“Wait, shouldn’t we wait with that?” Robin interrupted him but the waitress already walked away.

“For what?” Marco smiled at him.

“Well,– ” Robin started but Marcel cut him short.

“Don’t listen to him, he’s just a hypocrite trying to pretend that he doesn’t drink this early. But he won’t ruin this night, right?”

“No, Marcel, you’re taking this too far!” Robin snapped what caught everyone’s attention at the table.

“Taking too far _what_?” Marco asked bewildered and Mario shared his confusion.

“I have no idea.” Marcel answered hastily, sending a threatening look Robin’s way.

“That’s not what he told you to do. You promised you would help him!” Came Robin’s accusation.

“And still, he hasn’t made the effort to be here.” Marcel retorted.

“Who are you talking about?” Marco’s voice was full of anxiety.

“Seb!” They shouted at the same time and it caught both footballers by surprise.

“Seb? What does he have to do with this all?” Marco asked with wide eyes.

“He invited us here.” Marcel explained.

 _What was he thinking?_ Mario thought. Inviting the person who hates him the most and hoping that he would help him? He didn’t get what Seb’s plan was but apparently he hadn’t told him all. And what was that about his outburst in the afternoon then?

“Wait. Seb _asked_ you to be here?” Marco asked again.

“Yes. He called me two days ago and told me you had had a fight. He wanted to make it up to you and he thought we could help him. Apparently he has changed his mind since then. He was supposed to be here.”Marcel admitted, shrugging his shoulders in a carefree manner.

 

And right at that special moment, Seb appeared in the entrance. He swept over the club with his eyes and started off their way. There was no sign of his earlier indignation. He strode up to them with confident steps, barely able to withhold his smile. Mario was left speechless. Was this all part of Seb’s plan? He had thought that Marcel’s and Robin’s visit was an unexpected occurrence that would ruin his efforts. After that, he hadn’t seen the point in calling in Marcel and Robin. But Seb’s vigor suggested that he had everything under control.

Mario looked at Marco and saw that he was completely shocked. He watched his boyfriend getting closer with a dropped jaw, his eyes yelling for questions. Questions that Mario was sure would be answered soon enough.

“Hey!” Seb greeted everyone casually before turning to Marco. “I know that you’d like to spend some time with your precious friends but maybe you could find a few minutes for me as well?” Marco didn’t say a word, just followed Seb out of the club.

“What is this all about?” Mario turned to Marco’s best friends.

“We are as clueless as you are.” Robin shrugged.

“As clueless as everyone is. Except for Seb. He must enjoy this moment.” Marcel snorted.

“Why did he call you here?”

“I have no idea. He gave us the tickets and told us to get Marco here. We hadn’t known he had planned something else.”

“And he asked me to assist him too.” Mario said. “But he didn’t say a word about you guys. I wonder what he’s doing.”

“Isn’t that all obvious?” Marcel snarled. “He just screwed with us all to further his cause. Like he always does.”

“No.” Mario shook his head. “This time it’s still more probable that it will be him who comes off badly.”

 

* * *

 

Seb led Marco to a side alley next to the club. The streets were full of people even though it wasn’t that warm outside. Marco followed his boyfriend obediently, his mind racing like never before. Dozens of thoughts raced in his brain, fighting for his attention, chasing each other. But he couldn’t attend to them, he was simply incapable of focusing on a single thing. Seb left him completely bewildered and confused and Marco was hungry for some explanation.

When they were far enough from the main street, Seb stopped and leaned against the club’s brick wall. Marco stopped in front of him, his eyes exploring his face, trying to find any clues, but Seb didn’t offer any. He breathed evenly, apparently satisfied with himself but Marco could still sense his tenseness. Seb was worried and he had no idea, why. It was obvious Seb wanted to prove him something, but Marco just couldn’t grasp what that was.

“Are you going to tell me what is this all about?” Marco asked when he finally ran out of patience.

“No, it’s _you_ who does the explanation first.” Seb said dryly then continued when he saw Marco’s puzzled face. “Or don’t you think that I deserve to know the reason why you have treated me like shit during the past days? And don’t tell me that it’s because of Ann-Kathrin or your friends, because there’s more to it. And I’ve had enough of your lying, because that’s what you have been doing lately.”

Marco listened to him shocked by his straightforwardness. But essentially, Seb was right. He sighed and spoke up.

“I’m sorry. Not just for the past days but for my recent behavior. I didn’t treat you the way I should have. I had my reasons though, but you’re right I should have shared them with you.” He stopped and looked at Seb. Seb opened his hands and mouthed ‘go on’.

Marco bit his lip, searching for the right words. “I’ve been unsure about us, I’ve already told you that. I had no idea where we were going and when I thought about it, I realized that we’ve been stuck at the same place for the past months. You know, after I came out and the waves subsided I hoped that we would make progress. That we would take the steps we couldn’t have done if we stayed secret.

“So I tried to make you love me more. Care for me more. But you wouldn’t let me. Sure, you made small gestures and I was happy by your side, but it wasn’t what I was looking for. I’m not blaming you, because you can’t change how you are and I can’t change you either. But with all those around us saying that we don’t belong together it was hard not to believe them. I started to question us, Seb. I guess this whole thing has been piling up for some time now and that dinner was the last straw. I’ll be honest: I stopped believing in us. I don’t think we will ever get further than this, Seb! When I slept at Erik’s and I came home you thought that I had slept with him. It hurt a lot. I cursed you and I asked myself why couldn’t you trust me? Despite all my efforts, you would have been willing to believe that I cheated on you on the first occasion.

“So I asked myself, why bother? Why keep fighting for you when apparently you were content with the relationship we had had for the past two years? I realized that you weren’t ready to make the next step. Maybe you don’t even want it.”

“And you thought that if you ignored me I would give up on you and spare you from admitting it to me?” Seb interposed.

“No, that wasn’t my intention–” Marco said hastily. “Well, maybe it was, but it’s complicated. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done it. I don’t even know what I was thinking. And now you come up with this act. What are you trying to accomplish, Seb?”

“To open your eyes.” Seb mumbled quietly. “So you could see how pathetic you were thinking this way. You’re wrong if you think I’m the one holding us back. It’s you. It has always been you. I had hoped that with this ‘ _act_ ’ I can make you realize that but you’re blind to your own faults.”

“What?” Marco snapped, not believing what he had just heard.

“I was ready to give you everything, Marco. I would have sacrificed the little I had whenever you had asked for it. You know that. But you were adamant; you always wanted more from me and gave absolutely nothing to me. I was always there for you. Through easy times and hard times. How else could have I proved to you that you mattered the most to me? You never showed a sign that you were satisfied with me. So excuse me that I thought I was not good enough for you and I was jealous and didn’t like Marcel who was the biggest supporter of us breaking up.

“But by now you should have realized one thing. I was always ready to fight for you, to change a little bit so one day you would say that you were proud of me. _That_ was pointless. I couldn’t reach the heights you expected of me. You didn’t even notice me trying. You waved away every effort. But I wouldn’t have minded that if you hadn’t hurt me so ignorantly. Because you hurt me and I’m not talking about that slap. I could endure any physical pain for you, just like I did. But your words and your silence hurt me much more than any blow could have.

“You keep saying that _you_ wanted us to get forward and _I_ stopped us from doing that. It’s the other way around, Marco. I was always ready to go with you wherever you wanted to take me. I went to Munich, I went to the gala night, I came here and I invited Marcel and Robin because I knew you missed them. And all you did was snubbing me the first time you could. I set up this all to test you. I wondered what you would choose: your friends or your love. I mean, if I am still your love. And you ran not to me, but to Marcel.

“Do you remember what I wanted to do for New Year’s Eve?” He gave Marco pause. “Be with you. Not with Mario, Marcel, Robin or anyone else. Just with you. The two of us. And what was your plan? Gather as many people as possible around you so you wouldn’t have to be with me. You always surround us with your friends, Marco. And I can’t see any reason for that apart from that _you_ are the one who is satisfied with the way we are. Because deep in your heart you are still afraid of losing your public image if you are with me publicly. I can accept that Marco, but please don’t dodge the responsibility on me. I’m not the one to blame. And I don’t want to blame you. But please get it right, Marco. I didn’t start to date a man who wouldn’t admit that he could make mistakes.”

“Seb, that’s– I don’t know what to say.” Marco stammered as realization finally dawned on him.

How could he be so blind and ignorant of the truth? How could he blame Seb for the struggles in their relationship? He had been afraid to admit it, but what Seb said was right. Maybe he needed his boyfriend to say it out loud for him. And he remembered why he loved Seb so much. Just like he said: he was always ready to put himself in the background and help out Marco when he needed it.

He was suddenly utterly angry with himself. The images of the past days appeared at once before his eyes. Especially when he had slapped Seb. He had been mad at him then of course, but still, it hadn’t been for a reason worth it. And maybe Seb was right: he had done it to alienate him. He didn’t do it consciously of course, but now he was sure it was the reason behind his strange behavior that fell on him like a bucket of cold water. It cleared his mind and he saw his fault sharply.

“I don’t want you to say anything.” Seb shrugged. “Not right away. Just consider what I’ve said.” He turned around as if he was about to leave.

“No, I don’t need to do that!” Marco cried out hastily, reaching for the other one. Seb looked back at him, anticipating something more but what was there to be said? Any words that came to his mind would have been meaningless. “I’m sorry.”

That was all he could say. The measure of his realization overwhelmed him and he was on the verge of breaking down. His body started to shake and all strength deserted him. And Seb just kept staring at him and he snorted.

“You won’t get away with a sorry, Marco. Not this time. I meant what I said; I’ve had enough of this.”

“But I _am_ sorry!” The blonde whined. “How can I make you believe me?”

“I don’t question that you’re sorry. But that’s not what I need right now. I need to know what you expect of our relationship. And I want you to be honest. Don’t tell me what you think I want to here, but what you really want.”

“I can’t tell you that.” Marco sighed. “I don’t know what I want.”

“Fair enough.” Seb nodded. “Let me know when that changes.”

“Wait! That’s it? Aren’t you like disappointed?” He blinked confused.

“For what? Sure, I would have liked you to jump into my arms and tell me that you want to live your whole life with me, but I’m not that romantic. Take your time, I can wait.”

“And can you forgive me?” Marco gulped, his heart bumping in his throat.

Seb sighed and smiled. He stepped forward and cupped Marco’s face in his hands, his thumbs rubbing against his cheeks.

“There’s nothing to forgive. I won’t hate you for the man you are. I knew what I’d get when I started to date you. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the whole world. Now let’s go, we’ve got three guys waiting for us impatiently.”

“Did they all know about this?”

“No. Neither of them. Well, they were part of my little plan but I only told them as much as was needed. Mario knew one half of it, Marcel and Robin the other one. They are victims of my ingenious mind.” He laughed.

“And weren’t you afraid that I might have said no?”

“I never thought about it. My heart told me you wouldn’t leave me and that you just needed a bit of nudging. I guess that’s what you call trust.” He winked at him and drew him closer, wrapping his arms around Marco’s waist.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Shh, we are done with the talking, at least for now.” Seb cut him short, locking their lips together.

Marco closed his eyes and gave way to Seb’s tongue. It felt so good to have him back. And there Marco promised himself that he would never lose him again for a single moment.

 

* * *

 

A man worrying for his relationship and a man completely bewildered had left the club and two men surprisingly balanced returned. Obviously, they hadn’t lost themselves in each other’s arms, even Mario could tell that much. It was Seb who was just a step ahead of Marco and his body didn’t reveal anything. The blonde on the other hand walked behind him carefully, deeply lost in his thought.

Robin slipped closer to Marcel to give place to the two newcomers who sat down opposite to Mario. The brunette kept exchanging glances between the two of them, trying to read their faces but he didn’t get any information.

“If you keep shaking your head like this, you will hurt your neck.” Seb noted dryly.

“Come on, tell us how wonderful you are and how magnificently well your plan worked.” Marcel snorted, taking a sip from his drink.

“I’m not wonderful and my plan didn’t work magnificently. It almost didn’t work at all. But thanks for asking.” Seb retorted and got Mario’s glass, chugging its content. Marcel couldn’t leave it that way; he copied Seb, leaving him with an expression of disgust and tears in his eyes.

“But really, what was your plan?” Mario inquired. “You promised you would tell.”

“May I?” Seb asked looking at Marco. The other one nodded and Seb continued. “I wanted Marco to face a decision: he either chose me, hence option A to hit the streets, or Marcel serving as a symbol of his friends, option B and this club. He fell for it.”

“I don’t understand.” Robin shook his head. “How was it good for you that Marco chose us?”

“Because it made me realize a lot of things.” Marco spoke up, fiddling with his glass. “Thank God!”

None of them came to a better understanding, but they left it that way and decided to enjoy their night as much as it was possible, given the circumstances. Seb and Marcel started some kind of a drinking contest but it was obvious from the first moment that it would be the former to win it. He somehow managed to stay sober during the entire night. Robin and Mario were mostly silent and Marco was busy with his thoughts. Mario knew him like he knew no-one else and he could see that a lot went through his mind. Somehow he didn’t look relieved. Their relationship was still not saved.

And it was confirmed over and over again during the night. Marco and Seb rarely spoke and when they did, it was in the context of a broader conversation, mostly about football. And then, midnight came and all the couples in the club snuggled to get ready for the New Year’s kiss. Every couple but them. Seb kept his distance and it was Marco who finally leaned over to plant a chaste kiss on his lips. It was all too awkward and it made Mario question whether Seb’s plan was really that successful.

 

* * *

 

They burst into the hotel’s top apartment in the middle of the night, Mario opening the door, Marco following him still deep in his thoughts and Seb and Robin carrying Marcel. They walked him to the couch and he slumped down there like dead weight, sprawling out with the same momentum. The other four looked down at him shaking their heads.

“I’ll bring some milk, it should help him.” Marco spoke up and turned around to walk to their private bar.

“Don’t worry about me guys, I’m fine.” Marcel blurted, his speech barely understandable.

“Yes, you just had a drink more than you should have.” Robin added.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no!” Marcel rattled. “I drank just as much as Seb did.”

“That’s what I said.” Robin nodded, looking at Seb apologetically at the same time.

“Here, drink this!” Marco returned and crouched down next to his friend with a glass of milk. Marcel reached out for it vigorously, only to spill it all on Marco.

“Shit!” The blonde snapped and sprung up.

“I’m so so sorry.” Marcel said, a smile forming in the corners of his lips.

“It’s okay, I’ll just need to take a shower. Can you guys handle him?” He looked around and got a reassuring glance from Robin. “Take him to his bed, he will be fine.” He called back from his room’s door.

“I won’t go anywhere else from here!” Marcel shouted. “I’m too dizzy to do that.”

“You can sleep on the couch then.” Seb suggested with a shrug. It was apparent that he didn’t feel any pity for him.

“Thanks, buddy!” Marcel grinned, and it was the definite proof that he was totally wasted.

“Okay, I don’t care who sleeps where, I’m exhausted I’m gonna hit the bed myself.” Mario interrupted, already on his way to his bedroom.

“Are you sure he can stay here? I don’t want you to have trouble with him; you already have enough problems on your own.” Robin asked.

“It’s okay, he’s almost asleep already. And he’s not the first drunk I tend to.”

“Well, good night then.” Robin nodded and walked out from the apartment.

“Why do you keep slamming the doors?” Marcel complained.

“It won’t happen again, Marcel. Just try to fall asleep.”

“You’re a good guy, Seb, you know that, right?” Marcel – or rather the alcohol – proclaimed pathetically. “You usually choose the wrong road and that makes everyone hate you, but you really proved to me that you care about Marco. He couldn’t dream of anyone better than you. I’m jealous of you. He always listens to you and you don’t misuse it. I hope he will appreciate you from now on.”

“Thank you.” Seb chuckled. “I don’t think you will remember this tomorrow, but still. Now get some sleep.” But it was needless: Marcel was already snoring on the couch and Seb was left alone with his own thoughts, the silent drumming of water coming from the shower the only sound breaking the heavy silence. He made sure Marcel was indeed asleep and then got up. There was one thing he needed to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it. I wanted to make up to the previous chapters that - let's be honest - sucked. A huge thank you to all of you supporting me, for your kudos, comments and everything.  
> Also, there's a truly magnificent one-shot that starts right where this chapter ends by the wonderful Blue_Night, who did a really great job, I'm sure you'll like that scene a lot. You can find a direct link below.


	15. A Troubled Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you missed Blue_Night's wonderful [one-shot](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2817389) about their passionate night together, check it out before reading this chapter. You don't need to read it to understand this one, but still, you'd miss a lot if you didn't.  
> Thanks for your kudos and all your comments. Feel free to share your thoughts once again. :)

Seb was the first one to wake up. But it was understandable; he was more used to late night parties than anyone else from their company. Although he only cared about one particular member of their group right now. The one who was sleeping calmly next to him, snoring a bit (what he always denied).

Seb propped himself up on one elbow and watched Marco take long, deep breaths in his sleep. He must have dreamed about something really nice, since his face was utterly calm and a smile was forming on his lips that were still a bit bruised after Seb had kissed them with all passion he had in him.

After their night together Seb had no doubts that they had made a huge leap forward. He felt that he finally had made Marco realize the bonds holding him back and he hoped that Marco would be able to loosen them. It was the blonde who had to shake them off completely. He smiled to the thought and reached out with his hand to caress Marco’s face with the back of his fingers.

He smoothed out a lock of hair from Marco’s forehead and the other one answered with a soft moan. Seb’s fingers wondered lower, enjoying every single square millimeter of Marco’s cheek, stroking his one day stubble. He found it so adorable. Marco always made sure that shaving was the first thing he did in the morning, but Seb would have liked him to grow some kind of beard.

Seb left his hand on Marco’s chin, but his eyes checked out the blonde’s neck where he had left not one but three hickeys. ‘ _He is going to kill me for those_ ’, he said to himself. He bent forward and planted a kiss on the footballer’s lips. Marco grunted in disagreement and turned to his side, leaving Seb with less space for attack.

“Come on, Snow White! You are supposed to wake up to your prince’s kiss.” He complained jokingly, grabbing Marco’s upper arm and turning him back so they could face each other.

Marco slowly opened his eyes and a huge grin appeared on his face as he saw Seb. He reached out for his face, caressed it tenderly and clinched his hands behind Seb’s neck. He tried to pull him closer, but Seb resisted with a playful smile.

“Can’t we continue where we stopped?” Marco said with real disappointment and discontent in his voice.

“No.” Seb laughed. “It’s almost noon, we must get up. Plus, if I gave you all my loving all the time, you wouldn’t appreciate those special occasions like last night.”

“Pretty please?” Marco asked in a high-pitched voice.

Seb chuckled again and kissed Marco on his forehead before hauling himself off the bed. Marco reached out for him but couldn’t grasp his arm. He always hated that Seb got out of the bed early. Of course, he wasn’t the type who could just lie down and do nothing. Marco watched as his love made his way to the bathroom, with nothing on. They had wanted to get on at least their underwear but after their love making they had been left knackered and fell asleep in each other’s arms without even thinking of dressing again.

Seb was careful to lock the door behind him so Marco couldn’t try his luck. No matter how perfect their night had been, the blonde had to feel that he hadn’t forgiven him completely. Which wasn’t true but still, he would have been a fool not to exploit the situation. He washed off the sweat caused by the heat between their bodies pressed together for the entire night. He was finished in five minutes; he wouldn’t usually stand under the hot water for long moments, doing nothing.

As he returned to the bedroom, with a towel wrapped around his hips he saw that his precaution had been needless: Marco hadn’t moved, he was still sprawled out on the bed. Seb shook his head in disbelief.

“Not feeling like getting up?” He snorted and Marco answered with a growl that could easily mean both yes and no. “Should I bring you some breakfast to bed?”

“Would you do that?” Marco’s eyes snapped wide open and he sat up.

“I’m not _that_ perfect.” Then he added with a mischievous smile. “You know we have hosts that we should be thankful to.”

“Are you mocking me?”

“And with every right.” Seb nodded. “Now get up, take a shower and let’s leave for breakfast.”

Marco obeyed with a huge sigh and a reproachful sidelong glance and crawled out from under the sheets. He stumbled to the bathroom, trying to rub out the sleep from his eyes. He didn’t succeed, Seb noted. He waited for the midfielder to finish (and it took him much more time than Seb had needed). By that time he got dressed and checked the happy New Year wishes he got, answering to them.

Marco finally returned and started to choose his outfit for that day. At first he opted for a turtleneck that looked ridiculous on him as he had pointed it out. Seb was too afraid to ask why he had it with him in the first place, then. After long minutes of waiting, he decided on a simple gray T-shirt and he wrapped a scarf around his neck carefully, scowling at his boyfriend.

“Oh, no.” Seb smiled as he stopped in front of him, blocking his way. He reached out for the scarf and removed it from Marco. “You won’t hide those.” He smiled at his boyfriend, pointing at the hickeys. “Or are you ashamed of them?”

Marco was clearly struggling with his thoughts and all that he wanted to say. “You’re evil.” He said ultimately, getting around Seb and opening the door.

The living room was perfused with light. The sunshine found its way through the glass walls, much to the displeasure of Marcel who still lay on the couch, trying to hide his face behind a pillow. Marco laughed hard when he saw his friend and Marcel stretched out his arm, showing Marco his middle finger in an unmistakable international sign. They walked to the couch and got out the pillow from Marcel’s hands. He certainly didn’t look better than a few hours earlier.

“How are you doing?” Marco inquired.

“It depends. What happened last night?” His voice revealed exhaustion.

“You drank with me.” Seb explained and Marcel shot a hostile look at him.

“Then fuck you!” He snapped, burying his face in the couch’s cushion.

“You’ll get better, don’t worry.” Marco laughed. “You really don’t remember anything?”

“Not up to the point we got back. And that’s the problem. Seriously, couldn’t you have been just a bit quieter? I get it, you were happy to be together again, but still. I was trying to sleep here.”

“Sorry.” Marco’s smile vanished in an instant. He shot down his eyes and his face turned red. Seb had to control himself not to burst out laughing at his reaction. He was a grown-up man; everyone knew he had sex from time to time, then why be embarrassed by it?

“Sorry for what?” Mario entered the room. He seemed reposeful and he had one of those wide grins on that Seb hated. It just struck false.

“Nothing.” Marco answered hurriedly, hoping that he could somehow keep secret their night at least in front of Mario. But his hopes were shattered really fast.

“You’ve got something on your neck.” Mario pointed out. “Oh.” He added when he took a closer look and realized what that something was. He exchanged a knowing glance with Seb and his grin grew even wider.

“Can someone ring up Robin? We could have a late breakfast or early lunch together. I already ordered food.” Mario proposed, noticing his friend’s discomfort. He walked to the table and started to set it.

“You’re going to pay for this.” Marco mumbled into Seb’s ear as he searched for Robin’s number in his phone.

“I hope so.” Seb mumbled back rather smug before joining Mario to offer a helping hand.

“So I see you made great progress.” The brunette chaffed.

“We can say that.” Seb replied and to his surprise he blushed too. Maybe Marco had changed him after all.

“I’m happy for you. You grew a lot in my eyes, Seb, I mean it. I was afraid that you might give up on him.” He nodded in Marco’s way. “But I was wrong. You showed class out there.”

“Thanks. And I promise I’ll repay you as soon as I have the money.”

“Don’t worry about it. I have more than enough.”

“He’ll be up in a minute.” Marco announced as he hung up his phone. “Marcel, if you want to take a shower, you can use ours.”

“No, thanks. I’m content with myself. I just need some real strong coffee, it will get me going.”

They sat down around the dining table and waited for the room service to bring their meals. They could have gone down to the restaurant but Mario preferred eating in privacy and none of them were presentable. Five minutes later there was a knock on the door. Robin entered along with a handsome waiter bringing their lunch. Robin got over with the mandatory round of greeting everyone while the meal was being neatly organized on their table.

“Isn’t Ann-Kathrin eating with us?” Robin looked around. He had always been the most considerate person of them.

“No, and I don’t think we will see more of her.” Mario sighed.

“Why? What happened?” Marco inquired shocked.

“I broke up with her. Finally.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. I loved her but it was no use in our romance.” Mario waved away Marco’s sympathy. “Let’s eat!”

“Do you want us to go out drinking later and make you forget your lost love?” Seb jested.

“Seb!” Marcel snapped. “I almost came to like you last night but I swear to God that if you mention drinking once more, I’ll hate you more than before.”

His complaint was welcomed with a round of laughter. Seb looked around and remarked with satisfaction that for the first time, he felt like he was surrounded by friends. And as he looked at Marco, he could see that the blonde was feeling the same way.

 

* * *

 

They left Sydney that evening, a day of traveling before them. They landed first in Munich where Mario stayed with them while they were waiting for their plane to Dortmund. As they made their way to the lounge, they were followed by curious looks from everywhere. Marco was used to it and Mario seemed to flourish under the attention just like he always did. But something had changed about the reaction to Seb.

First of all, people recognized him. They didn’t look at him as he was just someone who was with two footballers. Like they looked at Marcel and Robin who stayed just a step behind. Everyone knew he was Marco’s boyfriend and the blonde was sure he hated it. He had always wanted to be himself and not someone’s someone. The experience was strange. In Dortmund they could already go out anywhere and get no reaction, but in Munich it was the first time they showed up together, so there was no wonder that people stared at them.

Marco reached out for Seb’s hand and squeezed it. He usually didn’t start any display of their affection for each other, but he was determined to prove to Seb that he truly wanted to change. The black-haired’s plan had worked perfectly; Marco’s eyes had been opened completely and he was sure what he wanted from their relationship. He was just waiting for the best occasion to tell it to Seb.

Just before the boarding call, Mario pulled him aside from the others and invited him for a coffee. They went to a cafeteria and sat down in the farthest table, away from all the prying eyes.

“Thank you for coming with me, Marco.” Mario said simply over his espresso.

“Thank _you_ for inviting us.” Marco smiled. “Even if it didn’t turn out the way I had planned, I’m glad you had remembered me. And I’m sorry about you and Ann-Kathrin.”

“It’s okay. I don’t really mind. I’ll miss her and I’m sure she will try to get back to me but I have to say no to her. In a way, I guess I invited you because I wanted to dump her. And Seb being around certainly made things easier.”

“Yes, he has that effect.” Marco chuckled. “But there’s something else on your mind, right?” He asked, noticing Mario’s sad eyes.

“There is, but it’s stupid.” The brunette shook his head. “And I’m not sure I should bring it up. I mean, it could be painful to you.”

“Go on, I don’t want you to suffer in any way because of me.” Marco nudged him, his voice now lacking the ease it had had just a moment earlier.

“Okay.” Mario sighed and bit on his lip, gathering his courage and taking a deep breath before he continued. “It has something to do with the game against Dortmund.” Marco realized how he spoke from Bayern’s point of view. “I feel ashamed about it.”

“Mario, it’s not your fault. It was your fans who pelted at me, not you or the team. In fact, you did everything you could to stop them.” He spoke about the incident with confidence, another thing he could thank to Seb.

“It’s not just the fans. You know, there are others at the club who disapprove of you.” Mario shook his head. Speaking was hard for him.

“Mario, I don’t want to talk about it.” Marco stopped him. “I don’t care what people think about me. Well, not the people who don’t matter.”

“Okay, I won’t tell you about it.” Mario nodded. He looked up, it was the first time in their conversation that he looked into Marco’s eyes. “But I need your advice. I don’t want to have anything in common with people who scorn you just because of who you are. I simply can’t do that.”

“Mario.” Marco’s expression softened. “I appreciate your loyalty, but I can’t expect you to do that. You don’t have anything in common with those people. I know that you don’t despise me, and that means the world to me. But don’t throw away your career because of me. I wouldn’t stand that. The offer you got from Bayern was the chance of your lifetime. So live your dreams and don’t care about anyone else.”

“But doesn’t it trouble you? I mean those contemptuous looks. I just can’t understand. You seem so ignorant of them. As if they didn’t matter.”

“Because they don’t matter, Mario. I’ve been where you are now, and I get your opinion on me. But I can’t change the world. So I won’t try to.”

“But with all this publicity, you could push this cause further. Don’t you feel bound to do something about it?” Mario objected.

“You’re right. Maybe I could change things. Or start off movements that would. But that would ruin me, Seb and our relationship. And all of this matters much more to me than any other cause. I’m sorry if I disappointed you, but I’m just tired of all the fighting. I want to live my life and as long as I’m allowed to do it, I’ll be happy.”

“Okay.” Mario nodded. “But maybe if you don’t fight at all, you won’t be allowed to be happy.” He added and there was something sinister in his voice. Marco opened his mouth to reply, but the boarding announcement cut him short.

“I’ve got to go.” Marco shot a bewildered look at the other one. He had certainly not expected such a statement from his friend. Mario responded with a faint nod. “Thank you once again for having us with you. I enjoyed spending time with you. I’ll try to talk to you more often. I neglected our friendship lately.”

“It’s completely understandable.” Mario waved away his apologies. “And thanks for your reassurance. I really feel bad for their opinion.”

“Don’t do that. It’s not your fault at all.” Marco stood up. “You’re too naïve sometimes. You think that the world is a nice place full of good and the right always wins. But it’s not so, and you are starting to realize that.”

Mario nodded and they shared a tight embrace. It were moments like this when Marco understood how much he missed his best friend, or at least his best footballer friend, although he made no preferences at the level where Marcel, Robin and Mario stood. It was no use. As he walked back to his boyfriend he sighed. It seemed that as he had returned to Germany, his troubles had come back too.

 

His feelings turned out to be well-founded once they got back home. They landed in Dortmund completely worn out. A taxi took home first Robin, then Marcel and at last Marco and Seb. They barely managed to get inside the house. Seb immediately dropped his suitcase, stumbled to the living room and slumped down on the couch with his face down. Marco burst out laughing at the scene and he followed his boyfriend.

He sat down on the edge of the cushion and started massaging Seb’s shoulders. He felt the strong muscles under his fingertips. They were stiff from fatigue and the long journey home. Seb appreciated his touch with a soft moan. Marco was slightly fitter; he had had some sleep on the airplane.

He swung his leg onto Seb’s other side, now straddling the other one. His fingers rubbed Seb’s shoulder blades with more force. He bent forward, smoothed out the locks of black hair from his way and pressed a gentle kiss on the back of the younger one’s neck.

“Why don’t you lie down like this on our bed?” He mumbled against Seb’s skin.

“I can’t believe you’re able to think about sex after such a long flight.” Seb yawned, ruining the romantic atmosphere, Marco’s mood and his plans at the same time.

“Come on! We’ve had our best time in Sydney. We can’t leave it that way!”

“I see I’ve awakened the sleeping giant.” Seb sighed. He turned his head and looked at Marco from the corner of his eye. “Give me a few hours, alright? I’ll be all yours after that.”

Marco stopped his massage immediately and sat in his armchair, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting silently.

“This won’t work.” Seb laughed. “Seriously, Marco, my eyes feel like they are made of lead.”

“That’s not an excuse.” Marco retorted, keeping his feigned resentment.

“Okay. I have a migraine, then?” Seb tried and made Marco laugh. He looked at the other one still lying on the couch and awarded him his best lopsided smile that was barely noticeable and showed a dimple on just one side of his cheek. He knew Seb adored it.

Marco grabbed his second phone from the table and leaned back as he unlocked it. He took vacation seriously, that’s why he had two phones. He had taken his number one – its number known by only a few people, including his parents and sisters, Seb, Mario, Marcel, Robin, Mats and Klopp – with him to Sydney, leaving the other one behind. Now it displayed that he had hundreds of notifications. He opened them with a sigh; most of them were meaningless wishes for the new year, but one particular made him miss a heartbeat. It was from Erik, he had texted Marco just the previous day.

_I know you’re on vacation, but can you call me when you’re back? I need to talk to you._

There was another one the young defender had sent him just a minute later.

_I mean, if it’s not a problem. I didn’t want to sound rude._

And a third.

_Oh, and happy new year. ;)_

Marco gulped as he reread the messages. It was true, he had forgotten about Erik’s troubled heart and now the reality hit him with all of its cruel force. He stared at his phone, trying to form a thought that didn’t seem to be a complete madness. Erik had promised him that he would talk to his parents about his sexuality and that he would sort things out. Honestly, Marco couldn’t care less about his results. Not that he didn’t feel for the younger one, but he had enough problems on his own, he didn’t need to take up Erik’s.

“Something wrong?” Seb asked in a worried voice. Marco’s distress must have been seen on his face.

“Erik texted.” Marco said dryly. When it became apparent that he wasn’t going to share any further explanation, Seb spoke up again.

“And?”

“He probably wants to meet me.” Marco still hadn’t recovered from the realization of this unfinished business.

“Well, you promised him you would talk to him.” Seb shrugged.

“I know. But what am I supposed to say? I’m not a role model myself. All I knew is what I did when I found out I was gay. And I know I’ve made a mistake by hiding. But at the same time I wouldn’t change it if I started again.”

“Maybe that’s all he needs. You can’t weasel out now.”

“No, I don’t want to. But can’t you come with me? I mean, you are good at talking to people and helping them get their shit together. Besides, you started this all, you should end it.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Seb snapped. He got up and walked to Marco. “I’m good at making people get their shit together you say? Then do it, Marco!” His voice was suddenly very authoritative. He was going to be a wonderful coach, Marco noted to himself. “There’s a confused guy out there who needs your support! You are the one who can help him the most. So text him right now!”

Seb stared into Marco’s eyes for seconds that felt like hours. His look finally softened and he leant closer to the blonde. “You’re going to do great!” He whispered into the footballer’s ears and pressed a kiss on his forehead before he rushed out of the room.

Marco shook his head, simply too many thoughts fighting in his mind. But one was getting more prevailing than the others. And that said that Seb was right. It didn’t strike him surprising at all, it was the general case. So he could do nothing else than start typing.

 

* * *

 

Erik’s heart missed a beat when the doorbell rang. He didn’t need to check who was standing in his doorway. It was the same sensation once again that he had felt for the past one and a half year whenever Marco was close to him. There was a lump in his throat as he opened the door and saw the blonde midfielder standing right in front of him in all his astonishing glory. Erik had to gulp as his eyes ran down Marco’s body. He hadn’t gained a gram during the holidays which was surprising. Marco really wasn’t the one who would refuse a chocolate.

“Hi.” The midfielder greeted him. It was rather a sigh that his little smile sweetened. Not that Erik needed anything in addition to Marco’s words to fall in love with each of them.

“Hey. Come on in.” He tried to control himself and so far it worked. But he feared the moment he would break down; and he was going to, he knew that much.

He led Marco to the living room and offered him some beverage. He thought about the last time they had sat on his couch next to each other. Back then, he had been confused like never before. Now he was sure of himself but still had no idea what would become of Marco’s and his friendship. He still loved the other one and it wasn’t going to be easy to change that, but he would try if he had to.

“So what do you want to talk about?” Marco asked coming to the point immediately. There was no place and time for chatting.

“About me. If you’re willing to listen.” Erik stammered. Marco’s snapping voice had frightened him. He didn’t know what he had done that had made Marco change his attitude. Before the holidays he had seemed supportive of him and had reassured him many times that he would help him.

“Sorry, go on.” Marco shook his head.

“Okay, so I talked to my folks, just like you said. The good news is that they don’t hate me. My mother took it better. I’m not sure about my father. He didn’t freak out and I’m thankful to him, but he didn’t hug me tight either. I guess he did what I had expected.”

“Okay.” Marco nodded. He didn’t look as if he was interested in what Erik had to say.

“Marco, if you don’t want to talk to me, you don’t have to.” Erik pointed out, but his voice was so desperate that it was impossible to say no to him.

“I’m sorry.” Marco rubbed his temple. “I didn’t mean to be rude. I’m just tired. You need someone to talk to and I’m the one that can understand you the most.”

“Thanks.” Erik smiled. He bit on his lip before he continued. There was no way to put gently what was troubling him. “The not so good news is that I’m still in love with you.”

Marco looked at him with a shocked face. He dropped his jaw and his eyes were ready to jump out of their place. He clearly had no idea how to handle the situation. But neither did Erik, that’s why he needed some advice.

“What? Erik I told you that–”

“You don’t return my feelings, I know.” Erik finished the sentence for him. “But I can’t help it, Marco! I must sound like a stupid teenager but that’s how I am right now. I fucked up everything!” He was on the verge of crying.

Marco put an arm around him and patted his shoulder as his protective and empathic self took over. “Calm down, we will find out something.”

“But what? I can’t change my feelings. I tried; believe me.” Erik sobbed. “But my body tingles whenever I see you. And I can’t go on like this. It would be the best if I transferred to another team.”

“Don’t even think about it!” Marco’s voice was suddenly commanding. “You won’t go anywhere. We need you!”

“Thanks.” Erik chuckled but it sounded more like sobbing. “I know you’re trying to help, but when you say something like this, a thousand butterflies start to fly around in my stomach.”

“Is it that bad?” Marco sighed. Erik nodded. “And are you sure you are gay? I mean, can you imagine yourself with another guy? You’re not feeling this way only about me, right?”

“Well, I’m not in love with anyone else. But I think I could be.”

“Great. Then that’s what we need to do. Find that someone.”

“Oh, no!” Erik gasped. “I haven’t told you about what I want to do.” He took a pause. “I don’t want to tell anyone. I want to stay in the closet. I won’t risk my career.”

“But Erik, it will ruin you!”

“It didn’t ruin you. I will deal with it too.”

“No, you don’t have any idea what it feels like. _I_ do. And I won’t let you go through the same. The secrecy will haunt you and slowly consume you.”

Erik looked in his eyes and saw how serious Marco was. He hadn’t thought about what would await him if he chose that way and only Marco could tell him what it was. But this time the midfielder didn’t have to say anything. Erik could see everything he needed to know in his eyes that mirrored the shadows of his past. And that was enough for him to decide that it wasn’t the right road for him.

“Look, I’m not telling you to go public.” Marco chose a bit more conservative tone. “But you shouldn’t stay in complete secrecy. Tell your friends, and if I were you, I would tell Kloppo. He had been a great support and he could give you that kind of a fatherly approval you’re looking for. And Mats could help you too. He wouldn’t tell anyone your ‘secret’ but will make sure that you stay focused. You don’t have to fight this battle alone.”

“And you’ll always be there for me?” Erik inquired, smiling shakily at him, although Marco’s eyes didn’t agree with him.

“Of course.” Marco smiled too. He glanced at his watch impatiently. He had so many better things to do.

“Thank you.” Erik nodded. “And Marco, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, go on.” Marco slowly got up.

“If you hadn’t had Seb, would you date me?” Marco stopped in his movement and looked at Erik shocked. “Purely hypothetically.”

“Erik, you don’t want to hear my answer to this question. Either way, it would hurt you.”

“No, please, it would help me.” He begged and Marco slumped back down.

“You’re a great guy, Erik. Handsome, sweet, focused, committed. I don’t know you well enough to make a judgment. But based on what I know, I would say yes.” Erik’s eyes shined up. “But I have Seb by my side. And I haven’t been surer about us.” Marco added hastily.

“Of course, I know. I wasn’t trying to approach you or make a move or whatever.” Erik apologized. It really had been a stupid idea to ask this question. But Marco’s answer had helped. For the first time he felt like someone whom others could love back.


	16. The Big Test

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thanks goes to Blue Night for betaing my works. And another huge thanks to all of you who read my fics and comment.  
> 

Seb couldn’t remember another occasion when he had had such a big lump in his throat. Maybe when Marco had first taken him to his parents’. He tossed in their bed and he finally gave up trying to fall asleep after half an hour. He climbed out from underneath the blankets and left the room careful not to wake up Marco. He closed the door behind himself and started off towards a secluded room where they had put his things after he had moved in to Marco. It was supposed to be a temporary solution before they would find a new place for themselves, but Seb was getting surer that the blonde wouldn’t give up his home.

He arrived at his destination. It wasn’t really bigger than a closet and Marco had never used it. But Seb liked it. He kept his statistics and analysis on various football players there – the Dortmund players’ stowed away from Marco, including his. It included some notes that were true, but he would never tell his boyfriend.

He switched on the light and sat down in his old armchair. It brought back the memories from his previous house and life. How much had changed since then! He had had so many dreams, he had wanted to accomplish so much, but after years of trying, there he had been, not even close to the person he had wanted to be. Not just in his career, but also in his character. And then he had met Marco.

He couldn’t express what a big effect the footballer had had on his life. First, he had given up his musical aspirations – not only, but mostly – for him. Marco had never got on well with most of his band mates and he had seen that their efforts had had no effect, so he had decided that he would focus on his blog instead and occasionally he wrote for various magazines. And no matter how hard he tried to live on his own, he couldn’t have managed it without Marco’s financial security, although Seb had always been careful not to show it. He felt ashamed of himself for depending on his boyfriend’s money and he didn’t want Marco to notice it.

But the biggest effect Marco had had on his personality. He had become a better man and the blonde still pushed him in the right direction. And now he was facing the biggest opportunity of his life. A chance that couldn’t have come without Marco’s help and a chance he couldn’t have been more afraid of.

It was foolish. He only had to do what he was good at and he enjoyed the most. But still, whenever he thought about the test he was facing, his heart started to beat faster and harder, his head felt dizzy and he was ready to throw up at any moment. But he always made sure that his doubts remained concealed enough in front of Marco. He needed his boyfriend’s support and reassurance but his stubbornness wouldn’t let him admit it. He had never liked to be patted on the shoulder and reminded that everything was going to be fine. How could anyone else see into the future? How could they tell him how things were going to turn out?

He sighed and got out the box with the Dortmund players’ very special records. He listed through them and then started to read them thoroughly. He already knew them by heart already but he hoped that he would find some little detail that he could use to awe Klopp. He got ignorant of time just like he always did when he engaged in football analysis.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” Marco said behind him, keeping his voice down, apparently intending not to scare him. He couldn’t have had; Seb always felt his presence with a strange sense.

“I couldn’t.” Seb answered dryly. He didn’t want to tell anything more. If he had mentioned that he was afraid of the upcoming day, that would have been acknowledging his weakness and he was in no mood to do that.

“Well, I can rock you to sleep.” Seb could see Marco’s smile even if he was still standing behind him. The footballer walked to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He crouched down next to him and took a glance at the paper he was holding in his hand. “Are these our files?”

Seb nodded and quickly folded the paper and put it down to the others. He didn’t like the idea of Marco seeing them. Somehow it felt – insulting.

“Don’t worry, Seb. You are going to be great and Kloppo will like you from second one.” The blonde smiled at him and pressed his lips on his cheek. “You don’t have to do extra preparations for that.”

“It’s not that.” Seb mumbled. “I just don’t want to put you to shame.”

“Seb.” Marco sighed and cupped his head in his hands. He looked deep in his boyfriend’s eyes. “You could never put me to shame. You will be great!” He repeated and he patted Seb’s shoulders. Seb just couldn’t express how much he enjoyed that touch.

 

In the morning, Marco drove them to the club’s training ground. Seb hadn’t managed to swallow a single bit of food, what had made his boyfriend concerned about him, despite Seb reassuring him that he would handle his stress when under real pressure. He had seen that the blonde hadn’t believed him, but fortunately Marco had left it that way. As they parked in his usual space, Seb’s stress subsided indeed. Marco leaned over the gear stick and they exchanged a hasty kiss. The footballer was still uncomfortable with showing their affection for each other in public. Seb couldn’t blame him; it wasn’t easy to overwrite two years’ pattern of behavior.

They got out of the car. Luckily, there was no-one around and they made their way into the main building. It was the first time that Seb had gotten that far. Actually, he had been in the training ground only once, on that special day when all their hardships had started. The entrance room was very light, a grey carpet on the floor and yellow walls signifying that they were in the black-and-yellow’s realm.

“Um, so that’s where our roads separate, then.” Marco mumbled.

“Yes, I’m supposed to show up in Klopp’s office?” Seb’s eyes were asking for some direction.

“Of course. Just at the end of this corridor.” Marco showed him the way and started to walk down a different hallway.

Seb was left behind but didn’t hesitate to move. He didn’t like standing in such a big open space, because then he was bound to meet someone and he was an outsider, after all. He had no idea how Marco’s teammates would react to his presence. The night before he had decided that he would take this whole as it was: a test. He would try out himself and see if he was good enough for a top football club. If he wasn’t, he would gladly accept this fact. In the other case though, he would be clueless. He wanted this job but he couldn’t imagine working indirectly with Marco or any member of the squad. It seemed such a huge leap for him.

But Klopp’s office wasn’t that far anymore. He stood in front of the door, not sure what he should do. He needed to man up; that alone was clear to him. He took a deep breath and knocked three times. A kind and calm but still authoritative voice answered him and he stepped inside, taking on a mask of confidence and placidity.

The coach sat behind a wooden desk, attending to some papers. He shot a casual look at Seb and stood up. His office wasn’t big at all, and the walls being so close to him didn’t help Seb loosen up.

“Ah, Sebastian!” Klopp greeted him, already next to him after three strides. “Do you mind if I call you that?”

“Not at all.” Seb answered absentmindedly. He hated if someone called him by his full name but he still had trouble accepting the situation he was in. It was really happening.

“Good. Take a seat then. Aki should be here any moment.” Klopp pointed at a chair next to his desk and Seb sat down. “Would you like a tea or coffee in the meantime?”

“No, thanks. I’d rather get down to business.”

“Well, I’m afraid we have to wait for the boss with that.” Klopp smiled at him reassuringly and sat down opposite to him.

They didn’t have to wait for long. Watzke arrived just a minute later. With Klopp’s training kit and his elegant suit, Seb definitely felt like an outsider in his jeans and warm hoodie. Marco had offered him some of his clothes, but Seb had refused to make a deal out of his dressing. He had wanted to show himself from the very start.

He sprung up at the chairman’s arrival and they shook hands. After the formal introduction (although they had exchanged a few words at the club’s banquet), they sat down and it was Watzke, who broke the silence.

“So Jürgen here tells me that you are a talented football analyst?”

“Well, I don’t know about the talented part, but I’ve been doing analysis for some time, that’s right.” Seb started. With every word, his confidence got stronger. “I studied journalism and sports at the university, but that somehow didn’t work out for me.” He didn’t want to share his life story; he didn’t need their pity.

“I see. And since then how did you practice this activity.”

“Mostly in my spare time on an amateur level. I run a web blog where I share my views on some football matches, players and tactics. And I’ve also contributed to smaller newspapers and magazines, but nothing serious.”

“May I add here that his analyses on this blog are very accurate.” Klopp spoke up for the first time during the interview. “He has a good eye for the game. We could use his help.”

“Okay, you know that I’m not interfering with your job, Jürgen. But there’s one point we need to clear up, first.” His face turned serious in a split second. “I understand that you supported Marco a lot during his– difficulties. As the leader of the club, I must be grateful for that to you. But I want to emphasize that you don’t get this chance because you are Marco’s, um, boyfriend.” He couldn’t hide his discomfort uttering the last word. “We are looking for a useful addition to our coaching staff. I expect you to give your utmost best and not to misuse this situation.”

“Of course, I have never thought of it that way.” Seb explained himself hastily. “I’m only trying to show what I can do and then let you decide whether I should get further chances or not.”

“Okay.” Watzke nodded. “I’ll leave you to Jürgen, then.”

Both men stood up and Seb got the message that all of them were leaving. He followed Klopp out of the office and then down the corridor, repeating players’ statistics in his head.

“So the test I devised shouldn’t trouble you. We are going to play a friendly with our U23 team. During the first half, I want you to observe things and then share your thoughts in half-time. That’s it. Almost purely a formality.” He winked at him reassuringly and put his hand on Seb’s shoulder.

They were joined by other members of the coaching team whom Seb didn’t know and Klopp didn’t bother to introduce. Fair enough, after all, it wasn’t sure whether Seb was going to be a colleague of them. They walked to the training pitch where players of both teams were finishing their warming up.

“Hey, Marco, I had no idea, that it was ‘ _bring your significant other to work day_ ’ today!” Kevin shouted as he spotted Seb in the approaching group.

“Well, lucky for you!” Mats snapped back. “If it was, you would be the only one showing up alone.” His comment was welcomed with laughter from all sides.

“Calm down, lads!” Klopp took the initiative. “Herr Kruse is here in a professional matter. But let’s get started, shall we? I’m glad that everyone has showed up healthy and soundly. I hope you enjoyed your vacations, but it’s time to move on and get ready for the second half of the season. We will start with a training match. Two halves of thirty minutes and take it easy. I don’t want anyone to get injured. After that some running and you are free for the afternoon.”

His speech drew a few smiles on the players’ faces. The coaches soon left to their respective teams and announced the starting line-ups and gave out a few tactical instructions. Seb felt left-behind, but he could feel Marco’s reassuring and supportive look on him all the time. It certainly helped.

Both teams’ coaches sat down on the single bench the pitch had and Seb joined them. The players not playing lined up on the sidelines, doing some exercises to keep themselves warm. Just before the match started, Klopp walked over to Seb.

“You should concentrate on the flaws in our players’ game. When do they make the most errors, how can that be helped, how could the opponent capitalize on them? Things like that. As if it was a simple analysis, alright?”

Seb nodded and started watching the game with eager eyes right from the start. It was interesting to see a training match. There were no challenges for the ball; the players had listened to Klopp’s words. Seb sometimes had the feeling that only the coaches took the game seriously, as they were making notes busily. He tried to ignore them and concentrated on the play itself.

Soon he completely forgot about the environment and he was immersed in football. The first obvious flaw he noticed was the lack of fitness. It was understandable after two weeks of relaxing, especially if he considered the amount of sweets he saw Marco digest in those days. But there was something below the surface and for some times he couldn’t get hold of it.

It was hard to analyze a game where two unbalanced teams met, but he tried to repeat Klopp’s advice and imagined what would have happened if they were playing against a stronger opponent. And then it clicked in his mind. It was so simple that he wondered how he hadn’t realized it earlier.

After that, everything came easy to him. He was aware of every error the players made and made a number of mental notes. He hated putting down everything on paper. Yes, statistics and observations had their places on reports, but why would he record every idea if they weren’t all valid?

After thirty minutes, the main team was up by four but Seb knew it would have been much worse if it wasn’t one of the friendliest games they could ask for. As the referee blew for half-time, the coaches got up and gathered around their players. Seb started off Klopp’s way but just before he opened his mouth to share all his notes, the coach stopped him.

“Oh, no. Didn’t I mention? You are working with the reserve team today.” He couldn’t hide a smile of satisfaction for putting Seb in an uncomfortable situation. “The coach’s name is David. He knows about you and will make any change you say. They are yours; show me what you can do!”

Seb controlled himself and nodded to signal that he had gotten the message. He jogged over to the other team and found the head coach standing in the middle of the player’s circle.

“Ah, you’re here!” He greeted him. “Where are your notes?” He asked, looking surprised at Seb’s empty hands. Or maybe it was the skeleton gloves that shocked him?

“In here.” Seb answered, pointing at his forehead.

“Okay.” David Wagner nodded but his voice had a pinch of doubt. “So give it to us.”

“First of all, they slow down in their attack. They get forward, right to the final third and then the man with the ball looks around for support and usually out of ideas.” He rattled, all eyes fixed on him. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling for someone with social issues. “So we can afford to close him down and hassle him to lose the ball. Don’t worry about them using the opened space; they lack the smartness just now.”

“Who is this guy?” One player snorted. Seb suspected that he was referring to his comments and not his actual identity. He couldn’t imagine that there was anyone in Germany who didn’t know who he was. It was a fame he hadn’t asked for.

“Don’t care about it and listen to him!” His coach instructed in a voice that allowed no objections.

“Now you and you.” Seb pointed at two attacking players. He was embarrassed that he didn’t know their names, but he really wasn’t prepared from the reserve team. “Don’t be so eager to score a goal on your own. A goal pass is still better than a wasted chance. If you get the ball, take your time. Piszczek will usually be high up the pitch on one flank, and no matter who will play on the other one, neither Durm nor Schmelzer are technical enough to steal the ball from you if you take care.”

His comment was received with mixed feelings so Wagner came to his help. He explained his points in better words and Seb slowly drew to the background. Talking to strangers in the appropriate way had never been his strength. The coach also announced the substitutions and after that there was no need for Seb to explain his remarks. Instead, he talked to the substitutes in person. He liked this way of communication much better and he felt like he could transfer his ideas more accurately.

The match restarted sooner than Seb had expected and they walked back to the bench. Marco was brought down and now he looked at him with pride in his eyes. Seb chose to ignore him and he sat down next to Wagner, ready to share his remarks immediately so the coach could then tell the players about them.

He started with noting every change in the main team’s line-up and then he suggested a dozen ready changes for their team. It was harder to come up with useful advices when he didn’t know their own players’ skills and capabilities, and Wagner was willing to point this out numerous times, but he accepted most of his suggestions. And to Seb’s pleasure, they worked.

The first notable improvement was their defense. They really could afford losing one of their defenders in order to get the ball back and they had a lot of space in front of them once they regained possession.  They didn’t concede in the second half, moreover they managed to pull two back. All in all, Seb was satisfied with himself, although by the end of the game he was exhausted mentally. He had never thought that coaching was such an intensive activity and he only hoped that it would get better with time. _If_ he would have more time, that was.

After the game ended, the players got up and joined their friends on the pitch. Marco was walking in Seb’s way, but he quickly turned around, looking for Klopp. He didn’t want to engage in a conversation with his boyfriend right now. First, he was in no mood to listen to his compliments and second, he wanted to prove that he didn’t depend on Marco. Well, not completely.

“Can we go back to my office?” Klopp asked. He was all smiles and that gave Seb hopes.

“Um, don’t you need to be here for the training?”

“Not really. They can run without me. The important stuff starts tomorrow.” He explained and put his hand on Seb’s back, leading him back to the main building.

 

“First of all, I want to congratulate you, Sebastian.” Klopp started once they were sitting in his office. “You really did a wonderful job out there. The way you used our lack of speed in attack was smart. I’m not saying that others wouldn’t have noticed it, but still– that’s the least I expected. And I also saw that you could adjust the boys’ game to the changes I made. That’s very valuable, although we don’t need you for that.”

“So what do you need me for, then?”

“Preparing reports on our opponents. Most of the time, it is boring. You watch their last games, analyze their play, find the players’ weaknesses and write it all down. You hand it over to us and then we will make sure that our lads understand it perfectly.”

“So I won’t have to talk to them, right?” Seb asked relieved, remembering his unpleasant experience on the pitch.

“Not really.” Klopp laughed. “But of course, nothing stops you to improve your communication and help us out. But it’s a long way to go there.”

“And maybe I don’t want to walk down that road.” Seb added.

“We shall see. I can’t really tell you exactly what your job will be like. We try to find you the role that suits you the more, so in the first weeks we will experiment with you.”

“Will I get to the bench on matches?”

“Well, definitely not in the start. And at first you will make reports with other analysts. Not that we don’t trust you, but it takes some time to learn how to do it.”

“Yes, I get it.”

“I’m glad. So do you have any other questions?”

“Just two. First: Do I have to wear a training kit?” Klopp burst out laughing after Seb’s question.

“Well, not in your office. On trainings and on matches, definitely yes. And also in public. But I hope that’s not a problem?”

“Not at all. And my second question: If I say yes, what awaits me?”

“First you have to attend a coaching training in order to get your qualification. We have a place for a curse starting next week in Cologne. We’re leaving for training camp then so it would be ideal for you to go there. Both professionally _and_ privately. In the first phase it will be two weeks long and then you will have to attend lectures every week. Cologne isn’t that far so I’m sure it would be convenient enough. Of course the club will cover all expenses. Of course it stands only in the case that you accept our offer. After that, you will be on a few months’ trial and then you will possibly get a real contract.”

“Fair enough.” Seb nodded.

“So can we expect an addition to our coaching team?”

“I don’t know. How much time do I have for thinking?”

“As little as possible. Maybe you can give us an answer tomorrow?”

“Okay.” Seb approved and they shook hands.

 

Seb waited in the corridor for the training to end. He didn’t want to sit in the main hall and then be stared at by every player. Klopp had left his office and had looked at him puzzled, but hadn’t asked anything. After almost an hour, the squad returned with loud clatter. Apparently everyone had a story from his vacation that they couldn’t wait sharing. Seb adjourned to the hall after they all had gone to the locker rooms. His steps were echoed by the sudden silence.

He sat down on one of the couches and stared at the carpet in front of him. Soon players started to leave and he got the inescapable gazes. But most of them didn’t disturb him. Mats stopped by for a few words, and reassured him. He was one of the few who had known about his application beforehand. Just as he finished, Marco appeared in the hallway. He recoiled with a strange expression on his face, but Seb blamed it on his tiredness.

“Can we go?” The blonde asked as he reached them. Seb nodded and they walked to Marco’s car in complete silence.

“What’s wrong?” Seb turned to his boyfriend once they had got inside the car.

“Nothing.” Marco snapped, making sure that Seb understood that he was lying. But Seb wasn’t the kind of person who could be troubled so easily.

“Okay then.” He shrugged and Marco cursed silently. He really could have gotten used to it by now. “What are we going to eat? Should I cook something when we get home, or are we buying takeout?”

“Takeout. I’m hungry like a wolf.”

That was all their conversation in the car. They had stopped to buy some pasta on their way home. Seb got it out of the car and set the table while Marco unpacked his training bag. They sat down and ate in silence, much to Seb’s displeasure. They usually talked a lot, up to the point where the food got cold.

“How was your training?” Seb tried to lift the mood, but he only made things worse.

“As if you cared.” Marco snorted.

“Okay.” Seb sighed. “I’m going to ask it once more and maybe this time you will answer me normally: What’s wrong?”

“Nothing apart from the way you ignored me the whole day.”

“Excuse me? What was I supposed to do? Jump into your arms once the match ended and improvise a sensational kissing session just so everyone saw how much we love each other?”

“No.” Marco snapped. “But at least you could have talked to me. As if I was more than a complete stranger. Instead, you left me there like an idiot.”

“Well, right now you are close to being an idiot.” Seb retorted. He should have watched his tongue. If he continued in this manner, things would get out of control. They had just made up, he wasn’t wishing for another row. “I wasn’t chilling out there. Maybe it wasn’t apparent, but I was working. Or at least trying to get a job. It was a big day for me and I’m a bit hurt that you don’t care about it. You are only interested in you and how I didn’t spend every second with you. You like it or not, I was there as me and not as your boyfriend. You should get used to if I’ll work for your team.”

“I’m sorry.” Marco said shyly as the supports of his resentment were destroyed by Seb. “And are you going to work for BVB?”

“I was afraid you wouldn’t ask.” Seb smiled. “Klopp said I passed his test and I could get a trial. So it’s only up to me. I should decide by tomorrow.”

“And how did you decide?” Marco asked. Seb registered with gladness that he cared about him after all. And as guilt for his previous behavior mixed with excitement for his boyfriend, Seb’s fantasy started to work full steam ahead.

“Well, I’m almost sure that I will say yes. There’s only one question that can change my mind.” Seb said teasingly.

“And what’s that?” Marco was falling for it.

“Can you sleep with a coworker?”

Marco burst out laughing. “I don’t know. I guess yes, but I’ll have to check my contract.”

“I see.” Seb nodded still very serious. “In that case we should hurry up before I sign to Borussia, shouldn’t we?” He grabbed Marco’s hand and dragged him out of the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're interested in the next scene, head over to the [one-shot](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3069068) I posted about their love making. Hopefully you will like it, too.


	17. Being Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your ongoing support and love. And OMG, 2500 hits! You are the best! I think that now the updates will slow down, I guess I will post a new chapter at the weekends. I won't have much time for writing, and I still want to produce the same quality as so far. Hopefully I can do that.  
> Feedback is always appreciated. :)

Marco slumped down on his bed, barely able to keep his eyes open. He had had no illusions; he had known that Kloppo wouldn’t spare them in the training camp. But he certainly hadn’t expected this much strain. He listened to the sounds in the adjoining bathroom where Erik had gone to take a shower. He had been there for almost five minutes now and he hadn’t turned on the water yet, and Marco started to wonder why that was.

It was their third day in training camp. In Spain, like usual. Marco loved staying there; during the years they had come to know the staff and they were treated like old and loyal guests. But he still loved the summer training camps more, primarily because of their more familial atmosphere. They joked around a lot more then, winter concentrations were about staying fit and correct all errors they had made during the first half of the season. It was pure work and no fun.

There was something else that made his days longer and harder to bear, though. And that was Seb. More precisely, his absence. He was used to being away from his boyfriend, but he had changed since the previous year. Or maybe since the last summer. He had endured the distance between them better back then. And he could only blame Seb for making him fall in love with the younger one even more during their New Year celebration.

They texted in the morning, and they sent a few messages during the day, when one of them had a short break, but it was nowhere close to being enough. Marco needed to hear Seb’s voice. He needed to tell him his feelings and then wait for the other one to reassure him. He missed those conversations. They still talked in the evenings, but it just wasn’t the same. And Marco was going to call Seb this day too, if only Erik finally started to take that shower!

He had been surprised that he had been paired with Erik. Kloppo usually stuck to accommodate defending and attacking players separately. It was his idea to improve the team cohesion within different zones. Not that Marco had lost any sleep over the matter; he had been used to staying in a room with Kevin, but since Marco’s coming out, the other one had problems with choosing his words. Marco didn’t mind his teasing and he thought that Kevin was the only completely honest one from his teammates, but Kloppo apparently didn’t agree with him, and scolded Kevin every time he made an ‘inappropriate’ comment.

Like when he referred to their opponents as ‘stupid cocksuckers’. Kevin found his remark very amusing, but he quickly stopped laughing once he noticed all the strict looks sent his way. And no-one cared that Marco had smiled, too. Some things never changed, Marco sighed. He didn’t want his friends to watch their tongue just because of him. He missed that friendly teasing, the way they constantly called each other names. Sure, he had felt a bit uncomfortable when he had been the target of a childish comment querying his ‘latent’ gayness, but it was still miles better than the awkward silence that ruled in the locker-room when he was around.

There was one other possible reason behind him having to share a room with Erik. And that was that the defender had talked to Kloppo.  He had come out to Mats, Marco knew that much, because the captain had called him in its aftermath, asking how many more gays would turn up in _his_ team. Marco could only laugh at his whining, because he knew one thing for sure: that Mats would support Erik as much as he had supported Marco.

And Erik would need all help if he didn’t start showering finally. Marco checked his phone; the young brunette had been gone for exactly twelve minutes now. What was taking him so long? Marco was ready to stand up and go on a lonely walk (that had become legendary and a great source of amusement among his teammates), when he finally heard the sound of flowing water.

He used his extraordinary reaction time to unlock his phone and dial Seb’s number in a matter of few seconds. But he couldn’t urge his boyfriend to pick up his cell. He could imagine Seb walking to his nightstand with comfortable strides, checking the caller’s identity, smiling a bit and possibly waiting for two more seconds before answering his call…

“Hello Marco.” His deep voice finally came from the speaker and eased all the tension in Marco in a moment. “You took your time today.”

“Erik took his time.” Marco dodged the accusation.

“What, he lasted longer than you have expected?”

“Seb, stop it!” Marco snapped. “Don’t start this jealousy act again! Just because we are staying in one room and he’s in love with me, doesn’t mean that, well– _that_.”

“I see you can’t name things. That suggests guilt.” Seb took a pause. “Don’t worry, I’m just kidding.” His voice changed suddenly to the one of a caring and devoted boyfriend’s. “How was your day?”

“Just the usual things. Waking up in the middle of the night, Kloppo trying to kill us; quick breakfast, Kloppo trying to kill us; lunch, Kloppo trying to kill us. And now I’m lying on my bed, talking to you.”

“Poor you! Luckily you have me to sweeten your days.”

“It would be much sweeter if you were here.”

“Well, if all this works out, I will be with you the next time. Consider this a necessary bad.”

“What have you learned today?” Marco asked. It was the usual conversation they had. Inquiring about each other’s day, Seb trying to lift the mood and then fall back to the boring routine nonetheless.

“Absolutely nothing.” Seb said with exaggerated drama. “Seriously, if some coaches go into the world of football with only this knowledge, you’d better hurry up collecting money, because the sport might not have much time to live.”

“Come on, it cannot be that bad! You should have an open mind. I’m sure you can learn a lot. I doubt that they can’t tell you anything new.”

“Ha, that was offensive of you!”

“Sorry. I’ll make it up to you at home.” Marco smiled. “Only a week left.”

“You’re counting the days? That’s so cute.” Seb chuckled.

“Shut up! Maybe I should go with Erik, after all!” Marco countered.

“Try it. But bear in mind that I will still become a coach and your boss in a way. I will be able to make your and Erik’s life a hell!”

“You would do that because of me? That’s cute, too.”

“Don’t you ever say that again! Nothing about me can be cute. It would ruin my image.” Seb burst out laughing and Marco joined him.

“I miss you.” The blonde’s voice was now serious.

“I miss you too. But it’s just like you’ve said: only seven days and we will meet again.”

“But only for a weekend.” Marco pouted. “After that you will have to go back to Cologne.”

“Yes, but it’s not that far away from Dortmund. I can go home back to you whenever you want me to.” Seb tried to cheer him up.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Maybe I don’t have to, but I will.” Seb reassured him, there was a bitter tone to his voice. “But now I have to go. The guys want to go hit some pubs. I can’t be left behind.”

“Okay, but don’t drink them under the table.”

“I would never do that!” Seb gasped. “That’s Marcel’s privilege. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Marco smiled. “And Seb, could you text me when you get back to the hotel?”

“Sure thing. Take care.”

And that was it. Seb hung up and Marco was left in his hotel room with a bittersweet taste in his mouth and a feeling of incompleteness in his heart. He just felt so half without Seb sitting next to him.

“Have you called Seb or should I leave?” Erik returned from the bathroom.

He wore nothing but shorts and was drying his hair with a BVB towel. Marco shot down his eyes. It was an old reflex when around men with any uncovered part of their bodies. Erik certainly hadn’t made his job easier; the defender chose to slope about in as little clothes as possible as often as possible. Marco found it strange, but never mentioned it. It was the first time he stayed in a room with Erik so he had no idea what was normal for the younger one.

“I heard that Nuri is planning a FIFA tournament. Will you take part?” Erik asked suddenly, taking on a V-neck. Marco would never admit it to him, but it was also the T-shirt he thought suited him the most.

“I guess.” Marco sighed. “But I have to take a shower first. I hope that we haven’t run out of hot water after your marathon showering.”

He stood up, got out new clothes from the commode and left to the bathroom with a strange feeling that Erik was staring at his ass the whole time.

 

* * *

 

Seb sighed as he kept staring at his phone. He hated to lie to Marco but sometimes it was necessary. He had heard in the blonde’s voice that something had been troubling him and he had known that Marco wouldn’t tell him. So he hadn’t asked. And he hadn’t said anything about his own difficulties, either. He hadn’t particularly lied; they had been out for a beer, only two days earlier. And he had determined then that he would not participate in another common activity with his ‘classmates’.

 

_When he arrived, there were no signs that he would be treated differently: a few casual glances at the hotel and in the classroom. Most of his classmates looked straight through him and if there were a bit longer glances than the usual, he blamed it only on his extraordinary appearance. He sat in the last row, like he had always done in school and hoped that they would leave him alone._

_It had worked until the lunch break when they went to dine together and were supposed to get to know each other better. Seb quickly sat down next to his hotel roommate. His name was Theo, he came from Aachen and wasn’t much of a talker, either. A perfect match for Seb. Not much happened in the restaurant. They certainly didn’t make new friends; all they achieved was that they planned another, more informal meeting for the evening in a pub. It was much more of Seb’s liking and he was actually looking forward to it. He believed that only after a few beers the real side of a person emerged. This time he maybe shouldn’t have asked for it._

_It happened after two rounds of beer. Everyone started to lose his bonds and the conversation was about to get heated. And Seb had no idea how heated it would become. He was lazily sipping his beer when one guy – from Mainz if Seb remembered correctly – looked at him._

_“You know what? You look very familiar to me.” He said to him and Seb got instantly that it wasn’t a question. He knew very well who he was. “What team are you from again?”_

_“Dortmund.” Seb answered slowly before he took another sip._

_“Then you should be careful around the locker room! Reus might be around anytime waiting for his prey!” Another – pretty fat for a coach – man raved and his comment was greeted with disapproving looks or scattered laughter. Seb clinched his hand. He had to punch someone or something. Finally he decided for the table’s leg._

_“That’s it!” The first man cried out with very poor acting. “Reus! You are Reus’s boyfriend!” He pointed at him and suddenly everyone felt silent around the table._

_Seb didn’t say a word, just mused his options. This whole setting was only about ‘outing’ him in front of his classmates, he was sure about that. The first guy was one of those who looked scornfully at the fat guy. So it could go so many ways from now on._

_He wasn’t a fan of violence but if he heard another bad thing about his Marco, he would hit the man. He had advised Marco how to handle harassment but now when he was the subject of it he felt the same helplessness and shame. His initial thought was to try to refuse the claims. And he was disgusted of himself for that. Wasn’t honesty what he had asked for from Marco? And now he would have simply denied his own boyfriend, the love of his life?_

_“Yes, I am.” He said dryly and turned to the fat man. “So maybe you should be careful in the hotel.”_

_“Chill out, pal! I meant no harm. But you have to admit that what you do is not normal. And I can’t imagine what kind of sick people rule at BVB to let you be one of their coaches. Do they want to make a queer club in Dortmund?”_

_“You should stop now, Helmut.” Theo spoke up for the first time in the course of the evening._

_“Shut up, kiddo! I’m not talking to you.” Helmut snorted. “Or do you think that young boys or even grown up footballers should be around people like him?”_

_And then Seb lost it. ‘Think of Marco’, he tried to calm himself down, but his arm had flung before he could stop it. He saw the faces of shock and the dread in Helmut’s eyes. His fingers were still clinched and now he tightened the grip as his hand gathered speed, flying towards the other one’s cheekbone._

_And then Seb stopped just millimeters from Helmut’s face. He breathed heavily and his whole hand was trembling with anger. If he could have killed with his eyes, Helmut would have long been on his way to the afterlife. Everyone looked at him bewildered and not only the ones sitting at their table._

_“At least I won’t fill their heads with this bullshit.” He hissed through his fingers and he lowered his hand. “Thanks for the beer.”_

_Helmut looked at him clueless but as Seb pushed his chair back and started off to the door, he got what he had meant. The fresh air calmed Seb down. The streets were covered with snow and the roadmen worked hard to keep the roads free of ice. He walked with long strides, his coat unzipped. He endured the cold and it cooled his overheated body._

_“Wait for me!” Someone called after him. Seb spun around; it was Theo._

_“You didn’t need to leave the party to comfort me. I’m fine.” He smiled at him. He was barely more than a boy and he looked ridiculous in his thick coat his mother must have chosen for him._

_“I know. But I couldn’t listen to them any longer. I’m with you, man!”_

_“Thanks.” Seb nodded. He found the way Theo tried to sound like an American and failed utterly amusing._

_He had no idea why, but he invited Theo for a beer to a different pub. And the boy agreed._

_“What is it like?” Theo asked after the waiter placed their two glasses on the table. “To be a football star’s boyfriend.”_

_“I don’t know.” Seb shrugged. “For me Marco has never been a footballer. He is simply Marco.”_

_“I see. I’m sorry if I was nosy. I didn’t mean to.”_

_“It’s okay. If you ask anything personal, I just won’t answer it.”_

_“Okay.” Theo smiled and lifted his glass._

_“And what are your big plans? Why do you want to be a coach?”_

_“I don’t really want to.” The other one laughed. “I’m here because of my mother. Well, she didn’t send me here, but she said I should finally get a job. You know, I come from a small village and the football club’s coach is age-old and wants to retire. So I took the opportunity. Easy money, almost nothing to do and no expectations.”_

_“Wow, you’ve got life figured out.” Seb whistled. “If being a coach is not your dream, then what is it?”_

_“Ideally, doing nothing.” Theo smiled._

_“Cheers to that!” Seb laughed and raised his glass thinking that maybe he had just found a friend._

 

Theo had turned out to be a good friend indeed. They spent almost all their free-time together. It was good to have some time away from football after a day of lectures on tactics, performances and trainings, especially since Theo didn’t really know much about the game. So they talked about their lives and ideas about the world. Seb usually didn’t open up to a stranger the way he had done to Theo, but there was something about the boy’s eyes that made him trust him. He was so like his younger self, Seb noticed. And he would have asked Theo about his dilemma.

But the boy wasn’t nearby and he was alone with his concerns. He hadn’t told Marco what had happened and he had felt guilty ever since. It was an unusual feeling to him. He was pretty sure about his decisions and he stuck to them. But, probably for the first time, Marco had made him question his choice, even if the blonde didn’t know about it.

Seb sighed. What was wrong with him? He had never had problems dealing with haters. He had ignored them and that had worked, partly. The shit had piled up of course, but ever since he had gotten beaten, he had been getting over the past. He had a future before him, after all. But that meant one thing. He wasn’t fighting for himself alone anymore.

There was Marco. He had to be strong for him, too. And not just that. He couldn’t carry on with his double standards. He had asked for complete honesty from the midfielder. He had to be honest himself. And that was what troubled him the most. Not the fact that he had to change, but that he was falling completely for Marco. It was something he couldn’t have imagined earlier: to actually _want_ to give himself to another human being. He sighed as he dialed Marco’s number.

 

* * *

 

Marco eased through the first round of their private FIFA tournament against Schmelle who wasn’t much of a player. They were in the hotel’s very special leisure room that had been set apart for the team’s use. And they needed such a big space. Only two played at the same time and the others sat down at one of the tables and chatted. Marco was in no mood for pleasant but at the same time empty conversations but there was simply too much time until his next ‘match’ so he decided to slump down next to Kehli who didn’t participate in the tournament and joined them only out of politeness.

“How are you doing, Marco?” The older man looked at him over his phone.

“Fine.”

“Did you win?” Kehli smiled at him and Marco nodded. “You certainly don’t look glad. Come on, blurt out what’s troubling you.”

“Nothing.” Marco answered but he changed his mind and sighed. He needed to talk to someone and why couldn’t it be their former captain? He knew he could share with him anything without being afraid that it would get to someone else. Kehli was a good listener. “Or rather everything. This whole camp. And maybe my whole life. I feel like I’m burned-out.”

“Do you miss Seb?”

“Of course I do, but it goes further than that. With him next to me, I could have endured any stress and difficulty. And now it all comes back to me and I start to doubt that I will be able to carry on.”

“Well, I think this is completely normal. You’ve been through a lot and no-one can imagine what exactly that was. But he will be there for you, won’t he? Especially now since he’s going to be a coach.”

“Yes, but still. Shouldn’t it have gotten better by now? I mean shouldn’t I be able to ignore all this shit on my own?”

“Marco.” The other man’s features softened. “No-one knows what you should be able to do. But I think that as long as you’re happy or ready to discuss your fears, you’re doing fine. It’s just a little insecurity and I’d say it’s only normal.”

“Thanks, Sebastian. This helped a lot.” Marco smiled.

“Sure thing. I’m always here for you.” Kehli shrugged. “But tell me one thing. What is your Seb like? Is he really that smart about football?”

“He is.” Marco chuckled, drawing a few glances their way. “And I wouldn’t call him _my_. He could get offended.”

“I’ll bear that in mind. But he looks like a good guy. I’m sure he will do a great job.”

Marco didn’t answer him from two reasons. First, he didn’t know how to react to those nice words that at the same time felt so empty and meaningless. Secondly, Erik was approaching them with a huge grin.

“I just beat Kuba.” He boasted. “You should have seen it!”

“I’m sorry, maybe next time.” Marco mumbled a dishonest apology.

“Hey, maybe we will get drawn together.” The young defender said with an excitement that Marco couldn’t share.

He didn’t care about this tournament at all. He just joined not to stick out and cause suspicion. Pretending that he was fine was still much better than answering questions of concern from Kloppo, Mats or any other teammate. So he kept acting and slowly started to actually enjoy himself. By the time he reached the semi-final, he even managed to cheer whenever he scored a goal. And he laughed straight into Nuri’s face when he beat him 4–3 after extra time. But his smile faded immediately when the other semi-final was over.

Erik had never been good at FIFA. Until now, apparently. He had won every match he played and when they had been over, he had looked at Marco as if he was expecting a compliment or just a recognizing nod. The blonde had had no idea why the younger one had sought his presence and appreciation so much, but he hadn’t given it much thought. He had helped Erik and supported him, so he had guessed that it was the sign of gratitude.

When they sat down for the final they shared a friendly handshake and Nuri went over the rules.

“Okay, I don’t want to see any annoying of the opponent and be gentle with each other virtually, too. We want to see a good game here and no wrestling on the pitch. Understood?”

They both nodded, although Marco found the scene very comical. As if it was a dead serious thing and not only a stupid game. He didn’t dare to give voice to his opinion though, because he knew that for Nuri it was a dead serious matter.

Their teammates gathered around the TV and they even started to cheer once the game had started. Most of them were on Marco’s side, including the tournament’s master. Nuri shouted something like Marco kicking Erik’s ass, because he wouldn’t manage to accept that he had been beaten by a runner-up. And Marco gave his all, leading 3–1 in half-time. They took a little break for their fingers to have a rest and for them to have a beer. Drinking alcohol wasn’t particularly permitted in training camps, but no-one checked on them.

Nuri ordered them to continue playing after five minutes and everyone sat down again, Auba next to the TV so he could take photos of Marco. The Gabonese didn’t seem to have enough of how the blonde’s lips moved from concentration. It all came natural to Marco; his lips moved during real games as well, but fewer noticed. Until they saw a few pictures of him where his mouth was open in a very strange way sometimes. And some internet users had made use of those snapshots after his coming out, editing various objects in front of him.

“Come on, Marco! Just 45 minutes to go for glory!” Nuri shouted and his remark was greeted with a wave of laughter.

A few seconds later ovation shook the room as Marco caught Erik’s defense off guard and punished his team with a fourth goal. The brunette let out a sigh and rubbed his forehead with his hand. He shot down his look as if he was embarrassed but Marco saw just enough to know that he was only angry at himself. Marco couldn’t relate to his feelings but he could guess what was wrong. Seeing that everyone cheered for Marco and no-one but Matze and Mitch on his side, Erik must have felt totally uncared-for.

But by the time Marco reached this conclusion, Erik scored, capitalizing on the midfielder’s absentmindedness. His two supporters tried to produce an equal reaction to Marco’s fan base’s, but it was hopeless. But what really struck Marco strange was that he wasn’t disappointed when Erik scored. He sympathized with him and felt happier when he saw the younger one’s lips curl up in a smile. Erik had taken this whole tournament more seriously than him, he deserved to win. So Marco leant back in his seat and let that happen.

“What was that?” Nuri snapped as Erik took the lead a few seconds before full time.

“A great football match.” Marco said simply and turned to the young defender. “Well played.”

“No, you let him win.” Nuri accused him as if it was the biggest sin in the world. “It was no fun at all.”

“Fun?” Marco burst out as he sprung up. Everyone was looking at him. “Do you think it was so much fun for Erik when you all cheered for me like madmen and treated him as if he was some kind of an enemy? This is only a game and you took it too seriously. Just think about that maybe before judging me!” He hissed and he rushed out of the room.

 

* * *

 

He caught up to Marco in the hallway. He didn’t say anything, just followed the blonde to their room. The midfielder was clearly upset. He had never turned around to check who was tugging after him. Maybe he hadn’t needed to; Erik liked to believe that there was some kind of special connection between the two of them.

They had left behind a bewildered bunch of players. The whispering had started right after Marco had stormed out. Everyone had been trying to understand what had just happened. They had expected an explanation from Erik, but the defender had been as clueless as his teammates. But instead of making theories, what the others had started to do, he had slipped out of the room and ran after Marco.

They were now in their room, Marco sitting on his bed, burying his face in his hands and Erik by the door, looking at the older one. His idol, his _love_. No matter how hard he had tried, he hadn’t been able to get the blonde out of his heart. And maybe he hadn’t even wanted to. Because whenever he had doubts about whether what he had been doing was right, he remembered the words Marco had told him. _Based on what I know, I would date you._

Erik didn’t mean to be pushy. He hadn’t lost his mind completely. He knew that he most likely wouldn’t stand a chance against Seb. He knew better than even try it. He would have only earned everyone’s hatred and scorn. But that didn’t mean that he couldn’t be next to Marco, by his side, ready for him in case he was needed. And for the time being, that was enough for his young and crazy heart and the tiny flame of hope that was left there.

“Do you want to talk?” He asked shyly as he sat down opposite to Marco, on his own bed. The blonde shook his head without looking up. “Come on, you need to tell someone! You are clearly troubled. And let me reassure you that around here, I’m the wisest choice.” He said jokingly and Marco snickered weakly. Erik loved that sound so much.

“I know. But it’s all too shitty and you wouldn’t understand.” There was no disparagement in his eyes that now were measuring Erik.

“Try me!” He said and he put his legs on the bed as if he was signalizing that he was ready.

“Most importantly, I miss Seb. But I guess you’ve already figured out that much.” Marco started. “But there’s something more to this, and I can’t really grasp what it is. I feel depressed and I haven’t felt that way for a very long time. I’m pessimistic about my future. I still can’t believe that I can make this and get over the hatred and condemn.”

“But you are doing great! The worst things are over!”

“Are they really?” Marco snorted. “Yes, it seems that the press finally stopped writing about me and the last matches were fine. On the pitch I can be the football player I have always been. But once the game is over, I suddenly become everyone’s toy. And it’s no better in the locker room, either.”

“What do you mean? If anyone insults you, you should report it!” Erik burst out, looking ready to take care of that someone immediately.

“Relax, it’s not that! Quite the opposite. I think that you are being too careful to me. I miss the old times when you joked around me and also about me. I’m the same person as I was back then. But now everyone is trying to be politically correct all the time, as if I was a very precious vase that would break at the lightest touch.”

“Well, it doesn’t sound that horrible. It can be solved easily.”

“No, it’s really not that huge. It’s actually the little things I miss. The friendly teases, the playful punches and the laughs.” He wanted to carry on, but his phone stopped him. He glanced at the screen and looked at Erik apologetically. “It’s Seb.”

“Sure.” Erik nodded, swallowing the bitter taste he felt. “Should I go out and wait?”

“No, don’t trouble yourself.” Marco sprung up, lightened up by the prospect of talking to his boyfriend. “I’ll take a walk. And Erik.” He turned around in the doorway. “Thank you. You are a great guy.”

Erik nodded and could barely wait for Marco to leave so he could grin from ear to ear. He wasn’t Marco’s number one; but he could be his best friend and that was the first step. After that, anything could happen.


	18. An Unkept Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for waiting for my updates so patiently, I hope I can come up with a story that is worth the waiting. :) Please share your opinion on this chapter in the comment section.  
> A huge thanks goes to my wonderful beta Blue Night who always stops me from publishing typos and other mistakes.

Marco had never understood why some people adored the Spanish evenings. Not until now. He had answered Seb’s call only to let him know that he would call him back. He had slipped out of the hotel, fortunately not meeting anyone. He was a grown man, but the coaching team wouldn’t have been pleased if they knew about his ‘after bedtime’ adventures. But he needed a quiet place to tell Seb everything that troubled him and there was no better alternative than the hotel’s garden.

It was chilly outside and he had to huddle up on a bench to keep himself warm. The night was peaceful, only the waves crashing to the rocks broke the silence. Marco quickly glanced around, just in case, but only the palm trees would listen to him. He got his phone out of his pocket and as the display’s powerful light hit his eyes, it felt like he encroached on nature’s harmony. But first, he needed to establish his own life harmony, after all.

“Hi.” Seb’s voice sounded from the speakers. It felt somehow strange. Marco thought it was out of tiredness, then that it was the beers Seb must have had, but it wasn’t quite like that and it unsettled him even more.

“Are you back from partying already?” Marco asked. He knew his boyfriend all too much. If he went out ‘for a drink’, it barely ended before very late in the night.

“No, I haven’t gone at all.”

“Why? Is something wrong?” The blonde had forgotten about his own problems for a moment.

“Yes. _I_ am wrong.” Seb said with great amount of anger in his voice and Marco couldn’t account for it. “I lied to you, Marco and I’m ashamed of it.”

“What? Seb, what’s going on? Talk to me!” He stammered, not realizing that it was him, who kept the younger one from speaking.

“This place sucks, in all honesty. Well, not the place, but the people.” Seb started and retold the story of their beer night. Marco listened in complete silence, digesting his boyfriend’s words for a long time.

“I can’t believe it! Seb I’m so sorry!” He sighed in the all too well known feeling of uselessness. He wanted to be by Seb’s side, holding him firm, protecting him from all evil in the world, but there was half a continent between them, although hearing the desperation in the other one’s voice, Marco was inclined to start off to Cologne on foot.

“Don’t be, it’s not your fault. I’m not mad at them, but at myself. I should have told you immediately and it has been bugging me ever since. Can you forgive me?”

“Of course I can, but why haven’t you told me?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t want to trouble you. I’ve heard in your voice that you had your own problems and I don’t want you to deal with mine as well.”

“It always comes to this, doesn’t it?” Marco snapped, but he wasn’t really angry. “You are trying to protect me. You don’t have to!” He cried out. “I want to be a part of your life and I want you to be a part of mine. And that doesn’t mean sharing only the nice moments, but also the hardships. You can’t save me from the world, Seb and I don’t want you to deal with it alone, either.”

“You are right, I screwed it up.” Seb sighed and Marco could tell that he meant what he said.

“No, it’s okay. I see why you did that. Just let it be the last time.” Marco smiled.

“Agreed. What’s been troubling you?” Seb asked with a gentle tone in his voice.

“Basically nothing compared to your problems.”

“Marco, come on! It’s important no matter how trivial it seems.”

“Okay.” The footballer sighed. “It’s nothing specific, just the usual doubts, I could say. It just hit me harder this time.”

“We’ll get through it, don’t worry.” Seb immediately came to help and reassure the blonde.

“Yes, you always say that, but–” He took a moment of hesitation. “Do you believe it, Seb? Can you imagine us after all this publicity is over? Or will it be over at all?”

“I don’t know, I don’t think about it. Because right now all I care of is you and being with you in the present. You shouldn’t be concerned about the future, either. We’ll take what comes our way and that’s it. There’s no point in fearing something that you can’t affect.”

“You are right and yet, it is so hard to do it! All the time I feel like I’m just a toy for the whole world, as if everyone was waiting for me to make a slip so they can start an uproar again and fill the front pages with me. It is horrible! I know it sounds paranoid, but I can’t endure the pressure anymore.”

“You haven’t told me about it…”

“That’s because I haven’t realized it earlier. I don’t feel this way when you are around, because your presence just makes things easier. With you by my side every difficulty seems so much smaller. The guys try to help me, too, but they can’t. They don’t understand what I’m going through.”

“I don’t understand it completely, either.” Seb pointed out.

“Yes, but at least, you try to. Do you know what Mats does? Comes to me, pats my shoulder and says that everything is going to be fine and he starts to talk about problems that I don’t even have! It’s only him who thinks that I’m having them. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate it, I know he means well. But it hurts, because I feel like I’ll never have a normal life again. Maybe I have never had.”

“Now that’s a very stupid and depressed thing to say!” Seb snapped. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you and I don’t care! You are not like this, Marco! You are an optimistic guy who is ready to take any hurdle with a smile on his face. And may I add that you have an irresistible smile.” Marco chuckled at his comment. “So stand up on your feet! If you want someone to do something, tell him. No-one will read your thoughts. And find someone else to talk to. I want to be next to you all the time, but that won’t work. You need another person who can support you the way you need support.”

“Thanks.” Marco smiled. Seb had spoken very harshly but he didn’t mind it. He knew he had reached a point where only his boyfriend’s authoritative self would help.

“So tell me your options.”

“My _what_?” Marco snapped.

“Who can you talk to? If I let you alone on this matter I know you wouldn’t give it another thought. So I’m listening.”

Marco had to chuckle again. Seb knew him all too well. “There’s Kehli maybe.” He started, remembering their earlier conversation. “I don’t know who else–” There was one name on his mind but he was afraid to say it in front of Seb. “Ilkay, Nuri, Kuba or even Kevin? I get on well with them.”

“Or Erik.” Seb named his number one choice for him. “But Klopp would be willing to listen to you, too.”

“Yes, I’m sure he would. But I don’t want to trouble him again. He has done so much for me already; I don’t want to misuse his kindness.”

“He wouldn’t take it that way. Anyway, talk to someone. And report tomorrow, alright?”

“Okay.” Marco snickered.

“Everything fine now?” Seb asked and Marco nodded. He knew that the raven-haired didn’t need any words to understand him even if they were thousands of kilometers apart. “Good. Then go to your bed and get ready for tomorrow. I’ll call you in the morning. Good night and dream with me!”

“I’ll try!” Marco laughed as he ended the call.

He stayed in the dark night for a few more minutes, but he started to feel really cold, so he started off to the hotel. He said a silent prayer of gratitude for his amazing boyfriend. He couldn’t imagine what would have had happened to him if it hadn’t been for Seb. He stepped into the hotel’s hall absentminded and it turned out to be a huge mistake. He looked up only when he was already inside, but it was too late then to back out.

“Marco!” A raspy voice called after him and he stared towards its source, his trainer. “Shouldn’t you be inside your room right now?”

“Yes, I should, but I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to wake Erik up, so–” His mind came up with a desperate explanation very easily. Seeing the angry shade in Kloppo’s eyes, he needed one.

“So you decided to take a walk, how thoughtful of you.” The coach finished the sentence for him mockingly. “Don’t try to fool me, I’ve seen you from my room. You had everything on your mind but Erik.”

“I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.” Marco resigned defeated.

“I bet it won’t!” Kloppo snorted, grabbing his player by his shoulder and pulling him. “Come with me!”

Marco was too afraid to look up, so it took him by surprise that the coach led him to the hotel’s bar and ordered them two beers before sitting him down at a secluded table. The waiter didn’t wait too long with serving their order, turning around immediately, leaving them alone. Marco wished he had stayed just one second longer.

“So tell me what’s going on. Really!”

“I had some troubling thoughts and I needed to talk to Seb about them.”

“Right, because you thought you should share them with your boyfriend and not with your boss?” Klopp sighed and his voice changed. “Look, I know that you’re still going through hard times–”

“No, you don’t know and that’s the point!” Marco yelled, surprised by the volume of his own voice. “No-one understands what I experience, but everyone pretends so.” _No-one, but Seb_ , he wanted to add.

“You are right.” Klopp said, as if he hadn’t noticed Marco’s outburst. “I don’t understand why a young footballer, who was full of life and passion just a few days ago, has slowly become the depressed pile of junk that you are now. You know that I’m not interested in my players’ personal life as long as it doesn’t have a bad effect on their performance, but you are past that point. So tell me, what’s going on!”

“It’s not a personal problem.” Marco said and Klopp looked at him, urging him to continue. “It’s my career that I’m concerned about. And to be honest, I haven’t been feeling well at the club, lately.” This burden must have sat on his shoulders for longer than he had thought, because the words flowed out of him uncontrollably.

“Do you want to leave?”

“What? Oh, no! I owe this club much more than I could ever repay. And I don’t blame anyone. It’s just hard sometimes to accept the way the guys treat me. They don’t harass me,” he added hastily before it could cause another misunderstanding “but I feel they are too careful and polite with me. Does that make sense?”

“Not much, let me reassure you. But I see what you mean and I will do something about it.”

“Please, don’t!” Marco objected with wide movements of his hands. “They would think that they have done something wrong what they haven’t.”

“Don’t worry about that, I don’t need to speak to anyone to make a change.” Kloppo took a break. “And I’m actually glad that you think you shouldn’t get any special treatment, because that’s what I have wanted to talk to you about.”

Marco looked at his trainer in awe. So this whole thing had been just an act? Klopp hadn’t been angry at him for wandering outside, he only needed a reason to talk to him? Marco felt so stupid, not for the first time during that day.

“I know that at the beginning of this whole I promised you that I would support you and give you as much time as you needed. And nothing changed since then. But I want us to be clear on something and that is, that despite your special, um, situation I expect you to perform the same way as everyone else. That means that I want you to keep your private life out of the pitch especially now, since Sebastian will join us soon.”

Marco needed a few moments to realize who was he talking about, just like someone you know is called by a name that you are not used to. Even when that someone was your boyfriend, the closest person to your heart. So Klopp was afraid that their relationship might affect both of their works. Marco wasn’t surprised, he had counted with that and Seb had made sure that they would manage to deal with it before committing himself to BVB.

“Can you do that?” Klopp asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes, I think.” Marco nodded hesitantly. It wasn’t the reaction his coach was after but he had to content himself with this much. The blonde didn’t want to lie to him.

“That’s good. And the next time you have a professional problem, you talk to _me_ , alright?” Marco nodded again and Klopp’s usually strict face softened. “Great. I’m glad we cleared that up. And now drink your beer. It’s not as good as German and it gets even worse when it’s not cold.”

 

* * *

 

Each day passed faster than the one before in Spain and before he knew it, Marco was sitting on the plane back to Dortmund, his home. Klopp had been right, he hadn’t needed to talk to anybody, instead he had started to push just a bit more on him. The blonde had understood his intentions and he had taken the criticism from his coach with a wide smile. How much he had missed those witty remarks which were always straightforward and accurate and yet, never offensive!

And his teammates had realized this change, too. They had loosened up in front of Marco and the teases had returned, much to the midfielder’s delight. At first, the other players had been still careful and they hadn’t reached the point they had been at earlier, but it was better than nothing and Marco took it eagerly.

But no matter how much he had enjoyed the training camp in the end, it couldn’t compare to what was awaiting him. Sometimes he still felt that the idea that he could live together with Seb and lead a normal life was beyond imagination. He simply couldn’t believe in it and he was waiting for the next obstacles in their relationships, because that’s what it had been: a series of difficulties. And just when the tides had seemed to subside, they attacked in an even more aggressive wave.

As the plane landed, it was the first time in his career that he didn’t feel the bitter taste of jealousy. Earlier, it had been hard for him to listen to his teammates talk about their plans and their girlfriends or wives waiting for them. He had had his loved ones to look forward to seeing, too, but it had been something different. Now even he had someone to go home to, knowing that his house wouldn’t be empty.

The bus seemed to take them to the training ground in an unbearably slow pace, and once they arrived, Marco rushed to his car, jumping in without saying goodbye to anyone of the squad or the staff. He could have sworn that he heard a few chuckles behind his back, but he didn’t care. There was only one place he wanted to be: in Seb’s arms.

He had tried to keep his boyfriend’s spirit up despite the harassment, and Seb had done everything to ease his concerns but Marco had still known that Seb hadn’t been alright. He just wouldn’t admit it and that made Marco even more worried. He remembered what his boyfriend had been like when he hadn’t expressed his feelings and his anguish and he was afraid that Seb would fall to the same pit again.

He hadn’t stopped his car completely before springing out of it once he had got home. He took the stairs leading to his front door two steps at a time. He practically burst into the house, just to bump straight into Seb. He almost lost his balance and if it wasn’t for his boyfriend who grabbed him, he would have fallen to the floor.

“Whoa, careful there!” Seb laughed as he helped him to his feet again.

“Where are you going?” Marco asked puzzled when he checked out his boyfriend. He looked ready to leave.

“Well, since I got home about five minutes ago and the fridge is basically empty, I thought I would get some food so we won’t starve to death.”

“Forget it, we have more important things to do.” Marco stated firmly.

“Marco!” Seb pouted childishly. “I just drove home and I’m exhausted! Can’t you wait a day with your needs? You are like a teenager.”

“I’m not talking about sex!” Marco snapped. “Although– we might come to that, too.” He smirked.

He grabbed Seb by his wrist and dragged him to the living room, sat him down on the couch and he slumped down next to him, staring at him with a dead serious face. Seb tried to act cool, but he couldn’t hide his bewilderment and looked at Marco expecting an explanation.

“We need to talk.”

“About what?”

“About how you feel.”

“I’ve just told you: I’m tired.”

“I’m not talking about that!” Marco snapped again, out of patience. “How do you feel about those dickheads and what they said?”

Seb burst out laughing. He had always found it amusing when Marco swore and the blonde saw no reason why he had done so. There was nothing strange or out of ordinary about his passionate comments. He should have heard him during matches!

“I’m fine, Marco. Really. You don’t need to worry.”

“Don’t play it down! I won’t let you keep your anguish to yourself.”

“My anguish? Marco, what are you talking about?” Seb exclaimed, clearly annoyed. “You’ve complained how Mats told you how you should feel and now you are doing the same thing to me! I’m over what happened. You should get over it, too!”

“Are you sure about that?” Marco still wasn’t convinced and he looked at his boyfriend with a raised eyebrow.

“I am!” Seb articulated. “I’m not a small child; I don’t need to be looked after.”

“Well, excuse me, I was just trying to show you that I care about you!”

“I do know that you care about me, Marco.” Seb’s voice and his expression finally softened. “But I don’t want you to take on my troubles.”

“It’s not how it works, Seb. We have to keep together.”

“And we do.” Seb smiled, leaning over to kiss Marco.

“What’s that?” The blonde asked, looking over his boyfriend’s shoulder at a Dortmund bag in the corner. It wasn’t his own, he could tell that right away.

“I guess it’s my training clothes, but I haven’t checked it.” Seb shrugged; annoyed that he hadn’t got to touch Marco’s lips with his own.

“Come on, open it!” The midfielder sprung to his feet. He was excited like a little boy under the Christmas tree.

Seb obeyed sullenly. He walked to the bag and pulled out two complete training gears from it. He still didn’t understand why he needed them in the first place, but he couldn’t hide his pride as he noticed the yellow printed ‘SK’ letters on all clothes. Marco walked slowly to him and put his hands on his shoulders as he crouched down next to him.

“Why don’t you try it on?” He whispered into his ears.

Seb rolled his eyes in irritation. He had always hated this, ever since his childhood. His mother had barely managed to persuade him that he had needed new clothes and when she had taken him to a shop, he had chosen the simplest clothes in defiance. And at home had come the dullest part of shopping for Seb: he had had to try the clothes on. The same clothes that he had tried on back in the shop. It was all pointless. And now Marco wanted him to do the same, and yet he couldn’t say no.

He stood up slowly and grabbed the training gear, taking it to their bedroom. Marco didn’t follow him; he strode back to the couch and slumped down on it. It didn’t take Seb much time to change. He wouldn’t have admitted it to Marco, but he was curious how he would look like himself. They had got his size right, that much was sure, but he missed the kind of sense for fashion to be able to judge his looks. Not that he really cared; he was willing to wear anything that he liked and felt comfortable. The Dortmund gear complied with both conditions.

Marco cried out impatiently for him and he rushed down the stairs, stopping in the doorway to the living room. He felt like a model, parading in front of an audience. Okay, that was a very wild exaggeration. Marco measured him slowly, his face strained in many different emotions and Seb couldn’t read it at all.

“How do I look like?”

“Horrendous!” Marco burst out laughing.

“Hey!” Seb exclaimed offended. “Did I criticize you when you came to our concert for the first time? And I’m sure I’m not looking more ridiculous than you were then.”

“Okay, there’s no need to be snappish.” Marco protested. “It’s not bad, it’s just strange. You look so– professional.” He chose his last word with great care.

“Well, you better get used to it. Once I become an analyst, this will be my everyday.” He said smiling, but he couldn’t hide his sour tone. The opportunity he had got meant giving up his previous lifestyle and he was full of doubts about it.

“When will you go back to Cologne?” Marco asked.

“We have lectures next Friday.”

“You’re free until then?”

“It’s not that simple. Klopp wants me to meet the other analysts, so I learn how things work around there.”

“That’s great! We will get to spend some time together, then!”

“Yeah, but Marco, we need to clear some things up, first. On the training ground or on the pitch, we must be professionals, colleagues. There might be some time when I will criticize your performances. I want you to know that it won’t change how I feel about you as a person.”

“It’s okay, Seb, I haven’t expected anything else. This is your big chance and you must be at your best all the time. So once we get to the training ground, we get purely professional, agreed?”

“Yes.” Seb nodded, another sentence written in his eyes: _But will we be able to stick to it?_

 

* * *

 

The next day Marco drove them to training. Seb put on his professional mask the second they passed the gate to the training center, just like they had agreed. When they stopped in the parking lot, he got up hurriedly, because he saw that Marco wanted to steal a kiss from him. He needed to lay down some rules right at the beginning; if the blonde didn’t get used to the way they would have to act from now on, it would only complicate things. Marco seemed sulky, and Seb was brooding over the righteousness of his actions. His heart dictated him to step to the midfielder and kiss away the sadness from his lips, but this time he listened to his brain.

It was hard for him to get used to this duality that ruled him lately. His heart and brain had usually agreed, but since his relationship with Marco had become more serious (and not just in their private time, but also when they were out), they started to yell their own opinions and sometimes the noise in Seb’s head was killing him.

They walked to the main building aloof, and they said goodbye with a single exchange of looks in the main hall. Seb stopped there to follow Marco with his eyes. There was a lump in his throat as he saw the footballer walk slowly with his head hung low. But there was nothing he could do; they had decided to leave their relationship at home, and Seb was determined to stick to it. If Marco had some problems with it, he would have to get used to it and Seb could only hope that the blonde would do sooner rather than later.

He sighed when Marco turned around a corner and got out of his sight. Seb straightened his shoulders and walked to Klopp’s office, but his boyfriend was still on his mind. He needed to get a hold of himself. They would come back to this with Marco when they were at home, but for now they had to focus on their job.

“Ah, Sebastian! You are already here!” Klopp greeted him from behind his desk as he stepped into the coach’s office.

“Reporting for duty.” Seb said soldierly. The trainer looked at him questioningly before bursting out laughing.

“I’ll take you to one of our most experienced analysts. He will help you get a hint about how this job really works, alright? Maybe you could even help him.” Klopp smiled and led him out of the room. “Is everything fine?” The coach asked as they were walking down the corridor.

“Yes, nothing’s wrong.” Seb nodded hurriedly, but Klopp must have noticed his choice of words. The two hadn’t really meant the same.

“Okay, here we are.” He came to a halt before a wooden door. Seb quickly read the doorplate: Gustav Kirchner. Klopp knocked on the door and only opened it after a weak ‘come in’.

Klopp could have said that Gustav Kirchner was one of their most senior analysts, as well. As Seb spotted the old man leaning over his desk, his trembling hands holding a few papers, Seb doubted that he had the strength to stand up. He had lost most of his hair, but he was the kind of person who never gave up his battle against the fate that many men faced. Seb hadn’t understood why combing the remaining locks all over one’s head made the situation better; it only looked ridiculous. But as Kirchner glanced at them, he had to change his opinion. Those stern eyes must have belonged to someone very committed. It even felt like Klopp was Kirchner’s subordinate and not the other way around.

“Good morning, Gustav! Here’s our newest addition to our staff. I would be happy if you could explain him what this job looks like, just like we’ve agreed.”

“Okay, Jürgen, leave the young man to me.” Gustav smiled but it wasn’t reassuring or warm at all. But Klopp turned around immediately so Seb was left alone.

“Hi, my name is–”

“I know who you are. Now sit down, please.” He pointed at a chair in the corner and his voice gave no place for objections. He stood up and walked to Seb, with a pack of files in his hand. He was quite mobile, Seb had to admit. “These are reports that I have written this season. I want you to read through them to get an idea about how a report should look like. Back in my time, we had to go through a long course where we were taught how to prepare such things, but apparently, the times have changed and we now employ boys.” He sighed and returned to his table.

Seb smiled under his nose and grabbed the first folder. He tried to ignore the fact that there were at least a dozen others piled up next to him and started to read it. He was expecting something that he would enjoy, after all, he had been writing analyses like these his whole life. But Gustav Kirchner’s work was boring and dry. Seb took a deep breath and sighed. He looked at the clock: 9:53. He was going to have a very long day.

 

* * *

 

Marco had enjoyed a wonderful morning training. The end of the winter break was coming close and the coaches were making sure that the matches wouldn’t get them by surprise. They had been running and practicing various moves until noon and the players were all tuckered out. Not that Marco minded the fatigue; he could never really get enough of football. He joined Mats and Erik on their way back to the building where a hot shower and the club’s masseurs were waiting for them. They walked past the few reporters lined up next to the pitch despite the cold.

“Marco, can I have a word with you?” A young journalist called after him. Marco spun around to face the man. “It’s really just a small thing.”

Mats looked at Marco questioningly. He hadn’t really spoken with the press ever since that press conference months ago. He made statements only on his or the club’s website and that was his connection with the media. He stood there, taken aback.

“You don’t have to.” Mats mumbled, but Marco shook his head.

“It’s okay.” He stated firmly. It was about time to face the world. He thought that he now had the strength to do so. His captain nodded and he walked away with Erik, but they stopped just a few steps away from Marco, who made his way to the reporter.

“I’m Thomas Riedel, from Bild.” As he told the name of the newspaper he was working for, Marco snorted angrily and was ready to leave. “Don’t worry; I just want to remind you of your promise.”

Marco stopped in his move. He turned back. Were his ears deceiving with him? He had never made any promises to newspapers, let alone to Bild! “What are you talking about?” He snapped.

“Oh, the exclusive interview you promised us upon your coming out. We are worried that you might have forgotten about it.”

And it all came back to Marco suddenly. It hadn’t been he personally, who had made this promise, but his former agent. He hadn’t liked that back then, and now his blood was starting to boil.

“Well, you should definitely forget it.” He said, keeping his calm for the time being. To his surprise, the reporter’s smile didn’t fade.

“Let me put it this way. Your boyfriend is about to make his debut in the world of football and we found some questionable deeds in his past. It does matter how the press will write about him and you wouldn’t want him to start with a handicap, would you?”

Marco couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Was he speaking seriously or was this just a trick? Riedel must have noticed his distress, because his grin widened even more and it made Marco lose his temper. He would have flung his arm, if it wasn’t for Mats, who had sprung to him in record time, grabbing his hand and snarling viciously at the reporter.

“Get. Out. Now!”


	19. Hard Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took me so long to update, but I was sick last week and didn't want to post a half-finished chapter. I hope you understand it and I'm looking forward to hearing your opinion. :-)

Marco didn’t recover from the shock he had gone through for long minutes. Mats kept asking him what the reporter had said, but he just stared in front of himself at nothing in particular. Erik stepped to him, too and put his hands on his shoulder, trying to reassure him, but they couldn’t get him out of his muse. The two defenders finally led him to the main building, away from the prying eyes on the small stand built for the public. Luckily, there weren’t many reporters there at this time, and they knew the ones standing around, they could all be asked to be discreet about what had happened.

“Marco, tell us what’s going on!” Mats asked him impatiently once they sat him down in the training center’s main hall. Erik looked over the captain’s shoulder at the blonde with eyes full of worry and powerlessness written all over his face. Marco didn’t say anything, just shook his head relentlessly. “Okay, then. I’m taking you to Kloppo; maybe he will get things out of you.” Mats nodded.

It was meant more like bait; the tall defender hoped that the mentioning of their coach would scare Marco enough to suddenly blurt out everything. He still remained silent though, and for a second he thought that talking to Klopp would be the best thing to do. But then, he gathered that there was no good option.

“Let’s go!” Mats grabbed Marco’s hand and pulled him up. “Thanks Erik, I’ll take it from here.” He turned to the young brunette once he saw that there would be no resistance from the midfielder.

Erik looked indignant, but he turned around and walked towards the locker room without a word, glancing back a few times. Mats and Marco made their way to their coach’s office. The corridor wasn’t that long, but it felt like an eternity to walk down it for the blonde. With his captain holding his wrist firm, he felt like a convict whom the guards were taking to the execution chamber, only that it wasn’t his life at risk, but his career. Or rather, Seb’s, but he cared about these two equally much.

Mats entered without knocking and dragged Marco behind him. Klopp looked at them questioningly. He wasn’t used to being disturbed by players without any notice, but a single look at Marco’s miserable face was enough to convince him that this was an extraordinary situation that justified such actions. He pointed at the two chairs in front of his desk and they slumped down on them.

“What’s happened?” He asked when the silence between them became unbearable.

“I don’t know.” Mats explained. “We were on our way back to the locker room when a reporter stopped Marco. I warned him not to talk to him, but he said it was alright. I stood off and didn’t hear what they were talking about. But Marco looked very distressed and I sprung to him just in time to stop him from punching that guy.”

Marco closed his eyes while Mats retold the accident, or at least what he knew, and now he felt Klopp’s questioning glance even through his eyelids. His coach wanted answers that he didn’t want to give.

“Marco?” His voice was gentle but it held a hint of restrained anger. Marco couldn’t blame him. Why had he spoken to the press in the first place?

“Where’s Seb?” He mumbled under his nose in a trembling and husky voice. It was enough to make Klopp forget about politeness.

“Don’t play with me, Reus!” He shouted. “I’ve thought we were clear on that! He’s not around and you are talking to _me_ , not to him!”

“It’s not that.” Marco explained so quietly that the other two were barely able to hear him. “But this is about him, mostly.”

“Then we will talk to him, too. But first you tell me what’s going on.” Klopp was determined and Marco started to speak slowly, keeping his eyes down.

“You know, when the news about us two got out, I wanted to keep him safe, so my agent made an agreement with Bild. They would not publish the unedited images with Seb’s face on them and I would give them an exclusive interview. I hadn’t agreed to it, but there was not much we could do. They had a lot to chew on, nonetheless and to be honest, I completely forgot about that stupid promise. Until today, when that reporter reminded me of it.” He took a short pause. “He told me they had something on Seb that we wouldn’t like to go public but they would publish if I didn’t stick to my promise.”

“Did he blackmail you?” Mats looked at him incredulously.

Marco nodded and an awkward silence ruled the room. The blonde shot down his eyes again, staring at his boots, while Mats and Klopp exchanged shocked glances. The wall clock’s ticks sounded like drumbeats. It was their coach who recovered first.

“Get Kruse, he’s at Gustav!” He ordered Mats and the defender sprung up and left hurriedly. Klopp reached for his phone. “Hey, Aki. You should come down here. It’s about Marco.”

Klopp looked at the midfielder, following the two teardrops rolling down his face. The coach sighed and walked beside him, patting his shoulder and handing him a tissue. Klopp knew exactly that Marco was mostly angry at himself for putting the club into another difficult situation. He wanted to tell him to not worry, but it wouldn’t have been true; there was a lot to worry about, at least as long as they didn’t learn what information Bild had.

Watzke was the first one to arrive and Klopp offered him his own seat, which the CEO took gladly. By that time, Marco composed himself but his stare was still blank and emotionless. It didn’t take much longer for Mats to return with Seb and everything was set for their crisis meeting.

“So who’s going to clue me in?” Watzke asked calmly. Klopp was about to explain the situation, but to his surprise, Marco was faster.

“It’s my fault. I screwed things up.” He mumbled. “I talked to a reporter of Bild. He told they would publish something about Seb if I didn’t give them an interview.”

“What?” Seb and Watzke burst out at the same time.

“It turns out that Marco was supposed to give Bild an interview in exchange for not publishing photos of Sebastian after Marco’s outing.” Klopp came to his player’s help, who was about to start crying again.

“Well, then let them do it.” Seb shrugged, talking only to Marco. “You don’t have to talk to them only to protect me. I’ve already been on their front page, so there’s no point in protecting me.”

“No, it’s not that.” Marco shook his head. “They now have something more on you. He said it was something you wouldn’t want to be published.”

Seb looked at him bewildered, but apart from that, his face remained unreadable. Watzke kept his cool, too, he measured the ones present with strict eyes.

“So?” Klopp turned to Seb with a raised eyebrow.

“So what?”

“What kind of information was he talking about?” Klopp was losing his patience and temper.

“I have no idea.”

“Is there anything you didn’t tell us before we employed you?” The coach demanded vehemently.

“Look, I haven’t done anything I’m ashamed of, if that’s what you’re suggesting.”

“For fuck’s sake, Kruse!” Klopp burst out, and it took everyone by surprise. “Do you think this is a joke? We’re not talking only about you, you are now part of this club and if there’s a slightest slip in your past, you should tell us right now!”

“I’m not part of this club, yet. You can kick me out anytime you want to.”

Marco looked at his boyfriend bewildered. What was he doing? The only thing that he could think of was that there was something that Seb wanted to hide, after all. It was strange, because earlier he hadn’t thought it possible; he had hoped that the reporter had been only bluffing, but he wasn’t sure of it anymore.

“Wait, why don’t we just sue the guy for blackmailing?” Mats asked.

“We have no proof besides Marco’s word.” Watzke said dryly. “And considering what has been going on between him and the newspaper, it wouldn’t be so hard to convince the public that he made things up. Anyways, it would only give Bild one more thing to chew on.”

“I’m so sorry.” Marco whined. “If I hadn’t talked to that guy–”

“Then they would still have their cards in their hand, and we wouldn’t know anything about it. It wouldn’t be a better situation at all.” The CEO reassured him.

“I will do that interview.” Marco nodded determined.

“No, you won’t.” Seb snapped at him.

“Seb, I’ve almost ruined the club once, I won’t let it happen again!” Marco retorted.

“You don’t have to.” Seb said and glanced around in the room. “If I understand things correctly, Bild wants to publish something compromising on me. It wouldn’t help if you talked to them or not. An exclusive interview would only make things all the better for them. Their information is of value only as long as I’m an employee of the club. So kick me out or I’ll leave and the problem is solved.”

“Stop that, will you?” Klopp shouted at both of them. “I’ve had enough of this sacrificing yourself for the club’s good thing, alright?” A heavy silence fell on the room.

“Mats, please take Marco to the locker room.” Watzke spoke again in his always professional voice. “Don’t blame yourself, Marco. You couldn’t have known. As for you, Herr Kruse, I’ll ask you to stay.”

Marco shot a worried look at his boyfriend, but there wasn’t much he could do. Mats grabbed his shoulder and pulled him up, leading him out of the room. The three remaining men looked at each other for some seconds, to make sure that the two footballers were out of earshot.

“I understand that maybe you didn’t want to talk to us in front of Marco.” Watzke turned to Seb. “But he’s gone and your contract obliges you to tell us anything that can put a bad light on the club. So please, tell us. I promise you that it will strictly stay between us.”

“I’ve told you: there’s nothing I can think of. Of course, I’m sure they could find something trivial that they can make much of.” Seb snorted.

“Are you sure of it? No missteps in your teenager years? And most importantly: nothing illegal?”

Seb slowly shook his head. He knew that he couldn’t persuade these two. Watzke’s eyes measured him for a long time, but the CEO finally nodded.

“Okay, I’ll believe you. But if you remember anything, inform us immediately. You can go, if you want to.”

Seb didn’t waste any time and left hurriedly. Klopp, who had been standing at the window for the past minutes, walked to his desk and slumped down on a chair opposite to Watzke. He sighed and looked at his boss.

“Do you believe him?”

“No. But I still trust him more than a vulture from Bild.”

“So you think that they might be bluffing?”

“I don’t have the slightest idea.” He was buried in his thoughts. “Jürgen, do you ever feel that we’re getting too old for this job?” He asked and it made both of them smile.

 

* * *

 

Marco had no idea how he had returned to the locker room, but he guessed that it was all Mats’s merit. There was no-one else apart from the two of them and Erik there. Marco kept staring at the wall in front of him, while Mats gave a heads-up to the young defender; although the captain stayed careful not to mention anything that they had agreed to. He didn’t have a hard job, since they haven’t really agreed to anything. Erik listened to him awestruck and cursed at the reporter very vehemently.

“They cannot do that! Herr Watzke must be able to do something!”

“Relax, Erik.” Mats smiled. “He will figure out something, it’s not your job to think about it.”

“I know, but still–” Erik sighed. “I feel like I should help. Can I drive you home, Marco?”

Marco had been listening to them so far, wondering how far they would take their conversation talking about him as if he wasn’t present. Now he looked at the defender. Erik was staring back at him with a worried face, his eyes full of the eagerness of a friend who’s ready to do anything to make his situation better. But before he could say anything, he heard Seb’s dry voice answering for him.

“There’s no need for that, I’ll take him home.” His boyfriend stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame casually, holding his backpack that was packed with something by the look of it. “Whenever you’re ready, Marco, I’m waiting for you outside.”

Marco nodded at him and slowly got up to pack his things. His teammates watched the scene in silence, exchanging a bewildered look. They weren’t used to Marco taking orders from anyone other than his coach. The blonde put his belongings in his bag in record time, he said goodbye to his friends and walked out of the locker room, his head hanging low.

Seb was sitting in his car by the time he got to the parking lot and he was sitting behind the steering wheel. Marco didn’t really like it when the other one drove any of his cars, because Seb wasn’t that obedient when it came to traffic rules, but he was always careful when Marco was sitting next to him, so he had got used to it with time. He threw his bag on the backseat and slumped down in the passenger seat. Seb didn’t even wait for him to fasten his seatbelt to drive off.

A characteristic of Seb that Marco had always found handy was that he simply couldn’t hide when he was angry. No matter what he was doing, his temper could be found in his movements and this time wasn’t different. He yanked the steering wheel like a rally driver would and Marco considered it better to keep quiet. Instead, he stared out of the window and mumbled a silent prayer that they would get home in one piece.

It seemed that somebody up there had been listening to him, because half an hour later he opened the front door to his house silently and they made their way inside. Seb walked straight into his little room that he had set up as his working place in the past days. Marco watched him without a word, even though he was eager to talk. He wanted to discuss what had happened with Seb, the way they had used to, because there was nothing that could compare to those talks. They simply set him on the right track, no matter what was going on in his life.

But this time it seemed that Seb turned his back on him and Marco stood in his hall frozen by his boyfriend’s actions. He stared out of his head for long minutes. Then he went to the living room and turned on the TV, hoping that he could keep himself busy and avoid thinking of the reporter, but it was all false hope. He finally hauled himself off the couch and rushed to his boyfriend.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked accusingly.

“Why would I be mad at you?” Seb asked back, raising an eyebrow.

“Because I’ve talked to that reporter. You haven’t said a word to me ever since.”

“Oh, I thought we’ve said everything in front of Klopp and Watzke.” Seb snapped and there was a strange undertone to his voice contradicting his previous claim.

“What is wrong with you?”

“Nothing.” Seb shrugged. “But I thought I could trust you to warn me before you would drag me in front of our bosses.”

“You think that I deliberately called everyone just to make your first days harder? Because in that case, I can only laugh at you.”

“Then go on, laugh at me, you don’t take me seriously, anyway.” Now Seb was clearly annoyed and Marco couldn’t understand, why.

“What is that supposed to mean?” The midfielder looked at him, his hands on his hips.

“You asked me if I was angry at you for talking to that reporter. My answer is no. You couldn’t have known, just like Watzke said. But the way you treated me in front of Klopp and him and Mats, well, I can’t say that I particularly loved it.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Only that you seem to be more willing to believe Bild than your own boyfriend!” Seb was shouting.

“Well, excuse me, but what was I supposed to do?” Marco snapped back. “You didn’t say anything!”

“Because there’s nothing to say! They can’t have anything on me, can’t you understand? Why is this so hard to accept?”

“There must be something, Seb.” Marco insisted. “He wouldn’t have come up with it if they had nothing.”

“Right, because in that case he would be the first reporter to ever lie, right?” Seb mocked him and Marco didn’t like it at all.

“Okay, so if there’s nothing for you to hide, then how come you haven’t talked to me?”

“First of all, because this is ridiculous and far from being an equal conversation. You’re not even listening to me; you just accuse me over and over again! And secondly, I haven’t talked to you because I have a ton of work to do.” He pointed at a pile of files next to him.

“You know, this all would be much simpler if you just told me what he meant. Is it that bad that you are afraid that I might be mad at you? Because you don’t have to worry about it.”

At that remark, Seb sprung up and stuffed the papers into his backpack. Marco watched the scene puzzled, as his boyfriend stopped in front of him.

“Where are you going?”

“To a place where my word means more than a reporter’s.” Seb smiled at him. “Call me when you change your mind. Love you.”

He gave Marco a peck and left before the midfielder could react anything.

 

* * *

 

Marcel was used to being Marco’s last refuge in any hardship after Seb, but after their vacation in Sydney he hadn’t expected that the blonde would need him so soon. He couldn’t believe his ears when Marco called him in the well-known voice full of despair and pain. The phone call triggered an instant reaction in him, as he vowed to kill Seb for the dozenth time. It ended the same way every single time: he rushed to Marco’s place to support his friend, who then persuaded him that it wasn’t even Seb’s fault. Of course, nothing ever could be Seb’s fault, at least according to Marco.

And then, Seb always wondered why he didn’t love him particularly. Marcel wouldn’t have been so surprised, but of course, Seb never saw in what state he left Marco every single time when the situation grew uncomfortable for him. Marcel never stopped hoping that the other man would change and just for once take on the responsibility, but that moment never seemed to come.

“Let me guess: Seb.” He said instead of a greeting when Marco opened the door in front of him. The midfielder looked truly troubled and Marcel couldn’t help but wonder how it could be that he didn’t have any wrinkles on his face from all that worrying.

“I’m sorry that you have to go through so much trouble because of me…” Marco drawled. “But I can’t discuss this with anyone else.”

“Sure thing.” Marcel nodded as he stepped inside and shook hands with the blonde. “Why don’t you tell me everything?”

They sat down in the living room and Marco started his lengthy explanation of the situation. He told Marcel about his training and his strange interaction with the reporter, their meeting in the training’s center, and also his lack of talking with his boyfriend. Marcel listened to him patiently, not making any remarks. The tricky thing about listening to Marco was that the footballer always talked from his own point of view and didn’t recoil from a few adjustments to the story just to make him look completely right.

“And are you sure there _is_ something, in the first place?” Marcel asked back when Marco was finished.

“I don’t know.” He sighed. “I mean– would you be surprised if there was?”

“I can’t say that!” Marcel burst out laughing. “But Seb Kruse is the only person in this world who can surprise me anytime.”

“Do you think I overreacted?” Marco looked at him concerned.

“Well, you certainly didn’t make his job easier.” Marcel shrugged. “There’s something fishy about it and I’d say that your worries are grounded, I’m sure that reporter wasn’t just bluffing. But maybe Seb didn’t tell you because he doesn’t know about it. I mean, look at it from his perspective! Let’s be honest, his moral reasoning has a few flaws. There might be something that he doesn’t think incorrect at all, but in Bild’s hands could be a powerful weapon against him and you.”

“So what should I do?” Marco cried out. “I don’t want to make that interview but I don’t want them to hurt Seb.”

“If I were you, I would call your agent first. He knows more about this agreement and maybe he has something on Bild.”

“And what about Seb?”

“Stop worrying about him!” Marcel snapped. “He’s a grown-up man; he should fight his own battles. He’s just had enough of you for some time, but I’m sure that he will crawl back to you in a day and you will be very eager to have him back. That’s how you work.”

“What would I do without you?” Marco smiled.

“I don’t know. And I have no idea why I’m still supporting you in this relationship. I wonder how come you never get tired of his shit.”

“He always fights for me.” Marco pointed out, grabbing his phone.

“Hurray! But don’t forget the tiny fact that he has to fight for you because he hurts you in the first place.”

Marco signaled with his index finger that he would answer him, but first he dialed his former agent and put the phone down on the table. Marcel looked at him questioningly; after all, he couldn’t have expected him to give him advice regarding his career! It had always been Seb’s privilege.

“Hello?” Came a raspy voice from the phone’s speakers.

“Hi, Dirk. Marco here. Marco Reus.”

“Hey, Marco!” Marcel understood immediately that there was unfinished business between the two of them.

“Um, I sorry to trouble you, but the promise you made to Bild backfired on me a little bit and I was wondering if I could do anything about it.”

“What do you mean by that? I thought it lost its actuality long ago.”

“Yes, I’ve thought the same, but they are now using it against me. They want me to give the interview; otherwise they would start a campaign against Seb.”

“Your boyfriend?”

“Yes. It would help a lot if you could take a look into the matter.” Marco utilized his transparent voice he saved for special moments he wanted someone to do a favor for him.

“I don’t know. I’m not your representative anymore and the deal was very straightforward.”

“Please, Dirk. I know I wasn’t fair to you and firing you was a huge mistake. If anyone can make something about them, it’s you.”

“Does this mean that you want me back as your agent?” Marcel noticed that the question caught Marco unprepared.

“Y-yes. I’m really sorry about my behavior, but you must understand that it was a very hard time for me.”

“Okay, Marco, there’s no need to apologize. I’ll call Bild and see what I can do. But don’t have high hopes. I’ll call you back and we’ll agree on the next step, alright?”

“Sure. And thank you, Dirk.” Marco said, but the only answer he got was the silence from the other end of the line.

“So now you have an agent?” Marcel leaned back while Marco locked his phone.

“It seems so.” The blonde nodded.

“And what are you going to do about Seb?”

“Now that’s a much harder question.” Marco looked at him very seriously.

 

* * *

 

“Thanks for letting me stay here, once again, David.”

“Sure thing, Seb. You’re always welcome at my place.”

Seb liked it at his best friend’s. David lived in a small apartment that was packed with books, DVDs and vinyl. All in all, it didn’t give the impression of a home where you could bring home any girls, but Seb knew that David didn’t mind that. He was the kind of man who stuck to chasing girls and not catching them. Maybe that was the reason he gave useful advice in relationships; he hadn’t had any serious relationships his whole life, so he still remained romantic in many ways. So when Seb had had a little argument with Marco, there was no question where he would go, most specifically because he had sold his house when he moved in to Marco’s.

“Well, that makes you the only person on Earth who’s happy to see me.” Seb shrugged.

“I’m sensing that you’ve had an argument and you’re signaling me to ask you about it, but I’m not sure about that.” David retorted mockingly.

Seb burst out laughing. Marco could have had Marcel on his side all the time, but he could never equal to David. Seb never liked to talk about his private life but David managed to lead their conversation so easily that Seb didn’t even notice it. That was their little compromise; David helped him, but Seb never had to ask for it particularly, his dignity wouldn’t have allowed that.

“Okay, so this is a bit complicated.” He started. “Marco spoke to a Bild reporter today, I don’t see any reason why he had to do it, but it’s not important. The point is that they blackmail him to get an interview. They say that they have some information on me that I don’t want to go public. And then, Marco huddled together the whole leadership of the club to discuss this news. Earlier, we would have come to a decision privately.”

“And you’re sulking because you’re not the only one giving him advice anymore?” David looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“That’s not my problem. I’m glad that he’s talking to others about his troubles, as well. But he didn’t want to believe me that there’s nothing in it. He kept asking me what I was trying to hide.”

“And there’s nothing, you say?” David shot him a knowing look.

“Well, you know me, is there anything I should be ashamed of?” Seb asked back.

“You wouldn’t be ashamed of it, but you don’t know how these PR things work.”

“Right, because you’re an expert on them…”

“I’ll pretend I haven’t noticed the sarcasm.” David sighed. “Let’s see, Bild can make a big deal out of anything. What about a drunken night?”

“Come on, I was in a rock band, of course I got drunk. And I don’t think many would care.” Seb snorted.

“Okay, how about when we stole your father’s car?”

“We just borrowed it and it was almost ten years ago. Plus, unless you talked to a reporter they can’t know about it.” He sighed. “No, it has to be something bigger. Something that puts the club and Marco in bad light.”

“Oh, now you think there _is_ something?”

“Gosh, you made me worry!” Seb snapped. “I mean, there might be…”

“And if you are willing to admit it to me, why haven’t you told so to Marco?” David kept his calm, like always.

“Because I want to protect him.”

“Okay, you need to take me through your reasoning, because I don’t follow you there.”

“The truth is that I’m sure there a lot of things in my past they can use against me. And I’m afraid of the abundance of little incidents.”

“So you’re trying to pretend that there’s nothing to hide rather than tell him everything there is to hide? That’s fucked up, Seb!”

“I know, but I’m not ashamed of anything that I’ve done. But you are right, they might be uncomfortable to Marco and I don’t want him to look like someone who knew about it and approved of it, in case it was something really big. And that’s the only way to protect him.”

“You’re crazy!” David burst out. “First of all, you don’t have to protect him all the time! I’m sure he would agree with me on that. This martyr image doesn’t suit you.”

“But what other choice do I have?” Seb exclaimed. “Am I supposed to tell him about every mishap in my life?”

“Not necessarily–” Seb saw that David had an idea, and it rarely had a promise of something good. “We can rule out a few things.”

“Like what?”

“Whatever they have on you, it must be something recent. Otherwise they would have come up with it a lot earlier. I mean, Marco was supposed to give them that interview long ago.”

“There might be something to it.” Seb nodded, already going back in time to find that single accident that was now causing him so much trouble. He didn’t need to search for long. “Oh, shit!”

“You’ve got it?” David looked at him surprised.

“I have a pretty good guess. Yes, all the pieces fit each other this way…” He nodded.


	20. Rumors and Doubts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am with the next chapter. You still have time to read it before the Dortmund match, let's all cheer for the lads! Anyways, this chapter is a bit longer than the others, but I hope you don't mind that. Enjoy reading it and please share your thoughts.  
> I want to thank Blue Night once again. You help me a lot and you're always there for me when I have questions or doubts. Thank you for your support, I hope that my updates are a proper way to thank you.

Marco drummed impatiently on the tabletop while waiting for his agent’s call. At the same time, Marcel looked as if he was bored to death. The blonde couldn’t understand his friend: didn’t he see the seriousness of this situation? But at the same time, he was glad that Marcel kept his cool. It was enough that he was trembling with fear; he really needed someone to be strong next to him. Ideally, it would be Seb, but his boyfriend was involved directly and it was no wonder that he wasn’t in the mood of playing the strong guy for Marco.

Marcel finally reached for the remote control and turned on the TV, but a stern look from Marco persuaded him to turn it off right away. He sighed, because the silence between them was unbearable.

“Sitting here and doing nothing won’t do you any good.” Marcel pointed out.

“I’m trying to think!” Marco snapped.

“Oh yeah, about what?”

“About what they might have on Seb.”

“Marco, I’ve told you not to worry about him.” Marcel sighed irritated. “If I were you, I’d be more preoccupied with the effect this story might have on your career.”

“How can you be like this?” Marco looked at him bewildered. “How could I think about my career when Seb’s is at stake? Did he worry about his life when I needed him? No. I’ll call Aki and explain his behavior to him.”

He nodded determined and reached for his phone, but Marcel was faster and he grabbed it before him. “No. I won’t let you do that!”

He stared into each other’s eyes and if they could have killed with their looks, they would have been both dead by now. Marco leaned over the coffee table, his face only a few centimeters away from Marcel’s.

“Give me my phone.” He hissed.

“No.” Marcel stated firmly. “Only if you promise that first you will secure your own position first.”

“Give me the fucking phone!” Marco shouted.

Marcel surely was going to object, but he had no choice, because Marco’s cell started to ring. He broke the eye contact with Marco to check the caller’s identity. He sighed relieved when he saw that it was his friend’s agent. He handed the phone over.

“Put it on speaker!”

Marco grabbed the device and practically tore it out of his hand. He also checked the display and answered the call hurriedly.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Marco, I’ve talked to Bild’s editors and I’m afraid I don’t have any good news.” Marcel noticed that Marco’s eyes lost their sparkle immediately. “They reason that Herr Kruse is a public figure now and they can write about him without any legal problems. They asked me if you were ready to give the interview; I naturally said no. They will publish the article the day after tomorrow.”

“Call them and tell them I’ll answer their questions. They can’t publish anything about Seb!” Marco exclaimed, much to the disapproval of Marcel. He had never been more disappointed in his friend.

“No, Marco, I won’t do that.” His agent kept calm and his voice was relaxed. “I feel sorry for your boyfriend, but I simply can’t do what you ask me to do.”

“What?” Marco stammered. He clearly couldn’t believe his ears.

“My job is to do everything that is the best for your career. I tried to explain you this right at the beginning, but you wouldn’t listen to me back then, either. You must think of your career, first. Let me tell you what would happen if you said yes to that interview. You would go there and they wouldn’t rest until they got an answer from you that they could use against you. Plus, they would publish the article nonetheless. I can’t let that happen!”

“Okay.” Marco sighed, defeat in his voice. “Thanks for your help, Dirk.”

“I’m only doing my job. But listen, Marco! You should talk to him and maybe you can figure out what they meant. It would be huge help. And if I were him, I’d get a lawyer, just in case…”

“Right, thanks once again.” Marco said and he put down his phone.

Marcel looked at him pitiful. He knew that deep in his heart, Marco had hoped that this whole matter would solve itself easily. Now he was sitting on his couch, completely devastated, gotten rid of all hope. It hurt him to see the blonde this way, but at the same time, he was an expert on getting Marco better.

“I’m so sorry, Marco.” He started but the other one stopped him with a waving of his hand.

“Don’t even try… I know you must be hurrahing that Seb finally is in trouble.” Marco mumbled.

“What? Marco, you are wrong if you think I’m enjoying his situation. I don’t have such a low opinion of him.”

“Sure.” He snorted.

“Whatever, think what you want, then!” Marcel snapped. “The truth still is that I care for Seb. I just don’t want you to put him ahead of you.”

“He would do it for me.” Marco retorted.

“No offense, but he hadn’t had much to lose, apart from you.”

Marco looked back at him incredulously and horrified. His face turned paler than before and for a second, Marcel wondered if he was going to throw up. His lips started to tremble and he managed to utter a weak ‘what’. It wasn’t a sign of his bewilderment; rather he gave an opportunity for Marcel to change his opinion. But he wasn’t going to do so.

“Listen, I really mean no bad. But you are really nearly everything that has remained for Seb. And he’s been mad for you ever since you two met; no one can doubt that. He loves you and I know it. But you must let him deal with this situation in his own way. Trust him. If you save his ass all the time, he will never learn to fight his own battles. He never fought yours for you, he only stood by you.”

Marco looked at him silently for almost a minute, pondering on his words. Marcel was waiting for his answer on pins and needles. He had tried to be a counterbalance to Seb in the blonde’s life and sometimes he was afraid that Marco would choose his boyfriend over him if there came a time when he needed to make a choice. That’s why he had avoided such a situation until now, but he couldn’t withhold his true opinion any longer. Why deny it? He was jealous of Seb. He could only watch as this punk walked into Marco’s life and stole his heart at the first moment.

“You are right.” Marco finally nodded, his voice not louder than a whisper. Marcel could have sworn that his heart missed a dozen beats in his relief. “But what am I supposed to do? Sit here and do nothing?”

“For now, yes.” Marcel stood up and walked to his friend, placing a hand on the midfielder’s shoulder and staring deep into his eyes. “He will ask for your help.” He tried to reassure him. “Be there for him then, but not sooner.”

 

* * *

 

Seb paced up and down in the room, going through his options mentally. David followed him with his eyes. He was used to such scenes; his friend usually acted like a madman when he was thinking. Ever since Seb had come up with what might be the source of his troubles, he hadn’t said a word, and it had happened a good fifteen minutes earlier. David wondered whether it was because Seb was looking for other possible options or because that one explanation was so horrible that even he had no idea what to do about it.

“I need to make a call.” Seb finally stated firmly.

“I hope that you’re calling Marco.” David interjected.

“No, why would I?”

Seb looked at him and there was real ignorance in his face. David asked himself for the thousandth time how could Seb maintain any kind of relationship at all. He wanted to say something, but Seb was already dialing the number and his call was answered very quickly.

“Hi Theo, Seb here.”  He started casually, the signs of his distress gone from his voice. “Listen, I’d need you to give me a description of someone.– Helmut. You know, the guy from the course.– Yes, _that_ one. Would you say that he’s stupid enough to try and get back at me by talking to the press?– That’s not important for now. Yes or no?– There was more.– Thanks, I thought the same. Bye!”

“I’m going to kill someone!” Seb shouted. He could never hide his anger, but this time he was furious and for a moment even David felt scared of him.

“As long as it’s not me.” He held his hands high in defense. “But maybe you could tell me who are Theo and Helmut?”

“Later.” Seb snapped. “Right now, I need your car.”

“Maybe you need it, but you won’t get it.” David said simply and Seb looked at him as if he was his number one enemy. “I’ll gladly drive you wherever you’d like to go, but I won’t give you the keys. I don’t want you to risk your life and more importantly, my car.”

“Oh, come on!” Seb snapped again, but he saw that any objection was pointless. “Okay.” He finally gave in and David got up lazily.

“Where are we going?” He asked as he strode to the hall and started to put on his boots.

“Hopefully only to BVB’s training ground.” Seb shrugged in his usual secretive manner. “I’ll find out for sure in the car.”

“Okay, one more question: where is BVB’s training ground?” David grabbed his car keys and opened the door for his friend who looked back at him incredulously. “What, I’m not a football man…”

“That’s why you should have let me drive.”

“Do you want my help or not?” David retorted annoyed.

“I’ll navigate you.” Seb sighed.

 

It turned out that they needed to go no further than the training complex. On their way, Seb talked to someone who David guessed must have been a very important man at the club. He couldn’t help it, but he envied his friend. He had had some hard times in his life, but finally it seemed that he was on the right track. But then, something like this happens. It was unfair, to say the least.

They stopped in front of the huge gate and the guard walked to them. He signaled David to pull down the window and he obeyed. The guard looked inside and checked them out cagily. Seb leaned over the gear and showed him his pass to what he nodded.

“And the gentleman?”

“He’s my chauffeur.”

“Would I find him in the database?”

“I’d be surprised.” Seb said. “There was no time to register him.”

“Alright, guys.” The guard finally sighed after he checked David out once more. “Take care.” He walked back to his booth and opened the gate for them.

“You seem to get on well with him.” David noted.

“Being friends with the gatekeeper is the most important thing, wherever you go.” Seb answered jokingly and he pointed to the right. “That way.”

They drove to the parking lot that was nearly empty.

“Um, you should stay here.” Seb bit his lips. He clearly didn’t like that his friend couldn’t go with him.

“It’s okay, I’ll wait for you.”

“Thanks.” Seb smiled and opened the door, ready to get out.

“Seb.” David said and the raven-haired turned around. “Good luck!” Seb smiled back at him gratefully. He shot the door behind him and slowly started off towards the main building. David watched him until he finally disappeared behind the huge doors.

 

* * *

 

Hans-Joachim Watzke leaned back in his office chair exhausted. He certainly didn’t like the situation he was in. With Marco, it had been different. He was ready to do anything necessary for his players; he treated them as if they were his own children. But there was no connection between him and Sebastian. He didn’t even like the man, at all. If it wasn’t for Jürgen’s very specific wish, they wouldn’t have employed him. But the coach was convinced by his skills and Watzke was no fool; if Jürgen Klopp wanted someone, he was worth it.

He had readied the club’s lawyers and they were prepared for every possibility, but he was still glad that Sebastian came up with an idea what could be behind this blackmailing. He still had the suspicion that Kruse wasn’t completely honest to them; he must have known what the reporter had meant from the beginning. He probably just needed time to come to his common sense.

He still wandered though why hadn’t Sebastian shared his suspicion with him over the phone. What could be so important that it could be discussed only in person? He thought of the worst possibilities, when there was finally a knock on his door and Kruse entered his office. He tried to look calm, but Watzke’s experienced eyes immediately noticed his distress and respect towards his superior.

“Where’s Marco?” Watzke started their conversation.

“At home, I presume.” The young coach shrugged, stopping in front of the CEO, but not sitting down until Watzke offered him a seat.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought that you were living together.”

“We are, but it’s complicated.”

“I see.” Watzke nodded. He didn’t pry into his players’ lives. “Can I offer you something to drink?”

“No, thanks. We should get down to business.” The other one took a deep breath before continuing. “I think I know what Bild might have learned about me. It has to do with the coaching course. I wasn’t particularly nice to everybody there. But I had my reasons. One evening we went out to a pub with the others and the conversation got out of hand a little bit, with one guy insulting Marco. Obviously, I couldn’t leave it that way so I kind of threatened him.” He shot down his eyes as if he wasn’t proud of his actions.

“That might be explained.”

“Yeah, but that’s not the end of the story.” He drawled and he hesitated whether he should continue. Watzke shot him an encouraging glance but it didn’t help a bit, since his gesture was unnoticeable behind his strictness. “The next day he pulled me aside in the hotel and I punched him.”

“Did he provoke you?”

“We could say, I guess.”

“Damn it, Kruse! Don’t speak in riddles with me!” He burst out.

“He told me that I was too weak to do anything about him and he explained it with my sexual orientation. I don’t know if this counts as a provocation.” Watzke understood why Sebastian hadn’t wanted to answer him directly. He felt a bit embarrassed for pushing the other one so much. He had no idea how he should handle the situation, to be honest.

“Thank you for sharing this with me.” Watzke finally mumbled. “But why haven’t you told about it earlier when you returned from the course? You should have reported it.”

“I don’t want to be looked at as a victim. And I would appreciate if this stayed between us, or at least among those who need to know it at all cost.”

“I respect that.” Watzke nodded. “But if there is no other way to avoid a bigger scandal, we will have to take legal actions and I’m afraid that you won’t have any other choice, then. But we still don’t know for sure what this is all about. Are you sure there’s nothing more?”

“Nothing came to my mind. I know that I’ve lost your trust and it’s hard to believe me now–”

“I believe you, Sebastian.” Watzke said reassuringly. “I’ve talked to Marco’s agent and he found out that they will publish the information in two days. Our lawyers will take a look into the matter and will take steps if needed, but if you’d like your lawyer to have access, I can grant you that.”

“I don’t have a lawyer.” Seb shook his head. “Should I?”

“It’s not necessary, but– it’s better to be safe than sorry. If you’d like, I can give you the number of a few advocates. And you can also have a few days off.”

“Thanks for the numbers, but I don’t want to stay at home. I think the best would be if I worked. It would give me something to keep me busy.”

“Whatever works for you.” Watzke nodded.

“Is there anything else I should do?” Seb sighed.

“I’m afraid there’s not much for us to do. Marco won’t talk to them, and even if he did, we all agree that they wouldn’t stop. So we must wait now and hope for the best. Go home and have some rest.”

Seb thanked him and they shook hands. Watzke watched as he slowly walked to the door. He stopped there as if he was thinking about something. He turned around eventually and he looked a completely different person. There was gratitude in his eyes and he looked utterly relieved.

“I’m sorry I cause this much trouble to this club.”

“It’s alright.” Watzke smiled. “You couldn’t have known and I don’t blame you for what you did. In your place, I would have protected my loved ones, too.”

Seb mumbled a simple thanks and he left the office with straightened shoulders. Watzke stared in front of himself for long moments. He had gotten a glimpse of what had persuaded Jürgen. This young man, who must have lived through so much and had a fragile personality, could still hold his head high and look forward. Watzke had always appreciated the fighting spirit and Sebastian Kruse had a good amount of it.

 

* * *

 

Seb returned from his meeting with Watzke completely defeated and David thought it would be wiser if he didn’t make any inquiries. He trusted his friend and he knew that Seb would tell him everything when he was ready. They were silent all their way and Seb was so busy with his own thoughts that he hadn’t realized that David wasn’t driving him to his own flat. He only looked up when the car stopped and he immediately attacked David.

“Why the fuck are we here?” He shouted.

“Because there is a guy in there who must be worried about you like hell.” David remained calm. “Now, you either go inside on your own or I will pull you in by your hair. And you know I would do that.”

“You don’t understand this.” Seb shook his head. “I don’t want to trouble Marco. He’s had to deal with so much and he’s finally over it. I don’t want to throw him into this shit.”

“And you think that right now he feels better?” David accused him. “It might sound unbelievable to you, but there are people who care for others and Marco cares for you very much. He needs to feel that you trust him and that you’re ready to share with him not just the highs, but the lows as well.”

“I can’t.” Seb buried his face in his hands.

“Why not? Because then you would admit that you need help? That you’re vulnerable and there are things that hurt you? That wouldn’t make you a bad person, they would make you a person and that’s all! Believe me, Marco is ready to be there for you, no matter what. I don’t know what this is all about, but I’m sure that whatever it is, you couldn’t have done anything so bad that he would leave you because of it. Go in and talk to him. If he throws you out, I’ll take the blame and you can move in to me.”

“I lied to him. Well, I didn’t lie, but I haven’t told him the complete truth.”

“And you want him to find out in the newspapers? I simply don’t get you, Seb. You are more afraid of your boyfriend than Bild? Because in that case, you are an idiot!” David burst out and he gave Seb some time for his words to sink in. “And now, you have a minute to walk through that door.” He pointed to Marco’s house’s entrance. “After that, I’ll proceed to the dragging you part.”

Seb almost ran out of time, but he eventually opened the door next to him and he got out with shaky legs. He heard David reassure him once more before he slammed the door behind him and started off towards Marco’s house. _Their_ house, because he felt it was his home, too. He stopped in front of the door. He was not sure whether he should knock or just walk inside. In the end, he grabbed his keys and opened the door.

As he entered, he found himself face to face with Marcel, who was about to leave. They looked at each other for long seconds, but Seb was more interested in Marco, whom he saw over Marcel’s shoulder. The footballer’s eyes turned concerned when he noticed his boyfriend’s state. Seb hadn’t looked in a mirror, but he didn’t need to to know how horribly he must have looked.

“Wow, that must be a new record for you, I haven’t expected you to be back so soon.” Marcel noted mockingly.

“I need to talk to you.” Seb ignored Marcel and he spoke straight to Marco, as if they were alone.

“I should be going, then.” Marcel said and he turned to Marco. “Don’t forget what I told you.” And with that, he was gone.

“Do I want to sit down?” Marco asked concerned after Marcel shot the door behind himself.

“Probably.” Seb nodded and he managed a faint smile.

They went to the living room, but Seb had no clue where he had found the strength to go that far. His legs were useless and he wasn’t sure what was driving him further. But he finally reached an armchair and he slumped down in it. Marco sat down on the leather couch and looked at him expectantly. Seb wanted to blurt it all out and get over with this conversation, but his tongue simply refused to obey his brain’s order. He opened his mouth at least a dozen times, but he couldn’t utter a sound. It rarely happened to him that he was out of words, but this time, he didn’t know how to start and what to say.

“Seb?” Marco asked. His voice was so weak that he couldn’t have managed more, either. Seb looked up at him and when he saw the pain in the blonde’s eyes, he decided that it was time to speak and keep things simple.

“I haven’t told you everything about the coaching course. The pub thing wasn’t the only incident.”

“What? Did someone hurt you?” Marco gasped in horror.

“No, quite the opposite. I punched someone.” Seb was red with shame. “I really shouldn’t have. And I’m afraid he talked to Bild. They might have found out a few other slips from my youth. Add this together and possibly color the facts, and there you have it– the article of the year.” He shrugged.

“Was this the same guy than the one in the pub?” Marco asked, his voice lacking any emotions.

“Yes.” It was nothing more than a whisper. “I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” Marco stood up and walked to him, taking his head into his hands. “Because you stood up for me? I can’t be mad at you for that.”

“But I had promised you to be honest and grow up, and I failed you!” Tears started to flow from Seb’s eyes.

“Honestly, Seb, I would have been disappointed if you _had_ changed. I love you for the person you are. I just wish you finally got it and trusted me with everything. We’ve been through so much, we can deal with anything. But for that, we must share everything with each other.”

“Thank you. I swear I will tell you everything from now on. I just need to get through this article somehow.”

“Not you. We.” Marco corrected him and a huge smile appeared on Seb’s face. “Have you told Aki?”

“I’m coming from him.” Seb nodded.

“That’s good.” Marco sighed in relief, but he still couldn’t hide his disappointment over the fact that he wasn’t the first one to learn about this. “What did he say?”

“That they could handle this. If Bild wants to push it far, they will make legal actions and make the whole story public, but I hope we can avoid that. I’d rather come off as an aggressive psychopath than a victim of harassment.”

“Why?” Marco looked at him shocked.

“I didn’t want to seem weak in front of you; do you think I could take the public’s pity?”

“It’s good to know that you are your usual self again.” Marco snorted. “But one thing is clear, you are stupid.”

“I know. And I’m grateful that you forgave me. Maybe I didn’t deserve it; I’ve played with your trust too many times.”

“And I hope this was the last time.” Marco sighed. “Because whenever you do this, I’m full of doubts. I don’t question your love; I know that you love me. But I’m not sure about our future. Are we going anywhere or are we just standing in one place?”

“I’d like to think that we are making progress.” Seb said scared of the sudden change in his boyfriend’s voice. “I wouldn’t have opened up this much a month ago.”

“I know, my love.” Marco smiled. “And I’m proud of you.” He gave Seb a quick peck. “I’ll make us some dinner, alright?”

 

But no matter how delicious the diner was, Seb couldn’t swallow a single bit and it made Marco even more worried. His boyfriend had had the best appetite during the hardest times and this could only mean that the article troubled him much more than he had shown. They went to bed early, but neither of them could sleep. They lay next to each other, holding hands and they stared at the ceiling with empty eyes.

Marco had no idea how he finally fell asleep, but his sleep was troubled and he was startled awake by retching sounds. His eyes went wide open in a second and he reached involuntarily for Seb, but the raven haired wasn’t in their bed. Marco quickly got up and he rushed to the bathroom to find his boyfriend squatting next to the toilet.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, I just missed the toilet bowl and I thought I’d hug it.” Seb said dryly.

“Is this because of the article?” Marco asked concerned, crouching down next to the other one. Seb nodded. “Why didn’t you tell me that it worries you this much? We can share the stress.”

“How? It’s my battle, Marco. I appreciate your support and I need it, but I have to face this on my own. Just like it was with you.”

“You are right.” Marco sighed, defeated. “But I want you to know that I’m here for you, no matter what happens.” He flung his arm around Seb’s waist and pulled him closer, planting a kiss on his forehead. Seb moaned contently at the touch and he snuggled to his body, seeking refuge from the troubles. Marco silently swore to do anything to be that refuge.

 

* * *

 

Mario sat down to have his breakfast. He was going to have a very hard day. They trained carefully on days before their matches, so no one would get injured, but Pep’s tactical instructions were very exhausting. But at least he didn’t have an annoying girlfriend anymore to discharge his batteries. Dumping Ann-Kathrin had been a load off his mind and he had savored every moment of living alone ever since.

He turned on his phone to check his social media accounts. He logged in and his hand with the spoon stopped midway to his mouth. For a moment he even forgot to chew when he saw the trends. What was Seb’s name doing on practically every page? He suddenly had a very bad feeling and he clicked on a link with trembling fingers. It led to Bild’s webpage and it never meant good.

And there he was: Seb in Dortmund’s full training gear. Mario couldn’t help but chuckle over the raven-haired’s look. But his smile froze on his face when he read the caption.

_REUS-BOYFRIEND ON THE SIDELINES – Who is he and does he deserve a place at BVB?_

Mario was disgusted at the words that were meant to cause a sensation. He scrolled lower to read the whole article even if he knew he shouldn’t have. He wasn’t surprised. It was the usual yellow journalism he was used to.

The reporter – although Mario had trouble thinking of him that way – gave a quick background of Seb’s and Marco’s relationship first. And then, he moved on and analyzed Seb’s life. It was nothing similar to anything Mario had ever seen. Seb must have angered Bild very much to deserve such an unworthy and scornful treatment. There was a paragraph about his unsuccessful music career and then they mentioned his sacking from his first workplace at a sport magazine.

_‘For most of his life, Kruse has been unemployed and that’s why Marco Reus’s standing came in handy for him. With his boyfriend being a football star, he got a chance at BVB and he used it to start his coaching career.’_

Mario wanted to shove his phone against the wall. How could they even suspect that the club would employ anyone just because Marco told them to? He kept reading and the worst part was only coming. Citing a classmate at the coaching course, they depicted Seb as a choleric man, who was ready to use his fists any time and had a bad influence on anyone. It seemed only logical – at least to the reporter – to question Seb’s fitness.

_‘But it seems that Kruse isn’t so hostile to everyone. According to various accounts, he has got very close with his roommate in the hotel during the course.’_

He couldn’t take it any longer. He closed his browser and slammed his phone to the tabletop, only to pick it up again a second later, searching for Marco’s number among his contacts. He dialed his friend, but his call went straight to the voice-mail. He found it strange. Dortmund were playing a day later than Bayern, so maybe Kloppo had inserted an early morning training for today? It seemed unlikely. Marco had probably learned from his earlier experiences and turned off his phone to keep away sympathizing acquaintances. Mario eventually sent a short reassuring message to Seb and left for training.

 

Pep hadn’t disappointed them; the training had been tiring, indeed. When they had finished, every part of Mario’s body had ached and he had been looking forward to the masseurs’ gentle treatment. But as he had been lying on the mattress, he had wished the massage was over already. The masseurs had talked about Bild’s article and they had clearly found it easier to believe the reporter. Mario hadn’t had the strength to fight them, but he had managed to shut them up at least. He had left the masseurs’ room with his faith lost. It was incredible how a vulture could ruin someone’s life without having a pang of conscience. He hadn’t found tranquility in the locker room, either.

“Hey, Mario, do you have a few minutes for me?” Bastian had walked to him.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Um, not really here. I was wondering if you could come over for dinner. I really need to talk to you about serious business.” His words had scared Mario to death.

“What is it? Have I done something wrong?” He had panted.

“No, calm down, it’s not about you. So can I count on you?” Bastian had smiled but in his case it hadn’t been anything solacing.

Mario had agreed to the invitation and now he was standing in front of Bastian’s door. He was nervous like hell. He had the feeling that Bastian wanting to talk to him meant no good. He mustered his courage and rang the doorbell.

The older man opened the door after a few seconds and invited him in. He led him to his living room. It was the first time Mario was visiting Bastian’s flat and he was impressed by his taste. Every piece of furniture seemed to be in the perfect place and the room didn’t look packed at all.

“I ordered take-out, I hope it’s okay.”

“Yes.” Mario said, startled.

“Look, I see you’re worried, so I’ll get down to business.” Bastian smiled. He was as uneasy as the young brunette. “I wanted to talk to you as the national team’s captain.”

“Oh, my.” Mario gasped, ready to faint. If his teammate had wanted to calm him down, he had done a horrible job.

“Relax. I’ve talked to Jogi and he wants to call up Marco for the team again.”

“Wow, that’s really good news.” Mario’s face finally lit up.

“Yeah, but I wanted to talk to you. I’m not sure how we should treat Marco, you know, because of his sexuality.” Bastian stammered like a small child and Mario found it amusing. “And you’re the one who knows him best, at least among those, whom I know.”

“I see.” Mario started. “Well, I don’t think you should think about anything special. Marco wants to be treated like anyone else. Don’t point out to him that he’s gay and just be cool about it. The perfect scenario would be if nothing changed from the way we talked to him earlier.”

“Thanks.” Bastian sighed. “I’ll make sure that all the guys know this. And there’s one more thing… And this time, I’m asking you as a private person. I’ve read Bild’s article today. Is it true what they wrote about Marco’s boyfriend? You know him, too, right?”

“Don’t you believe a word those shitheads write!” Mario exclaimed. “They just wanted to get all the attention!”

“And what is he doing at BVB, then?”

“Seb is an amazing expert on football. Sometimes I have the feeling that he knows more about tactics than Pep!” Mario laughed.

“I doubt that.” Bastian smiled, but his face became serious again. “And what about the suggested affair at the coaching course? They did everything but say directly that he had slept with someone there.”

“That’s a vile slander!” Mario shouted. “Seb would never cheat on Marco, and I’m sure that Marco would agree with me.” The only problem was that at that moment, Marco didn’t agree with him at all.


	21. The Green-Eyed Monster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the new chapter. Enjoy reading it and if you liked it, please share your opinion with us. Or if you didn't like it, let me know what I should change. Your feedback is very important to me. :-)

Marco was finishing his breakfast when Seb stumbled into the kitchen. His hair was ruffled and he still looked half-asleep. He wasn’t a good early riser and in his case, even nine in the morning meant early.

“Nothing left for me?” He asked as he walked to Marco and put a good morning kiss on his lips.

The footballer realized for the dozenth time how domestic they were. Persuading Seb to move in with him had been the best decision ever. He hadn’t expected that their living together would be so perfect, but despite the occasional rows, it felt like living in paradise to the blonde. Knowing that his boyfriend was always within arm’s reach and he could embrace and kiss him whenever he wanted to was a liberating feeling and he wouldn’t trade it for anything. And he was sure that the hard times would vanish soon and they would have the perfect life. The last hurdle had to be Bild’s article.

“What is this thing doing here?” Seb noticed the newspaper lying on the table.

“I thought you’d like to read it…” Marco shrugged. “You were interested in the article about me.”

“Yeah, I think I’ve changed my mind now that I’m in the other position.” Seb chuckled and got out a few eggs from the fridge. “When are we leaving for work?”

“In half an hour.” Marco checked the time. “Do you think you can manage that?”

“Sure thing.” Seb nodded but he put the eggs back and grabbed a block of cheese instead to take a huge bite of it the next moment. Well, not everything was perfect about their house life.

“What’s your program for today?” Marco inquired.

“I’m meeting Watzke at ten and then I need to write a report. But I’ll join you for the afternoon training. You’ll get the opposition instructions and Klopp wants me to listen to it.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“No need to mock me, alright?” Seb sighed. “They could have put a better picture of me on the front page.” He pointed at the newspaper and Marco couldn’t withhold his laughter. Seb was still trying to play the strong man, but the blonde knew very well that he was anxious like hell. And to prove his point, Seb wrapped the remainder of his breakfast (not sufficiently at all) and started off to the bathroom. “I’ll go get ready.”

Marco nodded and waited until his boyfriend left the kitchen. He hadn’t wanted to admit it to Seb, but he had bought the newspaper because _he_ was curious about the article. He made sure that Seb was gone and he opened it. But before he could start reading, he heard Seb opening the bathroom door and he quickly put the paper back on the table.

“Hey, I thought we could go out for a dinner tonight. Tomorrow you’ll leave for the match and I’d like to spend some time with you.” He suggested, his words almost unintelligible because he had decided that he could speak and clean his teeth at the same.

“Yeah, sure.” Marco muttered in uneasiness. This wasn’t going to work. He needed some time alone to read the whole article because he had noticed how long it was. He wondered how Bild had come to know so much about the raven haired man.

When Seb left again, Marco got up and sneaked to his sport bag, hiding the newspaper there. He would have the opportunity to read it in the break between their two trainings.

In the end, Seb got ready in only fifteen minutes and they drove off before they had planned. During the ride, Marco rested his hand on Seb’s thigh to let the younger one feel his support and love. Seb didn’t say anything, but Marco could see that he was grateful for the touch. He remembered how much he had longed for physical contact during the hardest time and Seb was going through something similar now.

When they arrived at the training center, the parking lot was already half full with the players’ cars. They drove next to Mats’s car and just as they stopped, the defender stepped out. It was unusual of him, he usually went straight to the locker room and tried to chat with as many teammates as possible and Marco wondered why he hadn’t done so this morning.

“Good morning!” The tall man greeted them when they climbed out of Marco’s car. “How are you doing today?”

“Fine.” They answered at the same time and Marco’s heart missed a beat when Seb turned to him and grinned at him as if this was the most wonderful thing in the world.

“I wanted to speak to you, Seb.” Mats turned serious all of a sudden.

“Is there a problem?” Seb asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No, of course not. I just wanted to reassure you that we don’t believe anything Bild said about you.”

“Wow, is it so bad?” Seb asked unimpressed.

“Wait, you haven’t read it yet?” Mats looked at them stunned and they both shook their heads. “But then, you’re right. There’s no point in it, just the usual lies they always come up with.”

There was something about Mats’s tone that troubled Marco. He wasn’t speaking like usually, and it almost seemed as if he was trying to deter them from reading the article. The blonde immediately realized that it _was_ bad indeed. If Mats was afraid that if they read it, it would cause some trouble, there was reason to be worried.

“Can we go inside?” Mats spoke again and he didn’t wait for an answer.

He turned to the building and Marco and Seb followed him. Marco’s situation had only gotten worse. So far he had sensed only Seb’s nervousness, but his captain looked tense, too and he felt horribly for not knowing what was going on. He should have read that article before Seb had woken up. But he couldn’t do anything about it, only look forward to the end of the morning training and wish for some time alone so he could catch up to the news. He would never have thought that he would long for some information from Bild.

When they finally entered the hall, he sent another reassuring glance at Seb, although he would have liked to embrace him and give him a kiss before sending him to their boss. He knew how harsh Watzke could be when it came to the club’s stature and Mats’s words had made him worried that the CEO would go too hard on Seb. But they had promised each other and Klopp that they would keep their relationship at home and Marco had to respect it and they parted heavy-heartedly.

 

* * *

 

Seb walked towards Watzke’s office with a lump in his throat. He should have read the article beforehand and he knew it. He would have known what to expect from the CEO and his legs now wouldn’t be like jelly. He simply wanted to be done with this whole scandal. And to do that, he had to face Watzke. He stopped in front of the older man’s door and took a few deep breaths. He hadn’t been so nervous his entire life. Maybe only when he had first sat down to talk to Marco. He had been a fan of him – and why deny it – he had had a crush on him for long. So when he had seen him in that pub, he had known he had to take this chance. It had been unbelievable: to talk to a football star as if they were equal. But Marco was different, he never considered himself a star and if he started to think more of himself, Seb was sure to stop him.

“Come in.” Watzke’s impassive voice answered his knocking. Seb opened the door and nodded at the CEO who pointed at a chair in front of his desk. “Ah, Sebastian! I need to finish an e-mail first. If you’re thirsty, there’s coffee in the machine, help yourself.”

“No, thanks.” Seb mumbled and sat down. He shot down his look and waited impatiently. It felt like hours had passed until Watzke finally leaned back in his chair and started to speak.

“So, the situation is not as bad as we have expected. You were right about the main topic of the article; they have talked to one of your classmates. We were ready for it and already made a statement.”

“That’s good.” Seb nodded and Watzke must have noticed his ignorance.

“Wait, you haven’t read the article?”

“No.” He shook his head slowly.

“I see. So, the point is that they want to depict you as an aggressive man, who is only here because Marco has persuaded us to employ you.”

“I’ve heard worse.” Seb sighed and Watzke chuckled at his comment.

“There are a few other personal issues, but I won’t discuss them with you. It’s up to you whether you sue them for them or not. I advise you not to. They were very careful not to make any direct statements and my experience says that they could defend themselves in front of the judge.”

“Okay. So what is the next thing for me?”

“Nothing. You keep on working like nothing has happened. The statement is the only thing we did about this matter and we only have to wait until the people forget about it. It’s not a big scandal; they won’t achieve anything with it. They only wanted to use it as a way to get an interview from Marco; I don’t think they will push forward now. You’re already through the worst.” He smiled reassuringly and Seb was grateful for his efforts. If only he knew that the worst was only waiting for him.

 

* * *

 

This had been the longest training Marco had ever gone through. Not that they had worked more than usually, but his teammates’ worried glances had distressed him completely. By the time Kloppo had ended the session, Marco’s heart was in his throat. The coach hadn’t seemed to be occupied with the article about Seb and he hadn’t mentioned it to Marco. He had been glad for it; he couldn’t have talked about it. It must have been much worse than what they had expected.

After a quick shower and a full lunch, he sat down in the training ground’s huge common room. He wanted to wait for the perfect opportunity when he would have the privacy he needed, but it just wouldn’t come. He gave up eventually and he took a nap, although he couldn’t relax completely.

“How are you doing, Marco?” Erik sat down next to him. He looked sincerely concerned. He had been close to Marco since the training camp and the midfielder was glad for his support.

“Fine, thanks.” He smiled at the young defender.

“Is everything alright between you and Seb?” Erik asked sheepishly, as if he wasn’t sure if he could intrude on the other one’s privacy this way.

“Yeah, why?” Marco nodded, already afraid of the answer.

“Oh, I just thought that because of the article– and then you looked really pissed off during training and I– never mind, forget it.” He sighed finally.

“Okay, I’ve had enough of this!” Marco exclaimed and he rushed to the locker room to get the newspaper that he had been hiding the whole day. He didn’t return to the common room, he sat down on the bench and started reading.

And every single word thrust a dagger in his heart. He felt that Seb had been playing with him, that nothing that Marco had thought about him was true. He started to doubt everything about him and he even questioned his love. He was so furious that he didn’t even notice Kevin entering the locker room.

“Back-checking Seb?” He grinned but then he realized Marco’s upset state. “Are you alright?”

“Yes. Um, how much time do we have before training starts?”

“About fifteen minutes.” Kevin shrugged.

Marco thanked him and he got up and rushed out of the room. He strode down the narrow corridor, heading to the coaches’ offices. A few coached were already gathering in the hall, ready for the afternoon training. Seb wasn’t among them, so Marco carried on, a few perplexed looks following him.

Marco didn’t even slow down when he came to the door leading to Seb’s office. He didn’t think at all, he was driven completely by fury. He exploded into the room, almost bumping into Seb who was ready to leave. The small room was poorly equipped: the furniture consisted of a desk, a chair and a TV set. The raven haired looked back at him stunned by Marco’s upset face.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong! You’ve been lying to me, that’s wrong!” Marco yelled. “And the worst thing is that I don’t even know why I’m surprised. You have never been completely honest with me.”

“Okay, calm down, Marco. What is going on?”

“You should tell me!” Marco continued, not calmer at all. “What happened at the training course? And what is going on between you and your roommate?”

“You’ve read the article, right?” The penny finally dropped to Seb. “Marco, you can’t believe them!” He sighed.

“And why should I believe you? Have you proved to me that I should trust your words?”

“Yes.” Seb snapped. “For starters, I’ve never left you. Even in the deepest shit, I stood by you. I did for you everything and I was ready to do much more if it was needed. And you are ridiculous if you don’t see that. I’d be glad to continue this conversation, but we have training and I don’t want to be late. Maybe you should concentrate on it, too, instead of reading some rubbish.”

“Yes, you have training. Thanks to me.”

“Excuse me?” Seb turned around, not believing what he had just heard.

“It was _me_ , who got you this job. And now that you got what you wanted, you are ready to move on. And I see that you already have found your next prey. Tell me, what can he offer you that I can’t?”

“You’re not talking about Theo, are you? There’s nothing going on between us. I can call him, if you want him to reassure you.”

“Oh, so he’s just Theo to you!” Marco noted mockingly. “And you’ve got his phone number! I bet he’s on speed dial!”

“Stop it, Marco, because you’re making a fool of yourself. I call Marcel by his first name and he’s on speed dial. Do you think I’m fucking him, too?”

“No, because he sees what a horrible person you are! I should have listened to him. He’s tried to open my eyes and show me that you’ve been using me all the time! You’d be nothing without me, Sebastian Kruse! Nothing!”

“That’s enough!” Klopp roared from behind Marco and the blonde turned around startled. “I thought I had made myself clear about your relationship. I thought you could behave like grownups, but I see that I was wrong. Reus, why aren’t you in your training kit? The training starts in five minutes. I don’t want you to be late. If anything is more important than getting ready for our next game, maybe I should drop you from the lineup, right?”

“No.” Marco mumbled defeated. “I’ll get going.” He kept his promise, but not before he sent another hostile glance at Seb.

“What was this about?” Klopp asked after Marco was out of earshot.

“I wish I knew. I guess he’s read the article and he didn’t take it well.” Seb shrugged, putting on his BVB coat.

“Well, I can understand that.”

“Did they really write that I’ve cheated on him?” Seb inquired incredulously.

“Wait, you haven’t read it?” Klopp asked back and Seb shook his head. The manager looked at his watch. “Okay, I think we can go without you for fifteen minutes. Read it now and talk to Marco. _After_ training.”

 

* * *

 

Seb understood everything now. Mats’s worry in the morning, Watzke’s unwillingness to go into details about the article and most importantly, Marco’s outburst. He still thought that his boyfriend overreacted. It wasn’t even an overreaction. Marco had acted stupidly. He hadn’t given Seb an opportunity to explain everything and dispel his worries. But he wasn’t so sure if he could succeed.

He had feared this moment for a long time. He had known that he couldn’t play with Marco’s feelings forever. Because in the end, that’s what he had done. It wasn’t intentional of course, he would have never wanted to put the blonde’s trust to a test but he had ended up doing it, nonetheless. He needed to stop with it. Marco’s words hurt him a lot; the footballer had put him in a deep pit and he barely saw the light.

Marco hadn’t let much doubt about his opinion on their relationship. He thought it was over, he had believed Bild’s words without a question. And Seb couldn’t really blame him. He hadn’t been the dream boyfriend and he had constantly made Marco question their romance. But still, he should have known better than to think that Seb had cheated on him. And with Theo? Seb had to laugh. They had spent together a week, and sure, they had become friends, but there was nothing more between them. But it still hadn’t stopped Bild from writing about them as if they were the new perfect couple. And they had done a great job, Seb had to admit, even if he had no idea how they had known about their visits to pubs or their long night talks in the hotel.

They had put it in a way that suggested that they fell for each other right from the start. Watzke had been right, they hadn’t stated anything, but it would take a fool to not notice their theory. And a fool to believe them.

Marco definitely fitted the latter category. He never looked at Seb during the whole training and in the breaks he made sure to stay away from him as far as possible, finding his companion in Erik. They seemed to get along very well, maybe too well for Seb’s liking.

“Hey, don’t worry about them.” Mats stepped next to him, reading his thoughts. “They hang out together all the time. They were practically inseparable during lunch break.”

“Were they?” Seb asked back, storing the information in his mind.

“Yeah.” Mats shrugged. He clearly didn’t think it so important. “But listen, what’s going on between you two? I don’t mean to pry into your private life, but it seems that you had a row.”

“We had. About an hour ago.”

“Don’t you tell me that he thinks that you– you know?”

“That’s what he thinks.” Seb nodded.

“God, this can’t be true! I mean, you didn’t, right?”

“Of course not!” Seb snapped.

“Okay, I believe you. Do you want me to talk to Marco?”

“No, thanks.” Seb sighed. “I’ll figure out a way to calm him down.”

The rest of the training was focused on explaining to the players how they should eliminate the threat the opposing team posed. Seb listened to the coaches eagerly, memorizing every word. Marco’s accusation that he had gotten the job only because of him still echoed in his ears and he wanted to prove his boyfriend wrong.

After they were done, Klopp asked him to collect the balls (he was the ‘new guy’, after all) and so he wouldn’t be bored, Klopp instructed Erik to help him. They put the balls into a huge bag, the tension easily noticeable between them. The last time they had talked was during the international break when Seb had confronted Erik with his crush on Marco. Not a pleasant memory for neither of them.

“Um, where should I put these?” Seb asked.

“In the inventory room. I’ll show you.” Erik added after he saw Seb’s clueless face.

They walked back to the building in complete silence and the brunette led him to a small chamber. For Seb’s part, their daily contact could have been over, but Erik spoke up all of a sudden.

“What’s wrong between you and Marco?”

“As if you didn’t know.” Seb snorted.

“I don’t know. I’ve asked Marco if he had read the article but he only ran away. But of course, there’s no wonder he’s mad at you. He has done so many things for you and you–”

“What are you up to?” Seb had had enough of it. He grabbed Erik’s hand and he shoved him against the wall, pinning him to it with his elbow. “You saw your chance? Are you trying to make him hate me and get between us? It won’t work!”

“You’re mad!” Erik said totally freaked out. He tried to keep his face impassive, but his eyes gave him away. Seb could see that the young defender had given this a thought.

“You listen to me! The last time I spoke to you I told you what to expect if you tried your luck with Marco. He’s _mine_ and you cannot change it, understood?” He snarled.

“Let me go!” Erik shook off his arm. He started off towards the door and turned back in the doorway. “But based on what he has told me, I wouldn’t be sure that he’s yours any longer.”

 

* * *

 

“Congratulations, you just gave Bild another front page news!” Marcel snapped instead of a greeting as he entered Marco’s house. After he had read the article he had expected his best friend to call him and comfort him in this newest hard time. He was getting enough of it, quite honestly. These two seemed to torture each other more than love each other and they didn’t even notice it. They only made each other’s lives harder. And Marcel’s life, too.

“Hey, I’m feeling horrible. You are supposed to solace me and cheer me up.” Marco groused.

“Sorry, not this time. I see that you’re miserable but it’s your own fault.”

“Mine?” Marco was shocked. He hadn’t expected this from Marcel.

“Yeah. Why the hell did you leave Seb at the training ground?” His voice was accusing.

“I was done with training and he was still working.” Marco said dryly. “But how do you know about it?”

“Bild.” Marcel answered. “Problems in BVB-romance? Reus leaves training without his boyfriend.”

“What?” Marco snapped disbelievingly.

“Yeah, you really gave them what they were looking for. Now you only need to tell me that you believed anything what they had written and you’ve actually had a row with Seb to make me question your sanity.”

“Well–” Marco drawled.

“You’re not serious, right? Gosh, Marco, this man loves you more than he loves himself – which is saying something in Seb’s case – and you believe the first person that says he has cheated on you?”

“Okay, I admit that it’s hard to imagine him being with someone else.” Marco sighed. “But that’s not the point. He has used me and you saw it all the time. I feel like a fool!”

“That’s because you are a fool!” Marcel grabbed his shoulders. “I never told you that Seb was using you to get a job. He’s manipulating you, that’s beyond doubt, but only in your relationship! He would never take advantage of your position.”

“Now you’re suddenly his advocate?” Marco snorted.

“No, I just haven’t lost my mind. I’m having enough of your constant rows and making-ups. You should finally decide if you’re thinking this relationship seriously with him or not. Because if you do, you should stop getting upset about every trivial thing.”

“Wow, Marcel, what has happened to you? Now you’re telling me that I should ask for Seb’s hand?”

“Are you deliberately misinterpreting me today or have you gone out of your mind completely?” He pulled Marco in front of a mirror so suddenly that the footballer couldn’t do anything about it. “Look at you! You’ve gone through the biggest shit a man can imagine and all that thanks to Seb! Without him you would be a wreck, a long forgotten footballer. If you need more reassurance that he cares about you and he wants to live his life by your side, you’re impossible to please. I’m not telling you to get married to him. But it’s about time to realize how much you mean to him and keep that in mind before you could jump into stupid conclusions. And instead of troubling me with your ridiculous whining, you should support your boyfriend when he needs you the most. He’s in deep shit already; he doesn’t need you to give him another thing to worry about.”

Marco had been listening to Marcel stunned and now he was left speechless. Marcel hadn’t been very supportive of their relationship, right until Seb had called him to Sydney. Marco knew that something had happened there that had changed Marcel’s mind. But he had had no idea that his friend would stand up for Seb this much. His every single word was true and Marco knew it. He had just needed someone to point it out.

“Thanks.” He sighed relieved, already reaching for his phone. He didn’t even try to call Seb; his boyfriend wouldn’t have picked it up and he had every right to do so.

“Hey, David. Is Seb at your place?” He asked as soon as his call was answered.

“Wait, I need to check.” David said hurriedly and Marco heard him covering his phone’s mic with his hand, deliberately not too tight to stop the blonde from hearing his next words. “Hey, Seb! Marco’s asking if you’re here. I don’t know what the current status of your relationship is, what should I tell him?” Marco didn’t hear Seb’s answer but he didn’t even need it. “No, he’s not here.” David said dryly.

“Thanks, David. I owe you one.” Marco snickered.

“Oh, you owe me more than one.” David chuckled. “Hurry up!”

 

* * *

 

Marco had some trouble finding David’s flat, but he eventually succeeded. He rarely visited this neighborhood of the city; it was below his level, as some would have put it. But Marco couldn’t have cared less. If this was the place he could get his boyfriend back, once and for all, he could only love it. Before he reached the apartment building’s entrance, it was flung open and David stepped out with a trash bag in his hands.

“I’ve taken out the trash, but I’ll forget to go back. I don’t want to be there when he sees you and he realizes that I’ve told you about him. You’re in deep trouble now, Marco. Good luck!”

“Thanks. Which floor is it?” Marco asked sheepishly, really worried because of David’s words.

“Third.” The young man said and he rushed away.

He was very strange, Marco mused as he started to climb the stairs. But then, all of Seb’s friends were strange; David was the most normal and Marco got along with him. They weren’t best buddies, but they could at least maintain a conversation that didn’t last longer than a few minutes, but it had always been enough for their purposes.

Marco stopped before the door of David’s flat. He reached for the door handle with trembling fingers and he stepped inside the home. It looked more like a storehouse, but that was Marco’s smallest problem right now. He walked in the direction where he expected the living room to be and stopped in the doorway.

Seb was sitting on a couch with his back to him, his shoulders slumped. He looked completely defeated and Marco wanted to cry, but he forced himself to save this picture in his mind and remember what he could do to Seb.

“Hello.” He said weakly and his boyfriend turned around to look at him.

His eyes were lifeless, the joy of life gone from them. He tried to remain impassive, but Marco could still see that he wasn’t happy to see him. And why should he? Marco had been stupid and cruel and he wouldn’t have liked to talk to himself, either.

“Babe, I’m so sorry for what happened.” He started off towards Seb. His boyfriend remained unimpressed; he still looked back at him with blank eyes. “I wasn’t thinking and charged at you for something you haven’t done. I know you would never cheat on me.” He sat down next to Seb, waiting for any kind of reaction. It came only after a very long minute.

“Did you talk to Klopp and Watzke? Did you get me this job to make me feel better about my life? Do you really think that I don’t deserve it? And be honest with me!” He said painfully slowly, every word finding Marco’s heart and hitting it hard. He didn’t like to face his actions.

“Of course not.” He dared to place a hand on Seb’s shoulder. The younger one didn’t pull away and Marco took it as a good sign. “You deserve this job and you will prove it to everyone.”

“But you wouldn’t have believed Bild if you hadn’t thought something similar on your own.” Seb finally looked at him and Marco saw tears rolling down his face. It was an unusual view; he barely saw Seb crying, but it made him even more beautiful even if he hated seeing him like this.

“That is not true, Seb. I’m proud of you. It’s just that it is hard for me to accept that you are living your dreams now, too. But I want to be next to you and support you.”

“You haven’t really proved it today.” Seb snorted and he stood up, walking away to the window.

“I know.” Marco sighed. “Can you forgive me?”

“I can.” Seb mumbled but he still didn’t look at Marco. “Because I had this coming. I’ve been playing with your feelings for too long. I see why it is hard for you to trust me and I want to change that.” He turned around suddenly and looked the midfielder straight in the eyes. “I don’t want to lose you, Marco. You’re the best thing that has happened in my life. And no job offer will change that.”

“I know, babe.” Marco whispered, tears in his eyes. He slowly walked to Seb and embraced him. Seb leaned into the touch and buried his head in Marco’s chest. Marco felt relieved as Seb eventually let go and began to sob like a helpless child, but every desperate sob cut right into the blonde’s heart and he had a hard time not to cry himself. This time, he had to be the one who was strong and the rock Seb needed right now.Marco wanted so desperately to comfort him, say something – anything to make it better somehow, but everything that came to his mind felt like empty drivel. “Hush, I’m here and I will never let you go.” He murmured, rubbing Seb’s back and rocking him gently.

After a few minutes, Seb seemed to calm down and he looked up at Marco with red eyes. “Do you think it’s too late for the dinner I’ve promised you?” Seb’s voice was still weak, but there was hope in it.


	22. Hugs and Deceits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After the hardships of the last few chapters I think we deserve a bit fluff with a little twist in the end. Please tell me if you liked it. :-)

Marco didn’t let go of Seb. He held him really tight while Seb silently sobbed on his chest. They didn’t say anything for long minutes and when Marco finally spoke up, he only suggested that they sat on the couch. His boyfriend agreed and they slumped down next to each other. The blonde took the younger one in his arms again immediately and Seb snuggled closer to him gratefully. He seemed to have stopped crying, but his eyes were still swollen and red.

“Don’t worry, love, we will get through this.” Marco reassured him and he pulled his body even closer. They were now pressed firmly against each other, leaving no space for even a thin layer of paper, their heat radiating against the other one’s skin. Marco’s words hung in the air and he felt as if he had to add one more word with great emphasis. “Together.”

“Promise me that you will never leave me.” Seb begged, brokenly; Marco had never heard him speaking in a weaker voice. He sounded desperate and wrung out. Marco’s heart ached with the younger one’s heartbreaking sorrow. Seb normally showed only his tough and brave side, his mocking way to look at things and sometimes Marco simply forgot how young Seb actually was. Reality had hit Seb very hard and no one had prepared him for it and Marco scolded himself once again for making his boyfriend’s life so much harder than it already was right now.

“I will never leave you, Seb. I love you with all my heart.” Marco said. “I would be a fool if I let go of such a wonderful man. You are the perfect boyfriend, Seb. I want you to know that. And I want you to feel it, too.”

Marco tilted his head down and at the same time, Seb looked up at him. They caught each other’s glances for a second and their eyes said a million words in a single moment. Marco devoured the view; the next thing he did was closing his eyes and pressing their lips together.

As soon as he felt Seb with his lips, he forgot about his surroundings and the world ceased to exist for him. The only thing that mattered to him was his boyfriend, kissing him back eagerly, his tongue slipping out of his mouth almost shyly, inviting Marco for a dance of passion. That’s how it should be, Marco would have thought if he had still been capable of thinking. His blood was almost boiling and his heart was bumping in his chest. It was incredible how this little contact – this passionate, but somewhat innocent kiss with Seb could send his body into a state of crazy need, lust– and love.

“Could you guys please not make out on my couch? I’m using it, you know. I don't want to be reminded of what you did there every time I sit down on it.” David grumbled leaning against the doorframe.

Marco felt Seb smiling under him, but neither of them pushed the other one away in surprise. Instead, Seb gave the blonde a final wistful peck before pulling away painfully slowly. They turned to David, who ironically was the unwanted person in his own home.

“Oh, the traitor is back.” Seb said but there was no hostility in his voice. He slowly got up and walked to his best friend.

“What exactly did I betray? Our friendship by telling Marco about you?” David asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes.” Seb nodded. There was something in his movements that made Marco question whether he was being serious or just acting. “And I couldn’t be more grateful for that.” Seb finally smiled and swung an arm around David, hugging him suddenly.

“Um, I know that you enjoy hugging other guys, but I’m not really comfortable with it.” David mumbled theatrically, but he returned the embrace with obvious relief and all three of them burst out laughing.

Seb stepped back. “Sorry. But I mean it, David. You are a great friend and if you ever need anything from me, count on me.”

“Keep that thought in mind for the near future.” David chuckled as if he knew something that would probably make Seb reconsider his previous statement.

“Okay, we won’t trouble you anymore.” Seb smiled and he went to the hall.

Marco slowly got up and followed his boyfriend. He mouthed another ‘thank you’ to David and smiled at him, sincerely and honestly. As soon as they left the flat, Marco grabbed Seb’s hand and they walked down the stairs silently. When they stepped outside of the street, Marco could feel a few eyes looking at them, but he was already used to it. There was no one in Dortmund who didn’t know who they were and they had kind of become the city’s favorite couple. People seemed to support them and if they were some who disapproved of their relationship, they were tactful enough to remain silent.

“So where are we going now?” Marco asked while they were getting in his car. “You pick a place, I’ll pay.”

“We are going to La Reve. And I’ve invited you, don’t forget.” Seb said firmly as he sat down in the passenger seat.

“No way! That place costs a fortune and I won’t let you–”

“I earn now, remember? Plus, I’ve already made a reservation in the morning. For my name.” He added, leaving no place for objections.

They took them only five minutes to drive there. La Reve was the fanciest restaurant in Dortmund, and on his journeys, Marco hadn’t found a more exclusive place. It was overrated even to his standards. Sure, he visited it a few times with his teammates, because the food was delicious and they could afford it, but it wasn’t a place Marco would have liked to go to every evening. Once every second month was more than enough.

“Welcome to La Reve. How can I help you?” The receptionist greeted them with a cheesy smile.

“Good evening. We’ve got a reservation. Kruse.” Seb answered unimpressed.

“Let me check. Yes, this way.” She said professionally but Marco could see in her eyes that if it wasn’t for him, Seb would have been thrown out without further ado. But seeing the footballer had apparently changed her mind and she ushered them to their table.

“So can you tell me what are we doing here? You hate this restaurant.” Marco inquired as soon as they were left alone.

“And I still do. But this is the only place where we can have a dinner without fans running to you and asking for photos and autographs.”

“Good point.” Marco smiled and he opened the menu.

“What can I get you, misters?” The waiter suddenly stepped to them.

“You’ve got any pizza?” Seb asked and the waiter looked back at him as if he had just asked him to murder a man.

“No, we don’t. If you could take a look at your menu…”

“I will have what Marco chooses, then.” Seb smirked.

“And that will be?” The waiter turned to Marco, waiting for redemption from him.

“Steak.” Marco said. The waiter nodded and took away their menus and hurried away.

“I wish you came with us for the away game.” Marco sighed, placing his hand on Seb’s.

“I can’t.” His look was as tender as it could get.

“Why not? I’m sure I can persuade Kloppo to take you with us.”

“First of all, I don’t want that. Maybe Bild thinks so, but I would never misuse your position. I want to go through the same process as every coach and I don’t want special treatment. And secondly I can’t, because we have a meeting in the coaching course at the weekend.”

“What? You haven’t told me about it!”

“Because they only told me today. Apparently they want to teach us how to make analysis in real time while watching a match. Very exciting.” Seb said pretty bored.

“Are you sure that it’s a good idea? I mean you could join another class. With the others being there, they don’t seem to like you and it might be–”

“I can’t hide from the world, Marco.” Seb smiled. “It will be fine. Just two days, what could go wrong?”

“So you will watch our match, too?”

“Probably.” Seb nodded. Dortmund were playing on Saturday, an intense match against Hoffenheim; there was no way they would miss it.

“I have to be good then, so you can be proud of me.” Marco smiled.

“I’ll always be proud of you.” Seb leaned over the table and kissed his boyfriend.

“I will win the match for you, don’t worry.” Marco said, but Seb was quick to stop him.

“Win it for the team and not me.”

“Wow, that sounded very professional!” Marco burst out laughing.

“Yes, I’ve learned it on the course.”

“And what else did you learn?” Marco asked curiously. They had barely talked about the course, which was a huge thing in Seb’s life. Now he understood why the younger one had been so careful avoiding this topic, but hopefully there were no other secrets left and they could speak freely.

And they didn’t stop talking during the course of their dinner. Marco couldn’t remember the last time they had had such a long and exhaustive conversation. In the end, Seb even admitted that he actually enjoyed the coaching course. Marco was happy for him; he looked relieved and full of life, nothing like the man he had been a few hours ago. His smile didn’t fade even when they got the bill and considering La Reve’s prices he would have had a reason for that. Marco suggested paying for the dinner once more, but Seb was adamant and the midfielder didn’t want to risk a row.

“Shall we take a walk?” Marco asked when they stepped out in the street.

“No.” Seb shook his head and he smiled at the blonde. “I want to be at home and with you.”

They didn’t waste much time; they got into Marco’s car and drove away through the dark city with its colorful lights shining through the night, blinking friendly at them like cheerful eyes. Marco wanted to hold Seb tight in his arms, caress him, kiss him and never let go of him. He had done a horrible thing and he wanted to make it up to him.

They arrived at their house fifteen minutes later but it still seemed too long for Marco. He couldn’t hold himself back. He needed to feel Seb next to him. In the afternoon, he had realized how close he had been to losing him forever and all he wanted to do was making sure that this would never happen again. He could barely wait until they were finally inside; as soon as the door was shut behind them, he embraced Seb and crashed their lips together.

It was a feeling he would never get enough of. The light touch of Seb’s lips sent him into unimaginable dimensions. His nostrils were filled with Seb’s scent and it was the sweetest odor to Marco. He adored Seb’s stubble scratching his skin and his breath tickling Marco’s face.

Their lips kept moving restlessly. They were like two needy teenagers who wanted to put all their love into that one special kiss. Their tongues fought playfully for dominance that neither of them wanted really. They were equal in their relationship; they were equal in their kisses. Feeling Seb so close to him was the best thing that Marco could imagine. He had been a complete fool to have doubts about this wonderful man and he saw it now with painful clearance.

“Seb, I’m so sorry for what I did.” He breathed when they had parted, both gasping for air. “I wasn’t thinking and I jumped at you for nothing. I should have trusted you more and I can’t forgive myself for letting you down.”

“Marco.” Seb sighed, beaming at his boyfriend. “I know all that, you don’t have to keep repeating it. You don’t have to persuade me, I agree with you completely.”

“What?” Marco dropped his jaw stunned. He hadn’t expected this kind of answer. It wasn’t unusual for Seb to say things like this, so Marco really shouldn’t have been surprised. But still, Seb could have exerted himself just a bit more after Marco had given voice of his affection and devotion. “That’s all you’ve got to say to me?”

“What else do you expect from me?” Seb smirked, the damn bastard. He was playing with Marco again and he was enjoying it very much. Not, that Marco had any complaints about that. Quite the opposite, Marco was utterly grateful and happy to have _his_ Seb back; the Seb who challenged and annoyed, but also pleased him like no one else had ever done before.

“I don’t know. Maybe you could tell me that you love me or that you’ve forgiven me?” Marco played along. His hands wondered lower on Seb’s flanks and stilled on his hips, ready to pull the raven haired closer any time.

“You know, it was much better when your lips were busy kissing me instead of talking. When you start talking you tend to–”

The rest of his sentence was swallowed down by Marco’s greedy lips. He knew he couldn’t win a battle of words against Seb so he had decided to call in his tongue that darted out from his mouth. He didn’t even wait for Seb to grant him passage; he pushed his way through the younger one’s teeth, reaching deep into the sweet cavern of his mouth.

Seb’s tongue was waiting for him and he tried to dance with Marco, but the blonde pushed it away. Now _he_ was in control. Seb didn’t mind it at all. He saw that there was no need for him so he retreated and let Marco do whatever he wanted to do with him. And Marco wanted to be everywhere in Seb’s mouth. He counted his teeth with his tongue and he licked over every square millimeter of Seb’s palate. To be honest, he didn’t care about the other one’s wishes right now because the kiss felt damn good to him and his lust stopped him from thinking further than that. But he still noted satisfied when Seb uttered a strangled moan.

“Wow, this was incredible.” He panted after Marco had eventually broken the contact. He didn’t want it to end.

Marco checked out his boyfriend for a moment. He must have tousled his hair during the kiss, because some of his locks now stood up in every possible direction. His eyes were almost black with lust and his lips were bruised. But he looked at Marco in a way that shouted for more of the same treatment. He didn’t voice his desires, though; he only reached for Marco’s hand and started to pull the blonde in the direction of their bedroom.

They slumped down on the huge bed and rolled over for a few seconds, fighting for the better position. In the end, it was Seb who stayed on top. He held himself up on his arms and smiled contentedly. Marco couldn’t wait any longer. He grabbed the younger one’s hips and pulled him down. Seb lost his balance and almost fell on his boyfriend but in the last moment he managed to stop himself and slowed down before he pressed their lips together.

It was a wild kiss: passionate and greedy. Now it was Seb’s time to show his affection for the blonde and he did a wonderful job. His tongue met Marco’s but it was nothing more than a slight touch that still sent jolts down Marco’s spine. Seb noticed his reaction and he repeated the small contact over and over again until Marco was an irritated mess full of lust and need. But Seb still didn’t give him more. Instead, he retreated and he grabbed Marco’s hair with his hand, tilting the blonde’s head back so he had access to the sensitive skin on Marco’s neck.

His lips slowly wandered lower, kissing every spot on their way until they reached Marco’s collarbone. The midfielder couldn’t withhold himself any longer. He grabbed Seb’s ass and urged him to go faster and further, just do something. But his boyfriend was adamant and Marco decided to take control, then. He slid his fingers under Seb’s pants.

“Oh no!” Seb lifted his head suddenly, snickering. He looked Marco in the eyes and he leaned closer to him, putting his mouth next to the blonde’s ear. “You’re not getting any of that today.” He whispered and he started to nibble on Marco’s earlobe.

“Why did you bring me to the bedroom if I can’t take you?” Marco whined, his voice hoarse.

“You have a match in two days. I can’t tire you out.” Seb chuckled and put an apologizing peck on Marco’s lips.

“Hey, I thought you were my coach only on the training ground and you’d be my boyfriend at home. It’s only fair.” Marco snapped playfully.

“How about I’ll be me all the time and not your someone?” Seb asked with seriousness suddenly, his hiding smile gone from his lips.

Marco freaked out. He knew how much Seb hated it when he was treated as Marco’s boyfriend and not as himself. And if he had hurt Seb once again, he would not forgive himself.

“I’m sorry– I didn’t mean it that way.” He stammered on the verge of crying.

“Marco, calm down.” Seb burst out laughing. “I’m just kidding you!”

He must have thought it was very amusing because his sharp chortle echoed between the room’s walls. Marco became angry, but only for a moment. The truth was that he couldn’t be mad at this wonderful young man who had stood by his side through good and bad. He wrapped his arms around the slim yet strong waist of Seb and he flung him over so they would lie next to each other, their faces only a few centimeters away.

“So what should we do, then?” Marco whispered.

Seb’s lips curled up in a mischievous smile and he reached out with his hand and started to caress Marco’s face with just one finger. The blonde closed his eyes and concentrated on the feeling of Seb’s fingertip gliding over his cheek, tickling his skin and making him shiver.

“I don’t know about you but I think I will…”

He didn’t finish the sentence; he let his actions speak for him. His other hand slid down Marco’s trunk and under his T-shirt, rubbing his flat abdomen. And before Marco could even enjoy the touch completely, Seb’s hand wandered lower and unbuttoned his jeans.

“Hey, I thought you didn’t want me to get tired.” Marco gasped.

“Oh, don’t worry, babe. You will only lie and enjoy. Leave everything else to me.

Seb unzipped Marco’s pants and pulled them just a bit down so he would have enough space. He felt out the footballer’s twitching manhood through his boxers and he got rid of that final layer, too. He closed down the distance between their bodies and pressed their lips together only for a light touch. At the same moment, his fingers enclosed Marco’s shaft and he started to stroke it with patient, effortless, almost lazy movements. Marco moaned contentedly, but he couldn’t make much noise because Seb’s lips were now glued to his and there was no sign of the raven haired wishing to change that in the near future.

It was utterly soothing. Their tongues danced to the rhythm of Seb’s strokes while the younger one’s other hand massaged the back of Marco’s head. For just one moment, nothing else existed for Marco. Their bed became a place of peace and tranquility and Marco didn’t want to leave it. There was no article, no match at the weekend, no hardships and no rows. Only Seb and he himself.

Seb brushed over Marco’s slit leaking pre-cum, his thumb covering the sensitive head of the blonde’s manhood with it. His jerks got faster and his kisses more passionate and greedy. At the same time, Marco’s breathing became heavier and he felt his blood gather in his groin. He felt his climax building up but he didn’t want this moment to end so soon. Seb had just started to pleasure him and the thought of his treat being over already was unbearable.

“Don’t hold it back.” Seb mumbled against Marco’s lips, his words a living proof of their perfect understanding.

Marco listened to him and the last wall of his resistance crumbled down heavily with his orgasm and his semen trickling down Seb’s fingers.

“Good.” Seb said in the sweetest voice in the world. He smiled at his boyfriend who was a useless mess under the aftermath of his climax.

Seb slowly got up and went to the bathroom to wash his hand and he returned with a towel he cleared Marco up with. He wanted to put it back in the bathroom, but Marco grabbed his hand and pulled him back on the bed.

“Don’t go.” He whispered and pulled his boyfriend closer to him. His voice was drowsy and content. Seb eventually threw away the towel and gave in for the blonde’s wish. “What did I do to deserve you?”

“Marco, please.” Seb giggled. “I know I’m an incredible person but I’m not _that_ good.”

“You are perfect for me. And I wish I knew a way to pay back your support and love.”

“Just hold me tight.” Seb said after a few seconds of thinking. And for now, this was truly everything he needed.

 

* * *

 

Marco left the next day and Seb the day after that. He had decided that he wasn’t going to look for trouble at the training course but if trouble found him, he would not back down. Before he had left Dortmund, Watzke had called him to make sure that he knew how he was supposed to behave. He was representing the club and not himself and he should not forget that.

He arrived at the hotel that served as their learning center after noon. He saw the familiar faces in the lobby but unfortunately not the one face he had been looking forward to see. He checked the time nervously; Theo could still turn up but Seb somehow had the feeling that he wouldn’t.

“What’s up, Dortmund?”

A deep voice cut through the room and Seb turned to the group of his classmates gathered in the corner. The question must have been followed by another comment because everyone started to laugh. Seb put on his impassive smile. He strode over to the few men who looked suddenly not so sure about themselves.

“You should know that, Helmut.” Seb’s smile still didn’t fade but his voice was as hostile as it could get. “Or should I ask Bild? You two seem really close to each other.” He had just broken his earlier promise but he couldn’t have cared less. He saw red and when that happened, there was no way of stopping him. “I knew you were stupid but running into Bild’s arms and weep like a hurt child is below even you.”

“What are you talking about?” Helmut snapped. “If you think that I’ve talked to a reporter than you’re–”

“Yeah, sure.” Seb waved away his desperate explanation. “And I should trust you because you have proved yourself to be a wonderful person.”

Helmut opened his mouth to answer to Seb’s cutting mockery but their instructor appeared in the corridor leading to the conference room and it ended their dispute. Their classroom was set up for analyzing a match. There was a huge TV on the wall, lots of chairs with small desks facing it and on both sides of the TV a whiteboard with a football pitch drawn on it. Seb walked straight to one of the chairs in the last row and slumped down on it.

“Welcome everyone; I’m glad you all could turn up despite the relatively short time. I’m sorry for the late notification, your final exam has been scheduled for one week earlier and we had to solve the problem this way. This weekend we will analyze five Bundesliga games. You already know the theoretical guidelines, now you can put your knowledge to use. First we will watch Dortmund take on Hoffenheim. Mr. Kruse you are from BVB if I’m not mistaken?” He asked and Seb nodded. “Please take your job seriously because your analysis will be sent to your club. Are there any questions?”

“Yes.” Seb raised his hand. The instructor looked at him almost terrified; this was the first time he actually asked a question. “You said everyone turned up. What about Theo? Isn’t he supposed to join us?”

“No, Mr. Fuchs won’t be joining us anymore. Most notably because there is no Theodor Fuchs. Apparently, no one knows about him at Aachen and we couldn’t find him. But that’s none of your concern.”

Seb sat there as if someone had poured ice cold water on him. Theo wasn’t real? That could mean only one thing. The realization made him feel sick. He had been stupid and careless and now he felt cheated on. He didn’t understand his own reaction but Theo had felt to him like a brother he had never had. And he wouldn’t have it. How could he be so gullible? How could he let someone deceive him so easily? He wanted to slap himself really hard. Helmut turned around and shot him a knowing look but there was no satisfaction or superiority in his eyes. Instead, Seb saw there– pity. He was going to have an apology to make but first, he had to go through this lecture.

How was he supposed to concentrate on the match? The players were already on the pitch, getting ready for the whistle signaling the start of the game. And Seb just sat there, staring blankly in front of him. It took him a good ten minutes to persuade himself that he needed to start working. He looked up at the TV just in time to see Marco dribble past a defender and put a well-placed curling ball in the net. A few of Seb’s classmates sounded their appreciation with an exclamation before turning to him. He tried to ignore them and celebrate only inwardly. In reality, he was happy like a kid in a candy store and his heart missed several beats as he saw Marco hugging his teammates.

In the end, the match turned out to be an easy business for Dortmund. They scored four and Hoffenheim could capitalize only on one rather stupid defensive error from the visitors. It was a slapstick situation and Seb could have written a page about it alone.

The TV reporter pulled Marco next to him for an interview and Seb felt his heart throbbing in his throat. Marco hadn’t done any post-match interviews since his coming out but this time he looked as if he had particularly asked for it and Seb was afraid that he was going to do something stupid.

“Congratulations Marco to an amazing victory and a wonderful performance from you!” The reporter said his introductory line and put the microphone under Marco’s nose.

“Um, yes, the team played really well and it’s a deserved victory for us.” The blonde took a deep breath and looked into the camera only for a split second but his eyes reached the depth of Seb’s soul. “It was important for us to perform well and prove that we are part of this club because we earned it and we fought for it.”

Seb couldn’t hold back his smile and his snickered at Marco’s childish and yet sweet comment. Maybe he had learned something from Seb after all. And it made Seb’s day. He had to face new challenges in his life and there would be previously inexperienced hardships and hazards, but one thing was sure. He had someone to count on on his journey. And as long as Marco was by his side, he would be able to face everything and everyone, no matter what.


	23. Substitute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for your lovely kudos and comments. Please keep it up if you like the new chapter, too. I wouldn't have thought that this story would grow this big and it couldn't have happened without your support.  
> And another huge huge thanks goes to Blue Night for her fantastic betaing and ideas! :-)

On the next Monday, Marco drove them to training. This time, Seb had told him everything that had happened at the coaching course. The blonde had listened to him incredulously; he couldn’t imagine that Bild had been so desperate to send a spy on his boyfriend. And more importantly, Marco had feared that this experience would make Seb close up again. But the raven haired had showed no sign of anything similar. He had seemed as if he had accepted what had happened and he had found a way to deal with it. Marco had no idea what exactly that way was, but he hoped that Seb counted on his help.

As they stopped in Marco’s usual parking space, he leaned over the gear and put a kiss on Seb’s cheek. The younger one smiled back at him shyly and they got out of the car. They walked to the main building close to each other, the back of their hands touching. Seb opened the door for him and they parted in the lobby. Marco looked after Seb making his way towards his office sadly. They had spent the weekend apart and he wanted to be with his boyfriend but they also had their jobs and they had to carry on with their lives. He had hoped that if Seb would work at BVB, they would find some time to spend together in the day, but the reality was worse than if Seb stayed home. The knowledge that he was so close to Marco and yet, the midfielder wasn’t able to be with him was hard to endure.

“Hey Marco!” Mats greeted him as he walked into the locker room. “Kloppo wants to talk to you before training so you should go and see him.”

_Great_ , Marco thought. If Kloppo wanted to talk to him that could mean only one thing: the board wasn’t thrilled with his post-match interview. But he didn’t mind it; he had done it for Seb and he was proud of it. And Seb had reassured him that he had been great.

He changed into his training gear first; their coach didn’t like it when they wore their casual clothes in the training grounds. It had something to do with team spirit and so, Marco gathered. They were meant to be Dortmund players once they passed the gates, part of the club and not individuals. He walked to Klopp’s office and he noticed surprised that he wasn’t the only one waiting to see the team’s head.

“Seb? What are you doing here? Did we do something wrong?” A week earlier, he would have assumed that only Seb had done something, but things had changed and he simply couldn’t think about them in the context of him and Seb. They were one.

“I wish I knew.” Seb shrugged. He didn’t take Klopp’s wishes that seriously, he was still wearing his worn out jeans and black T-shirt. “You go first.” He smiled and knocked on the door for the blonde.

“Come on in, Marco! Sit down!” Klopp instructed him as he entered the office.

Marco had been in this room so many times but lately he hadn’t had any pleasant memories. He sat down slowly and looked at his trainer expectantly. If he was going to have a going-over, he wanted to get it over with.

“Jogi called me yesterday.” Klopp started. “He wants to have you back on the national team.”

Marco was taken aback and he couldn’t say anything as his joy overwhelmed him. He had always considered it an honor to represent his country and he had been looking forward to it ever since his coming out. And now it would become reality. But his coach’s face didn’t calm him down; he knew Klopp wasn’t finished. There had to be more behind it because usually, Jogi called him first. He knew Dortmund had the right to recall him from the national team but it had never happened before and he could only hope that this wasn’t going to be the first time. It would be so unfair.

“As your coach, I’m worried about it, but I understand it means much to you. So I won’t stop you. Don’t even think about refusing the call-up. You are in a fine form and I think that this could help you professionally.” He stopped for a second and Marco knew it was time for the feared ‘but’.

“But I don’t want you to have any illusions. It will be very hard for you personally. Germany has accepted you as a gay player but it might not be the case with the other countries. You might have to listen to rants again and I don’t want this to have any effect on your performance. You had stood up from a personal low once; I don’t want to go through the same with you again. It wasn’t pleasant.”

Marco listened to Klopp stunned. He hadn’t brought up their fight for Marco’s career earlier and he had had no idea that it had been this hard for the older man, too. But Klopp looked nothing like a strict coach; his eyes right now were rather like those of a concerned father.

“It won’t happen, I promise.” Marco reassured him. This was too big opportunity to let anything stop him from taking it.

“Okay, then.” Klopp nodded, in the role of a coach again. “Now go and get ready for training. Jogi will call you in the afternoon and you can talk about the details.”

“Um…” Marco drawled and Klopp looked at him questioningly. “Could you tell me why do you want to talk to Seb? Is he in some sort of trouble?”

“What I’m going to talk about with one of my coaches is none of your concern, Marco.” Klopp warned him and pointed at the door, leaving no space for further discussion. “Send him in, please.”

Marco got up and thanked his coach before he turned around and walked to the door. He felt Klopp’s eyes on his back and he thought that it was not a good idea to have a chat with Seb and make their boss wait. He would have the opportunity to share his delight with Seb another time. He opened the door and stepped aside to give way to his boyfriend. Seb smiled at him and walked past him, shutting the door behind him. Marco started off back to the locker room with a lump in his throat.

 

* * *

 

Not many people could make Seb shiver from fear but Jürgen Klopp was definitely among them. He didn’t fear the man himself but what he would say. This job meant a lot more to Seb than he let it be seen and he dreaded the moment he would be told that their cooperation with the club had come to an end. And it wasn’t that ungrounded dismay. After all, who was he? Bild had put it perfectly well: Marco Reus’ boyfriend, at least in the eyes of the public and maybe Watzke, as well. Klopp might have had a good feeling about him but it was not enough. He hadn’t proved himself to be worth the job he had gotten.

He stopped in front of his boss and waited for Klopp to offer him a seat before he sat down. The manager was holding a paper in his hands and Seb’s heart missed a beat when he saw the letterhead. It was the report he had written and it wasn’t good at all, he knew that much. He had produced it under the influence of the realization of the truth about ‘Theo’. It wasn’t an excuse at all and he didn’t expect Klopp to consider it.

“I’ve read your report. It was quite– amusing.” Klopp said, a wide grin on his face. “I agree with you on most of the points but there are some unclear things I’d like you to explain.”

Seb nodded and gulped. This was a test and he hated them. How could anyone size up someone’s skills based on a single instance? He needed to see at least ten matches to get a preliminary opinion on a player and he didn’t think that anyone else could do it in less time.

“In the summary you write that Hoffenheim failed to exploit our weaknesses and at the same time couldn’t defend our _obvious_ attacking play. Do you mean that we played poorly?” Klopp wasn’t offended, his voice remained impassive but his eyes told Seb that he was sincerely curious.

“No, but I think when a match is this clean-cut and one team is in total control the whole ninety minutes, it isn’t because of the winning team’s brilliance but because of the losing team’s incapability.”

“I see.” Klopp nodded but further than that, he didn’t let show what he thought of Seb’s opinion. “Let’s move on! What do you mean that Henrikh can’t contribute when it really matters? In the next sentence you say that he could have been Man of the Match.”

“It’s just when there’s a lot of pressure on him, like in the big games, he cracks under it. During the easy games he thrives just like on Saturday.”

“So the criticism has nothing to do with the match.” Klopp noted.

“No, but it should be considered when setting up the line-up for the next game.” Seb held his gaze.

“One last thing. It’s more like an advice for the future. When analyzing a conceded goal, don’t write things like Subotic – and let me quote this – ‘passed like a three years old who can’t aim the ball and keep his footing at the same time’. We show these reports to the players now and then. They might get offended if they read something like that. Even if you’re right.” He burst out laughing.

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” Seb mumbled. That sentence already was the edited version of his opinion.

“But all in all, I’m impressed. It’s _the_ best report I’ve read from a novice.” Klopp said approvingly. “I think you’re wrong a few times but I don’t need coaches who agree with me all the time. And not many can write such a thorough analysis in real-time.” He took a deep breath just like you do before a big announcement. “That’s why we’ll have you on the bench the next match.”

Seb listened to him stunned and for a few seconds he was unable to form any normal thoughts. He quickly ran through the club’s schedule mentally and when he realized which match was in front of them, his shock grew even bigger.

“B-but we’re playing Bayern at the weekend.” He stammered.

“Thanks for reminding me.” Klopp smiled. “We need to test you sooner or later and it’s actually easier to analyze the bigger teams because you know the players more. I’m convinced that you will do fine. We don’t expect you to rock the world. Just do your job the way you did it with this report.”

“Okay, thank you!” Seb said. He still couldn’t quite believe it but his brain was quick to switch to focusing on the upcoming challenge.

“Earn it.” Klopp waved away his gratitude. “You’ll find footage of Bayern’s last ten matches in your office, if you need anything else, ask Gustav. You’re working under him so I’m expecting you to respect him.”

“Sure thing.”

“You’re dismissed.” Klopp got up and Seb started off towards the door. “And one more thing.” Seb stopped midmotion and turned back. “Put on your training kit. You should be proud to wear our colors.”

“Okay, I will.” Seb smiled as he opened the door and left the office.

 

* * *

 

Marco went through the morning training session unable to wash off the huge grin from his face. His teammates looked happy for him and when he told Mats the news, the defender welcomed him back to the national team as its vice-captain. But at the same time, Marco couldn’t ignore Mats’ concerned eyes. He couldn’t understand Klopp’s and Mats’ worries. He felt ready for the upcoming challenges. He had gone through the worst time of his life and he had learnt how to deal with rants. He had shut up all the boo-boys in Germany, why couldn’t he do it in Europe?

His last chance was Seb. He was sure that his boyfriend would have the same doubts but at least he wouldn’t let them show on his face and he would be happy with him for an hour and bring up the possible hardships only later. Marco could do with that for the time being.

After a quick shower the players went to the training center’s canteen for lunch. Marco was looking for Seb but he couldn’t see the young man. He asked for another serving and he put the two plates on the tray, leaving towards Seb’s office. They weren’t obliged to eat in the canteen but Klopp didn’t like any ‘individualism’ and he would surely mention Marco’s act later but the blonde didn’t care. He had an incredible joy to share with his boyfriend and no one could stop him.

He walked down the corridors carefully not to drop their lunches. He knocked on Seb’s door and didn’t wait for an answer to push down the handle and enter.

“Lunch is here!” He announced as he stepped over the threshold but he recoiled immediately. “What the–?”

Seb’s office looked like a garbage heap with papers flung around the room with Seb’s scratchy handwriting on them. And the man who had thrown them there sat on the floor staring at the TV, surrounded by empty plastic glasses. If Marco hadn’t known him better he would have thought that Seb had gone mad.

“I see you’re working.” Marco noted and Seb finally looked up at him. “I brought you lunch.”

“Thanks, put it on the table.” Seb nodded and resumed his previous activity.

It was easier said than done because Marco had to sweep aside a few sheets of paper first. They fell to the ground but he gathered that they wouldn’t be in the way there at all. He slumped down on Seb’s chair and started to eat.

“You know, I came here hoping that we would have lunch together.” He noted after he had eaten half of his meal.

“I’m sorry, I’m working.” Seb said, scratching something. He didn’t even look at Marco but the blonde didn’t take it seriously. Seb didn’t mean to be this snappy, he simply didn’t like to be disturbed when analyzing and Marco could relate to that. He was ready to shout down any teammate’s head who tried to tell him how to play during a match.

“Yes, I can see that.” Marco mumbled. “Is there any reason behind your newly found obsession with Bayern?” He asked as he noticed the names written on the top of every paper. Seb finally reached for the remote control and stopped the video.

“Because I’m on the bench for the weekend game.” He turned to Marco and made an announcement without further ado.

“What?” Marco exclaimed, his sudden reaction starting off a cough attack.

“Klopp wants to have me on his coaching team for the game against Bayern.” He repeated, this time with more pride in his voice and a faint smile on his face.

“Wow, that’s wonderful!”

Marco sprung up once he caught his breath again. He ran to his boyfriend and embraced him with so much momentum that he knocked him down and they both ended up lying on the floor, Marco on top of Seb. The midfielder used Seb’s helplessness to press their lips together and celebrate the news with a passionate kiss.

“But you’re not the only one with good news.” He smiled once he pulled back. “Jogi called me back to the national team!” He announced and the same joy that had overwhelmed him three hours earlier returned to his body.

“I’m proud of you.” Seb smiled and it wasn’t the reaction Marco was after.

“You’re not surprised.” He remarked. “Don’t tell me that Kloppo told you!”

“It wasn’t him.” Seb said. “It was Mats.” He added, seeing Marco’s questioning look.

“That’s great! Instead of feeling happy for me, he is full of concern and informs my boyfriend before I could tell him myself!” Marco grumbled. “He should stop being so all-important!” He climbed off Seb.

“Chill out, he’s only worried about you, that’s all.” Seb sat up and swung and arm around Marco’s shoulder. “He asked me to prepare you mentally for the possible hatred.”

“Wow, I’m thrilled!” Marco snapped and he stood up, breaking the contact between them. “So everyone thinks that I’m a defenseless child who can’t take care of himself!”

“No, I don’t think so.” Seb said calmly. “I think you are strong enough now to face anything. But I’d like to help you, if you don’t mind.” Marco turned back to him, taken aback by his words. “I won’t force myself on you, but I’d like you to tell me any doubts that arise, okay?”

“Yes, thank you.” Marco sighed. He hadn’t expected Seb to react this way. He showed great trust in him; the greatest trust Marco had received from anyone in the past months.

“So, are we going to have lunch or what?” Seb drawled, smiling. He walked to his desk, next to Marco and planted a peck on his cheek.

“You kind of have only one chair.” Marco pointed out chuckling. Seb didn’t say anything; he just sat down on his chair and patted his thighs. Marco got the message and he sat in his boyfriend’s lap, the chair dangerously creaking under their weight. “Thank you, Seb for believing in me. You can’t imagine how much it means to me.”

“Sure thing.” Seb shrugged. “That’s why you have me, right? Among others…” He smiled mischievously as he picked up a few noodles with his fork and brought them to Marco’s mouth.

 

* * *

 

The rest of the week had been hard work for both of them. On Friday evening, the whole team left for the club hotel in Dortmund. Seb had gone through it many times before but he had never accompanied the players there. The coaches were staying on a different floor in single bed rooms what Seb was grateful for. He didn’t have anything against his colleagues but he hadn’t had the time to get to know them and he didn’t feel comfortable around strangers.

They had a brief team meeting in the evening where Klopp and a few other coaches reminded the players what to be careful about during the decisive ninety minutes. Seb didn’t have to talk to anyone; he wasn’t part of the coaching team preparing the players for the match, his only job was to find the tactical flaws in Bayern’s game. In this case he was almost done; Guardiola wasn’t famous for forgetting about any details. Seb would still sit on the bench though and do his best.

He felt Marco’s gaze on his back during the entire meeting and by the time they were finished, he was ready to slap his boyfriend. The blonde was acting like a teenager crazy in love with him. On one hand, it flattered Seb but on the other hand, Marco’s behavior wasn’t unnoticed by Klopp and Seb was sure that it would be discussed sooner or later. If only Marco was able to grow up!

But he wasn’t and after the meeting he sneaked to Seb’s room and entered without knocking. The raven haired was going through his own files on the Bayern players hoping that he would notice there something he hadn’t done earlier. It wasn’t probable but he still had to do it before he went to bed.

“So the coaches stay alone. It’s not fair.” Marco groused jokingly as he walked behind Seb and embraced him from behind. “Not that I would mind sharing a room with you.” He whispered into the younger one’s ear.

“Yeah, I guess that’s why you aren’t.” Seb turned around annoyed. “What are you doing here? You should be fast asleep right now.”

“Sorry, coach.” Marco chuckled and he buried his head in Seb’s chest. “Maybe you need to punish me?” He licked Seb’s neck teasingly and Seb had to try really heard to hold back his needy moan.

“Stop it, Marco. I mean it. We must focus on tomorrow’s game.” Seb said but his hands automatically wandered to the blonde’s hips.

“Oh, I have tomorrow’s game on my mind completely. I’m nervous and that’s why I thought I’d come to you for some– _relief_.” He purred the last word.

“You have to find another way, then.” Seb pushed away Marco, mainly to hide his bulge from the blonde. “I’m sorry, babe. I’ll be all yours tomorrow evening after the match but today we must remain professional.” His voice was hoarse from his need and his words seemed ridiculous even to him.

But Marco seemed to understand him. He slowly nodded and walked to the door. He wasn’t hurt, only disappointed.

“Wait!” Seb exclaimed and he quickly caught up to his boyfriend. “Good night!” He whispered and he pressed their lips together.

The sensation he felt then was nothing compared to what he felt the next evening as he walked down the tunnel leading to Signal Iduna Park’s turf. The sound of the of the sold-out stadium was no more than a light buzz but Seb’s legs still started to shake uncontrollably. He knew damn well what he would hear. He had been in the stadium countless times before and he was always nervous whenever Dortmund played, but now that he had an active role in the proceedings, he was excited.

His blood was full of adrenaline and the world was ceasing to exist. It was only him and the task ahead. Now he could imagine what Marco experienced week after week. And it was phenomenal. Seb was only a minor gear wheel in the whole machine, not the motor of it like his boyfriend.

He almost fainted when he left the tunnel. Everyone in the stadium was singing and shouting. Seb walked to the bench and slumped down on his seat glad that he had gotten over with that short walk and he didn’t have to stand up for at least forty-five minutes. The substitutes and the other coaches joined him one after the other and finally the starting elevens entered the pitch, too. They waved to the crowd and two minutes later everything was ready for kick-off.

Before the referee whistled for the start of the match though, Marco looked into Seb’s eyes and sent him a reassuring smile. Seb sighed. He hoped that Marco wouldn’t be too preoccupied with him and he would perform on the pitch first of all. He usually preferred the lover Marco Reus over the footballer but this definitely wasn’t the time for that.

But he didn’t have to be worried. The game started and Dortmund pressed very well and had a few chances early on. In the fifteenth minute Marco sent the ball towards Bayern’s goal and it cruised past Neuer only to hit the crossbar. But the home team’s efforts were rewarded four minutes later with a goal. The whole stadium got up on its feet and an eruptive shout echoed between the stands. The crowd’s reaction hadn’t surprised Seb, he had experienced it many times, but what was going on on the bench was unfamiliar to him.

It was one thing that the substitutes sprung up and started to shout with the fans. He knew what to expect from Klopp but all the coaches got up too and celebrated as if they had just won the title. Only Seb remained seated. He wasn’t up for goal celebrations. A single goal rarely won matches and Bayern still were the stronger team, able to change the score any minute.

His worries were proved to be grounded because by half time, the two teams were level and in the fifty-third minute, Robben put the visitors up in front. Dortmund didn’t lose their heads, though. They attacked and had a lot of promising chances but their efforts were easily stopped on the edge of the penalty area. Seb didn’t understand why, and it troubled him. He hated puzzles that were hard to solve. Well, he only hated them when he didn’t have the time to muse over them; otherwise he was always up for them.

Maybe if he had had a better view on the pitch… he didn’t see much from the bench. But Dortmund’s next attack opened his eyes. He quickly scanned through their previous attacks and his theory was verified. The realization was horrible to his heart but his brain noted satisfied that _he_ had solved the problem that kept busy every coach on the host’s bench.

He quickly stood up and walked to Klopp. The other coaches looked at him disbelievingly and Seb had no idea, why.

“We need to sub Marco.” He said simply to the head coach.

“Kruse! What are you doing here?” Klopp turned around incredulously. “Sit back in your seat right now!” He yelled.

“No, you don’t understand. We need to sub Marco if we want to get a point.”

“Sit. Down.” Klopp hissed. Seb had no idea why he was so angry at him.

“But Henrikh always passes the ball to him– Our game is easily readable– You can’t change Henrikh but if he just once passes straight to Auba, he can use his speed to get past Dante.” Seb stammered, not so sure about himself any more.

Suddenly he felt a hand grab him by his shoulder and pull him towards the bench. Seb didn’t look back, he kept staring at Klopp and then he looked over Bayern’s bench where a few members of the staff watched the incident curious and amused.

“What the fuck are you doing? Has anyone asked you for your opinion? No! Then shut up!”

It was Klopp’s assistant manager who had dragged him back to his seat. Seb didn’t care about him. He was only interested in Klopp who was already watching the match again, his hands behind his back, obviously thinking very hard.

Four minutes later, Kuba went on for Marco. The blonde German wasn’t happy about his coach’s decision and he left the pitch not even trying to hide his anger. He barely accepted Klopp’s handshake and his eyes were ready to kill anyone. Not a reassuring reaction for Seb.

But he didn’t really mind it. All he cared about was the goal Auba scored in the last minute exactly the way Seb had outlined it.

 

* * *

 

“You don’t seem happy with that one point.” Seb noted.

They were sitting in their living room, relaxing after the stressful evening. Klopp hadn’t talked to Seb about the incident during the match but it was going to happen soon, he was sure of that. He didn’t let it distract him. His debut for the club went really well, at least so he thought and that one point felt as if he had conquered the world of football.

Marco, on the other hand still didn’t get over his bringing off. He celebrated with his teammates a little bit but as soon as they were on their own with Seb, he sulked silently. He hadn’t scored, he had ‘only’ assisted a goal and Seb knew that it troubled him but it still didn’t justify his sour face.

“I’m glad for that, but I can’t believe Kloppo! I wanted to be part of the team and contribute to the equalizer but apparently, he still doesn’t trust me.” Marco sighed.

So that was his big problem. He felt that he was worthless in the eyes of his manager. Despite his good form, the press still questioned his ability to endure the heavy pressure on him. The pressure that was caused by the press itself. It was flogging a dead horse, but something the public enjoyed very much.

“It wasn’t him. He didn’t want to sub you.” Seb explained slowly, afraid of his boyfriend’s reaction. “ _I_ told him to do it.”

“What?” Marco snapped and he looked back at Seb horrified. He couldn’t believe his ears.

“We needed more variety in our attack and your presence unconsciously forced your teammates to pass to you.”

“That’s great!” Marco snorted. “So I had to go because I was too good?”

“Something like that.” Seb shrugged.

“I– I can’t believe you, Seb!” Marco shook his head in disbelief. “I thought I could at least trust _you_. But it seems I was wrong.”

“No, Marco.” Seb hurried to the blonde and grabbed his hand. “I support you totally. If you want to, I can curse that stupid Kruse for subbing you. But in the stadium I cannot consider our relationship and you shouldn’t, either. It was nothing personal, purely professional. I realize that you have a harder time managing our relationship in work, but we have to find a way to do that. Like when you came to my room last evening… it shouldn’t happen again. I appreciated it, but that’s not why we were there. You must learn to trust me enough to know that no matter what I do as a coach or whatever has nothing to do with my feelings for you and at the end of the day I will always be there for you as your love.”

“Okay.” Marco sighed and his facial expression changed very quickly. His pupils dilated and his lips curled up for a smirk. “Speaking of my visit yesterday… and considering coach Kruse spared me some more energy-loss on the pitch, I would like to take you by your word and demand what you had promised to me yesterday!” Marco drawled, watching Seb like a hungry lion would watch its prey. For the very first time, Seb knew exactly how Marco had always felt when he had wanted the footballer so badly. Seb didn’t know if he liked this change of their roles, but he was sure that he would find out whether he did sooner rather than later…


	24. Who's Your Friend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank Blue Night for betaing this work and doing it perfectly. And I am so grateful to all my readers who read the new chapters week after week. Thank you and I hope I won't disappoint you with the remaining updates. Please, let me know in the comments if you liked it or not, your feedback is precious and keeps me going.

Seb had forgotten about last evening’s incident in the arms of his love. Marco had made sure that Seb had felt loved and the blonde had wanted to prove to him that there hadn’t been hard feelings in him for his substitution anymore. He had taken Seb with such tenderness but with so much passion at the same time. It had been something Seb had never experienced before. He had always been on the other end of making love. He had thought that the way Marco had wanted to claim his body as his own would be strange but, it had actually felt so natural and right. They had shared the biggest intimacy two people could share and just the memory of it sent Seb to euphoria.

It felt as if there were dozens of butterflies in his stomach as he watched Marco sleeping peacefully next to him, his features completely relaxed and his mouth slightly open as if he was inviting Seb in. The sun already shone through the window and it illuminated Marco’s hair and now it looked as if it was made of gold. His boyfriend wasn’t wearing anything after their night together. Marco’s arm was lying between them. Seb looked at it thoroughly, brushing over one of the tattoos carefully, not to wake up his love.

It was the tattoo around Marco’s wrist. The one with the clovers and the wings. The one he had gotten for Seb. The one Marco had used to cover with a yellow tape during matches. The one he now wore proudly and the tape had to move onto his other arm. Seb hadn’t liked the idea when Marco had told him he wanted to get a tattoo representing their love. He had always found these gestures so transparent and meaningless. But, it had happened at the beginning of their relationship and Marco had been crazy in love with him so there had been no way to persuade the blonde. When he had shown the result to Seb though, the raven haired had changed his mind immediately because he had done it. Marco had actually done it. He was wearing a proof of their love. And it wasn’t just a temporary thing like a bracelet he could throw away at any time. It was a tattoo, something that Marco could never get rid of completely.

Seb had felt that he needed to find a way to thank the midfielder and he had found it in his band. In every lyrics he had written, he had put a tiny reference to their love. A line only they knew what it meant. Marco had been excited about it and he had grinned like an idiot whenever he had gone to see Seb’s band play when one of those lines had been sung. And Seb had taken things one step further after their first real row. He had sung a song only to Marco. They had made out right that evening.

Overwhelmed by the memories of their small gestures to each other, Seb slowly crawled out of the bed. He checked if he hadn’t woken up Marco, but the blonde was sleeping undisturbed. Seb put on new briefs and tiptoed out of the room and into the kitchen. He wasn’t a master chef but he knew how to make an omelet– and Marco knew how to eat it with great appetite. He prepared a few toasts and grated cheese. Finally, he filled a glass with orange juice and put everything on a tray.

Marco was lying in the bed with closed eyes, but his breathing wasn’t so even and his phone wasn’t where it had been when Seb had left.

“You’re awake.”

“Yeah.” Marco chuckled, blushing like a schoolboy who had been caught doing a mischief. “I just can’t sleep when you’re not next to me.” He admitted sheepishly.

“So you woke up, saw that I wasn’t in bed and you stayed here? Why didn’t you get up?” Seb purred teasingly as he walked to his love and put the tray on the sheets.

“Well, I’ve smelled something great in the making from the kitchen…” Marco smiled. “I didn’t want to ruin your plan.”

“And what do you think about it?” Seb bent down and placed a kiss on Marco’s forehead.

“I could get used to this.”

“Don’t you wish for it!” Seb burst out laughing. “We’re not making a habit out of this.”

They ate their breakfast silently, their eyes doing all the talking. Marco’s were full of hunger for Seb rather than for the omelet he had prepared. Seb wasn’t doing better, either. It was only the bedcover still on Marco’s lower regions and the fabric of his underpants that helped him hide his arousal from his boyfriend. They enjoyed being together; something they hadn’t done so carelessly for a long time.

“There’s some crumbs on your lips.” He warned Marco who only smiled at him mischievously.

“Well, if it bothers you, you should wipe them away.”

Seb snickered but he leaned forward nonetheless, ready to brush away the crumbs with his tongue. But just as he touched Marco’s lip, the blonde’s mouth opened and he took Seb’s tongue prisoner. Truth to be told, Seb didn’t want to break out, either. They lost themselves in the contact and they lay down on the bed, kicking the tray with the remainder of their omelet to the floor.

“Shit!” Seb exclaimed.

“Don’t worry about that, love.” Marco pulled him closer and he crashed their lips together once again.

His tongue darted out of his mouth and moved around in Seb’s sweet cavern as if it was meant to do nothing else apart from that, touching every sensitive spot on Seb’s palate. It swirled around with great ease; it was on friendly ground, after all. Seb closed his eyes and let Marco do whatever he wanted to do with him. Marco soon retreated and he started to kiss his way lower, his fingers already tugging at Seb’s waistbands. His lips were around Seb’s nipple when the alarm clock pulled them back to reality.

“We should go to work.” Seb sighed, his heart beating as if he had just run a marathon and the proof of his unfulfilled desire threatening to tear through the thin material of his briefs.

“I will be quick.” Marco looked up at him, a lopsided smile sprawling across his face.

 

Marco had kept his promise and they arrived in Brackel on time. They came to the training center with Seb’s old clunker. It had taken him a long time to persuade Marco to get into the car but it had been the logical choice. Marco was going to have only a short session focusing on post-match recovery. Seb on the other hand, had to work like on every other day. He didn’t mind it though, he enjoyed his job and he was looking forward to the moment when everyone would learn that it was he who had saved a point for Dortmund with his brilliant idea.

He walked to his office whistling cheerfully, a huge grin on his face. Marco Reus was his boyfriend and they loved each other; he was working for the same club and his career had started the best possible way. Life was great and he had all right for being grateful and happy. But his joy didn’t last long because the door to his office was open. He recoiled for a moment and then he continued with wary steps.

Other than the open door, everything was in its place in his office, just like he had left it. And it meant piles of paper all over the floor. But in the middle of it, in _Seb’s_ seat, Klopp was sitting. The coach seemed preoccupied with one of Seb’s scribbles but he looked up at the newcomer the moment he crossed the threshold.

“Trust me, there’s a system behind those papers.” Seb tried to start a chat because if there was anything he hated to share with Klopp, it was silence.

“Oh, really?” The older man asked not caring about Seb’s notes at all. He had something on his mind and Seb knew it wouldn’t take long until he brought it up. “And why don’t you put them into files and on shelves, then?”

“Because there are none in my office?” Seb asked unsure about where this conversation was going. He had expected a wholehearted congratulation on a fantastic start of his coaching career, but seeing Klopp’s serious eyes, he wasn’t convinced any longer that such a thing would come.

“You can ask for a few.”

“I know and I will. But I was too busy preparing for the match in the past days.” Seb slowly brought up the game hoping that the good memory would soften Klopp’s heart after all. “And I guess it has paid off.”

“Tell me more about it.” Klopp leaned back in the chair.

“Well, I don’t want to boast about it–” Seb started but why shouldn’t he boast? He should have been praised instead of questioned. “But I kind of helped the team to a draw.”

“Did you?” Klopp asked with faked interest. “And tell me: did you score the equalizer or did you assist it?”

“None of those obviously.” Seb snorted. Klopp was playing with him and he was losing his patience. He hated if he didn’t have the upper hand in a conversation. “But I _did_ give you the key to solving our problem.”

“Yes, you did.” Klopp nodded. “But I can’t believe you are that stupid to think that I hadn’t known it already.”

Seb opened his mouth but he closed it ultimately. He wasn’t sure if Klopp was being serious or he was only acting and trying to save his stature as the team’s only great mind.

“It was an obvious thing. Something every fan saw. I was going to substitute Marco whether you asked me to do it or not. So what else did you do for that draw except making a fool of me?”

“I–” Seb stammered and then Klopp’s words finally reached the thinking part of his brain. “I did what?” He snapped.

“Answer me, Kruse what gives you the right to stand up and just walk to me and tell me what to do?” He was using Seb’s last name and it was an unmistakable sign of his anger. “Do you understand what it means?”

“No and I don’t understand why are you making such a fuss about it!” Seb found his courage to speak up for himself. No one was going to tell him off the day after his first big professional success. Not even his boss. “I realized something and I wanted to share it with you. I’m sorry if it hurts your feelings and you feel offended, but, I was doing only my job!”

“Your job is to _assist_ me.” Klopp explained. He was still very calm. “And there’s a way to do it. You can’t just stand up in the middle of the match and talk to me as if I was just a regular coach. I’m the head coach. The players and the fans must have complete faith in me. It must look like I’m making all the decisions.”

“This is preposterous!” Seb exclaimed. “You only want all the glory for yourself and you are trying to hide the fact that it was _me_ who saved the point for us.”

Klopp burst out laughing and Seb’s hands clenched in rage. The manager was laughing _at_ him.

“Sorry, I had no idea I was dealing with such a great coach.” Klopp said theatrically and mockingly. “Now if you are such a huge star, maybe you could tell me your honest opinion on Mario Götze. The one you wrote down on this paper.” He waved a sheet in front of Seb’s face.

The younger one found his wish surprising but he was ready to comply with it. Mario was the footballer he knew the second most after Marco, mostly because he knew him personally and he had seen him develop technically. So of course he had a spot-on opinion on him. One he wouldn’t hide from Klopp.

“Mario is a talented player who has been blinded by his talent and the sudden opportunity he got.” He took a deep breath to continue but he stopped midmotion because suddenly, the description fitted another person, too. “Oh!” He sighed in realization and Klopp got up, smiling. He walked to Seb and patted his shoulder.

“Don’t get me wrong, Sebastian. I think you are a great talent. You have a natural feel for the game and you can read a match the way not many can. I just don’t want your talent to go to waste. You will be a huge servant for this club. But there are some rules you must learn to live by.”

“Yes.” Seb nodded. He was totally defeated and he felt like an idiot. He couldn’t believe he had actually questioned Klopp’s actions. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Klopp smiled at him reassuringly. “I’m not mad at you. I should have seen it coming. You have a pretty assertive personality and I know it will be hard for you to get used to our ways. But once you do that, you will have a very good time in our services. And to make sure that you learn your lesson, you will help out with the U-teams.”

“But–” Seb started, but Klopp’s eyes stopped him immediately.

“Humbleness and patience, Sebastian.” The coach said calmly and Seb couldn’t help but snicker because he sounded like Yoda or some old master from a cheap karate movie.

“Thank you, boss.” He said proudly.

“I think it’s about time you start calling me Jürgen.” The manager patted his shoulder for the last time and he left the office.

Seb shook his head over his own stupidity again and he walked to his chair. Maybe Klopp was the old master, but in that case, Seb was the ignorant rookie and he was determined to learn as much as possible.

 

Seb’s presumptions had turned out to be right, because just before noon, Marco came to his office and announced that he was done with training for the day. The blonde looked really relaxed and happy, no signs of his sullenness from the previous night.

“Is there anyone who will drive you home?” Seb asked.

“Yeah, Auba has volunteered.”

“I guess he won’t have to persuade you to get into his car.” Seb noted dryly.

“Don’t take it personally.” Marco chuckled and hugged him apologetically. “Why don’t we go out and see a movie in the evening? Just to make sure that you won’t feel neglected.” Marco purred and his voice was so seductive that Seb had to master all his strength to hold back his moan. How could the blonde even think that Seb felt neglected after their night together? Marco’s hands started to rub his back and massage his shoulders and for a moment Seb asked himself if working at the same place as Marco had really been a good idea.

“I’m sorry, but I have another program for the evening already.” Seb said. “David has called me, they want to meet me. I mean the band. But you can come along and maybe we can go to the cinema after that. I don’t think we’ll be there for long.”

“Don’t you think they won’t want me to be there?”

“ _I_ want you to be there and don’t care about them.” Seb shrugged. Showing his love for Marco had never been about formalities and big presents. He did it every day and it came so natural to him. That was exactly what Marco appreciated in him the most.

Marco’s doubts were grounded because he had never gotten along with Seb’s bandmates and partially he was the reason behind the raven haired slowly falling out of the band. Every time they had gone together somewhere, Marco had felt Seb’s friends’ hostile looks on him. He hadn’t been one of them and they had taken every opportunity to point it out to him. The situation had gotten unbearable and when Marco had decided that he would let Seb hang out with his friends without him, the younger one had stood up for him and told off his mates. He had chosen Marco above something he had loved the most in the world.

“Okay, I’ll go with you then.” Marco nodded.

 

* * *

 

They met in a small and dirty pub. It must have been the haunt of a gang of rockers or something, because the moment they stepped inside, Marco felt that he wasn’t welcome there. He stuck out from the other costumers and they all shot him a measuring look. It wasn’t that they didn’t know him; there wasn’t a person in Dortmund who wouldn’t recognize him. But in that pub, his career or stature meant nothing and because of that, he started to feel himself uncomfortable. He hadn’t wanted to come along, but, Seb had asked him numerous times during the late afternoon. As if the raven haired had known what this ‘meeting’ was going to be about and he had wanted to have Marco by his side.

Seb sensed his nervousness, because he gave Marco’s hand a light squeeze before they started off towards the table where Seb’s former bandmates were sitting. There were three of them and David was the only one whom Marco knew relatively well. The others had never liked him and questioned Seb why he had even talked to him, because according to them, Marco had been ruining their image. Marco had always found this opinion funny because it was exactly the way he had felt the other way around, but he had thought that his dislike had been more grounded.

His reception wasn’t better this time, either. David shot him a shy smile, but Marco could see beyond it and he knew that the bassist wasn’t delighted that Seb had taken Marco with him. And that was the friendliest reaction he had gotten. The drummer, Ben looked at him with a cutting glance, ready to kill him with his eyes only and their singer, Simon didn’t even glanced at him, but his face mirrored only one thing– disgust. It had always been Simon who had disliked Marco the most and the midfielder had had no idea why it had been so. His most probable guess had been that whenever he had attended their concerts, he had usually gotten most of the attention, and Simon had had to content himself with the second place.

“Hey guys!” Seb greeted them and they exchanged handshakes.

“What is he doing here?” Simon jerked his head towards Marco, but he still didn’t look at him.

“Well, he’s going to listen to us speaking first and once you are done, we will go to see a movie, but I have no idea why that would be any of your concern.” Seb answered dryly, dealing with the singer with the same disgust he had for Marco.

“Okay, chill out.” David hurried to ease the tension. Marco and Seb sat down opposite the trio. “The reason we wanted to speak with you Seb, is that we have some good news. And an offer that might interest you.”

Marco’s whole body stiffened. What was going on? What was this all about? What offer was David talking about? Seb didn’t seem moved; he looked at David with the same unreadable expression.

“I’m all ears.” He nodded.

“We’ve got a contract!” David said with not little pride and enthusiasm, but what was wonderful news to him, hit Marco in the stomach and he suddenly was out of breath. If they were going to make a career from music, he knew what the offer was going to be. And he wasn’t sure what Seb’s answer would be.

“Congrats. I guess it’s all you’ve dreamed of.”

“Yes, but there’s a problem. Our guitarist is a uni student and he doesn’t want to leave college for an uncertain career.” David continued.

“Doesn’t sound like rock star material to me.” Seb shrugged as if he was saying _I don’t have to do anything with this_.

“No, he isn’t.” David took a pause and Marco braced himself for the next sentence. “That’s why we would like to have you back. You know all the songs and we don’t have much time to look for a new guitarist. We need you, Seb!” He said.

Seb stared blankly in front of himself for a long minute. Marco saw that he was thinking very hard and if his ears had had started to fume, Marco wouldn’t have been surprised. Marco counted the seconds with growing impatience and insecurity. He knew what this meant to Seb and he wanted him to fulfill his dreams, but at the same time, he prayed that he would choose him one more time. Finally, the raven haired’s features softened and he smiled.

“I appreciate that you thought of me. But there are others who need me. I’m happy for you and I wish you all the best, but I don’t think my place is with you.”

“That’s pathetic!” Simon snorted. “You are suddenly the romantic guy who chooses his princess or I don’t know how you call him! What’s wrong with you, Seb? We wanted to rock the world together. This is our chance to do it and you are ready to throw it away because of this asshole who wouldn’t have even admitted that he’s seeing you if you hadn’t been outed?”

“Simon!” David snapped and sprung up, but Seb remained sitting.

Marco feared that he was going to faint. His boyfriend placed his hand on Marco’s thigh and it gave the blonde new strength.

“It’s okay, David.” Seb stopped his friend. “You are right, Simon. But you know I have always been fond of assholes. And now, if you excuse us, we will leave.”

He stood up and pulled Marco with him. The blonde was left speechless and he followed his boyfriend without reluctance. When they had left the pub, Marco took a deep breath and the fresh air helped him come back to his senses. He looked at Seb incredulously, still digesting the commitment he had shown just seconds earlier.

“Seb, wait for me!” David stormed out of the building and caught up to them. “Please, don’t listen to Simon, you know he’s a prick! He’s drunk a lot already today and–”

“David, stop that.” Seb waved away his explanation. “I’m not interested and you don’t have to defend him. Good luck with your careers.”

“Is there any chance I can persuade you?” David looked up at him.

“No.” Seb sighed. “I’m sorry, but this is the end, David. There are more important things in my life now. It would have been great to rule the world with you, but I’m past that. I’m happy for you, I really am. But my life lies somewhere else.”

“Yeah, don’t talk like you’re breaking up with me!” David laughed. “You won’t get rid of your best friend that easily.” He embraced Seb and then turned to Marco. “And you, neither.”

“I wouldn’t want that!” Marco snickered.

“We’ll see each other soon, Seb.” David nodded.

“Yeah. And now go back and celebrate with the guys. You deserve it.”

“Thank you, Seb! And good luck with your career, too.”

David turned around and walked back inside the pub. Seb followed him with his gaze and then stared at his feet. Marco watched him warily, not sure what was going through his mind. Maybe he was brooding over his lost dream? Or weighing the possibilities his life had? He had made a terminal decision and there was no way back for him.

“Are you alright?” Marco asked him, grabbing his hand.

“Yes, I’m fine.” Seb looked at him, but there was sadness in his eyes. “We should hurry if you want to see that movie.” He smiled faintly.

“Why did you do that? Why did you stand up for me? You must know that Simon was right. If this whole thing hadn’t happened I wouldn’t have had the strength to stand up for you and admit that we were together.”

“I know.” Seb nodded and his toneless voice scared Marco. “But I don’t mind it, because looks were never important to me. Because in my heart I have always known that you love me. And that’s what matters to me.”

“Seb!” Marco exclaimed breathlessly, on the verge of crying. “But it’s not how it should be! I should have stood by your side all the time! And I shouldn’t stand between you and your friends!”

“Simon is not my friend, Marco. It works both ways: if he hates me because of you, I don’t have to care about him.”

“But I feel so bad now!”

“Because you couldn’t do the same thing? If you had to choose between Marcel and me, you wouldn’t be able to choose, right?” Seb said dryly and Marco nodded. “You don’t have to choose, love. I don’t hate him and I don’t mind you spending time with him. You get along really well and I’m happy for that.”

“Yes, but still–” Marco drawled. “Could you give him another chance? I’d like you two to be close. I don’t know, maybe you could hang out together? Hey, why don’t you watch the national match with him? I know I shouldn’t ask you anything like this, especially not now, but it is really important to me. Please?”

“Yeah, alright!” Seb laughed. “But only on one condition.”

“And what’s that?”

“You must score a goal– for me.”


	25. Abroad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a bit harder to write this chapter than I have thought, but it's finished and I'm curious what you think about it. Your feedback is very precious and I want to thank you all who have supported me with your comments and kudos or just by reading the story. You are an icredible audience and I'm very grateful for accepting my Seb, I didn't expect such a good response to an original character. :-)

Marco feared that his heart would break out from his chest as the van approached the hotel that would serve as the national players’ home for the upcoming two weeks. They were just outside of Stuttgart and only half an hour was left until their first team meeting in this international break.

Marco remembered the first time he had been called up for Germany. Of course, nothing could top what he had felt then, but this right now was something that came near to it. He could hardly sit in one place and his legs were aching. He wanted to be on the pitch again and score for his country, make millions happy with a single shot. He loved playing for Borussia Dortmund and he wasn’t going to trade it for anything as he had decided months ago, but representing Germany was something totally different. He was one of his nation’s bests and that was saying something in the case of their homeland.

“Calm down, Marco! God, you are as excited as a six year old!” Mats giggled next to him and his comment was greeted with a wave of laughter.

Dortmund were in great form in the Bundesliga, so it was natural that Jogi had called up a lot of their players. Their contingent consisted of Mats, Marco, Ilkay, Erik, Kevin, Mathias and Roman. They had been joined by two royal blue players: Benni and Julian. They might have been arch rivals on the pitch, but Marco had always liked their presence. Benni was a born leader, he always had a few nice words to every player and he had even visited Marco once right after his outing. Julian, on the other hand, was one of the biggest jokers the German national team had and Marco could only hope that he wouldn’t get paired with Kevin or Thomas because then all hell would break loose.

“It’s easy for you guys.” Marco grumbled.

“It will be as easy for you, too.” Benni reassured him. “Jogi wouldn’t have called you up if he hadn’t trusted you and we all know that you are ready. So calm down and enjoy the free care paid by the generous tax players of Germany.”

“It’s not that I think I will flop. But it’s been almost a year since my last game for the Mannschaft and I’m eager to shut up every hater’s mouth.”

“All the best, at least we won’t have to do anything, you will take care of our goals.” Kevin leaned back in his seat.

“Yeah, as if you could contribute to our goals.” Julian snorted jokingly but he came to regret his decision when Kevin punched him in the arm. Their innocent teasing was greeted with another laughter, but this time Marco joined the others, too. Playing for the national team was fun.

The minibus pulled over to the hotel’s driveway and stopped before the building’s entrance. Julian opened the door and let everyone get out before he climbed out with a theatrical movement that drew a few smiles. In the meantime, their chauffeur opened the tailgate and started removing their suitcases from the trunk in an astonishing tempo.

“Here, let me help you.” Marco stepped closer to him, while his mates checked out the building. He had never loved when others did the ‘hard’ job for him. He was a famous footballer, not a cripple who couldn’t get out his own luggage from a car.

“Thank you.” The driver accepted his assistance with a smile.

Soon, the car was unloaded and the players were climbing up the stair leading to the entrance. Mats walked at the head, talking with Benni. They opened the door and one by one, they entered the hotel, with Marco ending the line.

“Marco!” Mario shouted cheerfully when he saw the blonde.

Marco didn’t have time to react, the brunette’s body hit him with all force, nearly knocking him over. He wrapped his arms around Marco’s neck and pulled him into a tight embrace that felt a bit uncomfortable to the Dortmund winger. He could hear Thomas snicker somewhere behind Mario. Only a year earlier, the Bayern player would have shouted ‘GAY!’ all over the lobby but this time, he was tactful enough to hold himself back, although Marco could have sworn that he had the same comment on his mind again.

Not that Marco would have minded if he had cried out again. Maybe this time, he would be able to actually enjoy it and laugh lightheartedly at the innocent teasing. Earlier, his stomach had clenched and he had looked around concerned if anyone had noticed something about him. The constant fear of being exposed had been hard to endure and he felt so relieved ever since he had assumed his true identity.

“Okay, I think you can let go of me now.” Marco mumbled when the younger one’s hug grew wearisome.

“Sorry.” Mario smiled sheepishly. “I’m just so happy for you and glad that you are back.”

“Me too.” Marco nodded. “That’s why it would be great if you didn’t strangle me on my first day.”

“Okay, everyone!” They heard one of their coach’s voice blasting through the lobby. “Now that we are all here, we should move to the conference room for our meeting. You can leave your luggage here, at the end of the meeting you will get your room assignments.”

“Let’s go, I’ve already reserved the two best seats for us.” Mario whispered and he started off, urging Marco to follow him.

The blonde shook his head disbelievingly. Mario and he had always been the national team’s naughty schoolboys always giggling in the last row during meetings. Marco was sure that Jogi didn’t like it at all, but all their indiscipline was forgotten when they took on the pitch and did wonders for their country.

Mario didn’t disappoint him. The young midfielder was waving at him from the furthest chair from where their national coach stood. Marco nodded at Jogi and walked to his best friend. He slumped down next to Mario and flinched when the brunette shoved a smart phone in his face to take a selfie with him. Well, if Marco was excited to be with the national team, Mario was twice worse.

“Settle down, everyone!” Jogi tried to get their attention, but it took a few minutes until his words took effect. He was a patient man though and he didn’t repeat what he had said. “Welcome back to the Mannschaft! In the next two week, we will be your family and you won’t hold any old grudges against your relatives, do I make myself clear? I don’t care what clubs you play for, here you represent your country and I expect from you a suitable behavior. There is no rivalry, only friendly cooperation.” Marco chuckled as Mario mouthed their coach’s usual words with him.

“I’m glad you enjoy yourselves so much, Reus and Götze.” Jogi shot a disapproving glance at them. “Let’s see if you will be this amused after an extra set of exercises in training. As I was saying, we have two very important games ahead of us. The qualification didn’t go the way we had planned so far and we must work really hard to be at our best. I demand absolute focus from you.” He wasn’t so accepting with little mischiefs. There was no wonder; the national team dropped a lot of points in the European qualifications and he was under enormous pressure.

“We will have a lighter training this afternoon, but from tomorrow, there will be no excuses. Now let’s proceed to your room assignments. When you hear your names, you stand up and go to the reception. You fill out their forms and spend an hour in your rooms, _relaxing_. You will get your kits after the first training session.”

He started to call out their names in pairs. It was all the usual over again, Marco could have told who was staying with whom. When Jogi reached Mario on his list, the blonde got ready to stand up with his friend, but it wasn’t his name that followed.

“–Draxler.”

Mario and Marco looked at each other but there was not much they could do. The two young players left the room and Marco looked around, trying to find out who he was going to stay with. There weren’t many options left and one looked less probable than the other. Their coach kept reading their names until only Marco and Erik were left in the room. The young defender looked as surprised as Marco was; he must have expected to stay with Matze. Jogi though didn’t notice their bafflement or if he did, he hid it very well.

“Erik, please go ahead, I want to have a word with Marco.”

The brunette nodded and left in silence. Marco stood up and walked to his coach in the same manner. He looked at Jogi questioningly, he had no idea what was going on and he was eager to hear an explanation.

“I’d like to welcome you back personally, Marco.” The old man smiled at him. “We’ve missed you and I hope that you will make a big contribution. Jürgen has reassured me that I can count on you and that you would deal with any unpleasant occurrences well. I trust him and I trust you, but still, I think we should let the public know. There will be a press conference tomorrow and I’d like you to–”

“I’ll be there.” Marco said. He didn’t want to attend a press conference, but he had no other choice. If he had said no, he would have only proved that his coaches were wrong for believing in him.

“Good. We will let them ask only four or five questions, so you don’t have to worry. And of course, no inquiries about your personal life.”

“Yes, I know.” Marco snorted annoyed because if Jogi had trusted him, he wouldn’t have emphasized this that much.

“Okay, that’s it for me. If you don’t have anything else on your mind, you can go.”

“I’d like to know why I can’t share a room with Mario.” Marco asked.

“Because I said so.” Was the simple answer.

“But I’d like to know, why. Everyone was paired with his usual roommate.”

“Don’t search for anything behind it, Marco. It was my decision and that’s it. I think the team could use if you and Erik understood each other better on the pitch and that’s why I want you to spend more time together. Or do you have something against him?” Jogi looked at him but Marco could see that he wasn’t really interested in his opinion.

“No.” The blonde shook his head.

“Good. Then you should join him now. We’ll see each other in training.” The coach ended their discussion and Marco went to the lobby. Erik was standing next to the receptionist’s desk, beaming at him.

“I’ve filled out the form for you, you only have to sign it.” He said when Marco reached him.

“Thanks.” He nodded and quickly signed the paper. The clerk smiled at them and handed them the key to their room.

Erik took it and they grabbed their suitcases before they walked to the elevator. The third floor of the hotel was a buzzing hive, with football players running up and down the corridor, trying to share all their stories with everyone at the same time, ignoring their coach’s wish. Marco smiled to himself as they walked down the hallway. Erik opened the door and let him in first.

“Which bed would you like to have?” Erik asked and Marco shrugged. The defender walked past him and put his bag on the bed further from the door. “I’ll go and talk with Matze.” Erik announced and left the room immediately.

Marco lay down on his bed and fished out his phone from his pocket. He typed a short message and sent it to Seb.

_Arrived safely. Talk in the evening._

He sighed. No, he didn’t have anything against Erik, but his boyfriend did. Marco didn’t know why, but Seb thought that Erik still had a crush on Marco. Okay, the defender tried to spend as much time with him as possible and he sometimes acted like a stupid fangirl, but Marco had rejected him clearly and there was no way he would try a move for him, Marco was sure of that. But in that case, why did he have such a bad feeling about the days ahead?

 

* * *

 

Jogi had kept his promise and their first training the next day was the most tiring training Marco had had recently. When they were finished, he collapsed on the pitch and had to just sit there for a few minutes to catch his breath again. But he didn’t have much time; he had to get ready for the press conference. The national coach had made sure that he hadn’t changed his mind in the night, but Marco wasn’t one to back down. In a way, he had had enough of the hiding and avoiding publicity. He wanted to finally stand in front of everyone and show the world that he had closed that chapter in his life and was now looking forward to the future.

He took a quick shower and put on a fresh kit. The team went back to the hotel and had a delicious lunch. Then, everyone apart from Marco and André retired to their rooms. The press conference was due at one o’clock and they had only five minutes left. They were waiting in a small room next to the conference room.

“Are you alright?” André asked concerned. Marco was really anxious, but he wanted to get through this equally much. He knew that he could trust the national team’s spokesman and that he would stop any inappropriate questions, but still, the images of his press conference in Dortmund flashed in his mind. It was the last press conference he had attended and for a long time, he had thought that it was going to be his last one.

“Yeah, just nervous.” Marco nodded.

“You’re going to be fine.” André winked at him reassuringly.

“Guys, we are ready for you.” A staff member entered and led them to the conference room.

As soon as they stepped over the threshold, flashlights of a hundred cameras blinded them. They walked to the long desk that had been placed on the podium since yesterday and they sat down on each side of the spokesman.

“Good afternoon, everyone. Welcome to our first press conference ahead of Germany’s qualification game against Slovakia. We welcome Marco Reus and André Schürrle who are ready to answer your questions. Because of our limited time, I’d like to ask you to ask only one question and state clearly your name, the medium you are working for and which player you are addressing. Thank you, and I think we can start now.”

“Lothar Roth, Kicker.” A man initiated the round of questions. “Marco, could you tell us how do you feel about being in the national team again?”

Marco sighed relieved. It was the perfect warming-up question, almost a routine one. But he wasn’t a fool; he knew there would be harder ones, too. “Yes, it’s a wonderful feeling. It is one thing to play for your club, but I’ve always said that playing for your country is something special. I get to play with the best players in the world and we are a fantastic party. There’s always a good atmosphere around us but of course we are aware of the expectations of our fans and we will do everything to meet them. We have two very important matches ahead of us in this international break and our aim is to get six points and I hope that I will be able to make a big contribution, but of course, the team’s success comes first.”

“Simon Bremm, FAZ.” Another man spoke up just when Marco finished. “It’s fair to say that the German national team haven’t started their qualification for the European Championship the way it was expected. What do you think, can you turn around your fortunes? I’d like to know both players’ opinion.”

“Absolutely.” André started. “We fell behind our own expectations and we are determined to change that. We owe this to our fans and to ourselves so we don’t lack motivation, that’s for sure. We play away from home first and in my opinion that is the bigger challenge for us. If we win there, we can return to Germany with a big momentum and we can bring it to home soil. That would be the best scenario.”

“Marco? Would you like to add something?” The spokesman asked and the blonde shook his head. “Then we can move on to the next question.”

“Beate Maas, Bild.” _Here we go,_ Marco sighed. “Marco, ahead of the match in Slovakia, aren’t you afraid of the fans’ reception?”

“Not really.” Marco said. He had been ready for this question and knew exactly what he had to say. “I believe that the fans will be there because of the football to be played and nothing else.”

The spokesman looked at Marco surprised but with appreciation in his eyes. Marco smiled under his breath. He knew he had done well and why should he tell anyone that they had agreed on this sentence with Seb the previous evening? One was supposed to have an advisor, right?

From there, the press conference was easy. No one went further than Bild in referring to Marco’s sexual orientation and the possible harassment and Marco started to actually enjoy himself. A few Slovak reporters asked them about their opinion on their national team, the players and Marco answered the usual rounds of praises and mutual appreciation.

They finished half an hour later and as Marco left the podium, he got out his cell phone from his pocket. He looked at the display expectantly and indeed, a few seconds later it lit up and the device buzzed, signaling a new message. Marco opened it immediately.

_You did well, although the next time you should wait until you get out of the camera’s view before you start texting your attached boyfriend. :P I’m proud of you, love._

Marco chuckled. His life seemed so perfect; he was in top form, he had a wonderful boyfriend and he was back with the national team so why wouldn’t he be happy? And he hoped that Seb was enjoying himself, too. He had made Seb and Marcel promise that they would watch his match together and honestly, Marco was a bit afraid of the outcome. Other than that, he was completely happy and content with his life. If only he could grasp the shadow lurking in the near future…

 

* * *

 

“Do you think that Marco will start today?” Marcel asked, placing two packs of beer on the coffee table.

“Are you planning another drinking contest or what?” Seb asked, slumping down on the couch. He certainly didn’t decline a good cold beer from time to time, but he wasn’t _that_ heavy drinker.

“No, no, I’ve learned my lesson in Sydney!” Marcel burst out laughing.

“That’s good to know.” Seb smiled.

“That’s it? No teasing, no laughing at me?”

“Nope, I’ve promised Marco that I would behave well. And by the way, he won’t start today.”

“Such an optimistic boyfriend.” Marcel snorted and he opened a can of beer.

“That’s not my opinion.” Seb said dryly, following the older one’s example. “I’ve called him and he told me that he wouldn’t start.”

“Oh, and how did he take it?” Marcel asked concerned. He had listened to Marco’s rants enough times whenever he wasn’t in a starting eleven despite him being fit.

“Well, he wasn’t really glad. But Jogi has a point. He wants to make Marco start in Germany, where he wouldn’t get such a heated welcome.”

“Do you think it will be the case today?” Marcel jerked his head up. He still remembered the match Dortmund had played against Bayern and the horrible state Marco had returned in from Bavaria.

“I hope not, but anything can happen.” Seb sighed. “Honestly, I’m not sure if he should have left. It will never be easy for him anymore but abroad, his gayness might be a sore spot.”

“You care about him a lot, don’t you?” Marcel asked quietly.

“Of course I do!” Seb snapped. He looked really angry. “You must be blind if you think that he doesn’t mean everything to me! I don’t know what your problem with me is, but you’re certainly not making my life easier!”

“Seb, stop that, please.” Marcel said calmly. “I don’t have anything against you. In fact, I think that you are perfect for Marco. Almost too perfect.”

“What?” Seb stammered. He dropped his jaw and forgot to close his mouth.

“You heard it right.” Marcel laughed. “I’m not saying I like you, but I don’t hate you, either. Sometimes you are a jerk. Okay, oftentimes. But in the meantime, you are the best boyfriend Marco could ever find. Whenever you are around, he’s so relaxed and balanced. Do you want to hear the truth from my point of view? For years, Marco came to me whenever he had a problem. We worked out something and we had great fun. And then, you came along and you changed everything. I’m now Marco’s number two.”

“You want to say that you’re jealous of me?” Seb asked.

“Something like that.” Marcel chuckled, amused. “I know it sounds strange and lame, but the fact is, I felt that I was losing Marco’s friendship because of you. And I considered you an egoistic dick who doesn’t deserve his love and affection. But, you’ve proved numerous times that I was wrong and that actually, you are a cool guy.”

“Wow, Marcel, this was so deep.” Seb said with a hint of mockery in his voice.

“And what about you? What’s your confession to me?” Marcel teased him.

“Let’s remain realistic; I won’t open my heart to you out of nothing. But I appreciate your honesty.” Seb winked at him, and they burst out laughing.

“And how are you doing, Seb? Have you gotten used to working?”

“Well, yeah.” Seb smiled. “It’s not as much fun as staying at home all day, but I manage. And I enjoy it, most of the time.”

“Will you be again on the bench?”

“Not for now.” The raven-haired snickered. “I’m helping out with the second team.”

“The kids must love you.” Marcel noted with sarcasm.

“What kids? They are almost my age!” Seb exclaimed.

“Yeah, but mentally you must be at the same level.” Marcel snorted.

“I could retort to that, but I’m better than that.” Seb said. The truth was that they had had a very serious chat with Marco and he was actually afraid of the blonde’s eventual vengeance. It wasn’t how he had imagined ‘giving Marcel a second chance’, but if his boyfriend wanted them to get along well, Seb wasn’t going to stand in the way. “How is your club going?”

“Better and better. You should come and see it one time.”

“I don’t think it’s my style.” Seb shrugged. “And I probably wouldn’t pass your dress code.”

“We can make a few exceptions.” Marcel winked at him.

And that was it. They ran out of topics. They sipped their beers, deep in thought, avoiding each other’s eyes. What had Marco expected? They weren’t best buddies, they couldn’t spend an entire evening together, entertaining the other one. The silence was more than awkward, and it had to be much worse to Seb because he was feeling uncomfortable in his own home. Practically, it was still Marco’s house, but he didn’t think of it as such. He had wanted to move into a bigger house with the blonde, but it somehow hadn’t worked out and now he didn’t give it a thought anymore. They were enjoying themselves and Seb didn’t want to change it.

Fortunately, the players entered the pitch and Seb could focus on the match instead of the man sitting a meter away from him. The broadcast showed Marco for a second during the anthems but that was it; he wasn’t the most important actor, at least not for the director. The game started and Seb couldn’t get his eyes off the TV screen. He watched the players, trying to deduct the tactics and the outcome, just like he usually did.

“Hummels. Schweinsteiger. Schürrle. Kroos. Götze. Miss.” He commented the proceedings, only a second earlier than they actually happened.

“Could you please stop that?” Marcel snapped.

“What?”

“Doing this. It’s annoying. Just sit back and enjoy the game, don’t analyze it.”

“What’s the point in watching a football game without analyzing it?” Seb asked back with sincere bewilderment.

“Forget it.” Marcel sighed. “Could you at least do it silently?”

“Come on, you should tell your opinion, too.” Seb said driven by a sudden idea. “Whatever you think. I won’t laugh at you, I promise.”

“No, I’ll leave the smart things for you.” Marcel shook his head.

“Marcel, it will remain between us!”

“Seb, no.” Marcel stopped him and turned back to the TV.

Seb glanced at him but then followed his example. The ball was at the guests, they passed it around on the half-way line. The hosts were all behind the ball, marking the German attackers tightly. It was only boring passing for the sake of possession and the fans in the stadium sounded their dissatisfaction with whistling.

“This takes too long.” Marcel burst out suddenly, clearly surprised by his own revelation. Seb only smiled; he knew that he could get out this reaction from people.

“Excellent!” He reassured Marcel. “You see, the buildup of our attacks is too slow and it gives the defense time to fall in. It’s practically what you said, only more professionally. Now they must find a way to break that stable wall of midfielders so expect some giveaways.”

Just as he said it, the Slovaks got the ball and started a quick counterattack, only to be stopped by Neuer well out of his penalty box. _Typical of him_ , Seb noted to himself and saved this moment for further analysis. It might have been an international game, but Bayern still were Dortmund’s opponent and the two teams could still meet in the cup.

“Wow.” Marcel was left in awe. “You really know what you’re talking about. But you don’t want to tell me that you know the way through their defense, right?”

“Well, Kroos might be the better footballer, but I guess I’m the better mind.” Seb snickered.

The next ten minutes were full of experimenting for the German team. They tried to break the defensive wall in every imaginable way, but they didn’t find a channel through. Soon, they ran out of ideas and the match became a pain to watch, at least for German supporters. Seb and Marcel might have lost their interest, but just before half-time, something happened that drew their attention.

André sat down on the pitch hurt and signaled towards the bench that he had to be substituted. Seb grabbed the armrest of the couch just a bit harder as the camera focused on Marco quickly getting prepared to take the other blonde’s place. He was ready in no time and a minute after André hobbled off the pitch, Marco entered, welcome with sparse whistles and shouts.

“He’s going to handle it. He’s strong.” Marcel nodded, noticing Seb’s white knuckles.

“I know.”

The half-time came soon and the teams went back to their locker rooms. It was a goalless draw, but Seb knew that they could expect some action after the teams returned. He was proved right in the fifty-third minute. Mario cut through the defense and lay the ball for Marco who couldn’t miss it from that position. He ran to Mario and embraced him, both of them in rapture.

“Yes!” Marcel yelled, flinging his arm in the air and, although Seb shared his enthusiasm, the younger one smiled at him. He wasn’t going to celebrate until the match was over.

His boyfriend on the other hand, enjoyed himself very much. He realized that the camera was fixed on him. He turned towards it and grabbed his left wrist with his other hand, brushing over the tattoo Seb had traced over just a few days earlier. Seb smiled at the gesture; Marco had promised to score a goal for him and he had fulfilled that promise.

And that goal seemed to have opened the floodgates, with the German attack much more confident and fluid. They had chance after chance and Toni’s long range effort doubled their lead just after the one hour mark.

The home supporters were angry at their players who had done a great job in the first half. The play got more and more aggressive, full of late tackles and shoving away players. The referee had a lot of things to do. He did what he could, but he couldn’t control the game anymore. A sending off would have helped but he was too careful to do that and the audience answered with whistling to every of his calls against the home side.

Despite the nasty football played, the Mannschaft kept pushing and when only ten minutes were left from the match, Marco lost his man and dribbled past the remaining opponents. He wasn’t one to miss in a one-on-one situation. This time, they celebrated for less time, as if they wanted to be over with this match already without getting hurt because the atmosphere had gotten really hostile.

The Slovak players placed the ball on the center spot and restarted the game only to lose possession immediately. Schweinsteiger passed to Marco who started off towards the goal again, driven by the possibility of a hat-trick. What happened next, Seb saw in slow-motion.

A defender charged at Marco with a sliding tackle. His feet were nowhere near the ball and hit Marco’s ankle with full force. The stadium was still silent after the conceded goal so the blonde’s painful cry could be heard even through the TV broadcast. Marco fell to the ground and he curled up there, grabbing his leg, flinching in pain.

And he didn’t get up.


	26. Comfort

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge huge thanks goes to Blue Night for the wonderful work she does week after week. This story and I owe you a lot!
> 
> Be sure to share your thoughts about this chapter, I will have more time for writing the next days and some feedback would definitely boost my motivation. :-)

“Oh. My. God.” Marcel sighed as they showed the impact again in slow-motion.

The defender had hit Marco with both feet in his ankle and it gave way to the pressure, twisting in a very unnatural way. Marco had screamed immediately and had grabbed his ankle before he had fallen to the ground, and it must have been a very unpleasant landing, by the look of it.

Now the blonde was lying on his back, his head buried in his hands. The national team’s doctors examined his foot. They had already taken off his shoe and had cut away his sock. Another medical team was standing by with a stretcher and Marco’s teammates had gathered around the midfielder. The offender had been sent off immediately and he hadn’t even argued.

Marcel forced himself to turn away from the TV and look at Seb, breathing heavily next to him. The younger one’s face was pale and he looked ready to throw up any moment. He couldn’t blame him; just when everything was going on well, this happened. He stood up and walked to the raven-haired. He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to do it, but he hugged him with one arm and pulled him closer.

“Seb, I’m sorry.” He sighed.

“For what?” Seb snapped and got out of the contact. He sprung up and strode to the window. His fists were clenched and Marcel could have sworn that he was going to hit something. “You haven’t done anything. Why be sorry then?”

“Yes, I know I haven’t done anything. It was that shithead!” Marcel burst out. “I can’t believe it. Just because Marco is–”

“Don’t even finish that!” Seb spun around. His eyes were furious and he looked really frightening. Marcel recoiled from the sight. “If it had been someone else, he would have stopped him the same way. He didn’t foul Marco because he’s gay. He was frustrated because his team was losing and he took it out on Marco. That’s it. Period.”

Marcel looked at him incredulously. He couldn’t believe his ears. Was Seb really _defending_ that player? The moment his boyfriend was lying on the pitch in horrible pain, he was making up excuses for the one that had put him there?

“What?” He snapped. “Are you serious?”

“Yes.” Seb said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He had this annoying characteristic, Marcel thought.

“Why are you doing this? Marco is in pain and you–”

“And I want nothing more than go to Slovakia and kill that guy. But I can’t do that. So what’s the use in fuming?”

“How can you be like that?” Marcel shook his head. Seb was incredible and he had just made Marcel remember why he had disliked him in the first place. “You are acting as if Marco didn’t mean anything to you. His your boyfriend, for fuck’s sake! You should be upset!”

“I _am_ upset!” Seb yelled. “But I don’t want to see more into that tackle than what is there to be seen. And I don’t want Marco to be a victim. I don’t see him as one; he’s stronger than that. He deserves to be given more credit to, don’t you think?”

“I– I–” Marcel stammered.

He tried to come up with an argument, but he couldn’t. Essentially, Seb was right. Marco’s self-pitying hadn’t done him good and Marcel didn’t want him to make the same mistake again. His look of scorn had turned into one of awe. He couldn’t do anything but acknowledge Seb’s levelheadedness. He had kept his cool again and had already found the way for Marco to deal with this injury. It seemed as if Seb didn’t even care about his own feelings: his whole life was spinning around Marco and that’s what had always amazed Marcel. The love and affection this man had for Marco was unmatched.

“Tell me, how serious that injury is?” Marcel asked the most important question that was the hardest to ask at the same time.

“I don’t know, I’m not a doctor.” Seb said, but Marcel saw that he was lying. He knew all too well what kind of injury Marco had picked up. And yet, he didn’t want to say it out loud and it made Marcel worried.

“Come on, you’ve seen all his matches. There’s no one who knows him more than you. Tell me!” Marcel demanded.

Seb sighed and he slowly looked at Marcel with a dead serious face and sadness in his eyes. “He will be out for a month if he’s lucky. If he’s not, his season is over.”

 

* * *

 

The doctors hadn’t told him anything and Marco knew it meant bad news. He was lying on a hospital bed. The neon light was stabbing his eyes and he was on the verge of crying. He had cried on the way to the hospital, but his agony was too strong to let his tears dry up. He had gotten a lot of painkillers, but they had only dulled the pain. This was serious, something that could rule him out for a long time.

He lay there in silence, waiting for the doctors’ consultation to come to an end. He wasn’t expecting to learn more after that, but he wanted to be out of this hospital as soon as possible. He wanted to be in Seb’s arms, most of all, but he had to content himself with the text message his boyfriend had sent him.

_Call me whenever you want to_.

It was typical Seb: no useless solacing, no empty words and no false hopes. Seb knew that nothing of these could have worked on Marco right now. The blonde had touched bottom and there was a long and laborious way up. He sighed and closed his eyes to hold back his tears that had welled up. He took a few deep breaths until he calmed down as much as he could. Brooding over his bad fortune wasn’t going to help him, Seb had taught him this much. There was no anger in him, only numbness. Only a couple of hours earlier, he was his nation’s hero; the man who had turned around Germany’s form in the qualification phase. And now, he was a useless player out injured. It was such a sudden change that he couldn’t digest it. His brain had blocked all feelings until later and Marco had gone through worse to know that his agony had only just begun. When the feelings finally arrived, it would all get a level worse.

He opened his eyes and started to type a reply to Seb’s message. _I’m not ready yet._ That would do it. His boyfriend was a patient man, he was going to understand Marco. The blonde didn’t know when he was going to be ready to face reality. He didn’t know _if_ he was going to be ready to do that. In the depth of his heart he still hoped that he would suddenly wake up next to Seb, the tackle just a dream. But the pain was too real.

“Okay, Marco.” The head doctor walked to his bed. “The situation is the following: Unfortunately we can’t tell you the exact seriousness of the injury. We will have to make further examinations tomorrow to judge it.” Yeah, sure, Marco snorted. It was the usual trash talk to avoid hurting the players. They must have known the extent of the injury, they just didn’t want to tell him. “But we can leave the hospital, I mean if it’s okay with you.”

“Yes.” Marco nodded faintly.

“Okay, I will get a wheelchair, then.”

“No! I won’t be helped out, I’m going to leave on my own.”

“Marco, I’m sorry, but I can’t let you do that. Your foot is really swollen and you shouldn’t strain it…”

“Then get me crutches, I don’t care! But no wheelchair!” Marco snapped. He wasn’t going to look weak. The doctor shook his head disbelievingly but he agreed in the end and left to arrange the crutches. In the meantime, a younger medic entered with a temporary cast in his hands. He walked to the end of Marco’s bed and looked at the blonde a bit afraid. He clearly wasn’t used to have to deal with international footballers.

“Um, I will be gentle, but it still will hurt. If you need to take a break then–”

“Just put it on me already!” Marco snarled and the doctor nodded.

He grabbed Marco’s leg and lifted it a bit. It was already very painful and Marco hissed in helplessness. The medic slid the cast under his leg and carefully placed the limb in it. He closed the cast and it now held Marco’s ankle firmly.

“I know it is too tight, but it has to be to stop further injury. You will get used to it soon.” He patted Marco’s shoulder and left.

Yeah, he was definitely going to get used to it. Because getting used to not being able to do the only thing that satisfies you is so easy. What would this punk do if someone casted his hand? Would he get used to it and carry on cheerfully? Marco didn’t think so. He couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. The painkillers might have eased the physical pain, but it wasn’t enough.

“Do you need some time?” Marco hadn’t realized that the head physio was standing next to him with two crutches.

“Yes, please.” Marco croaked out. The doctor nodded and left again.

Marco wiped away the tears and styled his hair a little bit. He was still wearing his football kit but there was a coat on the nightstand. He sat up, hissing from the sudden pain. He swung his legs and crawled to the edge of bed. He reached for the coat and put it on with no real difficulty. His movements were empty of any emotion, he knew he was falling into a depression but he didn’t have the strength to do anything about it. He grabbed the crutches and slowly slid down, placing all his weight on his healthy foot. He faltered to the door and swung it open.

“Marco!” The national teams’ doctors looked at him in horror. “You should have called us to help you.”

“We can go.” Marco snarled. He was exhausted even after this little strain and he didn’t know how long he could hold himself up on his hands.

Their company started off and walked down the corridor to the elevator. While they were waiting for it, Marco lost his balance and he would have fallen to the ground, if a strong arm hadn’t held him up. The blonde looked to the direction of his assistant. The young medic that had put on his cast looked back at him disapprovingly, but he didn’t say anything. The elevator’s doors opened and they entered the cabin.

They proceeded to the national team’s rented car cautiously. There were a few reporters around and they started to take pictures madly. Marco didn’t care about them. There were only a few meters left to the car that would hide him from all nosy eyes. But when he reached the car, he didn’t know what to do. There was no way he could get in on his own. Before he could come up with anything, the medic slid under his shoulder and grabbed his legs just above his knees. He lifted Marco and placed him carefully on the backseat. Just like a cargo, Marco thought.

But, the damage was done and the car drove off. They were in the hotel fifteen minutes later and once again, Marco could get out of the car only with aid. Jogi had been waiting for them in the lobby. He walked to Marco and patted his shoulders encouragingly. He didn’t say anything, all conversation was done with a questioning look behind the midfielder’s back and a faint shake of the head from the head doctor.

“Marco!” Mario’s voice cut through the lobby. “What happened? How serious is it?” The brunette asked with concerned eyes.

“They don’t know yet.” Marco sighed. They shared a knowing look with Mario; they both knew what this meant.

“But it won’t get any better if Marco doesn’t have a rest.” The national trainer cut their conversation short. “And I advise you to do the same if you want to stay in the squad for the next game.”

Mario nodded and offered to accompany Marco to his room. The two friends started off, Marco suffering to hold his weight on the crutches but they eventually reached the door to Erik’s and his room. Marco could see light under the door; Erik wasn’t sleeping yet. Mario knocked on the door and they entered. The young defender sprung up from his bed instantly and shot a worried glance at Marco.

“How are you doing?”

“Great.” Marco grumbled. “Can’t you just leave me alone?” He snapped as he made his way to his bed. He sat down and threw the crutches to the corner angrily. They made an awful noise and Erik was sure that it had woken up everyone on the floor.

The two brunettes looked at Marco and then at each other. _Leave him be_ , Mario said with his eyes before he wished them a good night and left.

“Marco, I’m so sorry.” Erik started, but Marco stopped him.

“Don’t tell me you are sorry!” He emphasized every word. “It won’t solve anything!” He punched the bed angrily and he lied down, swinging his legs. “Fuck!” He cried out when his injured foot feel on top of the other one.

“Marco!” Erik rushed to him, making sure he was okay. He put his hand on Marco’s shoulder, but the older one shoved it away.

“Don’t touch me! Leave me alone, Erik!” Marco yelled and the defender pulled back hurt and afraid. The blonde noticed his feelings and shot him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, Erik. I know you mean good, but it just won’t help me now.”

The defender nodded and walked back to his bed. He sat down, facing Marco. The blonde smiled at him weakly but Erik saw through that faint smile. He could only imagine the physical and mental pain Marco felt. He had never seen him this broken and angry, not even after his coming out.

“How did the match end?” Marco finally asked.

“Well, your injury spurred everyone. Mario put one past them and then Thomas converted a penalty. We won 5–0.”

“Good.” Marco nodded. “Sleep well, Erik.” He turned around, face to the wall now.

Erik sighed and switched off the light. He crawled under the cover and shut his eyes. He couldn’t sleep and he was sure that Marco wouldn’t fall asleep that easily, either. Seeing him hurt was hard to accept for Erik. He waited for the dreams to come, but they just wouldn’t do so. And when it felt like the sleep was finally near, Erik heard his teammate sobbing next to him.

“Marco!” Erik gasped. He didn’t care about any precautions or what he was supposed to do. He crawled out of bed and sat down next to the blonde. He put his hand on Marco’s back, while he stroked his hair soothingly with the other one. To his surprise, Marco leaned into the touch, and put his head in Erik’s lap.

“Let it all out, Marco.” Erik whispered.

 

* * *

 

The next day Marco was driven straight to Dortmund hospital as soon as the plane with the national team landed. The Mannschaft was playing in Gelsenkirchen in four days again. Seb was pacing up and down in the hospital corridor. He should have been at work right now, but he simply couldn’t stay there when he knew what his boyfriend was going through. He didn’t let it show, but he had spent the night awake, waiting for Marco’s call. It hadn’t come and Seb was afraid. He hadn’t heard anything about Marco ever since that injury and he was afraid that he blonde could fall back into self-pity.

The door leading to Marco’s ward was swung open and BVB’s head physio walked out. He glanced questioningly at Seb.

“Are you sure Kloppo knows about you being here?”

“That’s not important.” Seb said. “Can I see him now?”

“You should. And take him home. I’ve told him all my instructions so just make sure he keeps them.”

Seb nodded and ran past the doctor. He burst into the ward. Marco was lying on a hospital bed, typing impassively into his phone. He glanced at Seb and he smiled. He was in a much better state than the raven-haired had expected him to be.

“I was about to call you.”

“No need to do that anymore.” Seb smiled back reassuringly. “You can’t expect me to keep away when you need me.”

“No, I can’t.” Marco snickered amused.

“What’s the diagnosis?” Seb addressed the elephant in the room.

“Six weeks.” Marco sighed and the delighted twinkle of his eyes had vanished instantly.

“That’s not too bad.” Seb said.

“No.” Marco shook his head. “Could you take me home?” He asked, his voice exhausted. Seb guessed that he hadn’t had an easy night, either.

“What do you think what other reason I have for skipping work?” Seb snickered. He started off towards Marco’s bed but he stopped after only one step. “I guess you still are the strong boy who doesn’t need any help even if it means double the pain?”

“Yeah.” Marco chuckled as he crawled out of the bed, grabbing his crutches. These were black and yellow ones already, suited exactly for his height. It was easier to move around with them. His leg was secured in a plaster cast and it was going to be in it for the next two weeks at least if the doctors weren’t mistaken. And they weren’t in these situations.

Marco finally stood up and they left the ward, faltering towards the exit. The midfielder was making great effort with every step, but he was getting used to the unusual way of getting around. He had been injured many times, but only once this seriously and he couldn’t rely on the old knowledge. This wasn’t like riding a bike; you could forget how to use crutches. Actually, you wanted to forget it as soon as possible once you didn’t need any help walking.

“What the–” Marco recoiled as they reached the parking lot and Seb unlocked a very familiar car that at the same time was so uncommon to be driven by the raven-haired.

“Marcel lent it to us.” Seb beamed at Marco from next to his friend’s jeep. “It’s easier for you to get in and out of it.”

“Let me get this straight: Marcel let you drive his car?”

“What’s so surprising about it? The fact that I _borrowed_ his car, the fact that _I_ borrowed his car or that I borrowed _Marcel’s_ car?”

“All of them?” Marco still stood incredulously a few steps from the vehicle they were talking about.

“Anyways, you should get in because I will leave you here and you can walk all the way back home.”

Seb opened the driver’s door and he leaned over the gear to open the door on the other side. In the meantime, Marco stumbled closer. Seb was right; it was very easy for him to get in. He stepped on the door sill first and he put the crutches in. There was plenty of room for them and Marco could hold onto the door’s armrest in the meantime. He took a deep breath before he tried to climb into the passenger seat, but it was needless; he had no great difficulty.

“Okay, you must tell me what happened between you and Marcel hating each other and him lending you his car. Did I fall unconscious and was in coma for a few months?”

“No.” Seb chuckled. He fastened his seat belt and started the engine. They drove off slowly. “We aren’t best friends forever, but we’ve made some progress I guess. Making sure you get everything you need is the common goal for us so we united our forces.”

“You should go into more details than this.” Marco urged him.

Seb sighed, but he started retelling the events of the previous night nonetheless. It seemed strange, because it was Marco who had more to talk about, but Seb was ready to do anything to get his boyfriend’s mind off his injury. If he had to relive his long evening with Marcel, then so be it. He kept speaking on their whole drive home and came to the end of the story just when they crossed the threshold of their home.

“Thank you, Seb.” Marco smiled at him. “It means a lot to me to know that you two are getting along well.”

“Yeah, and now it’s time for your explanation.” Seb said and Marco looked at him questioningly. “Come on, you have been told that you would miss six weeks of football and you are taking it too well. Who has comforted you? Mario? Mats?”

“Erik.” Marco said and he could see the change on Seb’s face. “Don’t give me that look!”

“What look?”

“Erik and I are only friends, nothing more. There’s no reason for you to be jealous of him.”

“I know.” Seb nodded.

“I mean it, Seb.”

“I told you I knew.” Seb nodded, but he still hasn’t convinced Marco.

“So will you take care of me for the next days?” The blonde asked, trying to avoid a row because it was the last thing he needed right now.

“Nah, I have to work.” Seb beamed at him. “After all those years, finally I will be the one bringing home my pay.”

“I wouldn’t like to shatter your illusions, but I’m still getting my wage and I have plenty of reserves to fend for myself.” Marco snickered.

“You must ruin my joy, don’t you?” Seb laughed and he pointed towards their bedroom. “Get into bed, you must get a lot of rest.”

“Okay, doctor.” Marco lifted his hands in defense but then he remembered that they held the crutches that made him stand so he quickly put them back, stopping himself from falling rather embarrassingly. Seb stepped close to him and he sneaked an arm around his waist, assisting him up the stairs. Marco didn’t mind his help; actually, Seb was the only one who could help him without making him feel powerless or a cripple. Seb sat him down on the bed and placed his crutches against the nightstand.

“What can I bring you? Would you like something to eat or drink?”

“No Seb, I’m fine.” Marco said.

“I’m proud of you.” Seb whispered and he leaned closer to Marco to express his opinion with his lips, as well. The blonde sank into the kiss and for a moment, the dull pain still radiating from his foot stopped. Seb’s skilled lips on his own were the best remedy from any injury, Marco knew that much. But the raven-haired didn’t stop there. Once he drew back, he looked Marco straight in the eyes and said the few words that the blonde had heard many times in the last hours but he could believe them only from Seb. “Everything is going to be fine. You will get back to top form very quickly and do wonders on the pitch again.”

 

* * *

 

Seb left for work the next morning indeed and he did so every single day. For Marco, it was very strange that he was the one left behind at home and most of the time he just stared at the TV bored. Seb suggested that the he could learn something in his spare time, but Marco pointed out that if he had wanted to learn, he wouldn’t have left school in the first place. So his days were full of lazy relaxing and doing nothing. He enjoyed it at first, but he got enough of it quickly. He wasn’t one to sit back; he was more active than that.

Thankfully, Marcel visited him whenever he found the time and it was a pleasant distraction from the ‘gray everyday’. And Marco’s joy got only bigger when Seb got home and Marcel didn’t have to leave immediately because the three of them could carry on a normal conversation, without it getting heated. It seemed like a small step to anyone else, but to Marco, it meant the world. The teasing and insults were gone, something that had been unthinkable just a few days earlier.

They even watched Germany’s next game together. Marcel rolled his eyes over Seb’s commentary, but other than that, they had a great time, mostly because Marco’s teammates won easily. It seemed that they were back on the right track again in the qualifications. And every player would be back in Dortmund; they still would have trainings but after that, Marco was sure that they would visit him. He needed company and while he couldn’t get enough of Seb, seeing his teammates would definitely help him.

And indeed, the day after the national team’s match, there was a knock on his door. Marco hobbled to the front door and opened it.

“Erik?” He recoiled.

“I hope I didn’t wake you up.” The defender said sheepishly, staring at his own feet. Marco checked his clothes. Okay, he wasn’t dressed like a top model but he wasn’t wearing pajamas, either. His clothes had to be as comfortable as possible.

“No, come on in.” Marco smiled. He stepped aside and Erik entered the house. “Can I get you something?”

“No, thanks.”

“This way.” Marco pointed towards the living room, his base for his waking hours. Erik looked completely lost and awed in Marco’s home.

“Where’s Seb?” He asked.

“Working. Pretty strange, I have to admit.” Marco smiled. “Please, take whatever you would like.” He pointed at the table that was packed with different drinks and snacks. Seb might have been working every day, but once he got home, he committed his entire time for satisfying Marco’s every need. The blonde found it ridiculously sweet but he would have been a fool not to exploit it. He had his own personal nurse and completely for free.

“No, thanks.” Erik shook his head. “I just stopped by to check how you are doing. I would have come earlier, but the national team– not that they would have missed me.”

“What do you mean by that?” Marco jerked his head up. He saw that there was sadness in Erik’s eyes.

“Nothing. I just hoped that I would finally play.”

“Erik, you must be patient.” Marco smiled. He knew the defender’s feeling very well. His first days in the national team weren’t much more glorious, either. “You are a great talent but you cannot expect Jogi to play you right now. We are in a very difficult situation and it’s experience that we need. But he likes to work with you, it’s obvious. You will get your chance, just be sure that you will be ready for it.”

“Do you really think so?” Erik asked, his face a bit more cheerful. “That Jogi likes to work with me?”

“Sure.” Marco nodded. “And Kloppo, too. And we. You are very focused and determined to get better. The perfect attitude for a future star.” He winked at him and Erik chuckled. “Listen, about what you did in the hotel, I’d like to thank you.”

“Marco, it’s really nothing.” Erik waved away his thanks, blushing. “Anyone would have done that. You were sad and needed some comfort. I’m glad I could give you that.”

“No, you are wrong.” Marco burst out laughing over a memory. “The first time I got injured on a game I was sharing a room with Mario. He kept ranting at me because I wasn’t sleeping and he couldn’t sleep because of that. So no, not everyone would have talked to me through the entire night, especially if they had training the next day.”

Marco tried to lie down on his couch. He flung his legs but he couldn’t quite lift them high enough. He put them back on the floor angrily, gathering the energy for a second try.

“Here, let me help you.” Erik sprung up and rushed to Marco’s aid. He gently grabbed his legs above his knees and placed them on the couch tenderly.

“Thanks.” Marco mumbled, avoiding Erik’s gaze. He still felt uncomfortable accepting such assistance from anyone else apart from Seb or maybe even Marcel. He leaned back and realized that the pillows behind his head were completely unorganized. “Um, could you please fix these pillows?”

“Sure thing.” Erik beamed. He looked glad to be of help. He bent forward, over Marco’s body and he tugged at the pillows until they were finally in their places. In his struggles, he came closer and closer to Marco and when he was done, their faces were only a few centimeters apart.

“Um, thanks.” Marco mumbled. He was feeling awkward.

“You’re welcome.” Erik sighed. Marco saw something in his eyes that was so familiar and yet so new to him. Erik closed his eyes and closed the distance between them. Marco couldn’t believe what was going on, because only one second later, he felt Erik’s lips on his own.


	27. Complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I must thank two people. First, my gratitude goes to Blue Night for her wonderful betaing and that she always has some time for me and my stories. :-) And secondly, I need to thank Idril_Celebrindal for giving me the final boost to post the new chapter as soon as possible. :-) And of course, I also owe you a thank you, my wonderful audience!  
> I hope you will like it, but anyways, be sure to share your thoughts with me and the other readers. Your feedback is very precious and I always appreciate it. :-)

“Get off me!” Marco snapped, shoving away Erik and then crying out as the defender landed on his hurt leg. Erik sprung up and looked back at him, his face paler than white and his eyes horrified. His actions must have surprised him as much as they had surprised Marco.

“M–Marco, I’m s–s–sorry.” He stuttered. “I don’t know what–”

“Get out of my house.” Marco hissed, refusing to look towards Erik.

“Please, let me explain! It doesn’t–”

“Get out of my fucking house!” Marco yelled at him and it made Erik start crying. Marco didn’t care about it, he wanted to have the defender away from him, ideally for his whole life but he knew it wasn’t going to be that easy.

Erik walked past him, burying his head in his hands and it was only the slamming of Marco’s front door that told the blonde that the brunette had left. Marco felt like an idiot; all this time, Seb had been right. Erik still wasn’t over him. He still loved him hopelessly. And in a way, it was appropriate, because as far as Marco knew, Erik wasn’t going to get close to him. It’s not that he didn’t find the young defender attractive, but he was Seb’s and it was going to stay like that.

How could have he been that stupid? Now he recognized all the signs. Erik sticking to him during trainings. Their conversations and shared laughs. Erik grabbing his hand immediately when they thanked the crowd the support they showed during a match. Erik agreeing to his comments all the time during team talks. And then, the most recent events. Them, sharing a room. Erik, caressing him through one of the hardest times of his life. Marco reassuring him that he was a valuable member to the national team. And finally, him, thanking Erik for his comforting words.

The realization hit him with brute force and it almost overshadowed the dull pain in his foot. To Erik’s troubled heart, it might have seemed that Marco had been encouraging him! The blonde wanted to slap himself for being this ignorant and oblivious. It was easy to blame Erik for everything, but the reality wasn’t that simple. He reached for his cell phone immediately and dialed the brunette’s number, but unsurprisingly, there came no answer. He tried a few other times, but ultimately, he gave up.

He had reacted without thinking and no one could really blame him for it. And yet, he was angry at himself. He should have read the subtle signs or at least, he should have listened to his boyfriend. Or, he should have precluded all this right after Erik had admitted his crush on him. He still felt that helping Erik had been the right thing to do, but maybe, he could have stopped the younger one more straightforwardly without hurting him.

He didn’t know what he was supposed to do. He wanted to call Erik and apologize to him, but at the same time he feared that it would only spur the younger one to believe in something that simply put wasn’t going to happen. On the other hand, if he didn’t call Erik, he couldn’t imagine what the defender was going to go through. It was a totally hopeless situation where he couldn’t talk to anyone. He didn’t have any illusions; if he told one of his teammates, the gossip would spread rapidly and everyone would know about the kiss after an hour. And they might turn against Erik, Marco mused. He didn’t want it to happen, because in a way, he still felt sympathy for the brunette, mostly because he knew what it felt like to be crazy in love with someone and at the same time only have an unfulfilled love. He had lived in the same for two years and it was more than enough for him.

He hit the cushion a number of times in his helplessness. He had gone over all his options, and none seemed possible. His best chance was calling Marcel, but he didn’t feel comfortable sharing this secret with his friend, mostly because it concerned someone whom Marcel didn’t know so well. No, Marco was alone in this and he felt the responsibility with full force. There was only one thing he was sure of: Seb wasn’t supposed to know, at all.

Marco could only guess the things Seb would do to Erik. There were some he didn’t even want to think about. But how was he going to keep it secret from his boyfriend? Seb could read him like an open book and the very moment he would try to lie to him, he would notice that something was wrong. No, he wasn’t going to lie, at least not completely. But was it going to be enough? Could he keep an impassive face when Seb leaned in to kiss him?–

“Shit!” Marco cried out and sprung up from the couch as swiftly as he possibly could. He didn’t even reach for his crutches, he hobbled to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth and washed his face, because what if Seb would taste Erik on him? And then, he panicked.

Once he got back, he inspected the living room, looking for any signs that would give him away. He was acting like a paranoid and it possibly wasn’t healthy in a relationship, but it wasn’t because he was afraid of Seb. He knew his boyfriend would never suggest that Marco had made a move. It was out of fear for Erik that he carefully observed the living room inch by inch. He nodded satisfied; it was evidence-clear. He lay back on the couch and waited trembling for the raven-haired to come home. It was the first day since his injury that he wasn’t looking forward to it.

But, he couldn’t avoid the inevitable and he tried to fight the lump in his throat when he heard Seb enter the house. He hadn’t done anything bad, after all and as long as he kept his cool, everything was going to be alright.

“Hello, love!” Seb smiled at him from the doorframe. He crossed the room immediately and stopped before the blonde. “Is everything fine?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Yes.” Marco gulped and managed a faint smile. Things weren’t going as planned. Seb didn’t avert his gaze, he looked Marco deep in the eyes and the midfielder felt as if he was sucking out every information from him.

“This has nothing to do with Erik skipping training this morning, right?” Seb suggested.

“No.” Marco shook his head maybe a bit too eagerly. “Why, he skipped training?” He feigned interest. He felt even worse after this; if meeting him was more important for Erik than training, the younger one must have been totally confused.

“I see.” Seb nodded and Marco let out a relieved sigh. It was all that Seb had been looking for. He jumped next to his boyfriend, squatted down next to him and grabbed his hands. “What did he do?” He inquired and Marco suddenly felt as if he had done something bad after all. Not with the half-kiss, but because he had wanted to keep it back from Seb. But there was no way back anymore. He had to try to convince his boyfriend, even if there was no real chance of success.

“Nothing.” Marco chuckled uneasily. “I haven’t seen him since we landed in Dortmund with the national team.” His heart missed a beat and he felt as if he had just booked his place in hell with this lie.

“If you say so.” Seb shrugged and slumped down in the armchair next to Marco.

There was pain and disappointment on his face and Marco felt really bad about it. After all, what kind of relationship they had if he didn’t think that they could discuss even such a thing? One part of his heart warned him that Seb was only playing with his feelings to get his answer, but another part urged him to speak up and share the events of the morning with his boyfriend. He wasn’t surprised of which voice won in the end; Seb always got what he wanted.

“Okay, I will tell you.” The blonde sighed and Seb looked at him questioningly. His breathing was already heavy and Marco feared what he was going to do when he heard the full truth. “But I want you to promise me that you will listen to me until the end.”

“What’s going on, Marco? You’re scaring me.” Seb stammered.

“I know that if I tell you, you might do something really bad and stupid and I don’t want that. I don’t want to lose you over this, Seb.” Marco begged. “So please, promise me that you won’t do anything that you might come to regret later.”

“I promise.” Seb nodded after seconds of thinking about his options.

“Okay.” Marco drew in a deep breath. “So Erik was here, indeed. We’ve had a great time together with the national team, we shared a room as I’ve told you.” Seb was all nerves but he somehow managed to compose himself. “We’ve come really close as friends and– And I was a fool not to see what was happening in front of my eyes.” Marco’s voice broke.

“Don’t tell me that he tried a move on you!” Seb cried out, jumping to his feet.

“Seb, please, listen to me!” Marco tried to meet the volume of Seb’s voice. “You promised me that you would! Erik is so young and he really can’t control his feelings. It was easy for him to misinterpret our friendship and–”

“Bullshit, Marco!” Seb burst out and reached for his car keys he had dropped on the coffee table earlier. Marco read his intentions and tried to be faster than his boyfriend, but it was impossible for him with his cast. He lost his balance in his effort and he fell to the floor with a big thump.

“Fuck!” He cried out in pain as he fell on his injured leg. It hurt like hell but Marco couldn’t care about the pain right now. Seb was already on his way out and he only stopped for a second to make sure that Marco was alright. He wasn’t, but it didn’t hold Seb back. He started off again.

“Seb, please, stay with me. We can solve this together.” Marco whined, but his words met only deaf walls. “You promised me!” He yelled at his boyfriend accusingly. Seb was already in the hall and the next second, he slammed the front door.

“Oh, God! Oh, God!”

Marco panicked. His leg was aching like never before, it was almost worse than his initial injury, but he wasn’t allowed to worry about it. The raw hatred and fury in Seb’s eyes had burnt into Marco’s retina and he wasn’t going to forget it that easily. To Marco, Seb had always been a nice and friendly guy who was often misunderstood. But for the first time, he was afraid of him. And there was only one man he could turn to.

He grabbed his phone from the couch, while he was still lying on the floor, and dialed Marcel’s number.

“Come on, pick up the fucking phone!” Marco swore and at least Marcel was listening to him, because his drowsy voice came from the speaker.

“Good day to you, too.” He groaned.

“Marcel, listen to me carefully, because I need your help!” Marco shouted.

“Marco, is everything alright? You sound hurt.” Marcel asked in a concerned voice.

“Don’t care about me, Marcel. You must save Erik’s life!”

 

* * *

 

Seb usually was a composed driver. Not that he never drove faster than the speed limit, but he knew his capabilities and he never took unnecessary risks, especially when Marco was with him. But this time, nothing stopped him from racing through Dortmund’s streets. He was furious and there was only one thing on his mind: revenge.

Someone had tried to separate him from Marco and he wasn’t going to let it go unanswered. He didn’t care about what Marco had said; Erik had crossed a line, he had attacked Marco’s honor. Seb felt insulted and offended. He saw red and he was going to keep his promise he had made to the defender.

He shot through the streets and stopped in front of Erik’s house with a loud squeak. He jumped out of the car and started off towards the entrance.

“Mr. Kruse!” Matze’s voice cut through the buzzing of the neighborhood. He was getting out of his car and looked surprised at Seb. He hadn’t expected to see him there. But, Seb recognized his chance immediately.

“Matze!” He greeted the youngster, wearing an impassive face. “You’re exactly the one I need! Kloppo asked me to make sure that Erik is alright. It’s not like him to skip training. Do you have any idea what’s wrong with him?” The lies came so easily to his lips.

“No, I was surprised that I didn’t see him there today. He didn’t tell me anything. But, to be honest, I’m concerned about him. He called me an hour ago and he sounded very distressed and scared.” _He should be both_ , Seb thought. “But why do you need me?”

“Huh?” Seb asked back.

“You said you needed me.” Matze explained. “Why?”

“Um– you know him better than I do so you can judge his state better.” Seb smiled weakly at Matze. The taller one looked back at him baffled, but he just shrugged and then turned around, walking to the front door.

“Seb, stop!” This time it was Marcel, who hold him back. He ran towards the duo and grabbed Seb by his arm, almost toppling him down in an American football tackle.

“Get out of my way, Marcel.” Seb snarled viciously, trying to get out of the older one’s tight grip. But, the harder he tried, the more powerfully Marcel held him. Matze watched the scene clueless, his eyes jumping from one man to the other one.

“No, Seb!” Marcel shouted. “I don’t know what are you planning to do, but I know that it’s bad and you will regret it later. I’m just stopping you from making a huge mistake!”

“Stay out of this, Marcel.” Seb growled again, his mask gone, the sheer anger pervading his features. “I won’t let him take Marco away from me!

Their heated and loud debate had drawn the attention of a few passers-by. They didn’t stop to listen to them, but they slowed down hoping that what they would hear would be enough for a gossip. Matze found himself in the middle of this unwanted attention and the most eyes were inspecting him, their owners trying to guess what an international footballer had to do with these two madmen shouting at each other.

“Listen guys, I don’t know what’s going on, but maybe you could continue inside? I’m sure Erik would let you–”

“I’m trying to keep him away from Erik, can’t you see that?” Marcel snapped and Matze sprung back because of the uncalled for reprimand. “You go inside and warn Erik. He will know what this is about.”

“Yeah, sure he will know!” Seb snorted. “And maybe you could tell him to come here and face me!”

“Go, Matze!” Marcel urged him and the blonde nodded. He stepped to the entrance and rang the doorbell. A second later, the door was opened with a long buzz. Seb tried to free himself from Marcel’s hold like a wild animal, but the brunette hold him firmly. He let go of him only when the door was closed again. Seb flung his arm in the air angrily, cursing under his breath.

“Have you gone completely mad?” Marcel yelled at him.

“Why the hell are you asking me? I’m not the one who tried to stand between Marco and me!”

“Well, you are doing a better job than Erik.” Marcel said. “What do you want to do? Beat Erik? Kill him? Do you think that Marco would like it and congratulate you on this fantastic accomplishment? If you do something really stupid, Marco will leave you and it will be your fault, not Erik’s!”

“I’ve warned him, Marcel.” Seb sighed, a bit calmer now. “I’ve told Erik what he was risking if he tried something on Marco. He knew what was coming for him. And yet, he– I don’t even want to think about what he did.”

“Because you don’t even know.” Marcel snapped. “Because you were blinded by your revenge so much that you didn’t even listen to your boyfriend. Do you want to know the truth? Erik kissed Marco; that was it. For a split second, their lips touched before Marco shoved him away. And I’m sure that Erik has regretted what he did. He’s a confused young man who lost control for just one short moment.”

“Oh, maybe I should congratulate him and we should check our datebooks so we can find a time when he can be with Marco, right?” Seb snorted.

“This is not what I’m talking about!” Marcel emphasized every word. “But for starters, maybe you could act like a grown-up. What’s wrong with you? Don’t you trust Marco? You should have listened to him. You must discuss this level-headed and find a solution.”

“There’s nothing to talk about here!” Seb argued.

“Okay, and now you want to stay here and wait until Erik comes out of his apartment?”

“I don’t have to. If he wants to keep his job, he must come to training sooner rather than later.”

“You are even stupider than I have thought!” Marcel laughed. “If you want to punch him at work, then–”

“Who talks about punching Erik?” Seb asked, his mood going through a sudden change and Marcel didn’t like it at all. “I’m sure I can figure out something better.”

 

* * *

 

Erik let out a sigh of relief when Matze finally rang his doorbell. He had paced up and down in his apartment ever since he had gotten home. Once he had closed the door of Marco’s house, his tears had started to flow and he couldn’t stop them. He hadn’t wanted to stop them. He had felt unloved and alone. He hadn’t blamed Marco for his reaction. Firstly, he loved him too much to be mad at him and secondly, he had been stupid to think that the blonde would return his feelings. He had been stupid to think that _anyone_ would love him. He was an average football player and he looked like a puppy rather than a mature man. He was disgusted at himself.

He didn’t even know why he had called Matze. It was so like him to try to dodge away the need to make a decision. Why couldn’t he face the reality and take responsibility for his actions? Maybe he was just a child after all. But, his best friend’s arrival calmed him down a little bit. He opened the front door and stepped out of Matze’s way. The younger one looked perplexed by something, but he forgot about it as soon as he saw Erik’s face.

“What’s wrong, Erik?” He demanded in a concerned voice. “Have you been crying? What’s happened?”

“Oh, Matze, I’m the biggest fool on Earth!” Erik cried out, starting another wave of helpless sobbing. Matze took him in his arms and they walked to the living room. They sat down on the sofa.

“Hush, calm down and tell me what has happened. It can’t be that bad.”

“It is.” Erik whined. How was he supposed to tell what he had done? There was no way that Matze wouldn’t turn his back on him. He was the last person Erik had and he didn’t want to lose him.

“Don’t worry, just tell me.” Matze noticed his unease.

Erik took a deep breath and he steeled himself for his confession. And yet, when he spoke up, his voice was weak and it broke once he uttered the cruel truth.

“I kissed Marco.”

“Marco as in–?”

“Marco Reus.” Erik whispered, afraid of his friend’s reaction.

“Marco? Shit, Erik! It would have been bad enough if you had kissed a teammate alone, but Marco? If Seb learns this–” He stopped as the penny dropped. “Oh my god, Seb!”

“What about him?” Erik jerked up his head, looking Matze in the eyes.

“He’s here.” Matze gasped, horrified. “He would have gotten in with me if Marco’s friend, Marcel I guess, hadn’t intervened. They argued about you but I didn’t know what it was about.”

“B–but how can he know already?” Erik trembled. “Did Marco tell him?”

“I guess so.” Matze shrugged, causing Erik to cry out in pain. If Marco had run to his boyfriend immediately, it meant only one thing: he hated Erik and the defender couldn’t even blame him. “But why did you do it, Erik? You should have known that–”

“Yes, I know.” Erik sobbed. “But I didn’t think. He’s been so nice to me and I had the feeling that maybe–”

“He would choose you over his true love?” Matze snapped angrily. He drew back his arm and ticked him off. “Erik, I can’t believe you! You are in deep shit right now. You must tell Kloppo about it, so he can save your ass. If he will, that is. You can fall out of the team because of this!”

“Thanks for pointing out what I already know.” Erik mumbled. “How did Seb look like?”

“Honestly? He was ready to kill you.”

“God!” Erik sighed.

“What were you expecting? _I_ ’m not sure how I should feel about what you did!”

“Oh yeah?” Erik snapped. “Then maybe you should go and leave me alone! I should get used to being alone anyways.”

“Oh no, your tricks won’t work on me! I won’t pity you and you should stop with your self-pity too and start figuring out a way to get your shit together. And I mean a real solution, not running away from your problems.”

Erik shook his head helplessly, but he couldn’t argue with Matze. After all, he was right: he couldn’t run away. It would be too easy. But maybe facing the truth was going to be too tough for him.

 

* * *

 

Marco was sitting on the floor in pain. He had hoped that the pain would fade, but it had only gotten worse and his injured foot was now throbbing. He had taken a painkiller, looking for some ease of pain, but it hadn’t worked at all, it hadn’t even dulled the ache. He knew very well what had caused the worsening of his state. He hadn’t rested his leg at all, and the distress he felt didn’t help his speedy recovery, either. First of all, Erik’s kiss and then Seb’s reaction had made him nauseous. He was genuinely afraid that his boyfriend would make a mistake and he could only hope that Marcel would reach Erik’s house in time.

He had informed his friend briefly about what had happened and Marcel had listened to him incredulously. But at least, he _had_ listened to him. He hadn’t asked anything, hadn’t jumped into wild conclusions and he had understood the seriousness of the situation immediately. He had offered Marco a helping hand, instead of acting on his own. Truth to be told, he wasn’t affected directly but still, the difference between the difference between the reactions of the two most important men in Marco’s life had made the blonde question a lot of things again.

He had always hoped that Seb would change, that he could change. And a lot of times, it had seemed so. But, when it really mattered, his boyfriend didn’t consider what Marco wanted. Seb acted on his own account, as if he had nothing to do with Marco. And quite frankly, Marco was getting enough of it.

He reached for another pill, but then, he noticed the warning on the side of the bottle. He wasn’t a fool; if the instructions told him not to take two pills in so little time, he wasn’t going to do that. But then, on top of his stress, another wave of despair washed over him. If he needed two pills, it meant bad. He tried to swallow the pain, but it was impossible. He cursed as he grabbed his phone.

“Hello, Doc?” There was a lump in his throat. “I might have some complications with my leg.– No, I think I can’t.– Okay, I will wait for you. Thanks.”

He sighed as he hung up. Why was all this bad happening to him? He had always tried to be a good man, he didn’t deserve all the problems he had to deal with. And the pain in his ankle told him that he was about to face another one. He knew how a ‘complication’ felt like and it was definitely the case this time. He could only hope that it wasn’t as bad as he feared.

The team doctor arrived in fifteen minutes and he examined Marco’s foot instantly. If there was an inflammation or there had been another impact on the injured muscles, they couldn’t waste any time. He tried to deduct as much as possible, but in the end, he just put Marco’s leg back on the floor and shook his head.

“We must remove the cast.” Marco’s heart missed a beat. It _was_ serious.

“W–what might have happened to it?” He stuttered.

“Look, it can be nothing. Or it can be a further injury. I don’t want to tell you anything as long as I’m not sure.” The doctor explained angrily. He wasn’t delighted by Marco’s irresponsibility. “You stay here, I’m calling an ambulance.”

“An ambulance?” Marco asked back. He hoped that he had misheard it.

“Yes.” The doctor nodded, his phone in his hand already. “We need to take you to hospital and there’s no way I will let you hobble to my car.”

 

* * *

 

Marcel had insisted that he drove back to Marco’s right behind Seb, just to make sure that the younger one didn’t change his mind. Not that such a precaution was needed; instead of talking him off his revenge, he had given Seb another idea, a much more menacing, if he knew him well enough. But it wasn’t his problem. He had achieved what Marco had asked from him, it looked as if Erik was going to live the next day.

Seb turned into the driveway of Marco’s house and Marcel followed him. They got out of their cars and started off toward the front door.

“Okay, daddy.” Seb grumbled. “I think you can leave now. I’m back home and I will sit on my ass.”

“Believe me, I’ve got better things to do than babysitting you. But I’m afraid that you will hurt Marco, so I’m staying.” Marcel said firmly as he reached for the doorknob. He tried to open the door, but it didn’t give way. He tried again and then he looked at Seb perplexed. “Did you close it when you left?”

“No.” Seb shook his head, panicked. He fished out his keys from his pocket and opened the door with trembling hands. He burst into the house and ran to the living room, looking for his love. “Marco!” He shouted, but there was no answer. Marcel followed him and the two men looked at each other clueless.

“Something must have happened.” Seb concluded and Marcel nodded. “I’m calling him.” Seb said and reached for his phone.

“Wait!” Marcel intercepted him. “I will call him.” _Because he might not pick up the phone for your call_ , he added to himself. He didn’t need to explain it to Seb. The younger one nodded with a sour expression. He was just realizing how stupid he had been.

“Hey, Marco!” Marcel said when the blonde answered his call. “Yes, everything is fine. Listen, should I drive Seb home or do you want some time alone?– What, you are not at home? Where are you? What’s wrong?– Where?” He burst out in surprise. “I’m on my way!” He shouted and hung up the phone before Marco could react anything. “He’s in the hospital.” He told Seb, whose face got even whiter and he looked ready to faint.

“I’m coming along!” He stated and they rushed out of the house. They got in Marcel’s car and drove off in a minute.

“I don’t get it.” Marcel hit the gas pedal. “What has happened to him?”

“Well, he fell on the floor before I left and he cried out. Maybe he injured himself then.” Seb said, horrified.

“What? He was injured and you left him?” Marcel snapped.

“Yeah, I was stupid!” Seb yelled. “Can you please talk less and drive faster?” He checked his watch impatiently.

It still took them twenty minutes to get to the hospital. Seb didn’t even wait for Marcel to stop the car, he jumped out of the still moving vehicle and ran to the main entrance, Marcel following him after a few seconds. They reached the receptionist’s counter together and it was Marcel who caught his breath the sooner.

“Marco Reus.” He panted. “Where is he?”

“I’m sorry, you are not entitled to visit him.” The nurse behind the desk explained bored.

“What? I’m his friend and he is his–” Marcel argued, but was stopped by Seb.

“Let me handle this my way.” He brought out his BVB ID card and dropped it on the desk, in front of the nurse. “How about now?”

“Room 517.” She sighed, not taking her defeat too well.

“Let’s go!” Seb said and they started off towards the elevators.

The cabin couldn’t come to the ground floor fast enough and the journey to the fifth story took all too long. They ran through the corridor, not looking out for anything or anyone. Once they reached the room, Seb tore the door open and they exploded into the room.

Marco was lying on the hospital bed, obviously in pain and staring at the ceiling. Upon their arrival, he slowly turned to them and smiled weakly as he saw Marcel. But his face turned impassive once his eyes wandered to Seb.

“Marco.” Seb trembled and made a hesitant step towards his boyfriend.

“I want you to leave now, Seb.” Marco’s voice stabbed him in the heart. His legs started to shake and he looked around bewildered.

“I–I’m sorry.”

“Seb.” Marcel sighed. He placed his hand on the younger one’s shoulder and shot him a sympathetic look. “You should go now.” He said gently and Seb saw that he was trying to fight an already lost battle. He turned around and stumbled out of the room. He barely had enough strength to reach a chair on the corridor and slump down on it, breaking out in tears.


	28. Another Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a bit longer than planned, but I hope you will like it. Let me know what you think about the new chapter. There's not much to go, so some comments would give me extra motivation to come with the new chapter sooner. :-)  
> I must thank my wonderful beta Blue Night for the help. This chapter would have been much worse without your hints and insight. Thank you very much!

Marcel watched silently as Seb walked out of the hospital ward. He had expected that Marco would be angry at his boyfriend, but he wouldn’t have thought that the blonde would go this far. And he saw that Marco wasn’t sure about the righteousness of his decision, either. He stared at the ceiling with blank eyes and a thousand thoughts must cross his mind right now. Marcel walked to his bed and sat down on the chair next to it. He stared at Marco whose face remained impassive.

His friend looked so old and he hadn’t noticed it earlier. Of course, all the things he had had to go through must have tired and strained him both mentally and physically. He had lost a lot of weight after his coming out and it was only Seb’s merit that he hadn’t sunk deeper into depression. Marco could thank so much to Seb and yet, the young raven-haired acted as he was trying to push Marco away from him deliberately day after day. Marcel couldn’t quite understand him. Seb loved Marco but he couldn’t express it, at least not when it mattered the most.

A tear trickled down Marco’s face and he closed his eyes. He definitely looked older and exhausted. For a moment, a dreadful idea crossed Marcel’s mind. It looked as if Marco was thinking he had nothing to live for. Football had been taken away from him just when he had got it back. And now, even his love was failing him.

“What’s wrong?” Marcel asked gently, stroking Marco’s arm with his thumb.

“The doctors said I’ve just thrown out every progress I made in the past days. I will be out for another week.” Marco sighed. “I should be glad though, it could have been much worse. If the muscle was torn further…”

“Sorry, but your leg is the last thing I care about right now.” Marcel said and Marco shot him a disbelieving look. “I meant your heart and the fact that you’ve just sent out Seb.”

“He chose to leave me. I can’t do anything about it.” Marco muttered.

“What do you mean? What’s this nonsense with him leaving you?” Marcel snapped. He knew very well what Marco was talking about, but the tone with which the blonde put it was annoying Marcel. He was talking as if Seb had betrayed him and there was no way to fix it.

“He swore that he would listen to me. He swore that he wouldn’t do anything stupid. And then, he sprung up and left me lying on the floor, in pain.” By now, a stream of tears was running down Marco’s face.

“Right after someone kissed his boyfriend.” Marcel added. “I’m sorry to say it Marco, but it seems that you are forgetting the most important detail. I’m not saying that he was right to leave, but try to understand his position.”

“He didn’t want to understand mine.” Marco retorted and while Marcel couldn’t argue with it, he sighed.

“And when Bild pulled out all that shit about him, did you try to understand him?” He demanded. “You were blinded by jealousy and you would have believed if they had said that Seb had killed a man!”

“That was different.” Marco said. “And it’s the past. I got it that I was wrong, I apologized to him, we are over that. Which steps has _he_ done this time?”

“Well, if you want to know, he knows that he made a mistake and you haven’t really given him a chance to apologize.” Marcel shook his head. Marco was acting like a five year old.

“Why can’t I trust him, Marcel?” Marco whined. “Whenever I think we are great, he makes something stupid like this and I lose all my trust in him. Why can’t he be like you?”

“Let’s say it, if you had wanted to date someone like me, you would have done that.” Marcel snorted. “I admit, life’s hard with Seb, but you wouldn’t have stuck to him if you hadn’t wanted to be with him.”

Marco looked at the ceiling again, musing over Marcel’s words. Could it be that he loved Seb the way he was? That it was his flaws that kept Marco by his side? But then, it didn’t make any sense. How could he love something in Seb that made him so angry and hurt him so much? He didn’t care about the throbbing in his leg. It would heel sooner or later. It kept him away from football, but he could manage that. But he feared that his heart was hurt much more.

“So, shall I send him in?” Marcel asked and Marco turned to him scared to death.

“I don’t think I should–”

“What? Talk to him?” Marcel sprung up angry. “You’re not making any sense! You know that I’m not fond of Seb to say the least, but what you are doing to him is madness! You are complaining that you cannot talk over anything with him and yet, you don’t even try to discuss this with him. You are too careful and you still hope that you can solve this Erik-thing without hurting anyone’s feelings. You know, what? You won’t be able to do that!” Marcel glared at his friend before he continued.

“You’ve already hurt Erik with refusing him back in December and then today with pushing him away. But he’s a grown up man, Marco! You don’t have to protect him. And in the meantime, with every second that passes you hurt Seb more and more. What do you think, what he will think now? Let me answer that for you, because you don’t seem to be able to think rationally. He will think that you have doubts about him and after today’s kiss you might choose Erik after all.”

“But that’s nonsense!” Marco exclaimed.

“Oh, now it’s nonsense!” Marcel snapped. “You know what? Do what you want.” He sighed. “I’m tired of your whining. You want everyone to comply with your wishes, but you don’t want to give up anything for others.”

He spun around and started off the ward, breathing heavily. Marco’s inertness had angered him more than should have. But, he had spoken only the truth. At least, that’s what he thought. He loved his friend and would always support him, but sometimes, he had enough of him. The optimistic young boy Marcel admired was long gone and now Marco was a grumpy man, blaming everything and everyone. To him, it seemed as if the whole world was against him and he had to be the victim, never the perpetrator.

“Marcel, wait.” Marco said quietly. “Send him in, please.” He whispered.

Marcel allowed himself a faint smile. Maybe he had been too hard on Marco, but at least, it had worked. He didn’t slow down and didn’t even turn back to the blonde. He opened the door and slid out to the corridor. Seb jerked up his head immediately, his eyes full of tears and hope. Marcel smiled at him and patted his shoulder.

“I have arranged a chance for you. Don’t fuck this up.”

 

* * *

 

Seb entered the ward on trembling legs. He would never have thought that he would once go to speak to Marco with a lump in his throat. The blonde had always been a living example of kindness and he could never be mad at Seb. The younger one might have exploited it once or twice in his life, but he knew he couldn’t expect similar favor this time. But still, looking at Marco he questioned himself if his concerns were called for.

The midfielder lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling, with an impassive face. He seemed so hurt and vulnerable, not someone who was going to tell him off. It looked as if he needed comfort more than anything and he wasn’t up for another confrontation. There was something in his eyes though, that told Seb that this could change very easily. He stopped right next to the door and looked down at his own feet. They shared a few minutes of this awkward silence that felt as a heavy weight on their shoulders.

“Can I come closer?” Seb muttered under his breath, not sure if Marco had heard his question. He shot a quick glance at the blonde. Marco still avoided looking at him, but he nodded faintly and Seb made his way to the chair next to the hospital bed.

“How is your leg?” He asked in a hoarse voice. His mouth and throat were dry and his heart beat like a racehorse’s after a long run.

“Better.” Marco said. Neither of them wanted to start the conversation that they both knew would lead to a nasty row.

“That’s good.” Seb nodded. “What’s the diagnosis?”

“Just a heavy blow, no further tear. I probably got it when I shoved Erik away. Or when I tried to stop you and fell. You know, right before you left me.” Marco said with the world’s every sorrow in his voice.

“Look, Marco. I’m sorry.” Seb sighed. “I shouldn’t have left you. I should have made sure that you were right and call the doctor for you instead of storming out. I know I’ve made a giant mistake and–”

“Don’t even continue.” Marco stopped him. “There’s nothing you can say that will justify your actions.”

“I didn’t want to do that.” Seb stammered. “I’m an idiot and I know it.”

“You’ve been this idiot ever since I met you. And yet, you don’t want to do anything about it.” Marco shrugged.

“You know me. I–”

“That’s the problem!” Marco burst out. “I know you and I know that I cannot expect anything from you. You always promise me that you will change and you do nothing. You tell me to trust you and then you play with my feelings over and over again. I thought we were a couple; but you always want to act on your own. I just don’t feel we are one. Not when it matters.”

“Don’t say this.” Seb cried. “I– I don’t want to lose you.” He placed his head on the mattress next to Marco’s hand and started to sob silently. He had just understood the seriousness of the situation. The threat of the end of the relationship was suddenly real. He would have liked to argue with Marco, but he didn’t have anything speaking for him. The blonde was right; he failed him so many times – he should have been glad that they got this far and he had gotten so many chances.

“Then why are you pushing me away again?” Marco asked. Seb had hoped that he would stroke his hair or at least comfort him a bit, but Marco remained an impassive statue. Impassive and immovable.

“I’m not.” Seb stuttered. “Please, let me make this up to you. I will speak with Erik and–”

“No!” The touch from Marco was finally there, but it wasn’t pleasant at all. He grabbed Seb’s hair and pulled his head, turning it towards him. They measured each other with cutting glances before Marco eventually let go of his boyfriend. “You are not going to do anything! I will have to stay in the hospital for a week, because the doctors don’t think I can take care of myself. If you do anything to Erik in the meantime, I swear I will–”

“Do what?” Seb found his defiant self. “Hurt me? More than you already did? Why do you protect him so much? Why do you care about his feelings more than about mine?”

“Stop this jealousy nonsense!” Marco exclaimed. “There’s nothing between Erik and me and there will never be! He tried his luck, but I stopped him! Do you know why? Because I love you, Seb! Why can’t you get this into your stubborn head?”

“I know you love me.” Seb sighed, although Marco’s coldness towards him made him not so sure anymore. “And I never doubted your fidelity. But, I’ve warned Erik. He has crossed a line and I’m not okay with it. I saw red and yeah, maybe I wanted to punch him. You know what? Maybe I still want to punch him in the face. When you told me that he was there and you wanted to keep it secret from me, I thought that– never mind.” He sighed when he saw Marco’s annoyed look. He wasn’t sure what had upset the blonde. He only told him the truth, even if it sounded horrible.

“What? Go on Seb, tell me.”

“I thought that he had hurt you.” Seb whispered and shot down his look, embarrassed. Marco gaped as he digested what Seb had said. He hadn’t thought that his boyfriend had gone this far in his conclusions.

“W–what?”

“It’s stupid and you can laugh at me as much as you want. But I feared that Erik had misused your helplessness and– I think you get the rest.” Seb mumbled and turned away from Marco. A heavy silence fell between them for long seconds. Seb was still crying and he didn’t want to have this conversation any longer. Why didn’t Marco just tell him it was over? Why go through all this torture for the horrible outcome?

“Seb.” Marco sighed and reached for the raven-haired. This time, his touch was much gentler as he caressed Seb’s cheeks. “Erik would never do that.” He said tenderly and then he continued as he realized how ambiguous this sounded. “I’m not saying this to protect him. But I know him. He might be in love with me, but he’s not vicious.”

“And what do you want to do about him?” Seb asked suddenly and he caught Marco off guard. “You said you didn’t want me to do anything. Well, what is your plan?”

“I don’t know.” Marco admitted.

“Then please, let me handle it. I won’t do anything bad to him, you can trust me.” Seb said.

“No.” Marco shook his head. “I’m sorry Seb, but I meant what I said. You promised me that you would listen to me. Do that now, I beg you.”

“Okay.” Seb gave in. “But we have to do something about it.”

“I know. I will think of something.”

“Thank you.” Seb whispered, putting all his love into those two words.

“There’s still a long way to go for us.” Marco pointed out.

“Yeah.” Seb nodded. “But at least we made the first step.” He smiled weakly and they finally caught each other’s glance. “May I kiss you?”

Marco snickered and pulled him in for a kiss instead of giving an answer. Seb tasted salty because of his tears, but feeling his lips on his own was all Marco needed more than anything right now.

“Oh, sorry.” A nurse’s voice interrupted them. She recoiled when he realized what she had intruded on.

“It’s okay.” Seb straightened up. “I was about to leave anyways.” He smiled at Marco and the blonde returned his smile.

“Call me later.” The midfielder said as Seb started off towards the door.

“I will.” Seb made his way out and looked for Marcel in the corridor. The older one was returning with a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Oh, sorry. If I had known that you were done, I would have gotten one for you, too.”

“Never mind.” Seb waved away his apologies.

“How did it go?”

“The next few days will tell.” Seb sighed relieved and also afraid. He was dancing on a very sharp edge of a razor and he could fall off easily.

“I’ll drive you home.”

“No, thanks. I guess I will take a walk. I need some fresh air.” Seb said. He didn’t wait for an answer, he started off towards the elevators immediately.

 

* * *

 

Seb didn’t know where he was heading to. He just went when where his legs took him, strolling aimlessly in the city, deeply lost in his thoughts, musing over his bad fortune. When had things gone wrong? Maybe Marco didn’t see it, but he was trying to change. He wanted to be the blonde’s dream boyfriend even if it meant giving up some things. But the problem was that he couldn’t change. He had lived by his own rules for so long that he had trouble complying with other people’s expectations. Before Marco’s coming out everything had been much simpler. They had loved each other and never questioned it, most importantly because they hadn’t shown it in front of others and they had avoided every situation where they would have had to stand up for the other one and show absolute trust and devotion. Situations like the one they had to deal with right now. And when the time had come for it, Seb had failed utterly.

He wasn’t mad at Marco or Erik, at least not for the fact that he had become so distant with Marco in the course of only two hours. It was only he himself who could be blamed and he was willing to admit it easily. He had always done that, that’s exactly why he had become the miserable and hostile person he was.

He had lost everything good in his life systematically. What had been left, he had pushed away. Except for Marco. The blonde was the only sure point of his world and he was losing him, too. His life was becoming a mess again.

He turned on a corner and he was standing right in front of Dortmund’s stadium. _Why not_ , he thought as he started off towards Signal Iduna Park. He had always admired the atmosphere surrounding this building. He felt so small and yet safe in there. It didn’t need to be a match day. The seats had absorbed the ecstasy the fans felt week after week and they radiated it every moment. He slipped into the stadium next to the Südtribüne that was now filled with seats, ready for the upcoming Champions League match.

Seb walked to the benches next to the sideline and slumped down on a seat, burying his head in his hands. The stadium swallowed him and at least the huge chaos in his mind ceased to exist. He saw everything perfectly clear and that was what scared him. He saw the hardships all around himself like waves washing over him from all sides only there was no light above him to hold onto. And strangely, everything had to do with what this place represented: football.

“Sebastian?” A raspy voice startled him.

“Oh, Mr. Klopp!” Seb jerked up his head and quickly wiped away his tears with the sleeve of his sweater. “I didn’t know you were there.”

“Press conference.” The coach explained and checked out the younger one. “Which is I guess a far better reason than whatever brought you hear.”

“Just a little depression, never mind.” Seb shook his head, a wry smile on his face.

“Does this have anything to do with Marco’s setback?” Klopp asked with full understanding of his sorrow.

“Kind of.” Seb sighed. “But that’s not the point. I’ll be going then, I don’t want to disturb you in your pre-match rituals.” He got up and started off the way he had entered.

“Sebastian, get your ass back here, sit down and tell me what's bothering you so. That's an order!” The trainer growled after him and Seb stopped abruptly, completely taken by surprise. He hesitantly strolled back to the seat where Klopp had made himself comfortable, patting invitingly with his hand on the seat next to him.

Seb sat down, avoiding the elder man's calm gaze. Klopp didn't rush him, just waited patiently for him to start while Seb searched for the right words.

“Every time I think that I have found something good – something I love and what's worth living for, I do something stupid and lose it again. And I really don't know how to stop it!” he suddenly blurted out, much to his own surprise.

Kloppo considered him thoughtfully. “With something you mean Marco?” he asked back, his voice friendly and without any judgment.

Seb sighed, his shoulder slumping with his confusion and sorrow. “Marco and my job here – my life has become so much better and I really have thought I would be able to not screw it up this time, but, as it seems, I did it again,” he admitted bitterly.

“And how did you do it, Sebastian? You're not responsible for Marco's injury,” Klopp said, his voice now sounding puzzled and curiously.

Seb hung his head deeper. If only Klopp knew… But how was he supposed to tell him that? When the silence stretched between them, the trainer laid his hand upon his shoulder. “Seb, I can't help you if you don't talk to me. Of course, you can say that I'm only interested in putting you in a state again where you will be able to do your job, but, believe me, I was once young myself and I really want to help you. My boys always come to me when they're having problems and you're now one of them. You don't have to fight your fights all by yourself any longer. There are people who truly care for you. Let them help you.”

Seb bit his lip, playing with a loose thread hanging from his jeans. “We had a quarrel and I don't think that Marco will forgive me,” he whispered, his voice hoarse with unshed tears. He really didn’t know how much he could say and how to put it. “Someone tried to hit on him and I saw red with fury, because I had told that someone to leave my boyfriend alone. When Marco told me – I ran out of the house, although Marco was in pain...” His voice trailed off.

“I see. Not the first time you acted that stupid, I guess,” Klopp remarked and Seb's head jerked up with anger, but, when he met the other man's eyes, he didn't see any mockery or judgment there, only understanding. Kloppo smiled at him with a shrug of his shoulders. “You probably know how oftentimes I had been sent off and had to finish a game on the tribune, right? I know that I have to stay calm and yet I explode again and again. We're all human Seb, and we all make mistakes. Marco is injured and of course, you shouldn't have left him, but, he truly loves you, Seb, this pretty obvious to everyone who sees the two of you together. I'm sure that you will be able to make things up with him, have a little more faith in yourself. Marco would never cheat on you and I'm absolutely certain that he will forgive you. By the way, you should be with him and not here.”

“Yes, I know. But, we were both upset and I thought it better to give him some time alone,” Seb murmured, not sure if his decision to leave Marco alone had been right.

“You should go back to him. Sort things out with him and come back to work after that, Seb. Prove to me that my faith in you is earned.”

Seb looked up at the elder man, gratefully and consoled. “Thank you, Mr. Klopp, I will do that,” he said. He was just getting up to his feet when he saw Erik storming along the tunnel in their direction. He tensed and unconsciously balled his fists.

Klopp watched him with pursed lips, nodding his head. “I guess, I have a clue who was the one hitting on Marco,” he stated dryly. “Sit down again, Sebastian. We will sort things out now. I do understand you, but, I won't let the two of you have a fight because one of my players. I told you to sit down! There's no need to behave like someone who is about to have a duel with a rival because of a damsel in distress!”

Seb had to try hard not to chuckle at Klopp’s comment, but seeing Erik’s face definitely helped him stay serious. The defender lost his momentum and recoiled at the sight of his coach and Seb. He looked scared to death and for a moment, Seb almost felt pity for him. He saw in Erik exactly what he was: a confused young man, not sure about his own feelings.

“Ah, Erik!” Klopp greeted his player. “Come join us! I presume you have something to confess.”

“N–not really. I guess it can wait.” Erik stuttered. His legs were trembling and he looked as if he was going to faint any moment.

“Trust me, Erik. There’s nothing to be afraid of. It will do you good if you tell us.” The trainer smiled at him.

“You already know, don’t you?” Erik asked, shrugging his shoulder. He shot a cutting glance towards Seb and the raven haired realized what he must have been thinking; that he had run to Klopp and told him everything. It scared the defender even more.

“I know something, I suppose others.” Klopp said in the same warm voice that had persuaded Seb to stay and open up to him. It had worked on him and he was sure that it was going to work on Erik, too. “Please, Erik, sit down. Let’s talk.”

Erik made a few faltering steps but then he stopped again. He bit down on his lip, weighing his options heavily, trying hard to decide. Ever since Matze’s visit, he had been planning doing this. He simply had to tell his coach and take full responsibility for what he had done. But, he hadn’t expected Seb to be there and words failed him now.

“Maybe I should help you get started?” Klopp asked with a raised eyebrow, still calm and his eyes encouraging.

“I kissed Marco.” The brunette blurted out hastily because hearing the truth from someone else would have been much worse. “I know I shouldn’t have and I don’t know why I did it. I was stupid and lost control and–”

“Please, stop it, Erik.” Klopp said. “And come closer. Neither of us will bite you.”

Erik was still standing in a safe distance but now he strode closer, not taking his eyes off Seb, searching for the slightest sign of a possible attack. But, the raven haired didn’t move. He kept staring at him with a hostile glance, his fists balled next to his body. He walked to the bench and sat down on the seat next to Klopp.

“That’s better.” The trainer nodded. “I’m not blaming you. In fact, I’ve been expecting something like this. When you came out to me and told me that you wanted to keep it secret, I respected it. I didn’t agree with you, though. You can’t fight who you are, Erik. If you keep denying your true self, you will lose control of your feelings and heart.”

“If you knew– why didn’t you stop me?” Erik shivered.

“Because it is something you have to learn for yourself. It is something that Marco had to learn and Seb, too. Am I right, Sebastian?” He asked suddenly and Seb looked back at him incredulously.

“What?” He snapped. If Klopp was expecting him to help Erik deal with his crisis, he was wrong. Erik had just kissed his boyfriend after all! Was he supposed to forgive him just like that?

“Well, I’m not talking from own experience, but I saw how much Marco’s coming out helped him.” Klopp explained. “What you are doing, isn’t good for you, Erik. You must come to term with yourself. You can’t expect the world to accept you until you accept yourself, first.” Maybe Klopp was talking to Erik, but Seb felt that the words suited his situation, too.

“Do you mean that I should come out?” Erik asked.

“It’s your decision. I’m not forcing you to do anything. But I would be glad if you told your teammates. They would help you, just the way they supported Marco.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I don’t know where you two got the idea that you are less important than any other player or employee.” He raised his voice. “There are no differences within the team. We are one. Everyone is as valuable as the other one.”

“Thank you.” Erik mouthed.

“And now, I think there’s something you need to discuss.” Klopp nodded. “Erik, maybe you should start.”

The defender shot his coach a scared look. He looked like a vulnerable puppy at a dog shelter, longing to be picked up but at the same time, fearing the outcomes. He bit down on his lip, looking for the right words.

“I’m sorry.” He sighed eventually. “I know it sounds empty, but I mean it. I know that Marco and you are together and I would never want to stand between you. I don’t know what happened, I wish I could change things, but I can’t.”

He finally looked at Seb and his eyes were full of sorrow and guilt. Seb was well aware of the fact that it was a face no one could resist to. Even he was tempted to just forgive Erik and take him into his arms, caress him and solace him. Erik got this reaction out of people. But, the way to Seb’s heart wasn’t this easy.

“What do you want me to say or do?” He snapped and looked at both men. “That it is alright? I’m not over this. Erik, you hit on my boyfriend, for god’s sake! It’s not _okay_.”

“Before you continue, I’d like to remind you something.” Klopp interrupted him. “You can hold this grudge as long as you’d like. Or, you can get over it. I don’t expect you to forget about it because I know it is impossible. But, maybe you can be reasonable and professional. And I also want a guarantee from you that you will be able to work with Erik if the club’s success requires it. Without any further ado.”

“I can promise you that.” Seb nodded.

“I know you can promise it. I only doubt that you can keep your promise.” Klopp let out a half-laugh.

“I will behave.” Seb drawled.

“Good.” Klopp smiled at him. “And now, Erik. I expect you to be professional, too. That means that by the time Marco rejoins team training, I want everything be sorted out between you. You get your feelings right. It will hurt a lot and be very hard, but– I think it is the least you could do for Marco, for yourself and the team.”

Erik stared at his own feet for a few moments, while he thought about what exactly this all meant. He didn’t really like the idea of all the things he had to do in the upcoming days, but there was no other way for him. Klopp was right; he needed to sort things out and possibly get a clean start. He looked up at both men and then nodded.

“Fantastic.” Klopp grinned satisfied. “I guess my job is done here.” He hauled himself off the seat and looked at the two younger ones. “Maybe you can start working together right away. I trust you that you won’t beat each other and you will stay level-headed. You are both grown-ups, act like ones.”

They thanked him and watched as he disappeared in the tunnel. He took with him every possibility of any further conversation. They might have made the first step, but it wasn’t such a huge one. They were far from being neutral towards each other, or at least Seb towards Erik. The defender still looked unsure about the situation. But, it was him who broke the silence in the end.

“Um, can I drive you home?” He mumbled.

“No, thanks. I’ll go back to the hospital to see Marco.”

“Hospital?” Erik cried out in surprise. “What’s wrong with him? Is there a further injury?” He couldn’t hide his concern and Seb had to breathe very deep to stop himself from clenching his fists because Erik’s worry was much more than a friend’s.

“Yeah.” He snapped annoyed. “His leg didn’t take well that you fell on it.”

“Oh, god!” Erik shot down his look again, blushing. Seriously, that much blood in his head must have caused some damage by now, Seb thought. “Can I– I mean, is it okay for you if I go with you?”

“Erik, I don’t really think–”

“Please, I just want to say I’m sorry. I won’t do anything bad, you can be in the room if you’d like to. I apologize and then leave.” Erik was desperate.

“Okay.” Seb gave in. “But, it’s up to Marco. If he doesn’t want to see you–”

“I won’t push him.” Erik finished the sentence for him with a faint smile. He sounded like a little kid who had done something wrong and now was eager to regain his parents’ trust and favor.

“Aren’t you afraid to invite me in your car? I might hit you or something.” Seb asked with a raised eyebrow.

“No.” Erik smiled as he got up, but he turned serious in a second. “Should I?” He asked startled.

“No.” Seb winked at him and followed him out of the stadium through the players’ corridor.


	29. Making Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I once again have to thank you all for your fantastic support. Our journey is slowly but surely coming to an end and I'm so grateful that you stayed with me and my boys this long. Without you, this story wouldn't have become what it is now. And a special thanks goes to Blue Night for the wonderful beta and suggestions.  
> Please, let me know what you think of the new chapter or the fic in general. Your feedback is always appreciated. :-)

Erik never took his eyes off the road and maybe it was for the better. Seb wasn’t sure if he could stop himself if the brunette had decided to do some chitchat and they would end up with an unmentioned reference to the kiss hanging in the air. He still remembered Klopp’s words and also Marco’s. He knew that if he would hurt the young defender, it would be the end of his career and more importantly, his relationship. He didn’t want to risk either of them.

He glanced at Erik. The brunette was focusing on the driving with pursed lips. He didn’t look like the defenseless child he had been a few minutes earlier anymore. He had grown up in the meantime, Seb only wished he would stay like this forever and control his emotions. He still didn’t think that Erik could do that. He still feared that there would come another moment of weakness or another misunderstanding and Erik would hit on Marco once again. He trusted his boyfriend and he knew he would push Erik away as many times as needed but still, he didn’t want Marco to go through the same procedure again. It was only normal, in his opinion.

Erik parked the car next to the hospital’s entrance. The sun had already set and the streets were almost empty. Dortmund was still cold early in the spring and people didn’t stay out longer than necessary. Seb got out and started off towards the door but then slowed down and let Erik catch up to him. Whatever he did, it felt awkward so in that case he could be even nice, at least as much as it was possible. They entered the lobby together and walked to the reception desk. The nurses on duty had been changed and probably that was their luck. Seb was sure they wouldn’t get past the grumpy old woman from earlier.

“Good evening. We’d like to see Marco Reus.”

“The visiting hours are over, I’m afraid.” The young and attractive nurse smiled at him with her regulatory smile and then sent a warmer one towards Erik over the raven-haired’s shoulder.

“It’s important.”

“It can’t be more important than the well-being of our patients.” She snapped angrily, looking towards the door with an unmistakable expression.

“Come on. I’m sure we could make an exception.” Erik spoke up. Seb swung around and saw the defender beaming at the nurse, utilizing his pleading eyes. “You know who we are. We won’t make any trouble, I promise.” The woman still hesitated a bit, but Seb knew she would give in sooner rather than later. “No one needs to know.” Erik finished, stepping closer to the desk.

He leaned closer to the nurse and she started to fan herself with her hands. _Just like a stupid Hollywood romance movie_ , Seb thought. He wanted to throw up at all this false romance and fangirlism, but he had to admit that it worked wonders.

“Of course.” The nurse sighed. “But please, don’t stay outside on the corridors.”

“Of course, not.” Erik grinned and started off towards the stairs. Seb followed him, smiling under his breath. Okay, he knew his strengths and he wasn’t afraid to use them to further his causes, but this was something unexpected from Erik. Maybe he wasn’t such an innocent child after all?

“That was clever.” He said as they started to climb the stairs.

“Thanks.” Erik shrugged and continued climbing with an impassive face.

Seb knew it was just a mask and in truth the brunette was scared of the conversation that was awaiting him. If Marco was going to be half as cold to him as he had been to Seb, Erik had a reason to be scared. By the time they reached the fifth floor, Seb was panting while Erik didn’t look strained at all. After all, he was a footballer in top form and Seb might have looked after his body, such an exertion was bound to take its toll on him.

“Left here.” Seb led the way to Marco’s room and then stopped in front of the door. “Um, maybe you should wait here. I will tell him that you are here and want to talk to him.” He drawled.

The corridor was empty. Erik looked suspiciously at Seb. Maybe he was thinking that he would just go inside and then return saying that Marco didn’t want to see him. While he didn’t really want the two footballers to talk, he wouldn’t use such a dirty trick in his current situation. If Marco would learn about it, that would mean the end of any kind of connection between them.

“Okay.” Erik nodded and before he could change his mind, Seb knocked on the door. He heard Marco’s weak voice and he entered.

The blonde footballer was sitting on his bed, staring at his hands crossed in his lap. He looked troubled and exhausted. It was more than just the effect of his injury or their row, Seb saw that much. Marco had been thinking about their future ever since Seb had left. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what Marco had ended up with.

“I thought the visiting hours were over.” Marco checked his watch surprised.

“They are.” Seb shrugged as he walked to Marco’s bed and slumped down on it.

“What’s wrong?” Marco asked tenderly. He was completely different than an hour ago.

“I’ve talked with Erik.” Seb blurted out.

“What?” Marco snapped. “I can’t believe you, Seb! There was _one_ thing I’ve asked of you and you can’t even keep _that_!”

“Before you bite my head off…” Seb stopped him. “It wasn’t my fault. I went to the stadium because I need some time alone. Then Klopp turned up and we started to talk. And then, Erik. I wanted to leave, but Klopp wouldn’t let me. He noticed everything at once.”

“And what did Kloppo say?” Marco asked truly curious. His coach’s word meant a lot to him.

“That’s not important for now.” Seb shook his head. “Because Erik is here and he wants to talk to you.”

Marco tensed up immediately and Seb wanted to take him in his arms and comfort him. He once again realized what a fool he had been. The memory scared Marco and instead of being by his side, Seb had been busy with revenge. He only hoped that he still had a chance to make it up for the blonde.

“I will tell him to go away, then.” Seb nodded and stood up.

“Wait.” Marco stopped him. He took a deep breath, his misery turning even bigger in a second. “I want to talk to him.” He uttered, but every word was a struggle. “But can you be here, too.” He pleaded. “It concerns you as much as me.”

Seb smiled, because despite everything else, Marco still thought of them as a couple and it warmed Seb’s heart. Maybe it wasn’t conscious from the blonde, but still, such small details meant much more to Seb than any long declaration of love would have. He walked to the door in a good mood, forgetting the hard talk they had in front of them for a moment. He opened the door and said the single sentence that must have called through this corridors countless times a day.

“Come in.” His voice was almost friendly, but his eyes warned Erik what would happen if he upset Marco. Erik understood the message and he stopped right next to the door, staring sheepishly at his feet.

“You can come closer.” Marco said and Erik took a few faltering steps, still avoiding the blonde’s eyes.

“I’m sorry, Marco.” Erik said simply. “I know I shouldn’t have and I understand it if you hate me. I don’t expect you to forgive me, I just wanted you to know how I felt about it. I love you, but I see that you don’t return my feelings. I get it and I will stay out of your life, I promise.”

“Erik!” Marco sighed. “We won’t be able to do that. We are teammates, we will have to learn to work together and spend time together during trainings if nothing more. I know it is hard for you, but we will have to agree on something.”

Seb slowly walked to the window and stared out on the early evening city. There was barely any traffic and only a few lights shone in the windows. He listened to their conversation, but he was still in a distance that let them have the feeling that it was a private discussion. Seb had to try hard not to interrupt them, though. He wanted Marco to stop consoling Erik, but at the same time, it was obvious from the blonde’s voice that he felt more than friendship towards the young defender. So there was nothing to be afraid of from Marco’s part and Seb had a strong feeling, that Erik wouldn’t misinterpret Marco’s words another time, either. Today had finally opened his eyes to the truth and he must have known by now for sure that Marco is out of his grasp.

“Maybe not.” Erik said suddenly. “I know I have to get over you, Marco, but what if I can’t? I can’t live my life like this! So maybe I should request a transfer and leave Dortmund.”

Seb’s mouth fell open. It was probably the best option from his point of view, but still, it was something he couldn’t wish for. He knew how much Erik loved to play for BVB and the brunette had to be very desperate to say this. Seb glanced back over his shoulder and saw a similar reaction from Marco.

“Erik, this is nonsense! Don’t you dare think about it again!” He snapped. “That’s not a solution! That’s neglecting the problem! You cannot leave Dortmund because of this. You cannot just run away! You would only let down yourself and the whole team! Give some credit to yourself! You will do it, you are not alone.”

“I am, Marco.” Erik argued. “I can’t ask you to help me, because it would only mess with my heart even more. Kloppo said that he would support me, but sooner or later he would get enough of my constant struggles. And what am I supposed to tell the other guys? Hey, I’m gay and by the way, I almost fucked up our best player’s relationship? I shut all the doors in front of me.”

“Erik, what you say is horrible!” Marco gasped. “You are a nice guy and you have a lot of friends. I want to be one of them. I really like you, but only as a friend and I will help you. I’m not mad at you. You are still confused by your emotions and I know the feeling. I didn’t have a much easier time accepting my orientation. You can’t fight your battles alone, and no one expects you to do that.”

“Thank you.” Erik managed a faint smile. “But where should we draw the line? What is it that is still comfortable for you?”

“Well, somewhere far away from kissing him.” Seb inserted a mocking comment but he came to regret his decision when Marco shot him a disapproving look. He turned back to the window and continued observing his hometown.

“Do you remember the training camp? Or the international break? I think, that that would be the perfect kind of friendship for us.” Marco suggested. “What do you say?”

“That can work.” Erik nodded. “I will do my best and thank you for forgiving me.”

“Just find your peace, Erik.” Marco smiled at him and Erik started off towards the door.

He sent a grateful look at Seb before he left. The raven haired nodded towards him and then followed his way. His hand was on the doorknob when Marco stopped him.

“Stay, please.”

“Oh, I just didn’t know if you wanted me to–” He explained. “Never mind.” He sighed and walked to the chair next to Marco’s bed.

“So what did Kloppo tell you?” The blonde inquired.

“I outlined to him what had happened and then he told me off the way only he can do it.”

“I wish I was there.” Marco chuckled.

“Yeah, I’m sure you would have enjoyed it.” Seb noted. “But he also told me to come back to you.”

“So you wouldn’t have returned if it wasn’t for him?” Marco looked at him.

“I don’t know.” Seb shook his head. “I mean– you were really cold to me and I didn’t know what you thought. I was afraid that–”

“What?” Marco snapped. “That I would break up with you?” He sighed. “Seb, I wouldn’t do that. Sure, what you did hurt me a lot, but we’ve been through bigger shit. I have done stupid things, you have done stupid things. This one isn’t more special than the others were. I want us to continue, to put this behind us and come out stronger of it. You know, learn from your mistake, that’s all I’m asking for.”

“I will Marco and thank you.” Seb sighed, a huge weight taken off his heart. He smiled at his boyfriend who suddenly seemed even more beautiful than usually.

“But why, Seb? I need to know.” Marco asked in a begging voice.

“What why?” The raven haired asked startled.

“Why didn’t you trust my? Why were you so afraid that Erik and me– you know, would work out?”

“Um.” Seb fell silent for a minute. “I mean, who else could be more perfect for you? He’s a fellow footballer, almost my age, sweet, nice and let’s be honest, handsome.”

“Oh, so you have checked him out!” Marco snapped laughing.

“As if you haven’t done so.” Seb shot a knowing look towards the blonde and they burst out laughing. For a moment, Marco was overwhelmed by a nostalgic feeling. It was just like the old days: having fun and never worrying about their relationship. Back then, it had felt so natural to them, something they would never lose.

“Do you want to know who could be more perfect than Erik?” Marco said after a heavy silence fell between them. “You. But not the jealous and snappy man you’ve been lately. I’ve never loved anyone more than your careless, childish self. The boy who never cared about consequences, who just did whatever came to his mind. I want to have that Seb back. First my outing, than the article about you, Erik, your new job… they all made us grow up so quickly. No, that’s not the right word. We grew _old_ Seb, and I don’t like it. You always put me in little kinds of trouble and I enjoyed it.”

“What? You always told me off because of them!” Seb exclaimed.

“Just to make sure that you would do that again.” Marco sent him a mischievous smile.

“So I’ve been used all this time?” Seb got up and snuggled closer to his boyfriend, grinning. He stopped his face only a few centimeters from Marco’s and slowly closed down the distance. “I’ll be glad to present you the new-old Seb.” He winked at Marco and pressed their lips together.

He had experienced so many kinds of kisses with Marco, but this was something new to him. They had shared kisses of affection many times, but this time, it wasn’t just the love showing in the moves of their lips. It was full of meaning and promises. And then Marco gave him way and Seb’s tongue darted out of his mouth autonomously, reaching for Marco’s tongue. When he entered the sweet cavern of his boyfriend’s mouth that had given him so much pleasure, he was expecting a new high in this kiss. Instead, he had to pull back immediately.

“What’s wrong?” Marco asked startled as he watched his boyfriend wiping his lips madly, as if he was trying to get rid of Marco’s memory.

“You taste of hospital food.” Seb snorted and Marco had to laugh out loud. The younger one seemed to keep his promise this time and he had started to fulfill it earlier than Marco had expected.

 

* * *

 

Marco woke up in a chilly room. He pulled up the blanket to his face and looked around. The window was open and it could mean only one thing. It was Seb’s obsession to let some fresh air into the room at dawn and Marco had gotten used to it. Of course, the cold air was much easier to bear when the younger one was lying next to him, holding him in his arms, spooning him from behind. But this time, Marco was alone, his boyfriend nowhere to be seen.

At least Seb had stayed with him during the whole night, or at least Marco guessed so. The good thing about staying at the hospital as a BVB player was that the nurses didn’t treat him as a patient. He was their guest, not a sick person who needed to be looked after. No one had come in to check on him and that meant that Seb could sit by his side and they had talked long into the night. Right until fatigue took over Marco and he feel into a deep and undisturbed sleep. He was very grateful that he had talked to both Seb and Erik right after the incident and that he had his peace of mind.

He noticed the tray with his breakfast on the nightstand next to his bed. He sat up and balanced the tray on his legs, his stomach grumbling already. Seb was right; hospital food did taste bad, but it was compensated for with the portions; it was by far not enough for Marco and whenever a nurse brought in his food, he ate it without minding the taste.

He was about to take the first bite when the ward’s door opened. Marco looked up smiling, expecting his boyfriend to appear in the doorway, but instead, he saw his mother. Not that he wasn’t happy to see her. His mother had always been his number one fan and supporter. Without her, he wouldn’t have dealt with his minor injuries so easily. She always managed to put his struggles into perspective and it was a weight off Marco’s shoulders.

“Can I come in?” She asked almost shyly.

“Of course, Mama!” Marco beamed at her. “If you don’t mind that I’ll be eating.”

“Not at all.” She smiled, too. “You need a lot of rest and energy and we won’t disturb you for long. We just wanted to check that you were alright.”

“We?” Marco asked, chewing a huge chunk of bread.

“Marco, you really shouldn’t speak with your mouth full.” His mother shook her head disapprovingly. “Your father is here, too. He just went to the cafeteria to get us a coffee.”

“I see.” Marco said. This time, he was careful to swallow the food first. “I’m glad you came.”

“That’s only natural, darling.” She caressed Marco’s cheeks. “But I’m surprised that Seb isn’t here.”

“Oh, he was there yesterday and late in the evening. I guess he went home before he went to work.” Marco explained, determined not to trouble his parents with their little conflicts yet alone with Erik’s affection, but the longing for his boyfriend in his voice gave him away.

“Did you have a row?” His mother asked concerned and Marco’s dad chose this very moment to enter the ward.

“A row with whom?” He asked, balancing two coffees in his hand while he closed the door.

“Seb.” Marco’s mother turned to him. She spoke as if she knew everything that had happened.

“Can I have a word, too?” Marco asked annoyed. “Yes, we had a row, but it’s completely normal considering the circumstances.”

“Why, what has happened?”

“Manuela, let him finish.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Marco nodded at his father gratefully. “So we had a row, but we’ve made up. Kind of.” He added with a sour expression. “It’s really nothing to be worried about. We’re fine.”

“Are you sure? You can trust us with anything and come to us if things get rough.”

“Manuela!” The head of the family burst out. “Don’t try to convince him that they have a problem. If Marco says they are fine, then they are fine! Why would he lie about such a thing?”

“I’m sorry.” She said. “And what did the doctors say? How serious is your injury? Why are you in hospital in the first place? I thought you were supposed to heal at home.”

“Yeah, but there was a small complication and they aren’t very trustful with players who get injured again in such a short time.”

“I’m afraid it’s my fault, Mrs. Reus.” Seb’s voice cut through the hospital room. Marco looked at the door. He had no idea when his boyfriend had sneaked in, but it must have been at least a few minutes ago. Every face turned towards the raven-haired, but he took the sudden attention well. “Hello! Am I allowed to join you or is it an all-Reus meeting?”

“Oh, don’t be stupid, Seb!” Marco’s mom chuckled as she got up and hugged the young man. “You are part of the family anyways!”

“Thanks.” Seb smiled and shook hands with Mr. Reus. “As I was saying, I’m afraid I didn’t take good care of your son. But, it won’t happen again, I hope you’ll forgive me.”

He addressed his words as much to Marco as he did to his parents and the blonde observed him incredulously. He had forgotten to eat; once again, where his folks were, a wonderful and nice Seb showed up. If only his boyfriend would manage to be like this whenever and wherever!

“I’m sure you will look after him.” Marco’s father chuckled. “But, I guess you don’t need us for that and we should leave. We really just hopped in to make sure you were alright. If you need anything, call us, son. We’re leaving you in good hands.”

He grabbed his wife’s hand and pulled her after him out of the room. Marco and Seb watched the scene in silence, only when the door was closed again did Seb move and gave Marco a good morning kiss on the blonde’s forehead.

“I see you haven’t told them about my stupidity. Thank you.” He whispered tenderly, meaning every single word.

“They don’t have to know about everything.” Marco shrugged, trying to play down his role, but at the same time, his boyfriend’s gratitude felt amazingly. “What’s that?” He pointed to a paper bag Seb was holding.

“A hamburger.”

“What for?”

“For you, naturally.” Seb said.

“I don’t think the doctors would approve…”

“You’ve had enough of the healthy junk.” Seb shrugged as he unwrapped the food and put it on the tray in front of Marco. “You should start eating before it gets cold.”

“Okay, what’s happened to you?” Marco chuckled, already taking a bite.

“Well, you missed me getting you in trouble and your mouth tasted like a freshly disinfected lab. It was a win-win situation for both of us.”

“Oh, so you wouldn’t have kissed me again if I hadn’t eaten something sinful?” Marco snapped with feigned resentment.

“Just shut up and eat.” Seb sighed impatiently, earning a laughter from the blonde.

“When do you have to go to work?” He asked between two bites.

“Not today.”

“What? How come?”

“It’s Champions League matchday today. Nothing to do for me.” Seb shrugged.

“But the U23 team…” Marco argued.

“They can go a day without me. I’ve chosen my priorities pretty badly lately. My place is next to you right now. Do you object?”

“Of course not.” Marco smiled, wiping his mouth after his delicious breakfast. Seb must have driven through the whole city just to get his favorite hamburger. “But won’t they miss you?”

“Not as much as you would. Or at least I hope so.” Seb sighed. “And I can have a day off.”

“Babe?” Marco asked carefully and Seb jerked his head up. “Don’t you want to check if the burger worked or not?”

A smug smile appeared on Seb’s face as he bent forward, closing down the distance between them. The blonde breathed in his male scent and could barely withhold his moan as Seb’s aftershave hit his nose. His boyfriend must have gone back home to change his clothes and take a quick shower.

Seb put his lips on Marco’s and licked over the line of the footballer’s lips tantalizingly. That was the last straw for Marco, he let out a needy moan and that was all Seb needed. His tongue crawled inside Marco’s mouth, starting a passionate and lengthy kiss. It was the same feeling as the evening before, but this time, the raven-haired didn’t pull out. He took his time exploring the well-known spots of Marco’s palate, brushing away the blonde’s tongue whenever it got in the way. It wasn’t a kiss of affection and equality, Marco realized.

Seb was _claiming_ him. He wanted to let him know how much he needed him, how much he wanted him to be his and only his. There was no place for anyone else in Marco’s life and there shouldn’t be a place for others in Marco’s heart. The midfielder sat in the bed incredulously, relishing every single moment of this strange kiss. Seb’s moves got more ardent and wild and he had half-climbed on the bed. And then, Marco felt it: Seb’s love shining through his passionate kiss. It was there, even though it was hard to notice at first. It was just like this with the younger one; you weren’t sure how he felt about you and then, he suddenly reminded you of his devotion.

Every pore of Seb’s body radiated love, his eyes shone with the strange blackness of his lust, his hands slipped under Marco’s T-shirt to feel the blonde’s naked skin. Their breathing got so heavy that Marco was afraid his brain wasn’t going to get enough oxygen if this kept on like this. His blood seemed to disobey his orders and gathered in a very special part of his body.

“Seb, what are you doing?” He finally freed himself of Seb’s tight hold when he felt the other one’s fingers reaching under his pants. Marco’s lips were swollen and bruised from the powerful kiss, but he didn’t mind it for a moment.

“Something I should have done much more and much more often.” Seb whispered. He put a chaste kiss on Marco’s sensitive neck and then he licked his way up to his ear just to purr two words full of desire. “ _Loving_ you.”

“But here?” Marco complained against his better will as Seb’s lips massaged his earlobe. Seb must have been very wary of his arousal and he exploited the situation to his own advantage.

“Come on, Marco. Be crazy with me.” Seb demanded breathlessly and the blonde had to suppress a laugh.

“No, babe!” He shook his head. He finally found the strength to cup Seb’s face with his two hands and he brought them in front of his lips. “You will get me when we’re home and alone, I promise.” He said smiling and leaned forward to kiss Seb. The raven-haired readied himself for the sweet touch, but just then, Marco quickly straightened up and in the end he planted a peck on Seb’s forehead. The disappointment on his boyfriend’s face finally caused him two laugh wholeheartedly since days.

 

* * *

 

Seb had kept his promise and never moved from Marco’s side apart from sneaking out of the hospital and then smuggling in different kinds of culinary pleasures. And Marco thanked him for them with great appetite, leaving his hospital food untouched and earning a telling off from his doctors for not eating anything. The two lovers only smiled under their breath and continued their day of enjoying each other’s company carelessly.

When the visiting hours were over though, Seb had to leave and Marco let him go with a heavy heart. He was going to miss his boyfriend in the upcoming days he had to spend in this hospital ward. Seb had changed since their confrontation and for the better. He must have realized how close he had gotten this time to losing Marco and he wasn’t going to risk the same again.

And now, as Seb was driving through the empty streets to the stadium, he wanted to do nothing else than turn around and watch the game with his love. He knew it was impossible and he would get Marco in trouble if he tried it.

It was a close match, but in the end, Dortmund were eliminated from the Champions League. Seb knew the media would blame everything on Marco’s absence, but he also knew the truth was more complex than that. They simply weren’t strong enough this season and they would get their chance next season. After the game, he went into the locker-room. He half-expected it to be empty, but to his surprise, Erik was sitting on the bench, staring at the wall absent-mindedly.

“Hey!” He greeted him. Erik jerked his head up as he noticed he wasn’t alone anymore. His first instinct was to be startled but then he saw that Seb had no evil intentions. “You didn’t even play and being one of the eight best teams in Europe is not something to brood over.”

“It’s not that.” Erik shook his head and it was everything he needed to say to get full understanding.

“Let’s go, I’ll take you home.” Seb suggested and walked to the defender to get his bag.

“No, I should probably take a walk and empty my head.”

“Yeah, sure, that will work.” Seb snorted skeptically. “Come on, you should get some rest.”

They walked to the parking lot in silence and they didn’t speak much on the drive, either. They both were focused on their own thoughts and Erik barely noticed the unfamiliar neighborhood Seb drove him through.

“Where are we?” He asked concerned when the car came to an unexpected halt.

“Look there.” Seb pointed towards a long line of people trying to get into a club. “That’s a gay club and those men visiting it are all gay. It's a safe place, no one recognizing you will out you against your will or blackmail you. There are teachers between them. Lawyers, clerks and who knows what else. But, they all have come to terms with their orientation and– they are happy, Erik. Sure, your life sucks right now and I don’t envy you for what you are going through. But many have gone through the same and they haven’t given up. It’s time for you to look forward and decided what you want. You have a bright future in front of you, I’m sure of that. Just be sure that you won’t let it slip away from you.”


	30. Childhood's End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't really tell you how I feel right now as we're approaching the end of the story. I must thank you once again for your wonderful support, your comments that just keep coming and I'm especially grateful that you also shared your ideas about how the story would continue according to you. It's been a very gainful experience for me and I think I've improved a lot as a writer mostly thanks to you. Please, keep that amazing support coming!  
> I need to emphasis the effect my wonderful beta Blue Night has had on this fic. I owe you a lot.

“I did it, Marco!” Seb shouted into his phone, maybe a bit louder than it was called for. His cheerful voice drew a lot of attention on the crowded street, with passersby looking disapprovingly at him for allowing himself such a display of cheerfulness. But, what was he supposed to do after all? This wasn’t an everyday business; it was something he had always dreamed of.

“What?” The blonde’s drowsy voice came from the speakers.

Marco was having enough of his injury and his convalescence, so he had decided to spend most of his waking hours with sleeping. Or at least, his mornings, much to Seb’s annoyance because he returned from work worn out, something the midfielder couldn’t really care about. He would have lied though if he said he didn’t enjoy Marco’s attention and their newly found closeness. They needed it badly after all the troubles they’ve been through and for the first time in many months, Seb honestly felt that they were on the right track and there was no force that could divert them.

“I’m a football coach!” Seb shared the cause of his immeasurable joy. “Or at least, I have a license to coach, it’s up to the clubs now to employ me.”

“Uh, wow, that’s fantastic news!” Marco yelled with quickly found enthusiasm. Seb could almost see him sitting up on the couch, styling his hair in the first place, a lopsided smile spreading on his sleep lined face. “When are you coming home? We must celebrate this!”

“I’m starting off right away.” Seb said, already unlocking his car. “I’ll be home in an hour and a half.”

“Great, I’ll cook us something for lunch.” Marco promised while Seb got in, quickly putting the key in the ignition. He really wanted to get to Marco as soon as possible. The previous days had been an utter nightmare for him. He had never been this anxious his entire life, mostly because he understood what this exam was about and that how much it actually meant to him. It had been really his dreams at stake and he had wanted to climb this challenge. He _did_ climb this challenge. “And Seb darling?” Marco started. “I’m so so proud of you!”

“Thanks.” Seb smiled grimly. “Keep the lunch warm and the champagne cold.” He said boldly before he said goodbye and hung up.

He drove off with an explosion and he practically raced on the highway, but nothing was fast enough for him that day. He didn’t think about the next step; he still wasn’t sure if Dortmund would offer him a contract. He hadn’t proven Klopp much when he had had the chance and even though he had worked hard for the reserve team, he didn’t know if he had grown up to the expectations of the trainer. He hoped though that he had.

He enjoyed working for this club. Everything about BVB was wonderful and perfect for him. He got the freedom he needed to feel good and the support he needed. Klopp was like a mentor to him and not only professionally. He could always rely on his advice and he hadn’t forgotten how the coach had helped him to get together with Marco again. _Marco_. Why would Seb deny it? His boyfriend was the biggest reason why he wanted to stay at the club. He didn’t only want to live with him. He wanted to win something with him because he knew how much Marco longed for a trophy with Dortmund.

His mood didn’t change a bit during his drive home. In fact, he only got more excited about celebrating with Marco. Since their making up, he had experienced every minute away from the blonde with twice as big longing than before. He was crazy in love again. No, he had been crazy in love from day one, he had only forgotten it somehow.

“Here’s my coach!” Marco greeted him in the doorway as he climbed the few steps leading to the front door.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Seb warned him with a stupid grin of satisfaction on his face. “I’m still not _your_ coach.”

“Oh, you are, in many ways.” Marco reassured him and pulled him in for a passionate kiss.

Seb let the blonde take the lead right away and Marco utilized it immediately. His tongue made its way into the sweet cavern of the raven-haired man’s mouth, showing him his pride and happiness. Every touch of Marco’s radiated love and Seb nearly lost himself completely in the arms of his amazing boyfriend.

“I’m sure Kloppo will want you in his team. He wouldn’t have brought you in if he hadn’t meant it seriously.” Marco whispered after he finally broke the contact. “Let’s get to the kitchen, I’ve cooked your favorite.”

“Thanks, mom!” Seb said with cheekiness.

“What?” Marco looked back at him incredulously.

“Nothing.” Seb smiled amused. “You just sounded like a caring and loving mother. It’s really not that effective if I have to explain it to you.”

“Oh, really?” Marco snapped up his head in a movement as if he was offended, but his smile hiding in the corners of his mouth gave him away. “Well, sorry for not growing up to your wonderful sense of humor.”

“Yeah, you are missing a lot.” Seb chuckled as they made their way to the kitchen.

Marco didn’t disappoint him. The table was set magnificently and the smell of their lunch was simply irresistible. Seb sat down and Marco was quick to serve him the meal, earning a huge grin from the younger one.

“How did I deserve you?” Seb mused out loudly.

“Please, you’re making me blush.” Marco waved away his compliment very theatrically.

“I mean it, Marco.” Seb stated. “You are the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. Not even this license or a job offer can top what you brought into my life.”

Marco was left out of words. He took Seb’s hand in his own, his face a window to the affection he felt for his boyfriend. He didn’t care about his blush anymore because the tender look Seb saved for him made him forget about anything but their love and in that moment it was all that mattered to both of them. They would have stayed like this for eternity if it hadn’t been for Seb’s phone that started to ring.

“See, I’ve told you.” Marco chuckled when he saw the number on the display. “Put it on speaker, please. I want to hear him.”

Seb picked up the phone and did as Marco had asked him.

“Can I be the first one to congratulate to you, Sebastian?” Klopp’s raspy voice cut through the kitchen’s silence.

“No, you’re just a tad late for that.”

“Yes, I thought so.” Klopp laughed. “But, I must say I’m really happy for you. To be honest, it’s exactly what I expected of you. You passed the exam and with distinction! All credit for that.”

“Thanks.” Seb nodded, trying to avoid Marco’s wide eyes.

“So,” Klopp drawled, “should I ask Michael to ready your contract?”

“What?” Seb cried out in shock.

“You didn’t expect us to educate you and then let you go, did you?” Klopp’s voice sounded accusingly. “You are a natural talent and you have worked hard for our youngsters. I think it’s about time for you to make your contribution to the senior squad.”

“Wow, thank you!” Seb cheered. “I promise I won’t disappoint you and that I will sit on the bench the entire game.”

“Yeah, you should do that.” Klopp laughed. “We should really agree on that contract as soon as possible, because officially you can’t work for us anymore unless you are our employee. We will offer you the standard contract for novices but of course you are free to negotiate your terms.”

“I don’t think it will be a problem, _boss_.” Seb said.

“Great. And once again, congratulations!” Klopp said before a periodic beeping took over his voice from the other end of the line. Seb locked his phone and finally looked at his boyfriend. Marco was still in his previous state, staring at him with an expression of shock.

“With distinction?” He asked disbelievingly. “Why haven’t you told me that?” He looked even prouder than before.

“Because I didn’t want you to think that you are together with a nerd.”

“Well, at least you are _my_ nerd and that makes you even more valuable to me.” Marco smiled. “I can’t tell you how proud I am. This is all you have dreamed of and now it is reality. You deserve it, Seb. You are a wonderful person and I couldn’t ask for a more caring and–”

“Let’s not get carried away here.” Seb laughed. “I’m far from being perfect and I’m sure you could–”

“But I don’t want to.” This time Marco cut him short. “We aren’t the perfect couple. But, we are a couple who love each other and always find a way back to each other. That’s what really matters.”

“Cheers to that!” Seb raised his glass of champagne. “But I hope we won’t have to test the verity of your words.”

“I agree.” The clinking of their glasses echoed in the room. “By the way, since we are at surprises… You won’t be the only one in this household signing a contract with BVB in the near future.”

“What? You are going to extend?” Seb snapped in a mixed wave of anger and awe. “Why didn’t you talk about it earlier?”

“I wanted to surprise you.” Marco defended himself. “I know how much you love this city and the club and– I thought you would be glad.”

“I am, but I thought you would discuss with me something like this. Your career... You are accepted in the world of football and you could easily eye bigger teams.”

“Money and fame isn’t everything Seb.” Marco shook his head. “I can never repay all the things this club has done for me. I will sign a contract with the same terms, I will only extend my stay here. I don’t want to go anywhere, I want to be by your side, that’s the most important thing for me right now. And I’m not naïve: I know a transfer wouldn’t be so easy. But, I’m content here and I’m looking forward to achieving my dreams here. How did you say it once when Bayern made an offer for me? _‘Over there, you would be one of the many, here you are the one?’_ It was an advice from your heart and I’m taking it. I haven’t been surer of a decision in my life.”

“I see.” Seb said. “And I’m glad you decided this way. It’s just so strange… we will actually work together. Can you believe it?”

“Yes, I can.” Marco laughed. “Because it _is_ true. And I expect you to do your best. I want to win trophies, Seb. Nothing less will do!”

They laughed wholeheartedly and ate their lunches in silence, digesting the good news and thinking about their bright future. They had put all their troubles behind them, they had overcome every difficulty and they were now planning forward.

“Do you know what we should do?” Marco asked suddenly, wiping his mouth after swallowing the last bite.

“What?” Seb jerked his head up, looking expectantly at his boyfriend.

“Visit your parents.” Marco said with all seriousness, but Seb burst out laughing, having it difficult to breather.

“Oh, you are not joking.” He turned serious all of a sudden. “Did you hit your head too when you got that injury and the first symptoms are appearing now?”

“Seb, don’t mock me. I know you have, um, problems with them, but this would be a fantastic opportunity to make up with them. This is a huge news in your life and I’m sure you want to share it with them.”

“Yeah, but I thought an SMS would do.” Seb mumbled. “I know you mean good, but me and my folks… that’s a story beyond help.”

“Please, Seb. I want you to get along with them.” Marco looked at them with pleading eyes and Seb realized that he wasn’t going to be able to say no.

 

* * *

 

Seb wasn’t ashamed of Marco in front of his parents. Quite the contrary, it was exactly the other way around. In the course of their two years long relationship, they had visited the Kruse house only once and after that Seb had fallen behind his visits, too. He had never expected his father to be delighted by Marco just the way he hadn’t expected him to ever come to terms with his flagrant sin: that he was gay. It had been the reason for their estrangement. When Seb had come out to his parents, his mother had shown him total support, but his father had simply announced that he didn’t consider him his son anymore. And while there were many attempts to get them to speaking terms at least, most of them arranged by Mrs. Kruse, the two men remained on hostile terms that went no further than cold birthday wishes every year.

If it hadn’t been for Marco, Seb wouldn’t have visited his childhood home, but the blonde had been very eager to get to know his boyfriend’s family. That dinner had ended with disaster, the only positive to take was Seb’s sister’s and Marco’s newly developed friendship. But, Greta wasn’t going to be here today and with that, the only hope that they wouldn’t fall together by the ears was gone.

Seb’s mother opened the door for them with a huge grin on her face. She was a woman aged in sacrificing everything she had for his family. Seb really couldn’t have asked for a better mother and she was the only reason why he sometimes felt pangs of consciousness for neglecting his parents. But, he tried to meet her as often as possible, in secret. It was ridiculous really. Who was his father so that he had to talk to her mother as if they were on opposing sides?

“Thank you, Mrs. Kruse for having us.” Marco greeted the goodwife as he gave her a bouquet.

“Oh, please, it should be only natural.” She waved away the blonde’s gratitude chuckling, sending a gaze full of sorrow and sadness towards his son. “Frank, the boys are here!” She shouted in the living room and Seb could hear his father get up unwillingly from his armchair.

This was going to be the worst part of the evening and he wanted to get over with it as soon as possible. After this, he could ignore his father, but they couldn’t just pretend that he wasn’t in the house, much to the annoyance of both of them. It was for the best if they stayed out of each other’s ways and this feeling was clearly visible on the face of the bald man who made his way into the hall. His black eyes that were the older version of Seb’s carefully avoided looking at either of them and he stopped next to his wife with his crooked nose in the air.

“I’m glad you could find the time for us, Mr. Kruse.” Marco broke the heavy silence in the room. He stepped to the older man and handed him a wine bag. “It’s really important for us.”

“A bottle of wine, how original!” He inspected his present mockingly.

“If you don’t like it, you don’t have to keep it.” Seb snarled. “As far as I’m concerned, I can break it on your head as well!”

“Seb, please!” His mother told him off. “Why don’t we try to be a normal family just for one evening? The dinner is ready, we should sit down and eat before it gets cold.”

They proceeded into the small dining room that held so many pleasant memories for Seb. He had loved living in this house. They had been a great family right until his coming out; that single thing had changed everything and Seb feared that it was a terminal change, something they could never overcome. No nice words or gestures would make him forget about the way his father had betrayed him the moment he had needed him the most.

They started eating in silence, buried in their own thoughts. Seeing them, you would hardly guess that they were more than strangers who by chance got together for a dinner. But, this was the only way to stop Seb and his father from arguing or throwing verbal threats at each other.

“How’s Greta?” Seb finally asked.

“Oh, she’s fine.” Mrs. Kruse filled him in. “She would have come, but she had to go on a business trip. And she’s got a new boyfriend. You should see them, they are a lovely couple. She has found a wonderful boy this time.”

“I’m happy for her.” Seb tried to ignore his father’s sarcastic snort. “She does deserve someone special.”

“She said she would visit you when she gets back.”

“Great.” Seb nodded. It was pretty hard to maintain a conversation with a heavy pressure filling the air. So he turned to his almost empty plate and started to inspect the few vegetables lying there untouched.

“This was delicious indeed, Mrs. Kruse.” Marco wiped his mouth with his handkerchief. “Maybe you could send me the recipe?”

“Thank you, Marco dear–” She was cut short by his husband’s loud laughter.

“Don’t even try to pretend that you are a fantastic domestic couple!”

“Frank!” She snapped angrily.

“No, Mom, he’s right.” Seb said in a mocking voice. “I could never grow up to his example. He has really been a wonderful family man his entire life.”

“Now what is that supposed to mean?” He raised his voice. Seb took a deep breath, ready to retort with an offensive note. Marco noticed his fury and quickly placed his hand on Seb’s thigh, squeezing it lightly.

“Seb, please.” He whispered.

“Listen to your sweet boyfriend, Seb!” The head of the family laughed. “I’m sure he will reward you duly.”

“Frank, this is–”

“I won’t let you talk about Marco like that!” Seb was now shouting, his neck veins bulging. “You apologize to him!”

“For what? Telling the truth?” He snorted.

A deathly silence fell between them and Marco could feel the air smoldering between the two men who sprung up simultaneously and exchanged fierce looks. Only now he saw how much Seb was like his father; not in his hatred but in his style and hotheadedness. They were two men standing up for their opinions and while it was very easy for Marco to choose the view to support, he had to recognize the passion in the older Kruse’s words. In fact, it was so big that he feared that not even Seb stood a chance against it and he came to regret his decision to convince his boyfriend to come here. He glanced at Mrs. Kruse and they understood each other in a split second. Both of them take their men and cool down the air before blood would be shed.

Marco reached forward and grabbed Seb’s hand. As if his touch had woken up the young man from a deep sleep, Seb’s features softened and he let out his anger in a heavy exhalation. He plopped down on his chair and sent an apologetic look towards the blonde and his mother.

His mother had a harder time calming down her husband. Frank Kruse remained standing, a fire in his eyes, a cutting glance of disgust on the two young men daring to show their love in front of him. He leaned on his hands pressed against the tabletop with such force that his knuckles were white.

“Sit down, darling.” Mrs. Kruse brushed over his hands tenderly, unshed tears welled up in her eyes and her voice begging for some tolerance. He listened to her, but his attitude didn’t change a bit. His eyes still looked ready to kill his son any time.

“So what did you want to share with us, Seb darling?” She turned to his son, regret written all over her face.

“I’m going to get a job.” Seb said, his previous anger forgotten at least a little bit. His voice was ringing with the same passion it rang whenever he talked about football-related topics. “You know that I’ve been finishing a coaching course and it looks like BVB will employ me.”

“Wow, that’s wonderful darling! I’m so happy for you!” She exclaimed out of breath and words. Seb sent a sideway glance towards his father and he could see surprise sit out on his face. And there was also a feeling vaguely resembling pride. “What do you say, Frank?”

“Yeah, that’s– great. Congratulations.” He stammered. He quickly shot down his eyes in uneasiness.

“What’s the problem now, father?” Seb snapped, obviously not satisfied with his reaction. “That I let you down by not screwing up my life entirely? Or that I will earn more money than you? Or does it just have to do with me being gay like everything else?”

Seb got surprised looks from all sides. His father took a deep breath and slowly got up, looking suddenly exhausted and broken. His eyes swept over the others now watching him in silence. “Thank you for the dinner, it was delicious.” He said slowly. “If you forgive me, I think I will retire now.” Not waiting for an answer, he turned away and left with heavy footsteps, leaving behind a silence, the main actor of the evening.

“He loves you, Seb.” His mother finally croaked out.

“He doesn’t let it show.” Seb shrugged.

“But it’s true. When you told us that you would be on the bench for that Bayern match, he went to the stadium to see you. And when Bild came up with that horrific article about you, he almost got into a fight with a colleague protecting you. I think he has regretted how he treated you and is mad at himself for kicking you out of the house.”

“He doesn’t act like it.” Seb argued unmoved.

“You are certainly not making his job easier.” There was concern in her voice and Marco could relate to her worries. He had seen as hatred had turned Seb into a horrible person, and he knew that Seb could never get rid of the possibility of going down that road again.

“Why do you stay with him, mom?” Seb asked suddenly, drawing a silent gasp from the old woman. “He does not deserve you and you would deserve someone much better.”

“Don’t start this, Seb!” She shook her head. Her tears now started to flow and she didn’t even trouble herself with wiping them away. “I love him. I can’t forgive him how he treated you, but I see him every day and I mean what I’ve said. He’s suffering from his own conscience. I have sworn to him a lifelong fidelity and I was brought up better than breaking my promises. And I hope that I was successful in teaching my children that much, if nothing else. Everyone deserves a second chance, Seb! Everyone.” She repeated for emphasis and Marco had to gulp because her words reached his heart and he felt a huge lump in his throat. It was just a few days earlier that he had given Seb not a second but a hundredth chance and now it was up to the raven-haired to do the same.

“I cannot do that, mother.” Seb shook his head, his voice filled with as much sadness as Marco had never heard from his boyfriend before. “You are not the one who had to live through all that hate. I would have accepted it from anyone and maybe even forgiven. But– my own father? I looked up to him when I was a kid. I wanted to be like him. And when I grew up, he spat in my eye and told me to leave his house. How can you ask me to forgive that?”

“I’m not asking it for his sake.” She grabbed his hands. “You have to do it for your own sake. And for Marco’s. You can’t hold all that wrath forever, because it will destroy you and the wonderful person you are.”

Marco looked sympathetically at his boyfriend, not sure what he would say next. He saw the inner battle Seb fought and he would have liked to help him so much, but it was a decision Seb had to make alone. The raven-haired young man sighed in the end and got up.

“I need to take some fresh air.”

He walked through the dining room and the lobby, his finger brushing against the white walls. He made his way outside, to the back porch. He had spent so much time here when he had been a child. He had planned his future here, in the shades of the trees. A future he had lost and then found again. He loved the privacy he could find here. But this time, he wasn’t alone. He watched silently the silhouette of the man leaning against the railing. His father must have sensed his intense gaze because he spun around.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were here. I will go back inside, then.” Seb said.

“No, please, stay.” The older man stopped him. “I want to– I want to apologize to you. My behavior was unacceptable.”

“That’s something we agree on.” Seb nodded coldly.

“Seb!” He begged. “This is not what I wanted! I can’t bear the thought of us being so estranged.”

“In that case, you shouldn’t have thrown me out of my home or insult my boyfriend or– just everything you did, hurt me, Dad! I hate you for it!” All his grudges burst out in a sudden display of emotions.

“And you have all right to do so.”

“Do you know what I’ve been through?” Seb shouted. “Have you ever cared about my feelings? Didn’t you see that you were ruining me?”

“I did.” He said slowly. “And I was disgusted with myself. When you were born, I was the happiest man in the world. I wanted to give you everything, I wanted to be the perfect father for you and I never wanted to let you down. And when you came out to us, I just couldn’t process it. I was asking myself what I had done wrong. Because I knew how the world is. I thought that you would never get happy because you were gay.”

“So you decided to join the world?” Seb accused him.

“Yes.” His father sighed. “And it was the most cowardly thing to do. I turned my back on you instead of standing behind you. And when I realized what I had done, it was too late. You hated me and I hated myself.”

“Then why did you keep on hurting me? Why didn’t you just call me and apologized?”

“Would you have listened to me?” He asked weakly and Seb was left speechless because his father was right. “And honestly, I was so mad at myself that I didn’t want you to forgive me. You deserved a better father than I ever was to you.”

“Oh, just stop it!” Seb snapped. “It’s bullshit and you know it! If you wanted to make up with me, you would have found a way, or at least you would have tried!”

“No, Seb, listen to me! I don’t want you to forgive me!”

“That’s good, because I won’t!”

“I just wanted to know how I felt about us. The truth is that I want you to give me another chance, but I would understand if you thought it impossible.” They fell silent for a minute. “I remember you sitting here long in the evenings, watching the night sky. You have always reached for the stars, but I would never have thought that you would actually get them. But you did, and I’m proud of you and it hurts me so much not to be able to tell you that. So what do you think? Could you give me a second chance?” He looked at his son pleadingly, his otherwise strict eyes now full of regret.

 

* * *

 

Marco tried hard to avoid looking at Mrs. Kruse who was sobbing silently in front of him. He had nothing on his mind that would console her and he didn’t think there was anything in this world that could cheer her up a bit apart from Seb and his father making peace. He had never thought that their troubles lay this deep. Surely, Seb had told him about his coming out and then there had been that one family visit, but he had always guessed that the main problem was their prides and nothing more. Ironically enough, it was their prides that now stood in the way of them making up.

“I must thank you, Marco.” Mrs. Kruse’s voice brought him out of his musing.

“Me? For what?”

“For your patience.” She smiled. “I know my son, I know how hard it is with him, I brought him up and I oftentimes wonder what went wrong with him. He had been an adorable kid, but Frank– he had been harsh on him when he told us that he was gay. But you must understand Frank, too. He didn’t see further than Seb’s orientation. I though saw his happiness when he introduced you to us. And ever since that day, he’s become happier and a better person, and it’s all your merit.”

“Oh, no…” Marco blushed.

“He’s a much better man than his father has ever been.” She continued, wiping her tears. “I know he has hurt you many times and still, you stand by him like not even his own parents could. When he left this house, he was a miserable young man, neglecting any responsibility. Next to you, he is the son I have always longed for.”

And in that moment, said son returned, obviously overwhelmed by his feelings. They shot him a questioning look, especially after they saw his father following him into the dining room.

“We’ve talked.” Seb said simply and his mother sprung up and hugged him.

“Oh, darling, I’m so so happy for you! You can’t imagine how relieved I am!”

“Mom, it’s not over. Things aren’t all wonderful between us and they will never be.”

“Believe me, every improvement means the world to me.” She smiled and then walked to her husband.

“Can we go?” Seb asked Marco and the blonde got up and joined him. “Thanks for the dinner!”

“I’m sorry Marco for all the things I said. I was blind to your love and I wish the two of you all the happiness in the world.”

“Thank you, it means a lot.” Marco said as Seb pulled him out of the room. Especially to Seb, even if he doesn’t show it, he added with his eyes.

The raven-haired didn’t stop until they reached their car. Once they got in though, he let all the mixed emotions he felt sit on his face and he started to cry uncontrollably. Marco leaned over the gear immediately and took him in his arms. Seb snuggled closer to him and for a moment he became a defenseless child who almost made Marco break down in tears, as well. He rocked Seb silently until his tears dried up and he composed himself just a little bit.

“Is everything okay?” He asked then.

“Yes. Now it is.”


	31. Champions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't even try to describe how I feel, I think you can guess it. I am so grateful that you took this journey with me and 'my' boys. A huge thank you for your support, kudos and comments, it helped me a lot. Please, don't forget that there's more to read in the sequel and now and then, you might meet Marco and Seb there as well. :-)  
> A special thank goes to Blue Night for your wonderful hints, notes, suggestions and all those things that made this fic a lot lot better. :-)

After the Champions League exit and the title long gone to Munich, there was only one competition where Dortmund could still leave their marks: the German Cup. It was something that everyone at the club knew and was looking forward to. After they ensured their second place in the league, the job for all the coaches, analysts and statisticians was clear; do everything to win the cup. There was only one way of doing that: by beating the usual suspect – Bayern.

Seb relished the situation. He enjoyed that he could work with full force on something this important. He had become a respected member of BVB’s coaching team and no one dared to question his place, not even the media. He had become a regular on the bench for Dortmund’s matches and one time – even though it was only the quarter-final against a third tier team – Klopp let him do the tactical meeting for the attack. It had been a huge step for him and Marco had let him feel how proud he had been of him during that meeting. Some might have found his intense gaze intimidating, but to Seb, it had been full of love and admiration. Seb usually helped out in coaching and setting up the offensive line and that’s why he was completely taken by surprise when Klopp announced their assignments for the cup final preparations.

The players had been paired up, with every pair getting an expert who had to explain to them how to exploit the opponents’ weaknesses and counter their strengths. When Marco’s and Auba’s names came up, Seb could have sworn that it was him who would get the duo. After all, the many years long cooperation with his boyfriend, even if it wasn’t formal, wasn’t unnoticeable.

“Sebastian, you will be working with Mats and Erik.” Klopp looked at him sure of himself.

Mats and _Erik_? This had to be a mean and stupid joke from the head coach. He knew about Seb’s and Erik’s clash and while they had learned to work together and Seb could even go that far to call their relationship slightly friendly, the situation was far from being optimal for a successful cooperation. Mats was different, the captain had welcomed Seb to the club warmly and had supported him from day one.

But, there was nothing Seb could do about his assigned duty. If Klopp thought that he was the most suitable for this job, he had to accept it – at least, in front of his colleagues. He nodded, allowing himself only a slight mocking smile as he let the manager know that he had understood his role. The meeting ended with a boring and needless speech reminding everyone of how important this fixture was for the club. The fans and the players longed for a trophy and the coaches were no different. They were only people passionate about football too, after all.

“Why did you make me work with the defense?” Seb walked to Klopp after the head coach had dismissed the gathering. He was careful not to sound like someone questioning the older man’s authority or decision. He was sincerely curious about Klopp’s sudden change of mind and maybe was unsure about his own capabilities. “I have never worked with defenders and I know a lot more about attacking.”

“You are afraid of working with Erik, aren’t you?” Klopp shook his head amused. “No need to conceal it, I can see through you, Sebastian.”

“Okay, maybe Erik has something to do with it.” Seb admitted. He had become wiser than to argue with his boss. “But, I’m not sure if I’m the right one for–”

“But I am sure.” Klopp cut him off. He didn’t look offended or angry with Seb; quite to the contrary, he looked at him with patience and sympathy on his face. “I understand your worries. You know amazingly much about attacking and that’s why I’m convinced there’s no one in our current group of experts who knows Robben and Lewy better than you. Maybe you have wanted to have a bigger role in our victory with teaching Marco how to put a ball past Neuer. But, I’m trusting you with countering the danger of two of the best attackers in Germany. That’s a huge responsibility and I think you’ve grown up to this challenge. Just don’t let me down.”

“No, I won’t.” Seb smiled relieved. Now, that Klopp had put things into a different perspective, he felt much better about his job.

“Whom did you get?” Marco asked nervously as Seb climbed into the passenger seat. The blonde had been anxious about this final ever since the semi-final victory against Wolfsburg. He really was like a little child who wanted to rule the world and saw the cup victory as the first step towards that goal.

“Don’t get too excited. Mats and Erik.” Seb sighed, sorry to bring his boyfriend down.

“Oh.” Marco gaped, looking like a sulky child just for a moment. “I see. Just– be nice to him, okay?”

“Marco!” Seb snapped, but it quickly turned into a soft laughter. “I’m long over him hitting on you. Erik is long over hitting on you. We are friends by now, remember? If I have issues then only because I don't want to ruin our friendship because of me being bossy. I really start to suspect that you are the only one forcing this issue! Who knows, maybe it even flattered you to finally have a fanboy?”

“Seb, don’t joke with that!” Marco said annoyed. “I’m fully in love with you and I wouldn’t snub you for anyone, you know that.”

“Of course I know.” Seb whispered tenderly. He leaned over the gear and put a chaste kiss on Marco’s cheek. “Shall we go now? There’s a lot of work to be done if we are to win that final!” The blonde agreed with him with a wholehearted laugh as they drove off towards their home.

 

* * *

 

That lot of work turned out different from what Marco had expected. He had been looking forward to tiring but also entertaining weeks of preparation. Analyzing football matches and opponents was fun with Seb, mostly because of the raven-haired’s sarcastic comments. And while Marco enjoyed working with other coaches, too, no one could break down the main ideas better than Seb. But this time, after seeing how the quest to beat Bayern took over Seb, he was actually glad that it wasn’t him who had to suffer under his coaching.

The guy had become a working machine, and couldn’t be bothered for a few sweet moments with Marco in the training complex. Luckily though, at home he usually took on the role of the caring and tender boyfriend. Usually. Just one week before the big match, all hell broke loose and Marco could barely see his love’s face, since it mostly was buried in the TV screen, watching Bayern’s every game in the season. Marco grumbled a little bit, but then, he got used to it. It wouldn’t last for long and he knew he could forgive Seb if they would win the cup. He was sure of himself and his teammates in the attack; they would score enough to beat Bayern. It was the defense that needed to make sure their goals wouldn’t be answered. One evening though, Marco felt that Seb went too far.

“Okay, I get it that you want to be the fantastic coach who saves Dortmund from another last minute failure, but you ought to have a life apart from football!” He stormed into the living room where Seb was watching two previous games simultaneously. “You must take a rest, it’s not good for you, for me or for our relationship.”

“Marco, just twenty-seven more minutes.” Seb pouted after checking the clock on the screen.

“No! You’re coming with me right now!” Marco stated, but Seb obviously didn’t hear him as he was more interested in a counter-attack Leverkusen led against Bayern. “You are unbelievable!” He snapped. “You must–”

“I’ve got it, Marco!” Seb cried out in joy and he sprung up, running to his bewildered boyfriend and embracing him tightly. Marco looked at him questioningly. “We can beat Neuer!”

“I thought you were supposed to set up the defense…”

“I was.” Seb nodded, oblivious to the blonde’s somewhat scared look. Klopp didn’t like it when his players or staff members acted on their own. He expected everyone to do their job and nothing else. “But this is important for us. I should call Klopp and tell him.”

“Right now?” Marco asked now seriously concerned when he saw Seb reaching for his phone. “It’s the middle of the night! You have gone completely insane. This final has taken you over. You want to do your best and that’s great, I really appreciate it. I want to do my best, too. But there must be a line between work and life and you crossed that line long ago.”

“But what if I miss something and we lose because of that? This isn’t the league, we won’t have any second chances here.” Seb asked anxiously.

“My dear Seb!” Marco smiled and took the younger one in his arms, drawing soothing circles on his back. “You are not the only member of this club and everyone has the opportunity to make his contribution. Don’t strain yourself, just do your job and do it the best way you can and no one will doubt that you gave all you had. But, now is not the time for work. You will come with me, have a good night’s rest and continue tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Seb gave in with a sigh and they went to bed.

 

* * *

 

If Seb had taken Marco’s advice the previous evening, he didn’t act accordingly the next morning. He participated in the coaches’ usual meeting where they had to present their ideas to Klopp and try to convince him and each other that what they had prepared for the game would work. Seb had an easy job. Klopp had been right; he knew everything about Robben and Lewy and he had found a way to suit this knowledge Mats’ and Erik’s strengths. It took him five minutes to awe everyone in his audience and he could have sworn that he saw Klopp fully satisfied with him. But, what he had built with his quick explanation, he ruined once the meeting was over and he walked to the head coach.

“I know it’s not my responsibility–” He drawled and he couldn’t get further than that. Klopp jerked up his head and looked at him threateningly, his previous contentment gone from his eyes.

“In that case, you might have finish this sentence right away.” He stated firmly. Seb understood the situation and he felt that it would be wise to back down right away, but he was simply too stubborn to do that. He took out a file from his rucksack and held it out for Klopp.

“Please, just take a look at it.”

The older man got it angrily and snapped the file open. His eyes scanned the few pages full of images scribbled over by Seb. He didn’t look impressed. In fact, he looked up at the raven-haired with a questioning look over his glasses.

“Thanks, Sebastian. When I will need some help with setting up a circus act, I’ll be sure to call you.” With that, he dropped the papers to the desk next to him.

“No, it can work!” Seb hasted to reassure him. “If we manage to draw them out, especially Neuer, and if we get the ball high up the pitch, starting a quick counter-attack–”

“That’s already two ifs more than I would like.” Klopp raised his hand. “I understand your eagerness, but maybe you should use that on making sure that you do _your_ part of the preparations. And now go! Mats and Erik are waiting for you.”

“Great.” Seb pouted and reached for his papers, but Klopp stopped him and put his hand on the file. Seb allowed himself a half-smile. The sketch was staying and that meant that there was a glimmer of hope that Klopp would reconsider his opinion. It was more than nothing.

 

Klopp had been right and when Seb reached his office, the two defenders were already waiting for him impatiently. Erik was the more tactful one, with Mats checking his watch first and then looking disapprovingly at the young coach. Seb quickly opened the door for them and let them in before he followed them. His office was still what others would call messy and Mats looked around disbelievingly.

“Sorry for being late, I had to talk with Kloppo first.” Seb apologized. “Sit down, we should get started right away!”

“Well, it might be a problem.” Mats stood dazed in the middle of a sea of papers. “But maybe if I put these files over there…” He grabbed said documents and lifted them up, earning a cutting glance from Seb and a withheld whimper from Erik.

“No!” The brunette’s voice change into a high-pitched shriek in the matter of that single short word. Mats turned around and looked at him with a raised eyebrow, waiting for further explanation. “He doesn’t like it.” Erik shrugged, jerking his head in Seb’s direction. The team captain turned again and treated Seb with the same expression.

“You’re the captain. I can’t tell you what to do.” Seb said dryly as he pushed his chair on the papers in the players’ direction. He didn’t really need those papers anymore, all he had to share with them was already in his head, but still, no one should have been supposed to touch his things.

Mats watched him amazed but he shook his head eventually and let out a scoff and put the papers back where he had gotten them from. He walked to the chair Seb had set up facing the TV and sat down on it. The coach looked around in his office, looking for someone he could offer the younger defender, but there was no such thing near.

“Um, I’m sorry, Erik.” He bit on his lip. “You must content yourself with the floor or maybe the desk.”

“It’s okay. The floor is good.” The brunette reassured him and sat down immediately with his legs crossed.

“Shall we start finally?” Mats snapped rather annoyed.

Seb nodded and took his place next to the TV. He wasn’t really going to show them any footages, since he hadn’t cut out all the significant scenes, but he gathered he was supposed to keep this meeting formal and speaking in front of his audience was something he considered appropriate.

“Okay, so my job is to make sure that you know Robben and Lewandowski better than you know yourselves.” He started. It was a dramatic intro and he loved those. “It won’t be that easy, but I’m quite optimistic. First, we shall focus on Lewy, he’s the smaller threat.” Mats already opened his mouth to object, but Seb outpaced him and quickly pushed two files into the defenders’ hands. “Just look at the relevant statistics of him at Dortmund and Bayern. They speak for themselves.”

“I don’t see much difference.” Mats noted.

“Of course not!” Seb said. “The surface is the same. But the interesting things are underwater. First of all, he doesn’t get balls high up the pitch, he must get back to the midfield and take it himself. And more importantly, he gets complacent very easily. That’s what we will use.” He shared his plan with them with no little pride, but the two baffled pairs of eyes didn’t encourage him. “We will allow him to shoot a few times early on in the game. From long range, no serious shots. He will calm down and think he will have an easy job in the pitch and that’s when we strike. He will dribble a lot, try to hold onto the ball. We won’t allow him to do that, he gets frustrated, starts to look for the perfect chance, but he will never have it.”

“That sounds pretty dangerously to me.” Mats shook his head. “Are you sure Kloppo agreed to this?”

“Yes.” Seb nodded.

“I can see how it could work.” Erik said, listing through the file in his lap. There were a lot of images and written and drawn explanations on how to counter various standard situations the opponents usually set up.

“Great. Now onto the bigger fish: Robben.” Seb continued in a serious voice. “What can you tell me about him?”

“He’s fast with amazing technical abilities.” Erik said shyly. Seb could see how stressed he was, on the verge of breaking down under the pressure he was under. Seb could relate to his feelings; he had experienced something similar.

“Luckily for _you_ though, he’s beatable.” He emphasized Erik’s role on purpose. Sure, he was going to help him but that didn’t mean that he would let him wimp out of his duty. “He’s predictable. Goes wide, cuts in and curls the ball towards the far top corner with his left foot. Over and over again. And the more chances like this he misses, the more he tried instead of being a team player. Great outlooks for us.”

“But still–” Erik shook his head. “I don’t think I can stop him on my own.”

“That’s why we let Robert have his moments very early. We will be able to ignore him a bit and Mats can help out on the flanks.”

The captain looked at him with a completely different glance now. Seb still hadn’t convinced him entirely, but he had made a big impression on him. They kept discussing for another hour, going over possible situations and steps to take to stop them. Seb knew it was a big lottery; he could tell the players what to do, but then they would have to decide on the spur of the moment. Their unconscious mind would either remember what they talked about or not. It was a fifty-fifty chance really but worth the risk.

But, in the end of their briefing, Seb felt that they had accomplished something. When they were done, Erik sprung up and stormed out, suspiciously busy with his phone. Seb smiled to himself knowingly and Mats didn’t seem to notice. His eyes were fixed on the coach and soon he gave voice to what was on his mind.

“Something’s bothering you.” It wasn’t a question. Seb took a deep breath and nodded. “Can I help you?”

“Simply theoretically, what would you do if you were sure of yourself and that you could carry out something during a match, but Kloppo didn’t agree to it?”

“Well, simply theoretically,” the taller man started after a few seconds of consideration, “if I was really sure of myself, I would probably try it at the right time and then pray that I succeeded, because otherwise Kloppo would kick me in the ass.”

“I see.” Seb said, musing over the captain’s words. Mats left him like that and started off towards the door.

“I really hope it will work out though, you usually have good ideas.”

It was all the encouragement Seb needed. He thanked the captain for his trust and quickly redrew his sketches to be able to show them to Marco. He didn’t doubt for a single moment that his boyfriend would not turn him down. Even if he thought that Seb was crazy for coming up with something like this, he would give it a chance. And maybe Seb was crazy indeed. He could admit easily that his plan wasn’t magnificent or flawless. But above all, it was risky, but the payoff outweighed all the risks. And football was a game, even if many had forgotten about it. One was supposed to enjoy a game and take risks from time to time.

“How did Kloppo like your plan?” Marco asked once Seb got into his car. The younger one was wearing his sullen mask he knew worked so well on Marco.

“Not very much.” Seb shrugged, dropping his head but sending a sideway glance towards the blonde.

“Oh, babe, I’m sorry to hear that!” Marco grabbed his hand in empathy.

“I just don’t understand.” Seb said. “It would work!” He looked at his boyfriend with big pleading eyes.

“Does it involve me?” Marco asked just like Seb had wanted him to do.

“Yes. You have a pivotal role in it. And Auba, too. But it doesn’t matter, does it?” He sighed resignedly.

“Of course it does!” Marco exclaimed. “Listen, why don’t I invite Auba over for dinner and you can tell us what you planned. Maybe we can convince Kloppo that we could do whatever it is?”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that!” Seb objected but only for the show. He had guessed Marco’s every word before the blonde had uttered them.

“Do you know any sane reason why we keep up this act?” Marco asked, finally surprising Seb.

“What do you mean?” He asked recoiled.

“You try to manipulate me, you succeed, but I pretend that I haven’t noticed anything. It’s getting boring, isn’t it?” Marco laughed.

“Sorry.” Seb giggled like a child caught in a mischief. “But are you really in? Do you want to give it a try?”

“Yeah.” Marco said determined.

 

* * *

 

This wasn’t the first cup final Seb had experienced. For once, he had even gone to Berlin to see with his own eyes the craze that was going on on a matchday. And today he wasn’t an outsider. He was a member of the club these fans loved so much. Seeing a sea of yellow jerseys on their way to the stadium was uplifting already, but what awaited them when the players took on the pitch was beyond all imagination.

One half of the stands was dressed in yellow, the other one in red and Seb almost fainted at the sight. His legs threatened with giving up, so he quickly rushed to the bench and sat down. His heart was pounding in his throat and his stomach felt like a single knot. Suddenly he felt millions of doubts and questions popping up in his mind. He tried to reassure himself that they had gone through every possible scenario and they were perfectly prepared, but he couldn’t convince himself. He took a few deep breaths, to compose himself and get a hold over his sudden nausea. It wouldn’t look good if he threw up right there on the sidelines.

He nearly missed the start of the game, it was the crowd’s elevated buzzing that let him know that the ball was in motion. After that, he didn’t have much trouble focusing on the football. Both teams wanted to score an early goal and it only lead to mistakes in either attack. But, ten minutes into the game, it seemed as if Bayern were dominating, having shots one after another, all from long range and with a predictable trajectory. Despite that, Seb was satisfied. Bayern had a dozen of superstars, but they weren’t one team; it was easy to dismantle them, stopping any kind of team play. Soon, they started to pass the ball around without any real pressure, hoping that the Dortmund defenders would make a mistake and they could capitalize on it. But the defensive line stood their ground, although it was a matter of time they would get tired mentally and Seb knew what a trouble that would be.

But, luck seemed to be on Dortmund’s side that evening. They had a chance to counter and they got to the penalty area, only for Auba’s shot to be stopped by Neuer who pushed the ball over the goal for a corner. There was a mass of players in front of the goal when Marco curled the ball in. It found Mats’ head and from there it started off towards the top corner. Half the ground thought the ball was going in, but Dante sprung up in time to clear from the line. The rebound found Ilkay who sent the ball sailing through the air through all the players. Neuer didn’t stand a chance of seeing the ball that cruised past him and hit the back of the goal.

Half of the stadium shouted along with eleven players and the technical staff on the Dortmund bench. No one seemed to care about the sour truth that Seb saw clearly: the hard work started now. Bayern didn’t give them a rest until the break. They held them under pressure the entire time, but they couldn’t score. Robert was playing abysmal and Seb wouldn’t be surprised if he was going to be substituted.

The players and coaches made their way to the locker rooms. Seb stood aside next to the wall with the other coaches while Klopp gave his instructions. He really was a true leader. He shook up his players, pointed out their mistakes, praised them for their good moves; once again, Seb was completely amazed how much he managed to say in only fifteen minutes with time remaining to spend with each player individually. Seb walked quickly to Erik and Mats.

“You’re doing great. But be careful. They will push Robben even more right now and Robert will probably be brought off. It’s okay though, if you keep your concentration up, nothing bad will happen. And now, let’s do this!” He cried at the end passionately. He still thought this kind of encouragement needless or even ridiculous, but it worked based on the experiences of others so he wasn’t going to argue with that.

The break was over and they started off towards the pitch, Seb almost thinking about the possible changes in Bayern’s game plan. He sprung forward startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He spun around and faced Marco, who was more cheerful than a 1–0 lead would predicate.

“How am I doing, coach?” He grinned.

“Great.” Seb mumbled. Why wasn’t Marco taking things seriously? The job wasn’t done at all! “Although I’d be glad if you still focused instead of celebrating already.”

“Okay, Mr. Professional!” Marco pouted jokingly. “We are going to win, I can feel it.”

Seb nodded and let it like that while Marco overtook him and ran on the pitch again, taking his position for the second half. Dortmund were now attacking towards the half next to witch the team’s bench was with Marco next to the sidelines.

Bayern had adapted a more vertical style indeed, but for ten minutes, Dortmund stood still with only one quick counter-attack. Marco got to the edge of the penalty area, only to be stopped in a dubious tackle by Rafinha. There was an appeal for a penalty, but the referee was sure about himself and showed the players the signal to continue.

After an hour of intense football, there was another corner for Dortmund, this time Kuba taking it. The ball found Mats’ head again, and the defender was luckier. His header sailed through the air and found its way into the goal right under the crossbar. The BVB supporters held their breath for a second and then burst out in a mad cheer. The players were similar on it, ignoring Klopp’s heavy gesticulation asking them to keep focused. They felt the victory in their grasp and no one could bring them down.

Only a Bayern goal. And it came ten minutes later from a wonderful free kick by Alaba. After that, Klopp decided to strengthen the defense with Manni coming on for Kehli. It turned out to be a wise decision. The Munich players kept pushing forward and a fresh pair of legs was more than welcome on the pitch.

Ten minutes were left from the game. Almost everyone was on Dortmund’s half with Bayern in control. And then, Neuer left the penalty area, taking a few steps forward. Seb’s heart missed a beat. Everything was set for his plan and he could only hope that Marco would realize it. Or maybe he hoped that the blonde would forget about it. He wasn’t sure about his feelings anymore. On one hand, he would have liked to prove Klopp wrong, but on the other, he didn’t want to risk his plan to fail.

Schweinsteiger lost possession of the ball and Ilkay sent it forward towards Marco. The blonde dribbled past his man and Auba started his rockets in exactly that moment. He didn’t need to spare his energy, he could give all he had. Seb took a deep breath before he realized what was going on; he had explained it to the duo at least a hundred times. With Neuer out, Auba had a great chance of scoring from such a counter attack and Marco’s pass found him already a few steps ahead of a much slower Dante. Boateng, who had been man marking Marco the entire evening, noticed it and started off towards the Gabonese.

Many teams have gotten this far, trying to capitalize on Neuer staying far away from his goal. But, the German goalkeeper still had a huge advantage: he only had to focus on one player and he could stop him, usually. All the attention was focused on Auba, with many coaches encouraging him to shoot and score.

What not many have noticed was the fact that Marco was left completely alone, with a goalkeeper out of his goal and a lot of time to aim. Seb couldn’t stand the tension as Auba passed the ball back to Marco with his heel. All the defenders turned around stunned and saw as Marco already flung his leg. Seb could have sworn he saw the realization in Neuer’s eyes. He was beaten. Marco couldn’t miss from such an opportunity.

The crowd was sent into ecstasy as his chip went over Neuer and then dropped straight into the goal. Half of the crowd– the other half was left speechless. It wasn’t a simple goal. It was cheeky and maybe a bit arrogant. Just the way Seb liked football.

Marco turned towards the bench, searching for his boyfriend with his eyes as his teammates surrounded him, but Seb couldn’t appreciate his look fully, because another man turned towards him and his eyes weren’t so full of love. Klopp started off towards him with heavy steps, his face an unreadable granite.

“You impudent little brat!” He snapped when he got in a single step’s distance. Seb avoided his eyes so he couldn’t see him starting to grin and open his arms to embrace him a second later. “I love you!” He shouted and lifted him in the air.

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.” Seb murmured, not sure what to make of the head coach’s reaction.

“Yeah, yeah.” Klopp said bored. “Next time be sure to do that again!”

It was everything for the time being and everyone returned to their positions. There still were ten minutes to play. But, Bayern’s momentum was broken. They didn’t believe in their victory anymore and they just wanted to be done with this final. They had been humiliated in a way and they weren’t used to that. They didn’t even try to score any more, much to the annoyance of their fans who started to whistle at them. It was all drowned out by the Dortmund fans’ loud singing.

When the three sharp whistles cut through the air, the noise became deafening. The whole Dortmund bench ran on the pitch, led by Klopp. Seb wasn’t that kind of person, he stayed behind and walked on the pitch slowly.

“Congrats on that little trick.” A very sad Mario walked to him, offering him his hand.

“How did you know that–”

“Oh, come on! I know you. It had Seb written all over it!” Mario chuckled. “You deserved this victory, enjoy it. Go and see Marco!”

Seb didn’t need to be told twice. And the situation kind of solved itself, because just as Mario passed him, he saw Marco running to him. The blonde slowed down and stopped in front of him, putting on a serious mask very quickly.

“You did it!” Seb smiled and patted his shoulder. It was all awkward but he saw a camera approaching them from the corner of his eyes and he didn’t know how far he could go.

“No.” Marco said firmly. “ _We_ did it!” He laughed and hugged him.

Seb didn’t fight the touch, he leaned into it, breathing in the scent of Marco. He was soaking wet with sweat, but Seb couldn’t have cared any less. He wanted to feel him and live this success with him. Apparently, Marco wanted the same, because he drew him even closer, his embrace a tad tighter than what they had kept for the public.

“Um, Marco.” Seb drawled confused. “The whole world sees us.” The camera was close now and was definitely focused on them.

“Yes, I know. And to be honest, I couldn’t care less. We love each other, and now, the whole world knows.” Marco said as he leaned even closer to Seb, pressing their lips together.

 

THE END

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Two Hearts Beating As One](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2817389) by [Blue_Night](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Night/pseuds/Blue_Night)




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